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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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    Originally posted by lostinAusten View Post
    Tiger - Not silly at all! I always tell my gang when a change is occurring. Before they shipped to Tryon I had to tell Casira no shenanigans while shipping! She pestered her "boyfriend" the whole trip to Upperville and ended up with a sore neck. I don't think Penny really likes change so I tell her which of her people are going with her and that we'll be there later in the week. G's pretty easy going about everything so I tell him he's in charge and to have fun and I'll be there with cookies in a few days. Then when we get there I tell them all - see, we're here, just like I said! When I leave my house I tell my dogs when I'll be back! I'm sure Dodger appreciates the heads up and can sense your excitement/relief.
    Aww. I talk to my animals as well. All of them: dogs, horses, cat. Maybe they couldn't care less, but I think they appreciate the tone, etc.

    Nice braiding job, TC! I don't do well braiding. Glad Cupid was a good boy. And the nice thing with dressage is really, you're just working on you and your horse at any given point. Try to do one thing better, and hopefully the scores will reflect. If they don't, it's still okay and you know what you can work on at home.

    afm...CUTE!!! All I can say.

    Tiger, I'm counting down the days for you. Exciting!

    2ta,(2nd time around) I feel your pain. Not all horses like all things. Is there something you can find that your horse really enjoys and can excel at? Then you have two options. One, you can enjoy that new discipline, or two, you just made him marketable to a different discipline where you can find a good home for him and come back to h/j and take your time looking for a new horse. Anyway, WELCOME!
    My hopeful road to the 2021 RRP TB Makeover:


      Hi everyone! Having a bit of a low faith moment and would love to hear from anyone who's been here. I'm a re-rider of the last year and a half after about ten years away. I'm just wondering, will I ever get my dang eye back?

      I used to see a jump from 8-10 strides out (to the point I wasn't even thinking about it, it was just... normal) and have now worked my way back to seeing them from about 4 strides away. This is definitely doable, and maybe a step better than when I started again... and it does help me focus on rhythm and my track, etc. But there are definitely days where I'm frustrated or feeling a bit exposed around a bigger course. Have any of y'all dealt with this? Is it just a matter of time (assuming my vision is ok, which I think it is) or is this my new normal? I was chatting with a girl about my age (who never took a "break") at the show ring yesterday and she said "oh no" and started clucking furiously about three strides before I saw the rider getting into trouble. It kind of drove the whole thing home for me (not because I'm comparing myself with her, but yeahhh, I'm comparing myself with my past self!)

      And also, OMG, will I ever learn to close my fingers around my reins? I think I picked this one up trying to be "soft" my first few months back and have ended up with loose fingers, tense elbows, and lengthening reins. Nothing's so effortless as it used to be, that's for sure!


        hj06 Enjoyed the videos! I bet it is miserable riding in your heat and humidity, yuck. Hope your work situation turns out to be a great change.

        Sugar Your trip sounded really fun! Haven't done a moonlight ride in ages but yours sounded great. Good boy Goose for being a bad ass trail pony!!

        Tiger Yay for the new perfect place! Can't wait to see pics. So happy for S and her gang, and the horses. Sometimes good things do come to good people and it's always refreshing to hear about it. I talk to all my animals too so I get it. I'm sure Dodger is as excited as you are to leave!

        CC Sounds like Ziggy is going to make an excellent trail horse! Good for you for taking him out and giving him a chance to see how fun it can be. Did you not have a spare for the trailer? Unloading and reloading into a different trailer could have been bad. If you have a spare you don't even have to jack the trailer up, just run the other tire up onto a trailer buddy jack and it is easy to change. We knew some people that unloaded in a rest area to change a tire and it ended in disaster with a horse getting scared and getting away from the owner. I won't go into further details but it was tragic. Just a cautionary tale and something to think about.

        Cupid I'm glad you were able to enjoy your 2nd test. Good job braiding! What's next on the schedule!

        Austen Good luck in Tryon! Loved hearing how you let your horses know what the plan is, I'm sure they appreciate it.

        2nd Time Welcome! I can sympathize with your difficult horse dilemma. I've had my fair share of those.

        PF Have you been able to get some rides in? I bet it's been hot and humid there.

        Faye I loved seeing Toff trotting! Woo hoo!! Cato looked really good when trainer went by. He is really muscling up.

        I know I probably missed a few people. Sorry about that.

        I have some news. Quincy is back!! He did not work out so we took him back. They took him to a small local show and the mother tried to show him in halter. He was nervous and wiggly but did ok, then got spooked leaving the arena and she lost him and he ran around like an idiot. Then later one of the daughters was just riding around with a friend letting him see the sights and he spooked again and off she went. She didn't want to deal with him after that so the other daughter started riding him at home. She rode him twice in the arena and it went ok, then rode him down to the mailbox and the dogs came running thru the weeds and he spooked, spun and left her in the driveway. So I can understand why they don't want him. They are all good hands but they have mostly dealt with quiet, good minded horses and if they aren't like that they either go to a trainer or sell them. I know how fast Quincy can spin around and leave, I've ridden thru several of them.

        Even with his spooking problem I was sooo happy to have him come home, I felt horrible about him leaving! If it hadn't been for the drought I never would have let DH talk me into it. Still no rain and it is getting worse and worse around here. Crops are looking bad and all that is left in pastures are weeds. Cattlemen are starting to sell off cattle and the prices are way down, but they don't have a choice. I ran into the local USDA official (Ag dept) and he said we are on track for the least amount of moisture, snow and rain combined, that has ever been recorded here. Not the kind of record you want to set. Combine that with many days in the 100s and you can see why everything is burning up.


          Sugar, Tigre, and Paradox - Thanks! I've been playing a bit with hunter braids but his mane is too long and thick to make it really work! I came up with a way to loop under twice instead of just once. But if I ever do any hunter shows it's probably just schooling (he's not chipped for USHJA) and I wouldn't braid.

          AFM - Not to be judgmental, but it definitely sounds like too much too soon then new/old owner tried with Quincy. He was probably still trying to settle into her place, I'm not surprised a show would push him over the edge. I hope things work out for you and those in your area, it sounds like a really tough situation.
          I'm thinking of doing a local schooling show at the end of this month, hopefully with my coach coming along so she can observe the differences between us at home and shows and help us with some new strategies. I've gone to the last several shows alone, which I don't mind (sometimes prefer actually, lol, it makes me less nervous!), but I think a check in would be helpful. Then next month I might do our first 2 day show (I've taken him before just for schooling, but never shown 2 days.) Since he did so well in a new place in Oregon I'm feeling more confident about it! And of course hopefully we'll get to do some trail rides between now and then. Maybe even to the beach??? I think the waves will make him a little nervous, but hopefully if my friend and her steady horse come along it won't be too bad.

          Brighlights - I think you will get your eye back with practice. I find it helpful to just practice with poles on the ground, or caveletti. First start trying to count down from 3 strides out, then 4, gradually increase until you can do it further out. Then you can try related distances and adding or taking out a stride. How often do you ride? On your own or just lessons?
          I have bad joints in my right hand so I can't keep it fully closed, it drives my trainer nuts! I finally showed her off the horse how bad it is, which she didn't quite get, so now she sympathizes but still seems hopeful that it will improve, lol. But yeah, open fingers is not actually kinder to the horse :/

          I had a really good lesson yesterday, after a bit of a lazy start. By the end of our rides Cupid is consistently track up, plus some. I'm still working on keeping my upper body on the vertical, but to do it without overarching my lower back which I have a bad tendency to do but it's getting better. I picture saddle seat riders in my head, lol. Also had a bit of a revelation on using my outside rein in shoulder-in. Like duh, obviously, since we've established (through months and months of riding circles) that the inside rein controls the nose and I'm trying to move the shoulder, it would make sense that I use the "outside rein" (whichever one that is in the context of which way I'm moving the shoulders) to avoid overbending at the neck.
          Cupid saw the chiropractor yesterday for some minor adjustments. She (also a DVM) also recommended I add rice bran pellets for a while to add some weight - I agree he's dropped a little so we'll give that a try.


            Tiger- great news about S, glad you're one step closer to the Happy Place.

            TC- great braid job. When you say "open fingers", do you mean no contact and very little bend in the fingers? I struggle with that riding Pony- she loves lots of contact, but I try to not hold her face.

            Sugar- thanks for asking, I think the Big Show is back on. Once we get pricing, I can figure if it's in the budget.


              afm - OMG - could Buddy be any cuter?! And woohoo, I know it's not ideal, but WELCOME HOME Qunicy!!
              Still doing my rain dance for you - obviously it's not working - I'm gonna have to try harder!

              Welcome brighlights! I can't help with distances as I'm a dressage rider but I sure can relate to the open fingers. Constant struggle. Although since I have started riding without gloves - I can't remember why I did a few weeks ago, I've gotten much better about maintaining a better a grip on the reins - go figure.

              I sure am glad everyone else tells their horses future plans - I was starting to think I'd lost it Not that I don't talk to him, but it's more the every day stuff . . .

              TC - congrats on a great lesson - funny how all of sudden something will just "click"!

              I tried rice bran for Dodger - made him super excitable - hopefully that won't be the case for Cupid! After lots of experimenting I finally settled on a cup of Canola oil with Dodger's night time snack and that seemed to work well for him. Of course, Dodger is also not the most enthusiastic eater there is - so I had to find something with alot of bang for the buck. Of the joys of horse ownership!

              Tomorrow we will be working at the new farm More limestone is being delivered today so we can finish the stalls. The stall fronts (grills) that we removed on Wednesday will be powerwashed and then painted. Stall walls (cement) will be painted.

              Tack rooms are being cleaned and painted. S's office is being cleaned and painted.

              Paddock fencing is being repaired as needed. And a couple new smaller paddocks are being put in (for individual turnout and injured horses, if needed).

              I may or may not have my lesson - depends on how things go at the new farm and I'm OK with that - we can catch up during the week. We need to get things done while we have the extra hands!! It is so cool how everyone is just pitching in and helping out.

              Next week the indoor is getting leveled out and new footing put in. Same with the outdoor.

              25 days and counting . . .



                AFM I agree with TC. I just shook my head when you said she took him to a Show. Sheesh. I bet Quincy is glad to be back. I would still teach him that when he gets a fright he is to stand still instead of run. He is a horse. He is allowed to get a fright. It is what he does afterwards that needs changing.

                I would Google what to feed horses or ask on COTH what to feed horses when hay is unavailable. I think carrots is part of it. You are not the first that hay has disappeared for. Hay is a substitute for grass. I can't remember what is a substitute for hay. If I could find all my stuff from lectures it might be in the somewhere but I have had decades to misplace it!!

                Of course I talk to the horses. When hubby is at work or visiting his Dad there is no one else to tell things to. I am back from visiting Mum. Sigh new hearing aids which to me are totally useless. There was no point talking to her and it was frustrating. At least the horses can hear me.

                TC I have never heard that the inside rein controls anything. It is the opposite. The inside rein has to be given. The inside rein asks for bend. The outside rein controls it. The inside rein asks for flexion. The outside rein controls it. If you hold the inside rein you are blocking forward. A lot of horses will react badly. Case in point hubby and Dodge. The more he used the inside rein the more Dodge brought his shoulders off the track and his head up. Hopefully we are are over that episode now. It has taken at least 6 months and it had only changed because I physically grabbed his hand and said NO and pulled it out instead of crossing the neck. No amount of telling him or threatening him worked!

                To close your fingers the secret is in your thumb. Keep your thumb down and your pinky closed and voila. Communicate through the reins with your elbows.

                Sounds easy doesn't it. Nope!

                Welcome BL. If you are riding daily an eye for a stride will come back easier than if you are riding once a week. As TC said you can practice over poles on the ground and grids are great.

                We have had some rain so I went back to Mum's last night.

                I should be able to ride Stars this morning if the rain stays away for awhile.

                It is better to ride 5 minutes a day than it is to ride 35 minutes on a Sunday.


                  Tigre - That's what I'm afraid of! Most horses seem to do fine on it, but of course there are always exceptions.

                  Lucky - Yes I mean little bend in the fingers. I can't really keep my right fingers closed very long, a lot of times I end up holding the reins in my fingertips It's never been diagnosed, but it will crack every time I make a fist (like I can crack it 20 times in a row, it's a pretty ugly sound). Coincidentally I met someone today who is a hand surgeon, and I was really tempted to ask her but I'm sure that's annoying for her when people ask these random medical questions at her time off!


                    ARGH TC when standing near her open and close you hand so it cracks and comment that that doesn't seem right and ask someone else if they know what that means.

                    TIGRE You need a glove that is not slippery.
                    It is better to ride 5 minutes a day than it is to ride 35 minutes on a Sunday.


                      AFM- I'm glad Quincy is home.


                        Suzie - gloves definitely aren't slippery. For whatever reason I'm just having better success without them right now!


                          Aww...Quincy. I understand you, afm.


                          Anyone else watching the World Cup? I have been pretty unproductive lately as I get into watching the games!
                          My hopeful road to the 2021 RRP TB Makeover:


                            TIger: Who doesn't talk to their animals!! I talk to everyone of them, mine or not! . I know you can't wait to move and settle in the new place, seems like a long needed change, I am sure you all will be super happy!

                            TC: As always, i'm really impressed that you go to show alone, I don't know how you can do this! I totally get the less pressure part though.
                            You're gonna laugh, it took me years to understand that inside rein bends the neck only :P

                            BrightLights: Speaking from someone who needs a seeing eye horse, I adore that you can see strides (however many!!) away! I'm one of those when asked count 3 strides out, will go, 3, 2, 1 SHIT (theres another stride)

                            Sugar: Cato definitely has bigger strides than Toff, but I don't know what will happen if we have a correctly set in and out set. He use to take long spots to everything, but lately he seems to be much better, i'm not sure what made the change.
                            OMG, so proud of Goose!! I cringe at the thought of taking Cato on trail ride, and moonlight trail ride??? What good boys!!

                            BITSA: your IG pictures of DD and ponies, so much love!

                            CC: 10 min is a huge improvement!! Cato is not a great loader either :P

                            AFM: Awwwww, welcome home Quincy! Jingling the situation will turn for the better for everyone!

                            Those on IG knows that the T-man has been trotting the long side of the big arena now for a week, and he is a very happy camper. The adult riders have this informal friday night dinner/drinks at the barn but because i usually have early lessons on friday, i never made it. Last friday, we had a photo shoot session with T-man late afternoon so I get to join in the fun. Some of the things they said about T-man was a bit disturbing - they said the body work lady that know him since he was a baby said he should've been put down at two years old because he was crazy, the vets (yes, plural) that takes care of all the lesson horses all are so done with him as he is impossible to deal with and should never let children be near him. Here I am thinking, he is the most cuddly, lovable horse that gives me all the love, why are they saying such bad things about him. I'm glad he will have a forever home and his new (old) family loves him as much as I do!

                            TSH continues to develop well and growing up! He's such a good boy jumping and getting stronger everyday!
                            CC: 10 min is a huge improvement!! Cato is not a great loader either :P


                              PF, I have to go to the dentist on Wednesday. I was eating some almonds recently, and my crown came off! Fortunately, I did not swallow it. Anyway, I thought of you when I made the appointment.

                              AFM, I am happy/sad for you about Quincy. Jingling hard that you get some rain!!
                              I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                                Faye, I'm so happy Toffman has found his place. He deserved that chance, and you deserve the chance to see him happy as well! Yay, win-win. I always love your IG pics.

                                Dewey! ACK. Sorry to hear about your crown. I've got the one side fixed, but still dealing with the other side. Sigh. I feel your "pain". How is Sky doing?

                                My hopeful road to the 2021 RRP TB Makeover:


                                  Paradox - I caught a few games - been rooting for Croatia (next best thing to Hungary, lol), so I'm excited they've made it to the semi-finals. My dad is a giant soccer fan (still plays himself), they actually went to Russia!

                                  Faye - Toffee is very lucky he has you and her his new/old owner. He didn't seem crazy to me, just deeply distrustful of people. I have to think something pretty bad must have happened to make him that way.

                                  It's finally feeling like summer here, Cupid has been feeling the heat and being a bit lazy. (so far no side-effects from the rice bran!) We had a nice relaxing ride around the property on Saturday, they cleared some of the paths we haven't been able to use for a while so that was nice, and dropped into the outdoor ring for some trot work. Then a lesson on Sunday. Did ground driving today, and maybe some jumps tomorrow to keep up the variety!


                                    Getting caught up here!

                                    AFM: I am so sorry about the back and forth with Quincy. It definitely sounds like he is in better hands with you. I had no idea the drought situation was as dire as it is over there. Thank God you were wise enough to set aside a rainy day (or in this case drought) fund. Everyone who has animals or children should follow your example.

                                    Sugar: Wow, loved reading about your moonlight ride. And how great that Goose was a perfect angel. I think you've given me something to add to my bucket list!

                                    Tigre SOOOO excited for your move and your great lesson. Now you will have dream come true barn and dream come true trainer. And you sure had to pay your pound of flesh to get there. I can't wait for you to learn how to ground drive this winter, that sounds like such an incredibly useful skill to learn. I really ascribe to the talking to horses camp. I think it really makes a difference. So you are definitely not crazy.

                                    CC Wow, that is quite the trailer adventure. How did you realize the trailer had a flat? I'm thinking of getting a rig and I'm trying to learn all I can. So glad Ziggy just hopped right on the rescue trailer, phew!

                                    Austen Good lucky in Tryon, I am praying you don't all melt. I love your run down of what you tell your animals. I especially love the no shenanigans to Casira, that made me LOL. I can feel some of the longing to own your own barn, I have it too... but now that Sandro is in such good hands, I have to admit that is a hell of a lot less stressful.

                                    Cupid Wow on the braids... you are inspiring me to get proficient at jumper braids! Cupid looks adorbs. I'm with PF about the dressage goals and keeping it so concrete. that's definitely one of the appeals of competing in dressage vs. jumpers where you have the variability in courses to contend with. On the shoulder in, you might find it easier to have that outside rein connection if you do the shoulder in directly after coming out of a circle. That always helps me to have the right "fill" before establishing the three tracks.

                                    2nd time, I agree with Cupid, there is a lot to be said for taking a horse off campus for excursions and it is a lot cheaper than showing. My horse is 9 and still very special in the brain, so I can definitely relate to the more reactive ride.

                                    BL I totally feel you on getting your eye back. For me, it has never been as good as it was when I was a junior. It was completely effortless back then, I wasn't even thinking in words. That said, even with an eye not quite as good, I'm actually jumping higher than i was as a junior (or was before I had my baby), bc I'm much better at everything other than finding the jump. I'm much more disciplined about straightness and balance and impulsion. And honestly, those are more useful for creating a good jump. Plus I'm hopeful it will keep improving. so don't give up faith!

                                    PF So sorry about all the tooth trouble, that is the literal worst. I'm really sensitive about any and all dental work. Hang in there.

                                    Faye I'm so thrilled for Toffee and shocked by what others were saying about him. You've done him such a huge service, I am sure he knows it.

                                    So of course when we scoped Sandro he either had eaten micro bits of hay that he kicks through his bedding or his own poop. So we couldn't see if the pyloric ulcers are gone. His squamous ulcers are gone thanks to the gastro guard, tho I'm hoping that if he were truly miserable, they would still be there. We rescope him on Thursday. I'm hopeful the pyloric ulcers are gone, we've now been dealing with this for 7 months!

                                    He's had some up and down days. It got very hot here and it's actually helped make him a little less reactive. He still has some really giant spooks to keep you on your toes, but I was able to jump around a little 3' course on Sunday without major reactions. I was actually happy he knocked a jump down, to me it felt like he was finally relaxing about the fences.

                                    The trainer situation with my former barn is still a bit up in the air. I will say, it's been interesting to be a bit more independent and responsible for him. I've decided to skip Sonoma at the end of July. It just feels like too much of a haul and stress load for him. I'm toying with taking him in the Bernie Traurig workshop instead of showing in August.


                                      greys So glad your new barn is wonderful. I hope your trainer situation works out, but it is a good thing that you can now advocate for Sandro without dealing with hurt feelings. Newbies definitely need guidance but long time experienced horse people are more than capable of making decisions about their horses. Only in the h/j world does it seem that trainers want to have a death grip on their control over the horses and clients.

                                      I had to put down one of the old boys yesterday. Roy was 25 and he had several problems that were dragging him down. He had Cushings for the last 8 years and he had some lameness issues. With meds and extra care in the cold winter months and hot summer months he had been doing ok thru his "golden" years but this summer was too much. Our heat started in May and we've been having most days in the upper 90s and low 100s and he was having trouble coping with it. Then Sun morning he came in quite lame on his bad leg and I knew it was time. Got him comfortable with bute and banamine and he spent his last two days in front of two fans, with all the hay he wanted and bunches of carrots and treats.

                                      He was such a good boy. He was a QH/Arab that I bought when he was 5 so I had him 20 years. He was an excellent lead pony, he saved my ass more times than I can count. He had a great work ethic and never got sour no matter how rank the racehorses were or how many times he got bit or kicked. When we retired from the track he carried me on miles of trails all over the Midwest. If the trail was tough or a creek or river crossing was iffy he would always find a way thru and the rest of the horses would follow. He was as gentle as could be but at the same time he had a big motor. He was as quick and powerful as you needed him to be or as quiet as you needed him to be. He was the 1st horse I rode after our car accident. At that time he was already retired and hadn't been ridden in a couple years but I trusted him completely. I told DH I wanted to ride, at least walk around, and he said how in the hell are you going to get on? Roy was 16.2 and I had a cast from my toes to my hip. So DH figured out a way. He put a pallet in the bucket of the front end loader of the tractor and I stood in it with my walker. He raised it up in the air and then got Roy and led him up to it. He never batted an eye, just stood next to it while I fiddled around moving my walker and getting myself situated. The front end loader was even with the stirrup so I got my foot in and swung the leg with the cast over and I was riding! Wish someone was there to video that little bit of redneck ingenuity! I rode Roy three times before I felt ready to start riding my younger horse and then he went back to his well earned retirement.

                                      Here's a pic of him this Spring after I gave him his body clip.



                                        AFM- I'm so sorry about Roy. He was quite handsome with a kind eye. Thank you for sharing about him. Jingles for you and the rest of your herd.

                                        Greys- I had no idea ulcers could be so elusive to treat/eradicate. Jingles for you on Thursday. I'm glad Sandro is staying relaxed, and that your course went well. If the 3' course was schooling, is the plan to go 4'+ with him?

                                        Bitsa- What's Hope's lineage? I was reading an article, of course I can't remember the sire's name, and it mentioned specifically of the two-tone grey tails he threw. I thought of you when I read it- should have written it down.


                                          Awwwwww, AFM--you have had a tough time. Soooo sorry about your loss of Roy. I am so glad you shared his story and pic. I agree with Lucky--he was very handsome. There is something special about the QH-Arab cross, I think. What a good boy he was, and you gave him a great life. I am sure he loved you, and I know you loved him. Hugs!

                                          (Any signs of rain yet?)
                                          I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne