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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • spacytracy
    started a topic Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

    Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

    Maybe we already do, in which case, sorry!

    I have had a rough week and I'm possibly over-analysing this, but I'm sure other re-riders have had these feelings too.

    I'm a working mom, and I have a fabulous, diamond-in-the-rough OTTB, who is green but learning EVERY day and is just a gem. He's awesome. We're working on straightness, doing some canter work, and cross-rails for fun. He's really smart, in a very good way. You tell him what you want and he goes "ok!".

    The thing is? I don't know HOW to tell him. I'm a capable rider, but have lost so much coordination and that instinct of what to do, that I'm basically starting over, when he is too.

    Thankfully, I have a really great trainer who is extremely sympathetic and helpful.

    Part of me is like WTF was I thinking getting this green horse. Another is like WTF is wrong with me, and maybe I'll never get better. Another is why am I even bothering trying to improve?

    I know this horse will be amazing. And he's ridden 4x/week by other people under trainer supervision and is doing amazing. So even if I can only ride him once a week, he's better every time I do. So that's a +1.

    The thing with me is, I can ride my other horse fine. I rode him yesterday, took him over a 2'3"/2'6" jump, no problem and no getting ahead (my big problem).

    Try to trot a X-rail on the new horse and I'm flopping around like a fish. My weakness is really made obvious with smaller, trot fences.

    I've really been thinking that I need to get my core in shape and I think that will help me. But WHEN? I have a 3 year old, a job, a house, and the horses. Oh, and a husband too. lol

    Sorry, I'm rambling. I know what I want, but I feel like I don't have the time, and I don't have the ability! I would love to know that I'm not the only one going through this!!!

    I did enjoy reading other re-rider threads, and knowing I'm not the only one, and that there's no shame in entering the long-stirrups for awhile to get my feet wet!

  • SuzieQNutter
    LOL PF. I hope a kitty shows up.

    Faye Awwww they never forget.

    Yes Bitsa you have to push to slow down and push also for balancing for faster corners. I found that out with Pepper. I once had a girl tell me that she didn't like being beaten, but she took her hat off to me to be able to go that fast and not one fence down.

    Greys I can see Sandro's smile from here and hopefully the ulcers are diminishing.

    I hopped on Stars for the second time time today. It is amazing how fast time goes. He was perfect on the lunge. He is also perfect to mount. We walked while hubby finished his workout on Sim. Stars doesn't care about that and stayed in walk.

    I was worried about the trot transition. I had hubby in front and told him to trot at a letter. I must have picked up the reins as suddenly Stars was not going forward, sideways and not straight and not forward. I dropped the reins and got him back on the track. I actually asked for trot before hubby reached the letter and Stars trotted. WHEW. We then followed him around the arena, a 20m circle, across the diagonal, around the arena and a 20m circle. He trotted the whole time. I used my seat and legs and not the reins.

    I was happy with that and after a walk hopped off him. There was no sweat as we hadn't done enough.

    The biggest difference is that he is now getting lipstick on the lunge. I see this as a good thing. He also had a bit of foam between his hind legs. I see that as a good thing as well. I am very happy.

    oh and the curry comb glove. I love it. It is not a rubber mitten. It it is like a riding glove but with bumps on the palm and fingers. Which means you can use it on the contours of the horse just by using one finger. It is great for the legs. Great for the dimple in the rump. I love it. I looked back and I paid $3.00.

    Leave a comment:

  • Faye
    Lucky: That was one of the happiest day this year for me too!

    Dewey: Thank you!!

    EQJumper: That is so strange they make you wait till year end?? Best of luck and we are waiting for some good news!

    Bitsa: I have no words on what happened to your animals Such a tragedy. I cannot even imagine what you and your family go through. I'm happy on the other hand about your boarding business, and able to provide such great avenue for those who need it. I've always think about that when i had Cato, what if something happen to him and he need a retirement place?

    Austen: It is great to hear about Bingley story. I know they remember us, but i was shock after so many years that they still remember!! These are great stories to tell
    And WHOA!! 4 year old mare? Need to tell us more! I might have missed the story!

    Greys: Sandro looks super happy in pasture. I do believe that some horses can't cope with the california barn life (bay area is the worse).
    When are you all going to Wellie? I will be in Miami beach for a meeting in Jan, if it works out, i would love to meet up for horse cuddle and wine!

    PF: Kitten!!! They are so much fun, they are easy to move, so thats not quite an excuse
    I hope your saddle fits! I rode in my friends Albion dressage saddle and its super comfy!

    I am having a ton of fun with the 4 year old. Our jump lesson was a little of a hot mess, she over jump due to poor distance, i was jumped out of tack, lost my reins, and fell apart. I kinda want to just make a circle and give up, but trainer made me finish the course, so i was already off track, staring at the jump from a sharp slanted angle, and we went over it. finished course and did not die.
    Learning so much with her!

    Leave a comment:

  • ParadoxFarm
    BITSA, so proud of what you accomplished on your super pony!! I love seeing the progress on IG. You had an excellent year. Also, I am heartbroken to your your story about your beloved animals. That's a horrible thing to have to go through on so many levels. Hugs your family's way for all the loss. I can totally understand your feelings about this. (And Dewey, you too even though it was in your past...still a loss.) Hang in there. I often still miss my dog, Leo. And my cats, Gracie and Spy. It takes time when you lose your pets, even in a less-shocking manner. Hope to hear from you more.

    Greys, thanks for the kind words. I do love to look out the window and see the boys content. Yeah, it is a lot of work, but it is good for me. It works. Sandro looks content on his grass as well! I definitely think turnout is going to be his happy place. Glad you are able to see how good he's doing in turnout. Hugs to you as well. Can't wait to hear how Welly goes! I wish I could make it down this winter for some vacation time and see you and Austen. Hmmm. Wonder if I could swing it.

    Dewey, glad to hear Lulu is doing well. She deserves it. Can't wait to see a pic.

    Austen, I love your Bingley story. That's sweet. And I like the hermit crab analogy. Tay came to use pretty stoic and standoffish. More businesslike in manner. He's finally starting to show a sweet side and I think he's doing well on our routine here. At first I didn't think he was very sweet, but he was an angel compared to TBG, so I was happy. But he's coming around and becoming more the horse I wanted, and it makes me so happy! I now think I'm his "peep". How exciting about Bee! Can't wait to see pictures. (And I'm still sorry for your loss of you beloved pup!)


    DH got called on a new case last minute yesterday, so no shoes for Tay. I rode Jazzy again, because I'm finding it's better for me to keep riding rather than take riding time off when my horse can't be ridden. I've found that I remember how I enjoyed working with Jazzy when my DH wasn't able to ride much. He's really a good boy (at home, haha). He was softening nicely for me and we just had a nice, quiet ride.

    On a side note, we had a kitten in our barn the other day. But when I walked into the barn, he hauled tail out of the barn. I just saw his cute little fluffiness and one white back leg. Unfortunately, I haven't seen him since. Darn. I could use another kitten. I'm not going to go out and get one since the farm is still technically for sale, but if one showed up....

    Leave a comment:

  • lostinAusten
    Bitsa - you know we’re always here to share the good (Yay Hope!) and the not so good. My heart goes out to your family on the loss of your loved animals. Sometimes life is just hard. On the other hand, I’m so excited for you to have horses at home. I know from experience how looking out the window and seeing them peacefully grazing can make it feel like all is right in the world.

    Faye - your reunion with the Toffman brought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. Horses really remember “their” people. Before we got Bingley (still miss him every day) he lived with my trainer’s parents in Ireland for a few years. After we had him about five years they came over to visit and we invited them to come see him, Now, Bingley was very standoff-ish in his stall. DD always said he was like a hermit crab, he’d retreat to the back corner unless you were one of “his” people. Trainer’s mother walked to his stall, said his name and he immediately walked over to her. That brought a tear to my eye too. And a chuckle from her because she said he was impossible to catch in the field! But he remembered her even after all that time. You two have that special bond!

    Greys - glad the boys arrived safely! Quite a long haul for them. We’ve used Beacon Hill (now Lukens with a recent merger) for years and Trainer #1 knows most of the drivers personally so we know the ponies are in good hands. They’ve settled in nicely to a new farm this year. DD and I are going to sneak down for a quick visit on the 17th. 12 LONG days from now. Even with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we really miss riding! And just being at the barn! I’m glad Sandro is enjoying the new situation. It’s funny but, our horses don’t particularly care for the FL grass as it’s different than our PA grass. Takes them a few weeks to realize that’s all there is! I’m sure Sandro is just thrilled with green snacks everywhere!! Do let me know when your dates firm up. I should be there for the duration of the circuit with the exception of a week in early Mar. (unless DS deigns to visit us this year. Then I’ll stay. DD would like him to come for her birthday, we’ll see.) We’ll be there to cheer you on!! (And of course cheer on the ponies until you get there!)

    So, it seems like eons ago I mentioned possibly buying a 4 yr. old mare from Europe? Well, the purchase actually went through in Oct. but getting her here became a comedy of errors (until it wasn’t funny anymore!). She finally arrived to FL today!! She’ll be with trainer #2 after quarantine (and won’t quite be out of quarantine when we make our quick trip, but we can visit her) and I’ll try to post pics when I can. We’re calling her Bee. So excited to watch her develop!

    Leave a comment:

  • Dewey
    PF, Lulu is doing well--will update later, maybe with a pic.

    Leave a comment:

  • Dewey
    BITSA, I haven't been writing much because I've been overwhelmed at work, but I had to respond to your post. First, congrats on your big win!!! SO PROUD!!! Loved the video!

    Second, my heart bled for you as I read about your horrific experience with your dogs. I had a very similar experience as a youngster with a dog I loved and who was totally devoted to me. She was overly protective and used to be agressive with people who came to the door, but we didn't see the warning signs, and my sister was given some ducklings to raise as pets. My dog got out of the house and killed them all. What was worse, after all the tears and horror, I promised I would keep the dog penned up and would be oh-so-responsible, so my parents got more ducks for my sister. A few months went by, and the dog got out again (this time from a pen outside) and killed all the ducks a second time. It was horrible. I was so upset and felt so guilty. We realized that the dog just could not be trusted (she had also bitten someone who came to the door), and we had her put to sleep. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had.

    Leave a comment:

  • greysfordays
    hi guys

    I've been reading and BITSA's post inspired me to update.

    First of all, what BITSA didn't mention is the absolute carnage happening in a lot of the jumper finals classes. The courses were NOT set soft, it was a true test of riding tact, you couldn't take anything for granted. The quality of her horse and riding were on display and let me tell you I absolutely teared up watching her cross through the final timers. She was amazing!

    BITSA I had no idea about the animals but MY GOD, that must have been utterly traumatizing. I can't imagine walking into that scene AND having the task of rehoming the dogs your husband loved. I am so sorry. That must have been so so hard for your family. Sending you hugs bc that sort of thing takes time to recover from.

    Faye I'm also emotional reading your reunion with Toffman. You can see in his eyes the deep trust he feels with you. That happened over months and months of tender and patient care. you saved that horse and he knows it in his bones!

    EqJumper Waiting on pins and needles to see how you finished. How crazy to have to wait like that!!!

    Lucky great job on getting new duds. Sometimes that can be a powerful motivation to get out there and push your boundaries. Like new sneakers encouraging you to run.

    PF I'm really excited to hear about the new saddle and how it's going with Tay. I have LOVED your pictures on instagram, I know it's a lot of work having horses at home, but seeing them in such peace, that must really do good for your soul.

    Austen Fingers crossed for a safe passage for your horses and let me tell you, you'll never get judgment from this california girl for not riding in the cold. That's not wussing out, that's just smart! I need to start coordinating dates with you in Florida. I'm going to leave my trainer to work peacefully without my meddling until mid Feb I think.

    as for me, I haven't really ridden since thermal. The horses have been gone a week. They traveled extremely well with Iron Horse Transport (highly recommend Lost they have new vans and extremely knowledgeable guys). None of the horses lost weight on the trip, and I think the IV fluids they got before leaving really helped.

    Sandro is living in paradise with tons of grass turnout and it's already had a huge impact on his temperament. My trainer got on him just to trot a bit around and see how he was feeling. Despite not being ridden in three weeks and being in a totally new place and it's being a bit cold, he didn't spook once. He was just relaxed and perfect. That's just unheard of for him.

    So that pretty much settles for me that he needs a change in lifestyle, one with real turnout. It also makes me feel like I made the right choice sending him out there. I'm hopeful we can find a good home for him.

    I'm pretty down and out to not be riding, but trying to stay upbeat as best I can.
    Attached Files

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    Hi everyone! I'm all caught up. It's been a crazy fall and I can't believe it's December. A couple of things happened that have kept me from being as connected as I'd like. The first is good, we finally got the barn finished and opened a very small retirement boarding business. We have two boarders (both people I know from the shows), one ex-1.50 horse who now looks like pregnant pony, and one middle aged horse who just can't stay sound. I love that their owners wanted to keep and retire them. DD's first pony Bowen will be joining them in the spring. he turns 20 this year and has spent the last 4 years being a lesson pony for my trainer. He's the best and we are happy he will be coming home. I love looking out and seeing the horses in the pasture--it's good for the soul.

    Which, my soul needed some goodness. In late September our dogs (which we've had since they were puppies and whom my husband in particular was very attached to) got out of their run and killed almost all our outside small animals: 4 chickens, two turkeys and our three goats. I don't know what happened with the dogs, something just snapped. I came home first to find what I can only describe as a massacre. I found 3 chickens alive, one was fine, two went to the vet and one of those two made it. My son's favorite hen "Chickie" didn't make it at the vet. Two of the goats were babies. Second to my mom dying, it was the most traumatic thing I've ever been through. I called my husband sobbing and screaming. The goats and chickens and turkeys were our pets. I wish I could unsee what I saw. Anyhow, I don't want to belabor it, but we ended up rehoming the dogs. They both found great new homes, but the whole situation was brutal on the kids, and my husband. He was really bonded with the dogs, but we couldn't have them stay. It took me a good month to get past just crying over everything. The hardest thing was coming home and not having it feel desperately lonely. The goats and turkeys used to come greet us (they free roamed during the day, the property is all fenced). Luckily, the to boarders moved in right after and having the horses there has helped. And we got new chicks a few weeks later when the kids were ready. We are taking it slow, but I'd like to get goats again when the kids want them.

    After all that I really didn't have my head in the game riding wise, but had qualified for Zone Finals at 1.10 so went down to Thermal. My trainer was great and kept telling me my only job was to enjoy the moment and being there with Hope--zero expectations. I got to see Greys ride--she is grace in the saddle and SO FAST! And I got to meet her new horse who is just lovely and see her most adorable son and Flo. They came to cheer me on, it was wonderful. Everything came together for me and Hope and by the last round I finally learned to let him gallop and keep coming through the turns! And we got to jump in the GP arena, which was perfect for Hope and his enormous stride. We ended up with four clear rounds and took home the gold medal for the adult 1.10 championships. It was a crazy feeling going last in the final round knowing I had to be clean, but we did it (thanks to some help from my sports psychologist) and Hope was just amazing. Sometimes it seems insane he's only 7 and such a solid guy. I got so lucky with him (and did you all know Greys helped me pick him out??? Poor thing I send her probably 125 videos of horses I liked when I was looking, and she would usually, very tactfully point out whay they were a "no," but not with Hope, she liked him the most and right away). Here's the video from the final round--it took a few days to sink in, but the whole experience was amazing

    Anyhow, it's been a long fall but things are getting back to normal. I am hoping to be less distracted. I adore you all and know this is a safe forum for me to express my sadness over the animals, and you all will know how much our animals mean to us.

    Leave a comment:

  • ParadoxFarm
    Got home early from a deposition today and the weather was decent. Dragged the arena. Brought Tay in. Took off sheet. Picked hooves. Missing a shoe. Ack. DH pulled it this morning because it was loose but didn't get it put back on yet. He wasn't home when I went out to tack up. So, tacked Jazzy up. He was actually a very good boy. I'm glad I was able to get a ride in!

    Leave a comment:

  • EqJumper
    PF - Yes, I was first to go and it was after the rest of the show ended so everyone was watching! Glad I didn't embarrass myself!
    lostin - Exactly, we find out at the banquet. So I find out Sunday!

    Faye - What a sweet reunion! Love the picture, perfect for Tongue out Tuesday!

    Leave a comment:

  • ParadoxFarm
    lucky, good deal on the boots. Crossing my fingers they work out perfectly!

    Dewey, how is Lulu doing?


    Well, I found my saddle. I ordered it online today. I'm crossing my fingers that it works out and fit well. My fitter said to try it, send pics and she'll help me figure it out via text/phone, etc. and she'll be back later in December if I think she needs to do any adjustments. It's an Albion SLK. I hope I like it. I'm not overly dressage-saddle savvy!

    Leave a comment:

  • Dewey
    Aww, Faye. That is a great story and an adorable pic. I love it.

    Leave a comment:

  • luckymaverick
    Faye- I'm so happy that you got to see Toff. Made my day

    PF- happy saddle shopping- I only hope it's more fun than boot shopping. I'm finally saddle-less, which makes sense since I'm horse-less.

    Took advantage of CyberMonday and got a nicer helmet for shows/exhibitions. Also found my boots, thanks to Ebay, and a determined seller. She offered back the lower price and I snapped them up. Can't wait to give them a test-ride. Now I just have to go showing, since I have fancy new duds.

    Leave a comment:

  • ParadoxFarm
    Aww..Faye. that's a great story. He definitely remembered you. Love that. And actually, though I hate the cold, snow makes decent footing if there's no ice! When I was a kid living in Michigan, we used to wait till it got UP to 0º before riding. Ha. Now if it's about 35º or less (maybe I'm even being generous) I don't ride.


    The saddle fitter came out, and now I have some models to go look for. The search begins. She said to sell my h/j saddle. Too small for me. And I do agree. (Not my Stubben, but my Neidersuss.) So after I figure out the dressage saddle, I'll start on the h/j saddle. My Stubben is only a so-so fit with Tay.

    Leave a comment:

  • Faye
    Suzie: oh dear, I’m sorry but it’s so funny you’re yelling at DH! Mine wouldn’t listen either lol

    PF: good luck with saddle hunting ! It was not fun for me but I’m very happy with my saddle.

    Sugar; how’s cash man?

    All- I got to see Toff !! You all know how much I love that silly silly boy, I didn’t want to say anything to jinx it so I kept quiet. My flight was delayed but I got there just in time to ride him just a little bit . You see, I’m from California and 19F is not a condition I’m used to and his new barn doesn’t have a covered or indoor so we rode around in snow (I was terrified of him sinking into the snow but he seems to be fine!)

    he smelled the same, acted the same I love him so much. It was hard to say goodbye. I gave him a hug and told him to go have dinner. What did he do? He started bowing ! This was something I taught him when he was in California , we would go back to his pasture, he would bow so I can give him his good boy cookies. Out of the blue, he started bowing and I swelled up in tears. That fully demonstrated that he remembered me! His new owner said he’s not done it here ever!
    my heart is so full.

    Leave a comment:

  • ParadoxFarm
    Austen, glad Lady C is back to normal. They sure know how to keep us on our toes, don't they? Sheesh. And happy to hear they arrived in FL safely. (greys, you, too!) Stay warm.

    Suzy, did you really yell at your hubby? My DH probably wouldn't listen to me if I yelled at him, haha. Just for spite.


    Well, I am on the hunt for a dressage saddle. As I look, I realize this is well beyond me in figuring out where to start! There are SO many (like h/j, I guess) and I'm not learned enough in dressage to know what I need. On a whim, I looked up saddle fitters and found one I remember being recommended on COTH before. She’s in my state, but not local to me. She’s on the other side of the state. I emailed her half an hour ago and asked about saddle fittings and if she was going to be in my area anything soon. She immediately responded saying she was in my town today! Go figure. And she has time so I she is coming out today for a fitting. Wish me luck! Guess I'll have to kick the dirt off Tay Tay!

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  • SuzieQNutter
    In the mean time I had completely wet hair and sweat dripping off my nose at 6am this morning and all I was doing was yelling at hubby.

    I hopped on Stars for the first time in ages yesterday. I only walked as my right arm is upset. It hurt to pull on short boots and at lunch time it hurt to press a knife in a pie. Hubby asked what I had done. I don't know but I have gone from not riding up to 2 horses in a day.

    Then he called me once again with putting metal up for rafters for a shelter for the horses. So going up a ladder and lifting it and holding it over my head to measure holes and then doing it again to put bolts in after the holes have been drilled and those rafters are quite heavy for me. You have to do it one handed as the other hand is holding onto the ladder, so you dont fall. I also was out helping him with his project with a backhoe he bought, so once again lifting things over my head. No wonder my poor arm was complaining and it had nothing to do with riding horses.

    This morning I told hubby not to lunge Sim and just hop on. I would come up and get Stars and lunge him and then ride with him.

    When I went up Sim looked so terrible I went up to yell at hubby instead. He went from sucking back and looking out to being forward and soft.

    I asked doesn't that feel better? He looked terrible before. He replied he felt terrible before but there was nothing he could do. When I entered the arena Sim started going forward and working correctly. I said that is because you did what I told you to do. He said no it was because Sim reacted to me being in the arena!

    I permoxined Sim and put him away so hubby could get ready for work. I only lunged Stars as he was not perfect and cantered more than once when I asked him forward in trot, so I erred on the side of safety as I was now home alone.

    Tomorrow I will probably do the same as hubby will ride Dodge and at the moment Dodge and Stars are sharing a saddle.

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  • lostinAusten
    EqJ - nice job on a challenging course! But not finding out results until next month? Does the association announce the results at a year end banquet? Great way to get people to attend. One of our local associations has a year end banquet and has wonderful door prizes and a silent auction which entices people to attend. I haven’t been in years as I’m away in Jan. when it’s held but it’s pretty popular.

    PF - loved the picture of the boys lounging in the sun! You know they feel safe when both nap at the same time.

    Lucky - thanks! I try to keep up but don’t always have time to post. Love your pictures of Pony on IG.

    The horses arrived safely to Wellington. Lady C tried to throw a wrench in the trip by being lame in her bad leg last weekend and having a little fever. We thought she might be developing cellulitis or an abscess. Vet did some blood work which was all clear and by Wed. she was back to normal. She tends to get a fever after shipping long distance so the vet had prescribed an immune booster which we think she had a minor reaction to. (Never a dull moment!) They headed south in the nick of time, freezing rain today and snow expected tomorrow - hello winter!

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  • ParadoxFarm
    Sugar, I've been thinking about Cash. How is he?

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