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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Thanks for those thoughts! I feel like I am beng put on the defensive while riding almost from the get-go, as one of his issues is not wanting to even walk. So I am frustrated from the start of the ride on- ugh. I need to just put on my mental bubble suit and tell him he's not going to win. I have, however, won the battle now of him standing still for mounting and not moving until *I* say it's time to move. I guess if I can win that battle, I can win others over time, right? (Right?!)
    Blog chronicling our new eventing adventures: Riding With Scissors

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Dewey View Post
      " If you want to learn what they have to teach you, then you must let them come and go, "
      Amen! Last year when I first got back into riding and started taking some lessons I became friends with the instructor and would go out several times a week and ride some of the horses with her.

      I loved those guys and learned so much from them! What I learned most of all was to enjoy the differences. Some had a trot for sitting, some for posting, but they were all a blast to ride and I looked forward to learning something new from each of them.

      Comment


      • PH, thanks for the sympathy.

        As for your confidence issues, I don't know what to say. Riding is supposed to be fun, right? Are you having fun? Are your fears just a "blip" in your overall progress, or do you find yourself thinking of excuses not to get on? Is it the weather, do you think? A lot of horses get really feisty in the cold.

        Maybe you could send the horse to a trainer for awhile if money is not an issue. Or take more lessons. At the very least, get yourself a protective vest if you don't already have one. Make sure you're riding in a nice deep saddle.

        How big is he? Personally, I find my confidence on a green horse decreasing in direct proportion to the horse's size. At my age, I just am not comfortable on a greenie much over 16 hands. Last year, I had an argument with a big green warmblood mare over her leads, and she bucked me off. I was angry, got right up, got back on her, and made her mind, but after that I handed her back to the B/O for someone else to work with. I really don't want to end up in the hospital, and I want to enjoy my time at the barn.
        I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

        Comment


        • You can do it!

          Are you able to take a mini-break from the ring and go on long hacks for a little while? Or is he even worse then?

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Dewey View Post
            PH, thanks for the sympathy.

            As for your confidence issues, I don't know what to say. Riding is supposed to be fun, right? Are you having fun? Are your fears just a "blip" in your overall progress, or do you find yourself thinking of excuses not to get on? Is it the weather, do you think? A lot of horses get really feisty in the cold.

            Maybe you could send the horse to a trainer for awhile if money is not an issue. Or take more lessons. At the very least, get yourself a protective vest if you don't already have one. Make sure you're riding in a nice deep saddle.

            How big is he? Personally, I find my confidence on a green horse decreasing in direct proportion to the horse's size. At my age, I just am not comfortable on a greenie much over 16 hands.
            I always get on- I at least manage that I think part of it is just my overall anxiety problem as a person, and not totally about riding, if that makes sense. He's actually on the small side- 15.3 (although I suspect that he's actually 16, but close enough). And funny enough, he did get sent to a trainer for a month last fall, and he did come back improved. We're still working on his a-hole tendencies though Really, for a while, we made HUGE progress for a few months, and now the past couple weeks he's slid back into jerk territory. I don't know what it is, though, that's causing it. Maybe it could be the weather contributing, but it really wasn't too cold this weekend.

            Despite it all, it really has been fun to see him come along, and I know with absolute certainty that he is making me a better, stronger rider. I just need to get over myself. He's still a dillhole for other people, but other people with more confidence and experience are able to better manage it than I can. I need to "channel my inner dominatrix," as the trainer told me when I got him back from her in the fall. LOL.

            (can we count how many names I just called him? I love him- I really do!)
            Blog chronicling our new eventing adventures: Riding With Scissors

            Comment


            • Originally posted by rubygirl1968 View Post
              You can do it!

              Are you able to take a mini-break from the ring and go on long hacks for a little while? Or is he even worse then?
              Honestly, he LOVES trail riding. The last trail ride we went on as a group, he was the best, calmest, non-jigging, non-spooking horse. Even got a controlled, happy canter. But, there's really nowhere to hack where I board, as we are very close to a busy road and nowhere for us to go. We have to trailer of property as a group. Maybe I just need to do better with mental exercises for him in the ring to make him happy.
              Blog chronicling our new eventing adventures: Riding With Scissors

              Comment


              • PaintedHunter -- I totally understand where you are coming from. I am still trying to overcome some residual fear from the bucking incident that left me with a broken collar bone and massive hemotoma on my hip (I still have a numb spot the size of a grapefruit where I hit the ground the hardest) in July of 2010.

                While I was healing said broken collar bone and hip, I got Jane Savoie's "Freedom from Fear" series of CDs. It's not only about "fear," it deals with confidence too. It was very helpful. And I was doing well for a while. Then when Tajar and I started having communication issues in November, it hurt my confidence level and I've fallen apart a little. So, I think I am going to listen to the series again.

                The CDs provide many different machanisms to help you deal with apprehesion/gain confidence, and you can pick and choose the ones that work best for you. I found the visualization exercises helpful, as well as the "positive" thinking and speaking (I definitely need to get back into that!).

                It's not a cheap program, but for me it was worth it.
                Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson

                Comment


                • Painted Hunter - I used to ride a qh pony that knows more about riding and showing than I ever will. However, we did have our issues, and walking was one of them. So, one day I got tired of his jigging when I just wanted him to walk on a loose rein. We would start out at a walk, every time he broke into his jig, I got in two point and made him go all the way around the ring at his jiggy no way you can post this trot. Then come back to the walk and try to make it all the way around. If he broke - off at the trot again. It took better than half and hour one day to get him to understand that a: if I jig, I have to work and b: oh, if I walk we get to stop sooner.

                  Hang in there!
                  And nothing bad happened!

                  Comment


                  • Dewey I'm sorry your daughter is having a difficult time with losing Jack, and Ruby I'm sorry for the loss of your Misty as well. You may think this wouldn't be so hard if you owned them but it's not true. I bought my son his first pony when he was just 5. Just over 3 years ago I got the dreaded phone call that he was colicking. 3 hours of surgery later, 10 days in pony ICU, and I won't admit to how much money, he didn't make it. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to tell my child. We did get a wonderful successor pony that taught both my son and daughter to jump courses. He is now semi-retired, taking care of newbie kids in the riding school, as his arthritis is too bad to jump that much anymore. My daughter struggles with her new pony and cries to ride the older pony, also heartbreaking as a parent. We take the lows with the highs I guess, horse-related and otherwise.

                    PH I understand the anxiety thing. For me, the answer was a new horse. Radical, I know. When I started re-riding, I bought an OTTB that I couldn't handle (ST when I read about your Dublin it was so close to home) I gave her away, and got a 5year old draft cross, steady eddy. Got my confidence up, never bucked, never ran, safe as the day is long. I could ride him once a week or once a month, he didnt care. But...he was nervous to jump. Which made me nervous to jump. And he grew. And grew. And grew. To over 17 hands. Which is way too big for me. Then he got injured and was off for a few months. So I thought i would see what else was around......and now I have my completely made perfect hunter. He knows it all, has done it all, is not afraid, and looks after me when I am afraid. I trade him for looking after him when he is cold, hungry, sad, lonely, or hurt. Without him I could never do half the re-rider things I can do. I have a nice Ariat belt that says "courage is trusting your horse to get you there". Try reading some rider sports psychology books. I lose my brain at shows and completely stop thinking the minute I pass the ingate (horse remembers the job thank goodness). I started reading these books so as not to completely mortify my trainer yet again this year, they deal really well with a lot of our brain issues.

                    I went to the chiropractor today, starting to feel better. Hopefully I can join in the fitness group in a few days.

                    Sorry for the ridiculously long post, haven't had anyone to talk to that understands for a long time....

                    Comment


                    • You are so right, Hazel. I know that it would be so much worse to lose Jack to colic than to a new owner, and don't think I haven't thought of that. The fact that I can't deal with a catastrophic illness is part of the reason I don't own (that, and the monthly board!). I lost my first pony to colic. She was old, but it was still traumatic, and I don't think I'll ever forget that day. I'm so sorry your son had to deal with that emotional trauma.
                      I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                      Comment


                      • Thanks Dewey. I wasn't trying to say that losing them one way was worse than the other, just that it's hard however we lose them, owned, leased, co-boarded, or just walking by them every day. I'm sure you and your daughter are hurting all the same hurt as we did, and continue to. I try to be grateful for everything that pony gave us, and for everything our new pony and all the horses that come through our lives have taught us. Someone very wise once told me "when the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the lesson is learned, the teacher moves on". When we accept them into our lives, we open ourselves up to the highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows. We need to accept and be grateful for both I think.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by HazelG View Post
                          Thanks Dewey. I wasn't trying to say that losing them one way was worse than the other, just that it's hard however we lose them, owned, leased, co-boarded, or just walking by them every day. I'm sure you and your daughter are hurting all the same hurt as we did, and continue to. I try to be grateful for everything that pony gave us, and for everything our new pony and all the horses that come through our lives have taught us. Someone very wise once told me "when the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the lesson is learned, the teacher moves on". When we accept them into our lives, we open ourselves up to the highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows. We need to accept and be grateful for both I think.
                          YOU are a wise woman.
                          I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                          Comment


                          • Sorry to Dewey and anyone else losing a good pal this week...it's always tough

                            My lease ends in June (might get to continue but it's up in the air) and while my favorite little New Zealand by way of Virginia guy will stay at the barn, he won't be 'mine' to have anymore. You form such a partnership with a horse, it's something no one else understands. Hugs from DC!

                            Fitness goals for the week:
                            -ride 3x (one training session in there)
                            -realistic goal of working out three days (exercise bike/yoga/weights)

                            Only ONE happy hour and bringing lunch from home.

                            Someone mentioned Weight Watchers I think....it's the best thing I've ever done. You don't feel like you're dieting and most important, it's SUSTAINABLE.

                            I hope everyone has a better week with good riding weather!
                            recovering hunter rider turned eventer

                            Comment


                            • WIExpat, thanks for the good thoughts.

                              I have thought about Weight Watchers for some time and understand the basic system. I understand that there is an online version now. Do you mind telling me how much it costs?
                              I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                              Comment


                              • So I rode a bit last night - just trotted, as the small arena we have with lighting is really uneven right now, and my boy stumbles in there- didn't want to canter. This time, he did everything i asked of him and mostly without question- but he still had ears pinned, acted like he wanted to buck (but he didn't), threw his head up a few times and tried to turn around and bite my right boot whlie trotting twice. I don't know.... I think something might be off with him. Maybe the saddle isn't fitting right anymore and it's hurting him? the past few months I've been using a neck stretcher to lunge him in to help build his topline. Maybe he's gained muscle thta's causing an ill-fitting saddle? I don't know what else to check, since the chiro didn't find any pain issues on his last visit. No swollen, hot joints. Any suggestions?
                                Blog chronicling our new eventing adventures: Riding With Scissors

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster

                                  I would check the saddle fit, here's how i've done it. Find a really thin white cloth, cheesecloth or something similar works very well. Leave pony dirty and tack up. If you can manage to break a sweat, all the better to get the sweat pattern. After your ride take a look at your white cloth. There should be even wear on both sides and a blank line down the middle. If there are any "dry" spots, you know you have some issues with fit.

                                  Comment


                                  • Originally posted by Dewey View Post
                                    WIExpat, thanks for the good thoughts.

                                    I have thought about Weight Watchers for some time and understand the basic system. I understand that there is an online version now. Do you mind telling me how much it costs?
                                    I am paying $12.95 a month for the online version.
                                    Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson

                                    Comment


                                    • Hi! I'm finally ready to post here (instead of just reading/lurking). My name is Janie. I am returning to riding after a long time off. I rode dressage in my early 20s, sold everything horse related in my 30s, and am now returning in my 40s. My ten year old daughter has finally shown interest in horses and has now had her second riding lesson. And I will be riding with her next weekend. The trainer starts everyone off on bareback. I'm glad for that as I need to get my seat back.

                                      We have a six year old Morgan mare at home. She is my green bean. She was broke as a two year old, sold and went on to do nothing for three years, then had a baby. I got her four months ago. I'm starting her out as if she know nothing to find holes in her training. She is coming along nicely.

                                      To join the fitness conversation, I am a personal trainer, but I also have a six month old daughter. The baby weight is slowly coming back off. I'm a little nervous about how sore I will be after Saturday.

                                      Comment


                                      • Welcome, janiemerle! I'm glad you decided to stop lurking.

                                        ==

                                        I overslept on Monday, but that was OK as my trainer had sent me a text 45 minutes before I woke up, saying she was sick. So, it worked out. And right now, tomorrow's lesson with Trainer No. 2 is up in the air, as the guy I ride got some sort of new shoeing done and he's a bit sore atm.

                                        Things are going slowly here, but I'm sure things will start moving again soon enough. It's probably a good thing I now have 2 places to ride, since I've only been able to ride both lessons in the same week once since the new year.

                                        Speaking of, if I make it out to my lesson tomorrow, I have every intention of talking up my trainer about the guy she wants me to lease. Shoes, supplements, special feed/hay, vet/medical costs, if she wants insurance, etc.

                                        If nothing else, CoTH has made me SUPER aware of what to look for/ask for/think about in leases.
                                        The dude abides ...

                                        Comment


                                        • Dewey, you can either do 3 months for about $50, or $12.95/month. I only did the three month deal, really only needed that long to kind of figure out the system. I would highly, highly recommend it. Though I am no longer entering points, I have the knowledge now to know how and what to eat.

                                          I'm a Midwesterner, so leaving food on my plate was a sin growing up. WW helps you to determine portion size (we're all eating WAY more cereal in the morning than we think we are!) and how to fill up on good things v. bad stuff. And, it's ok if you sometimes need a cheeseburger. We all do. It just really helps to learn to eat in a newer and healthier way.

                                          I hope everyone is enjoying lovely and warm riding weather this week, wherever you are!
                                          recovering hunter rider turned eventer

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