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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Thanks for all the happy thoughts/vibes, y'all! I go from being really, really excited and happy to being nauseous. (And in between mood swings, I'm buying new tack in my head. )

    I mean, I still have to meet this guy. And we have to click, at least on some level. Trainer No. 2 seems to think we'll be a good match. Her WB likes me, and she's seen me ride. She knows I'll be with her for the first month or two, but then will move to Trainer No. 1 barn as summer approaches so I can show.

    Originally posted by Dewey View Post
    I am terrified that he won't accept my offer and terrified that he will! The responsibility of ownership is very frightening, but I really love the mare.
    I hope you get the mare! And it's such a strange dual feeling, isn't it?

    Financially, I can do it. But it will be tighter than I like. He's going to need private turn out and a stall (doesn't play well with others), which adds an additional chunk to the board. On the plus side, he probably won't need shoes. But the extra board -- oy vey. It puts me from the 'Yes, I can afford this,' to the 'Oh, god. I think I can afford this,' camp. The bump in cost kind of eats up the extra $$ I would be saving for other expenses like the occasional local show, an extra lesson here and there, unforseen costs, etc.

    Needless to say, I'll be making a budget this weekend.

    On the plus side, I'm still in the running for that promotion at work. I just won't know if I get it until early April. :-\
    The dude abides ...

    Comment


    • Congrats to Tarheel, Dewey and Opus!!!

      Opus, you will get the promotion and the bigger paycheck, but it will be just enough to take care of your horse - the law of averages and all that!

      I actually got to ride this afternoon - yes, a Friday! I think Finn was surprised and had to check his calendar. But it was so good and since I am taking a lesson tomorrow, a nice warmup for it.
      And nothing bad happened!

      Comment


      • Way to go Opus and Dewey! I have ridden for years (more than I'd like to admit) and it wasn't til I bought my first horse that my riding really went to a whole new level. It's really been the best thing I've ever done. My first mare was a lunatic OTTB that I never should have been riding in the first place, but she truly saved my life. I was in that place where I was just somebody's mother, somebody's wife, somebody's employee, but I had stopped being a person. It was like I was invisible. When I got that mare, all of a sudden I was somebody who did something again, thought about something, had friends and something to talk about. Is it expensive? You bet. I can't remember the last time I bought new clothes or shoes just because. Is it worth it? You bet it is. It's a bit like "should I have another baby?". Is there ever a logical reason to do that? No. Is it expensive? Yes! you do it anyway because you do it from your heart. Same with owning horses. Close your eyes and jump in with both feet. You won't regret it, I promise. Just make sure it's the right horse. Pretty soon you won't be able to imagine how you ever managed NOT to own one!

        Good luck and let us know how it turns out. I, for one, have all my fingers and toes crossed for you (and a lot of unused tack sitting around that I'll be happy to send you if you need it!!)

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          Congrats to both! One day at a time, the great thing about a lease is that if it proves to be too much, you are not tied down.

          I went to the orthopedist about my hand, not broken. Still is killing me, but I'm sure it will get better.

          Lesson this morning!

          Comment


          • Thanks for the support, everyone. I am still terrified about this step, and I would much prefer to go on as we were, with me riding and the owner covering her expenses.

            The good news is that the owner wants to accept my offer.

            He wants to put some conditions into the bill of sale that I am a bit hesitant about. He wants a 20% share in her sale proceeds should I sell her within the next seven years, and he wants a foal out of her, and I am not quite sure how that would work. However, we haven't settled anything yet. I am going to talk to him about this further (probably tomorrow when I go to the barn), and I want to get some advice from the B/O about these caveats.

            Here's her pedigree if anyone is interested:

            http://www.allbreedpedigree.com/key+to+the+blue

            I am still kind of stunned that it looks as though I will be a horse owner after all. Happy but stunned. The biggest immediate relief is that I can show her next weekend without worrying about the owner bringing perspective buyers to watch her perform.
            I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

            Comment


            • Good morning, everyone! Snow showers and 27 degrees here. Wind chill of 15 or so.

              Crossing fingers and toes for Dewey and Opus. Keep us posted!
              It's 2020. Do you know where your old horse is?

              Comment


              • Hoping you gel with the new guy Opus1! Dewey- sounds like a good idea to discuss the owner's demands with a third party. Hope it works out for you.

                I still haven't made it to the gym, but I did ride Thursday and Friday. Felt so strong riding without stirrups I must have ridden for about 45 minutes on Thursday. Only picked them up to do a few canter laps and jump a few crossrails. Mostly worked at the walk, but still... Have started to trot over a since pole on the ground. Friday AM I was sore but warmed up without stirrups then went on a trail ride with a friend and her new 3 year-old TB filly.

                Weather has turned very chilly so we will see what tomorrow brings as far as going to the barn.

                Comment


                • While I am happy for you Dewey - not so sure about his sale demands. Is it a sale or not? If it's a sale, then IMO, once the money and bill of sale are exchanged, he has no more right to the horse. In other words, why is the previous owner entitled to a commission if your sell YOUR horse; be it in seven year or whatever?

                  The foal part is easier - don't breed her. But if you want a foal from her, now you are in for two just to get one for you.

                  Just my 2 cents.......
                  And nothing bad happened!

                  Comment


                  • He feels the horse is worth a lot more than I am offering, but he wants me to have her. This is his way of killing two birds with one stone. Personally, I think the mare has potential to be worth quite a bit more, but now she is so green that no one is going to pay what he thinks she's worth. She has no show record whatsoever and has not even been on a trail ride. I am uneasy about his having future control over the mare. I hope I don't have to sell her, but I am not really sure if I can afford her, and I may have to at some point.

                    As for the foal business, I don't think I'll ever be able to afford to breed her, but you never know. I don't like the conditions, so I am going to talk to the B/O, whom I trust, before I make any commitment. She may be able to get him to see that what he's asking isn't realistic.
                    I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      Good that you are going into this with your head and not heart. My concern would be, what happens if the mare dies before he gets a foal? Is everyone just taking the loss? And why should he get 20% of your hard work? Seems that I would offer a little more now to have him off my back and be free and clear. That's just me though, and I don't like having ties to anything.

                      I finished week 1 of C25k, and started week 2 yesterday. A friend of mine wants to do it which is really nice because we gab the entire time and the clock runs out pretty quickly that way! I'm aiming for a 5k in May/June. I know of one in June I want to do (for pitbull rescue) but I might want to try to get one in before that. I haven't ran a 5k in a few years and even then I sucked! I barely made it in before the walking people caught up to me! This time I'd like to do it a little more respectively!

                      I had a lesson yesterday and it was both good and frustrating. I rode a mare that I have seen do some pretty nutty stuff, and she is a horse with a HUGE engine. Practically leaps into the trot and canter and speeds off a little until you tell her where you want her. Obedient, yes, but teeny and quick. Needless to say I was a bit nervous at the canter on her, and I felt a little not-in-control. Her owner is a reallly novice person so I knew if she can handle her I can too, but with my core weakness, I am at a disadvantage for sure. So I cantered her a few times, then decided to quit, as I felt a little nervous. My trainer and I switched horses (she was on her own horse) and I rode her little horse around while she showed me this horse wasn't going to do anything. It was reassuring, but still, that's a TRAINER riding the horse. Not a novice re-rider.

                      At any rate, I felt good that I had ridden her, but I think next time I want to be on something that is steady eddy, nothing that I have to "worry" about or really do anything on. I told my trainer "I'll ride this horse in 3 months and love it!" But, not yet.

                      On a good note, she said I can bring my little Lucky up to her place for a month or so to let the IHSA girls ride him, I can get some instruction on him, and maybe we can do some dressage shows in the spring. I'm thrilled, I get my boy up there and I can ride in the indoor and jump (I miss jumping SO badly!!!) on a horse I know in and out.
                      Me and the little stinker:
                      http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y56...5/P1030186.jpg

                      Comment


                      • The trouble is, spacytracy, that I offered as much as I feel I can afford. I am feeling more and more uneasy about the whole thing, and I am afraid it may not happen. The danger of risking the mare for a foal that won't be mine has indeed occurred to me, and I feel I just can't do it. In fact, I just said to DH on the way home from church, "What if she dies while foaling?" I will see the owner today when I go down to ride (he usually shows up to watch), and I'll listen to him, but I will be upfront and tell him I can't commit to anything yet. I need to talk to others about the conditions he wants to attach to the sale.

                        I'm glad you're doing so well with your fitness plan! I met my goals for the week, too. I rode the bike once and since it was chilly, used the rowing machine the other two days and did a little strength work, enough to see how far I still have to go! It's a good feeling, though, to at least have started.

                        Good luck with your pony, and hope the hand heals soon.
                        I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                        Comment


                        • Good course of action, Dewey!!! The "he thinks she is worth more than I am offering" made be laugh a bit. As you said, she is green and hasn't even been on a trail ride. That means, to me anyway, she is worth what her current status is. She may have all the potential in the world, but you have to get there.

                          Boy I sure sound cynical today - not intended by any means!
                          And nothing bad happened!

                          Comment


                          • Spacy, You and "the little stinker" are totally cute!!! Sounds like a wonderful thing for both of you!

                            As to my ride on Friday, why I also hate tb's - walked Finn through a gymnastic, poles and a teeny x rail. The first time he was oh so careful. Great. We did some other stuff and I asked him to walk through it again. Anticipate much - I got this mom, hang on I'm speed walkin it this time!

                            I constantly have to mix things up for him or he assumes that just because we picked up the trot HERE last time, we do it again.

                            But, I have learned not to freak out when he does stuff like - I just figure out a way to re-direct his brain so he has to listen to me.
                            And nothing bad happened!

                            Comment


                            • I'm under so much stress. Talked to the owner today...he is a nice man and really wants this to work out. He says the conditions are requests, not demands, but I am just sick with anxiety. I have to let go of this anxiety and stop obsessing. Until I can consult with the B/O and maybe a lawyer, nothing will happen. B/O is out of town. *deep breath*

                              Sorry this post is a bit incoherent. Will keep you posted.
                              I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                              Comment


                              • Sorry for all of your stress Dewey -- I know it must be really hard to have so much uncertainty around something so important. I hope your BO is back soon.

                                If the "extras" are requests and not conditions, then it would seem to me that they would not be included in any contract/bill of sale.

                                And as for the foal, if you know you aren't ever willing to agree to that request (which I totally understand you not wanting to do - I don' tthink I would be willing to do that) then you are doing the right thing to tell him that now.

                                Good luck!
                                Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson

                                Comment


                                • Oh gs=osh- what crazy sale stipulations! I am not sure I could agree to that, especially the foal. Is he paying her vet expenses for a foal, too?


                                  We had a great weekend at the show, but I rode my trainers half-arab. It was such nasty weather - snow flurries, 25 degrees, small baby hail and WIND WIND WIND. it was terrible! So my division started at 8 a.m...... and because it was so nasty, i was the ONLY ONE who showed up for it! They actually still let me show with it just being me, but I felt so darn silly. The announcer came on at the end and said the judge thanked me for being so well turned out and riding so well in the nasty weather, though. And in the middle of my last class, the in-gate lady walked over to my trainer and said what a shame it was that I didn't have any competition, as I was "such a pretty rider" and that I would have won even with competition. That made me feel good- I havne't been able to nicely equitate on my own gelding because he's such an a-hole sometimes.

                                  So, the show made me realize that I could do so much better and develop much more, if only I had a horse that cooperates. I really hate to think I might have to sell JJ, but I am starting to think I should - if the appointment I have for him for Friday doesn't show a pain or saddle fit issue. Yesterday, he even bucked at a WALK, and he had to be kept in for three days straight as he was running around in the pasture pretty much trying to kill another horse. it's like he's bi-polar! Anyway, I had a good cry about it this weekend. I love him so much, but I just am not sure he's the best horse for me if this keeps up.
                                  Blog chronicling our new eventing adventures: Riding With Scissors

                                  Comment


                                  • The owner stated that he wanted her bred "at his expense," with his choice of sire. I asked him to spell out what expenses he was willing to cover in addition to stud fee, such as vet care, supplements, cost to get her in foal. Then I asked, "What if something goes wrong?" I don't think he had taken that into consideration. He could see that I was seriously worried about risking the mare. To his credit, he said he would remove the breeding request from the sales contract.

                                    He is a nice man, very enthusiastic, but with little experience with horses. He has talked about breeding his horses ever since I've known him, and he is very optimistic--always assumes breeding and foaling will be uncomplicated, and the foals will be worth a lot if they are well bred.

                                    I think we will be able to work things out, but I want someone else to help him understand that the clauses he wants to insert into the sales contract are at the very least highly unconventional.

                                    I do feel better than I did last night when I was a basket case.
                                    I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                                    Comment


                                    • Glad you are feeling better, Dewey. I hope all works out!
                                      And nothing bad happened!

                                      Comment


                                      • Thanks! Will keep you posted!
                                        I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                                        Comment


                                        • Dewey, I'm glad you're asking a lot of questions about the owner's conditions. The horse may be quite nice, but there are a lot of nice horses out there, with no strings attached. Breeding is far from simple and safe, even for those with experience. Perhaps you could simply agree that IF you decide to breed this horse, you will contact him and offer him the opportunity to enter into a contract with you AT THAT TIME.
                                          There are green horses with potential coming off the tracks and going through the auctions or CANTER every day. Unless you're an actual breeder, and buying a horse for their outstanding bloodlines, you're not buying for breeding potential, you're buying a riding horse. That needs to remain your first consideration.
                                          Good luck!

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