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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Welcome back, dreaminOTTB. Yeah, we're a chatty group!
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ¯ Oscar Wilde


    • Welcome back, dreamin!!
      I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


      • Dewey: although my mare will spook at home, at shows she is 100% solid. (I've likely jinxed myself now.)

        I've put Iris in half training for this month. That's 2 training rides and 1 lesson. Looking forward to seeing how it goes.

        Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behaviour does.


        • Thanks, everyone! It's nice to be back!

          I've been busy with work and (of course) working with the horse. Our plan is do our first Starter level event this summer. Our biggest hurdle at the moment is transportation. I don't own a truck/trailer and usually go with other people. One of my friend's truck is now out of commission and since that was my usual "go to" trailer," transportation options have gotten pretty limited. I really want to get out there and show!

          Paradox - are you headed to the Columbus, OH Equine Affaire? I've looking forward to going there again this year!


          • NJR, that's encouraging. I have decided my goal this show season is just to give Sky experience, just let her see new places and help her see that other places will not kill her. (I also hope the experience will not kill me! )

            Good luck with the new program. Keep us posted!

            dreamin', I don't have a trailer either. Good luck with the event. I would love to do something like that, but Sky isn't very brave, so we'll stick with staying in the ring. I'll tell you what--my dream is to go on a hunter pace. Maybe in a year or two!
            I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


            • Argh! And I fell off AGAIN last night. He spooked in the same spot as last week, and again, it wasn't his normal spook - it was a spook and spin this time.

              I'm not sure how I'm feeling. Part of me thinks that I need to just keep riding him because that's what a rider does, but the other part is like "You do this for fun. Being anxious about what might happen with this specific horse is NOT fun. You're not trying to be a professional - stop riding him."

              However, all the other schoolies are ponies. And I don't really want to leave my barn because my instructor is great. But I don't think I want to ride him any more. I'm not the bravest rider and have a lot of confidence issues, and I can see that I'm at the point where one more thing will really do my little confidence in and it'll take years to get it back.



              • Trying to catch up – man this is an active group! I hope I don’t forget anyone!

                Thanks for the suggestions on what to do for my friend since she is so kind as to volunteer to put 30 days on Rose. I haven’t decided for sure yet, but now I have some great ideas!

                Event4Life – Congrats on the great lessons! It feels *amazing* to improve, doesn’t it? How awesome it must feel to know that you’re finally getting a handle on the jumping ahead. Sounds like you’re doing quite well with this trainer – congrats! And keep having fun!

                Tiger – I’m glad you found a great bit for jumping Dodger! Sometimes the bit really does make all the difference.

                MillysGirl – You are spot on saying that it takes the *right* instructor to help get your confidence back with lessons. I’m trying to look into riding instructors right now and I just hope I can find one that I click with and trust.

                HazelG – 5 weeks until the first show? Boy, that weather is not cooperating! Best of luck – you’ll have to keep us posted!

                ParadoxFarm – Horse shopping can be *so* frustrating, especially when you already have a super great horse to compare the others to (ask me how I know! lol). I really feel for you. But, the right horse will come along at the right time. Hopefully it’s this Thoroughbred and your search will soon come to an end. But if it isn’t the right horse, then just keep on looking. It’ll show up for you, I promise. ….If all that is wrong with Chico is that he needs shoes to protect his soles, then you’re lucky. It could’ve been so many other, much worse things. I used to have to keep front shoes on Gabriel when I was doing lessons on him so he wouldn’t get foot sore…. Now, as far as your ankle, I’m sending you healing vibes and hoping it’s nothing bad. In the meantime, don’t be afraid to wrap the ankle, or do whatever you have to do to protect it a little. Let us know how the doctor’s visit goes.

                Also, thanks you so much for sharing your story about the Dutch mare. Actually, your story speaks to me in relation to Velvet instead of Rose – I’ve had Velvet for about 4 years now. She’s a great horse, very strong and athletic, but she’s also a sensitive and kind of reactive horse. It’s so odd – you know, there are days when I ride her and she’s *fantastic* and things that I think are going to spook her, she doesn’t blink an eye at. Then there are other days when she’s just so sensitive that silly little things make her react, much like you with blowing your bangs out of your eyes. I recognized about 2 years ago that she might be too much horse for me in that way, so I put her up for sale then. But the market was SO awful that I couldn’t sell her. One “buyer” wanted me to give her away to them, which I refused to do. She could be a fantastic show horse for someone who’s just more confident than I am. Now, 2 years later, I’m back to the point yet again that I want to sell her. I feel like that in itself speaks volumes, because I am *not* someone who gives up on their critters.

                Finzean – Wow, the Amazon is a one of those that vaporizes and reappears somewhere else, huh? lol I’ve known a few like that. It sounds like she really is a great mount, though, and a sweet character. Don’t worry about your core – I image it’ll get strong pretty quickly as you’re riding more.

                RolyPolyPony – I am SO sorry you fell off last night. Would your instructor be willing to ride this horse before you get on next lesson to be sure it’s not going to spook at that spot? Sometimes my confidence is boosted when I see someone else ride my horse through whatever it is that's scaring her/me. Or, perhaps this is one of those things where other options should be explored. I would really hate to see you lose your confidence like I have. Part of find a lesson program that’s the right fit is clicking with the instructor, but another big part of it is having horses that you are able to trust and click with. That’s what lessoning for people like you and I are about – being able to focus on *our* riding and improving ourselves without having to worry about what the horse may do. Sounds like this horse, though a great mount in some ways, is not exactly a confidence-builder. Is finding a horse to lease an option for you at all? You may be able to find a fantastic lease horse and continue lessoning with the same instructor. ...I’m not sure what to recommend, but I wish you the best of luck in working this all out.

                Bumknees – Yay!!! Have a great time at your lesson! Don’t get discouraged if your body isn’t where it used to be – that’s ok! We all go through it to some extent or another. Most importantly of all, enjoy your time with Toby.

                NJR – Good luck with Iris! Let us know how it goes.


                Thanks to everyone who gave advice to me regarding lessons and/or selling the mares. I am beginning the process of looking for a riding instructor. Hopefully I can find someone in my area that I can lesson with regularly who I click with and can trust. My friend’s old riding instructor is coming up on Saturday. I’m welcome to just watch, or to lesson with him if I want. From what she’s told me, it sounds like he can sometimes be pretty rough with the yelling and what-not, which is not my style. So, I may or may not lesson with him. But even if I did, he lives too far away to be a regular instructor for me. So, the search is on.

                I want to give myself a couple more rides on Velvet to see whether I can feel even halfway safe on her again, but as mentioned above, I kind of feel like this is it. You know, I’ve had bad days with Gabriel and *never once* did I want to sell him. Even on his worst days, I’d put him back in the field saying, “You were a real a$$ today, but I love you. See you tomorrow.” With Velvet, I just feel completely defeated and ready to wave the white flag.
                ~*~*~*~Founding member of the Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique~*~*~*~

                The equine love of my life: Gabriel
                4/6/1993 - 8/23/2015 ...RIP my big, beautiful boy <3


                • Thought I'd take a peek back as well. Been kind of a crummy winter dontchaknow, so all those plans to do spectacularly in maintaining through the winter, and then getting started early on working in the spring went right out the door!

                  So enjoying everyone's posts, but won't respond individually as I need to get out the door.

                  Just glad to see the same spirit here. I'd only checked in at the barn the past 10 days without riding - had at least kept up twice a week, then got on last night - ok, spring IS here.

                  But just love riding and horses so. When I check back here, know I'm with like minded friends. And yes, it can wax and wane with real life, and real life's pulls and situations.

                  But good to read everyone's stories. Happy spring riding!
                  But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson


                  • Paradox....LOL at "somewhat on the way"....how many times have I been down "that road" - take a snack!

                    CR - the core is getting stronger as the Amazon likes a deep & wide ride, hold yourself up & back and whatever you do don't start creeping up her neck or leaning forward! It's interpreted as a request for an unauthorized dismount!! Hahaha


                    • I don't have time to respond to everyone, but Roly sorry to hear about your fall - that was me a few weeks ago. I hadn't hit the dirt in quite awhile and then came off twice in one week - same thing too - spook in the same place both times. Had me pretty wigged out, then figured out I was so worried about my position, had just started hunt seat again, that I was forgetting to ride! So hard not to get tense in that same area, took a few rides and some humming to work thru that. Maybe you could do some groundwork in the problem spot?

                      Had an OK ride on Tues night, switched bits and what a difference. Got my thinking cap on and decided to try something outside the box. Dodger works so much better when a curb chain is used - so, I rigged up the figure 8 (which he seems to prefer) with a loose ring double jointed happy mouth bit and added a curb strap. He was brilliant, just like the Pelham. My trainer asked what I'd done, took a look and wondered outloud if I could show using this! We'll see how he goes tonight.

                      "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy


                      • dreaminOTTB, good luck with your show/trial schedule! That's exciting. Hopefully your ride will turn up. And YES, going to Columbus for EA! Are you going??

                        RolyPolyPony, sorry for your fall. Maybe this is just me, but sometimes I think a break from that certain horse is good. Get on another safe sane mount. That's all that helped me when I fell off my mare twice. If you can talk yourself into getting back on, great. But if you don't feel confident, the horse may feel it and it is not always a good match. Not to say you won't want to get on later. But if you don't feel it, don't feel bad about your decision. Like I've mentioned here a few times, I had to take lessons on really safe school horses after my falls. And then I bought a QH who was a saint. Then I found Chico and we've been great ever since. Take your time deciding what you need to do.

                        Classy, I totally hear you. And I sometimes feel guilty when I tell people that sometimes it actually IS better to move on. I don't want to tell people to quit, but I am just thinking of my own experience. I just knew that horse was not going to be right for me. I did send her to training for 30 days and took my lessons on her last summer. But she never did feel quite right for me. Then we brought her home and she reared (in a spook) with my husband and flipped over. From then on I knew I didn't need that. I just can't enjoy riding if I'm constantly on my toes so to speak. Sold her and the new owner is going to breed her. (not sure that is a good idea or bad, but we were upfront with her regarding her reactiveness and rearing.) But I guess what I'm saying is that if you DO decide to sell either of the horses, do NOT feel guilty about it. If that ends up being your decision, be happy that you are doing what is right for you, and in the long run, what is right for your horses (whatever that may be!). Good luck with it. Maybe things will turn around and you will find them easier to deal with and work with. If not, it's okay. Find something you LOVE to work with. Every time I handle Chico, I can't help but say, I love this horse. And I'll be honest, it's been YEARS since I've said that about any horse. Maybe that's why I'm having trouble finding another one!

                        CVPeg, good to see you checking in!

                        Finzean, I guess somewhat on the way makes me feel better, haha!!

                        TigerHorse, awesome on the bit discovery! I think I need to put a curb chain on my elevator bit when I'm jumping. Sometimes Chico gets strong between fences. He's funny, on corners, if I'm not keeping on him he will trot. But when I take a line, look out! We would NOT do well in the hunter ring!


                        Hey, all, the trainer and owner of the TB and I have agreed on a price range! Yay! So we will look at her on the 14th when we are on our way back from EA in OH. Wish us luck. She seems really nice. Fingers are definitely crossed.

                        Well, since I took video of the Appendix we tried out, I may as well post it here. The clips are out of order. I did it wrong. The first rider is my trainer and the second rider is my husband. My husband rode first, and she was jiggy. And that part where she's acting really stupid, turns out she flipped the bit over in her mouth. Not sure how you do it, but once fixed she was okay again. Weird. Then the trainer rode her and she was good for him. But he's a professional, and makes it look SO easy. Plus she was a little more tired by then. haha. But we passing on her and still looking, as you know. No video of me, though. No one took video while I was riding. It was raining out, and miserable. But don't the trees look pretty?? Spring is definitely coming!

                        “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                        ¯ Oscar Wilde


                        • https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=3&theater
                          A pic of my wonderful boys. I will catch up with everyones post later!!
                          Last edited by superD; Apr. 4, 2013, 03:39 PM. Reason: fixed link


                          • Shoot, superD, I couldn't see the pic. (Not on FB.)
                            “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                            ¯ Oscar Wilde


                            • yeah, I can't see the picture either, SuperD. I think you have to change the settings to public, or something.

                              Paradox, good luck with your TB. I hope it works out! I watched the video of the Appendix mare. She looked really cute and pretty well-schooled, too, although I only saw one clean change. She was kind of a brat with your DH, and I couldn't figure out quite why as it looked as if he was giving her plenty of room to go forward and was not interfering with her. Who knows?

                              RolyPP--so sorry about your fall! Do not push yourself to do anything you don't want to do. Losing your confidence will spoil riding for you. Keep us posted.

                              Welcome back, CVPeg! Wow, it's been Old Home Week with you, dreaminOTTB, and Opus all showing up! I love it.
                              I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                              • I just had a great lesson last night! I haven't been jumping too high on most the horses, usually 2'3 because my nerves get me, but last night was doing 2'6 courses and it was amazing! I absolutely love my instructors horse Popeye. He is such a great horse to learn on and I was able to think more about my corners and approaches than the actual jumping. I really need to work on popping down too quick on the backside of the jump, but other than that it was awesome. I even had another rider in my lesson tell me that is the best she has seen me ride. I don't think she understands how much that meant to me. Now if only I could be so confident on some of the other horses at the barn.


                                • Vetting passed-- welcome to the family, new horse!

                                  Already sent $300 to the Rambo sale...and $200 to smartpak...and getting ready to write some more checks at the Cheshire Horse sale this weekend...
                                  Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
                                  you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.


                                  • soloudinhere, AWESOME! Happy for you. Easy to spend on the new critters, isn't it!?

                                    rockonxox, sounds like a fun lesson. It does mean a lot to be able to trust a horse enough so that you can actually work on yourself without worrying about the horse. Good for you.

                                    Dewey, yeah, I agree, DH was riding with pretty light contact. I think Appendix was just out of shape and grumpy about it. She rode fairly well for me, but I was the last rider. I think if it was just the riding part that was off, I would be okay about it. But then adding to the navicular changes and injections and special shoes and adequan and hoof supps, I just thought that was too much for me. Who knows, I may be passing up a nice horse. I mean, she IS a nice horse, but just not the right fit for me at this time I guess!
                                    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                                    ¯ Oscar Wilde


                                    • Originally posted by ParadoxFarm View Post
                                      soloudinhere, AWESOME! Happy for you. Easy to spend on the new critters, isn't it!?

                                      rockonxox, sounds like a fun lesson. It does mean a lot to be able to trust a horse enough so that you can actually work on yourself without worrying about the horse. Good for you.

                                      Dewey, yeah, I agree, DH was riding with pretty light contact. I think Appendix was just out of shape and grumpy about it. She rode fairly well for me, but I was the last rider. I think if it was just the riding part that was off, I would be okay about it. But then adding to the navicular changes and injections and special shoes and adequan and hoof supps, I just thought that was too much for me. Who knows, I may be passing up a nice horse. I mean, she IS a nice horse, but just not the right fit for me at this time I guess!
                                      Hey, I no longer "do" extensive maintenance in a horse.

                                      I'm fine with maybe bar shoes instead of regular, and maybe some corta flex. That's normal. I'll even go so far as to do hocks occasionally for an older horse. I'll feed the best grain possible and I'll even throw some supplements in there.

                                      But one who needs every joint back of the withers injected, a massage therapist, magnetic blanket, etc to stay sound for what I want to do (hint: not the olympics) I don't do it anymore. It's not worth the stress and the inevitable heartbreak when stuff eventually stops working.
                                      Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
                                      you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.


                                      • Thanks, guys!

                                        I know we all fall off, and it's not even the falling that's getting to me - it's the spooking that led to it, and that's been going on awhile. He's been spooky since I started riding him, but, I dunno, either I've gotten more sensitive to it or he is doing it more. Either way, even before the falls I've been having anxiety about him

                                        Which sucks because he IS generally a good boy (and took care of me at my first show in forever over the summer! Strangely, he's not at all spooky off property!)- but I'm not sure a nervous horse and a nervous rider is the best combo!


                                        • https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=3&theater

                                          OK I think I fixed it.

                                          Jack is the grey and Deagan is the bay

                                          Not much going on here. My trainer will be taking Jack to his first event this season on the 28th. He has really been going well post colic. Now just to get his weight back up.

                                          Deagan is enjoying his romps in the ring. He is such a funny boy.

                                          Paradox I hope this one fits the bill for you!! I hate horse shopping, but love the new horse STUFF shopping

                                          Rolypolypony- sorry about your falls. Sounds like he may need to work on that monster corner! Maybe your trainer can work with him some?

                                          Welcome back everyone!!!!
                                          Last edited by superD; Apr. 4, 2013, 04:01 PM. Reason: Fixed link