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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Originally posted by Button View Post
    I think it was more, I condensed it down for brevity. There was a part about going and doing dressage instead, and if you're here then you're here to jump. Stuff about not being allowed to progress backward just because I had a fall. It felt like some kind of watershed moment.
    Well, that does sound different and maybe even a bit unkind. Was he having a bad day? Does he normally say things like that to you? It's not easy getting over a fall - I sure wouldn't appreciate that kind of "support". There's a time and place for tough love, but I think that was uncalled for, esp since you had soldiered on and completed the course again . . . that calls for congrats and a pat on the back

    "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy


    • Talking to a lady at the barn. Mentioned going to a show. She says "oh you must be good. You probably win all the time!" Assuming she assumed this bc I'm 35 and obviously know what I'm doing right? Yeah right! I said "heck no! I'm a rerider on a green ottb" she replies "rerider haha what is that like a retard?" Uh yeah kinda.


      • Originally posted by Ruby2shoes View Post
        Talking to a lady at the barn. Mentioned going to a show. She says "oh you must be good. You probably win all the time!" Assuming she assumed this bc I'm 35 and obviously know what I'm doing right? Yeah right! I said "heck no! I'm a rerider on a green ottb" she replies "rerider haha what is that like a retard?" Uh yeah kinda.
        Aw..that was not a very nice comment!
        “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
        ¯ Oscar Wilde


        • I haven't been checking in, but I have been reading!
          I am going to my first show tomorrow-just a small schooling show-but it's my first since my jumper died. I will probably just show in the adult amateurs and the modified. If I get brave I may try the medal, but all those good juniors ride I'm not as long and lean as I want to be! I am excited!
          Oh, I am leasing a wonderful hunter mare. She is coming to me from Virginia. She is a Pre Green horse this year, so I am excited to get her. She will be down the end of this month.


          • I haven't checked in for awhile-- new barn is working out great. Trainer is riding him and he's improving and I'm getting more confident in him. I took him out hacking on wednesday and he was super. I really like this horse

            I'm now in the throes of buying a trailer. I had settled on one model, that I'd need to buy brand new. I really WANT to buy brand new, but it's a lot of $$. I just found a used one similar to what I want, but it doesn't have windows in the curtain doors and I really like the airflow that comes from being able to open both the side windows and the rear door windows to get the crossflow. So I am sort of stuck between paying about $4k more for a brand new trailer, or continuing to try to hunt down one I like that's used, saving $4k but having to deal with inspections, repairs, etc on something that has been rusting for a decade.
            Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
            you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.


            • MS - good luck and congrats on your new lease mare!

              soloud - great news about the new barn and horse - hope all continues to go well. As far as the trailer goes - sounds to me like $4k is a small price to pay for the piece of mind having a brand new trailer will bring - not to mention then you will have exactly what you want!

              "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy


              • Originally posted by ParadoxFarm View Post
                Aw..that was not a very nice comment!
                I couldn't agree more!

                "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy


                • Tiger - It was a five minute lecture, and then I did the course again having decided to soldier on, and then I was done. That's the part that made me feel like it was some kind of test, like he wanted to see if I would dig in and do it just one more time. He is a tough love sort of guy though. I appreciate your pat on the back though, I was pretty proud of myself.

                  Ruby - what the hell! Not cool barn lady, not cool.

                  MSHunter13 - I would love to see pics when she arrives!

                  soloud - I wish I could offer trailer advise, but I'm useless in that regard. I'm glad you like your new place and trainer though, there's no feeling that can match being confident and relaxed on a horse.


                  • Button - you have every right to be very proud of yourself! You go girl!

                    "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy


                    • I guess I really fit in here. 6 kids at ages 2 and 2, 7 and 7, 10 and 12. 3 horses pony at 3 yrs ( wanted to polish her off myself and have he be a true kids horse. She's doing beautifully.) rescue qh with stifle surgery recovery and ottb as my personal project. Full time job wonderful hubby. Busy doesn't even start to describe my life and I wouldn't trade any of it for nothin. Rode from age 5 to 16 when rents divorced and horses went with it. Rode sporadically after whenever I could afford a lesson then kids and now I'm back 15 yrs later. Don't take it for granted now. The horses keep me sane. Give me my own passion and I just think that's a good thing for kids to see. That mom has a passion for something and is not just mom or wife. I want them all to find their own passion in life whether its horses or other. To all the many ppl who think I'm nuts or neglect my kids, you just don't get it. The horses add positively to my relationship with my kids.


                      • Wow I have a lot to catch up on!! Hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend.

                        Well the kid that is 1/2 leasing Jack took him to an event yesterday with my trainer and some other boarders. They did well he came in 3rd overall with a dressage score of 31.5. Which is great. I couldn't go with them since I am having car troubles.

                        I get a text after they were finished how thrilled she was and how great Jack was yada, yada.

                        The around 7pm I get the dreaded call from my trainer. Jack is colicing badly. He is currently down and they are unable to get him up. UGH. Vet is called and I scramble around to get a hold of a running car. I finally get to the barn and he is up and had been oiled and what not. The vet thinks he may have an underlying issue either a severe vit E problem, some kind of GI issue or EPM. She thinks there is something else going on that he keeps doing this. He also took forever to come around after his last episode. We all discussed our concerns with his lack of hind end strength and muscling. He is in training and gets ridden and gets conditioning rides 5-6 days a week. He is turned out 8-10 hours a day with a herd in a big field. He is not lame but seems stiff and or weak while in a ring. In a field or out on the trails he looks great. He also has a roar that I haven't looked into since it doesn't seem to bother him at this point.

                        UGH what am I to do with this beast???? He didn't get the memo that I lost my job back in Feb and funds are very limited.

                        He is better today and passed some of the oil so my trainer is going to give him a little bit of soaked hay tonight.

                        The vet also mentioned that he should go on senior feed, bran mashes for any kind of weather changes, schedule changes and possibly live out. Right now my trainer is full on her pasture board but if it comes to it we will figure something out. He is a 9 yr old OTTB who I have known since he was 3. He never had these issues and certainly didn't get the level of care he gets now that I own him.

                        My poor trainer who was up and out showing since like 4am and finally left the barn last night around 10pm. She must have been exhausted!!!! She had 8 horses at the event yesterday. 2 of which she competed. ( her 4 yr old OTTB came in 1st!!! )

                        I see huge vet bills in my future...........


                        • I had a tough lesson on Friday. I'd done something to disappoint my trainer outside of the lesson and she was in a bad mood (I found this out afterwards). I am a very sensitive rider and trainers need to be careful in how they approach me, but this time, she wasn't very careful and I ended up crying in the porta-potty after my lesson for awhile. I never cry.

                          I was riding a horse I hadn't ridden in a bit over a week and I forgot that he fell to the inside. Throughout the lesson she pointed out all of my mistakes, and it seemed like I was making more than usual. We're cantering and I have trouble taking off because he fell to the inside and changed leads. I'm attempting to hold him on the correct lead but he kept falling in and changing back. At some point she was exasperated and yelling at me to leg him (which I was doing so that didn't help me). In the moment I was so stunned by the repeated criticism that I wasn't using my head; I know perfectly well how to solve the issue of a horse falling to the inside at the canter. I took a breather and asked her what I was doing wrong, and got met with this:

                          "I don't know, nobody else has that problem on him."

                          She turned to another rider in my lesson and asked her what she did, and she describes an entire warm-up routine involving leg yields. She does not look at me again.

                          I finally took a breather at the trot, tuned out my trainer, cleared my head and started cantering again. I was perfect. He no longer fell in and had the correct lead the whole time. My trainer didn't say anything. We went on to jumps. Again, no problem with leads. The other riders in the lesson kept talking about how well I was doing and how I did really good over the fences. I did not however get a single compliment from my trainer (other people did).

                          I found out after the lessons that she had been disappointed with how slow I'd been working during the day (I work in exchange for lessons) and she was not happy with a mistake I'd made the day before. We had a chat about it and I will fix those problems. But overall I am very apprehensive about my next lesson on Tuesday.

                          I know it sounds silly. I know she was just upset. But I can't stop living in fear that now I'm a bad rider and I must have messed up so bad and what if I never get to ride that horse again? I am mulling over all the mistakes I made during my ride. I was thinking of telling her that I just won't take the next lesson until I earn it by working better. I want to ride so badly, more than anything and the thought of not riding is physically painful to me (especially since, due to memorial day I'm only riding twice this week instead of 3x). But what if I have another bad lesson?

                          I sound nuts here and I'm sorry. I care a lot about my riding and hate the thought of another lesson where I don't learn anything out of it. They say it takes 10,000 hours in the saddle to become proficient and I don't want to waste one second of it. I want to be incredible so that when my horse is old enough to be ridden I can get on her and do most of her training rides. Will I ever get there?


                          • We had an unusual, but effective, lesson yesterday. For some reason I was the only person that showed up for the group lesson. I almost didn't because my back was hurting a lot (we gotta find out why and how to fix it) but I got on, and asked my trainer to work on quality, not quantity. So we did some great flat work for a few minutes. Then we trotted a few jumps in the warmup area. Next, she told me to go into the main ring, and jump a course, as if we were in a show. That's a bit different mentally from a lesson. Eight perfect fences later, the lesson was over.
                            It's 2017. Do you know where your old horse is?

                            www.streamhorsetv.com -- website with horse show livestream listings and links.


                            • Ladyfreckles your trainer was out of line, immature and dare I say bullying you. If she had an issue with something she did or did not do outside of your lesson, she needed to discuss it with you directly and honestly so that you were aware of her concerns and able to modify your behavior. It is not appropriate for her to persistently criticize or ignore you in a lesson. That is passive-aggressive behaviour and you are both adults. You do not take lessons to be demoralized in front of other students, regardless of how you pay for them. Just my humble opinion.

                              Good for you Pony4me!

                              SuperD jingles for Jack. I just detest colic. Keep us posted on how he's doing.


                              • SuperD - ugh - so sorry for the whole situation! It's hard to see our critters NQR and our efforts at resolving it fall short somehow. Yeah, what HazelG said: JINGLES!!

                                Ladyfreckles - I'm thinking you might need a new situation. I have someone who has been working off her board. She has had a SWEET deal. She will be paying board starting June 1. Our work ethics are different & I'm just not okay with how she's handling things...that said, she's been given loads of instruction on "my way" and every opp to shift things up, but doesn't. I started feeling some strong animosity for her which bothered ME b/c I love this kid (she's 18). So we changed the arrangement. Now we're all happy. Not saying you fall into the same situation as mine, just that changing the situation can be very beneficial. HOWEVER - she shouldn't have been rude, tacky, and unprofessional in the ring. Your post sounds like you are a sensitive sort...her "teaching" doesn't seem like a good fit if this is SOP for her. So sorry your time on the horse was marred with the stress of what happened!

                                pony4me - how's the TWH doing? Is he staying w/you or headed to another farm? Kudos to you for helping him out!! I'm headed in for an MRI this morning due to back issues. The ONLY thing that doesn't make it hurt is riding...everything else seems to exacerbate whatever's going on. I see lots of yoga in my future...and hopefully some meds in the short term as OTC stuff isn't making ANY difference.

                                So I submitted my deposit and registration for Dressage Boot Camp at Fellowship Farm (Tami Batts) yesterday. No turning back, I guess. The Amazon & I will hopefully have a good weekend (last wkend in June) and best of all, there are NO alpacas!! Until then, we working, working, working...

                                Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!! BTW - anyone hear anything from Dewey lately???


                                • Sorry I haven't been posting lately. I had a bad end of the semester; my grading had really piled up (mostly my own fault), and I had to pull some all-nighters to get it all done. More to the point, I have been having family problems involving both kids. I won't go into too many details here, but I will say our son, aged 23, is living with us for the time being. We just brought him home a couple of weeks ago. Meanwhile DD has decided to drop out of school and isn't sure whether she is coming home for the summer or not. A friend at the barn told me that "having children is like getting pecked to death by a duck"; that is how I feel right now!

                                  I am not teaching this summer but have agreed to do a curriculum development project for pay. I have done zero work on this--it's due June 15. Meanwhile we are getting new kitchen counters, which was supposed to be something to look forward to but which instead has turned into more stress. DH and I are not the most organized housekeepers to begin with, and with son's stuff all over the place, I feel I am not ready to let the counter people into the house yet.

                                  Oh, yes. Sky is fine. As usual, she is my stress relief and my therapy. Our show last month was cancelled because of low entries; we have another this weekend (June 1). We'll see if that happens. I wanted to ride more this summer, but so far it has been less because of the problems around here. I did make it out on Sunday afternoon. I rode Sky and a greenie.

                                  The greenie is one that has been around for a year and has gotten no consistent work. I always liked him and wanted to work with him and was hoping that this summer would be the time. Unfortunately, BO has decided he's not going to work out as a school horse, and she wants to get rid of him. If I have time to ride extra horses, there are others she would prefer I ride. But I really like the little fellow she has written off. It's too bad. He's a cute little guy, about 15 hands, sound and sweet. His problem is that he is a bit of a nervous type who rushes, especially at the trot. You can see why he is not a good school horse candidate. He needs a calm, experienced rider, and I feel that anyone who worked with him consistently would end up with a nice horse. He loves to jump. Well, maybe I can sneak in some more rides on him. I can't see anyone rushing to buy him right now.
                                  Last edited by Dewey; May. 28, 2013, 08:42 AM.
                                  I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                                  • Oh, Dewey - so sorry...I was one of those kids who put more grey hairs on my parents' heads that one 10 people should have. It will iron out...some of us youngins just take longer (A LOT in my case!) to get it together. Hugs to you and hoping you're getting some ride time in. Being in the barn with my horses is my "church time." Fixes everything at least while I'm in there.


                                    • Color me shocked...

                                      Trainer friend thought it would be a good idea to take my baby to a rated show this past weekend so she could get a feel of the atmosphere and scary jumps (since we've yet to find her a scary fence yay!)

                                      Anyhow I haven't been to a rated show in probably at least 7 yrs. So I was going in kind of blind but we thought the little cross rail pleasure division we planned on doing was an opportunity division. Wrong. It would have cost me over $200 with member fees or paying non member fees to show over x rails against just the one other entry in the division. Needless to say I didn't show. Hacked around the grounds and in the schooling areas and called it a day.

                                      When did things get so expensive? I didn't think I'd been away that long...


                                      • superD - Congrats on the show - I hope Jack is feeling much better. A pony at our barn coliced Friday night (I was not there, but from what I heard the whole situation was quite the fiasco - angry vet, pushy boarders - it was ugly) all is well now, but colic is just so scary.

                                        ladyfreckles - I agree with HazelG - trainer was totally out of line. I think we all tend to dwell on our mistakes (I know I do!). The key is learn from them and keep trying - you will get there!

                                        pony4me - congrats on the great lesson!

                                        Finzean - good for you - we'll need a full report.

                                        Dewey - hang in there - as the mother of a 20 year old college student, I can relate. Having kids is not for the faint of heart! But, from what I've seen, it does all iron out in the end . . . sounds like you had a productive day at the barn!

                                        Rebels_Princess - I only show at schooling shows and that's expensive enough for me!

                                        Speaking of which - after a great lesson on Sunday - that included jumping logs out in our pasture - my trainer has talked me into doing a mini event on June 9!
                                        I'd better dig out that dressage test again . . .

                                        "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy


                                        • Dewey, so sorry that things are tough with your kids right now. So many young adults go through tough phases, though, and I am sure they will pull through. I wish you the best! Amp up your barn time for therapy

                                          Ollie and I had an AMAZING show this past weekend. it's the best he has ever been at a show, and he LISTENED and didn't get rushy and stupid. He didn't pull any antics like trying to run out the in-gate or doing first-jump drive-bys. I am SO PROUD of him. We even got a 2nd and 3rd over fences in the baby greens, and we were showing against some trainers and very fancy babies that were undoubtedly 5X or more the cost of him I was proud he held his own in there. We did long stirrup too, and he did great there too, but he started getting tired and a bit careless, so we pulled a rail in one class. But I couldn't be happier with how the day went. Two photos:


                                          Blog chronicling our new eventing adventures: Riding With Scissors