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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • CR - I'm glad you had a better ride last night on Velvet. Don't feel too bad about Rose, these things happen, and as much as we may try hard to plan ahead sometimes things just don't work out. Its great your friend wants to do 30 days on her, and sounds like you need the time to spend on your other horses. As for gifts, maybe a spa day? Gift basket filled with her favorite things?

    NJR - welcome, and sorry about your incident. If you have totally lost your nerve I would recommend lessoning on an quiet older horse and getting a session of training rides for your horse. Maybe trainer rides her twice a week and you do groundwork the rest of the days or something. Take the pressure of yourself to ride her when you don't feel comfortable doing so. I had to do that with my chestnut mare, and it made a world of difference for her. We actually did a few months with a local NH trainer who did not fall into any of the gimmicky programs, and it worked great for us. I did a series of lunge lessons on a school horse which was huge in regaining my confidence.

    Tarheel - jingles for your trainers horse! Everyone's worst nightmare .

    Paradox - Sorry about your rough weekend, but good decision to pass on the Appendix. You don't want to deal with a lameness issue before you even buy the horse especially if you didn't like it that much to begin with. I hope Chico gets better and good for you for doing some shopping therapy in the meantime!

    I had a great lesson again. I rode a different horse this time and he is HUGE. Like 17hh 6 year old HanoXTB. Did I mention how nice the lesson horses are at this place? He was so sweet though and extremely patient with me. I really enjoyed him on the flat and especially his canter. He's fun O/F too but got a bit rushy towards the fences - was great going into the first but then grabbed the bit towards the second, so that was a perfect opportunity for me to work on slowing everything down, especially my upper body & seat. The one time I did loose it and get too far ahead he stopped then jumped big and I nearly came off. Superstar horse totally took care of me and slowed down so I could crawl back into the saddle. We tried again and this time managed to get the add in the line we'd been working towards - whoop! Trainer said my jumping ahead looked better at the beginning, lost it in the middle, then got it back after the near fall. I was more steady on the flat too but still lift my heel/leg up and pinch with my knees. It takes time!
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


    • CR - so glad the next ride was better! You are smart to be thinking ahead about Rose, but I would hold off on any decisions until you see how the 30 days go. What a great friend! How about a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant or tack store?

      Event4Life - congrats on another great lesson!

      I have been flatting Dodger in the pelham - what a difference it has made! He is so much lighter and more responsive, it only takes a whisper to get a response. I so prefer that to "yelling" all the time. Now the question becomes, do I ride in it all the time? Or save it just for jump days? Interesting - I have found it easier to handle the reins with the snaffle on the outside of my little finger. Tried it with the curb on the outside and I was a mess - weird.

      "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy


      • TH--you are holding the reins correctly. The snaffle rein goes on the outside.

        I would save the Pelham for jump days. You don't want your horse to take it for granted.
        I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


        • Originally posted by Dewey View Post
          TH--you are holding the reins correctly. The snaffle rein goes on the outside.

          I would save the Pelham for jump days. You don't want your horse to take it for granted.
          Thanks Dewey and I was afraid you'd say that! Now to figure out what to use on a regular basis on the flat. I've tried numerous bits - he seems to prefer a double jointed mouthpiece and so far a Dr Bristol seems to fit the bill most days . . . other days not so much . . . on "other" days, I feel like I'm "screaming" at him the whole ride.

          "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy


          • Originally posted by Nojacketrequired View Post
            Any words of wisdom for someone who has totally lost their nerve?
            I rode off/on during university, and stopped after I was thrown from a horse (breaking my nose in the process), and so the instructor put me on a "quiet" schoolie who had a sudden spook while jumping which terrified me. I stopped riding.

            What got me back was finding an instructor that listened to me about being afraid to jump and was willing to slowly move from flatwork to trot poles. If something was scary, I just spoke up and said "that looks too big/too tight for me to turn/that seems too hard for me" and we would go from there.

            Best of luck! It will take time, but you can do it


            • I use a Dr. Bristol on Sky as our regular bit. The Pelham comes out a few days before the show.
              I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


              • Dewey how is your arm feeling?

                Believe it or not it is snowing and windy up here, temps below freezing AGAIN!!! We had a few nice spring-like days and now we're back to this. It feels more like February than April. So not much riding happening, I'm sulking instead. First show is in 5 weeks. Unbelievable.


                • Hazel, my arm is better. It's still not 100%, but it is much better. I rode today with no problem. (I won't mention that the temp here reached 80 degrees...)

                  Hang in there, kiddo.
                  I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                  • Dewey do you have a guestroom ha ha??


                    • Sure! Come on down! The azaleas are in full bloom!

                      I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                      • Hi, all. Well, I'm a little behind, so sorry I am not commenting on everyone's latest! Hope those who have had a rough spot are doing well.

                        Thanks for the encouraging words on my horse search. I'm a little frustrated. I cannot seem to find anything. Problem is I want what I cannot afford to spend at this point. (16.1 or taller and SANE). But my budget is only around $2000 right now. I'm striking out. I don't mind an older horse that is sound, but even those late teens seem out of range right now. I'm spoiled because my current horse (Chico) is just such a good fit for us, and he was given to me. I want another one like him!

                        Speaking if Chico, seems it is not abscesses. Took X-rays and we think it is just thin soles that bruised. Weird since he has never had a problem before. Need to get shoes on him. He was bare this winter due to my not being able to ride. But I have ridden him a full season without shoes before. Ah, well, shoes it is!

                        And to top off my good news, I don't think my ankle is fixed. It is starting to feel like it did before I had my cast(s) put on. My next appointment is on the 18th. Hope I'm wrong.

                        Okay, if I have to say something good, we are heading to Equine Affaire the weekend of the 12th. I have never been there before, so I am looking forward to it. Plan to see the Will Simpson clinic. And shop.
                        “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                        ¯ Oscar Wilde


                        • Dewey, beautiful pic! Love azaleas! Can't wait for my irises to bloom this year. They are my favorites. Will post pics in a month or so.
                          “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                          ¯ Oscar Wilde


                          • "Think like a horse! As riders we worry about the past and future, but horses just live in the moment - your horse is not thinking about what spooked her before or what might spook her in the future, she is just doing her thing right now."

                            Need to hear this! Over & over again! Confession: When the Sea Monster came to me it was b/c of my friend going through a divorce but more than that - my friend HATED riding her b/c of how she spooked and what she'd spook at. Some of the stuff she told me about was more than legit - I'd spook hard, too! I never really saw the weird spooking until recently. It's not even like a spook - it's just like all 4 feet sort of jump backwards 2-3 INCHES all at once. Hard to explain but the Amazon has been doing this since last week...I'm sure it contributed to her bucking bronco routine on Saturday. BUT I got on today and she was fine...not 100% but part of it is the fearless d@mn deer that are always just inside the treeline & making noises. Anyway - I got on today and just couldn't shake the events of Saturday. It was an okay ride - I've got to get my core fixed - wishing I was fit like when I was 20 years old. Having that feeling of being....hmmm...compromised?? not good. I've been telling my daughter that every ride is a blank slate and to quit worrying that something bad is going to happen...I should listen to my own advice! ha!

                            Sounds like we're all having some ups & downs. I'm looking forward to the warmer weather at the end of this week. SO overwhelmed with various chores in trying to get spring planting done. Broilers (meat chickens) are coming end of the week and I've got 100+ tomato plants I've got to transplant. So glad spring is here!! Anyway - healing vibes and happy, quiet horses for everyone!! Off to bed - I'm beat.


                            • "BUT I got on today and she was fine...not 100% but part of it is the fearless d@mn deer that are always just inside the treeline & making noises."

                              I hate that, Finzean. I had one once jump through the trees, into the arena I was riding in, and jump out the other side. Miraculously I saw it first and turned my (old) horse the other way, and she never even noticed it! Scared the daylights out of me, though, expecting an explosion.

                              Spooking is probably one of my biggest pet peeves. Unless they're little spooks. That's okay. I don't like those power spooks anymore. My young dutch mare was so bad with spooking and being just reactive about everything. I could walk by her stall and blow my bangs out of my eyes and she would flip her head and bonk her poor face on the top of her stall. I tried to work this horse for years and she really never got better! Classy, she reminded me of your horse Rose in that I tried and tried until she was eight, then finally said, that's is. She's not the horse for me at this point in my life. I got her as a yearling. Sold her as an eight year old. Not that you need to sell your horse, but sometimes if you decide you need to, that's okay!
                              “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                              ¯ Oscar Wilde


                              • Opus, it was great to hear from you. I had wondered what happened to you and Oliver. There is no shame in realizing you aren't as interested in riding as you once were. It costs too much not to enjoy it. It's too bad you don't have much camaraderie at your barn; for me, that is really important. I suggest visiting around at other barns and then reevaluating. You may find that taking lessons without the lease better suits you...or you may find that emotionally and mentally you've moved on from riding. If that's the case, we'll miss you, but it's OK. There are so many wonderful things in the world to experience, and they don't all involve horses.

                                Paradox, I'm sorry the Appendix didn't work out. I agree that it sounds as though she had too many issues. You need a horse both you and DH can ride for under $2000--is that right? It'll take awhile to find him/her, but I'm sure that horse is out there--probably an older solid citizen. Keep checking the Giveaways forum. Some amazing horses have shown up there. How is Chico doing? How's your ankle? Glad to hear about your amazing bargains! I'm glad you liked my azalea/dogwood picture. I took that one year ago just outside the entrance to our subdivision. Our summers are brutal, but late March/early April is always lovely.

                                Spooking: everyone is talking about spooking! Sky is Queen Spook. She has improved, but she has to look at everything, and the most ordinary things make her nervous. Yesterday it was the hose in the barn aisle and some rails that had been moved in the ring. This is why I wonder if she will ever be a horse I can take places. Maybe in ten years! I won't tell you how old I'll be then! Oh, well. Don't get me wrong: I am enjoying her, and I know she really wants to be a good girl.

                                CR--how wonderful of your friend to agree to work with Rose for you. I agree that a special thank-you gift for your friend will be in order. That's probably just what Rose needs. After the 30 days, you can evaluate whether it makes sense for you to keep her. She'll be more marketable if she can w-t-c under saddle. As for Velvet, I agree with whoever it was who suggested lessons for you and/or some training rides for her. At this point, your confidence needs a boost, and the quickest way to obtain that will be some lessons on a steady-Eddie type and then some lessons on Velvet. Then again, you can evaluate whether or not she is really the right horse for you.
                                I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                                • Originally posted by twelvebelles View Post
                                  Think like a horse! As riders we worry about the past and future, but horses just live in the moment - your horse is not thinking about what spooked her before or what might spook her in the future, she is just doing her thing right now.
                                  Wow. I HAVE to remember this. I've noticed I've been rather anxious about tonight's lesson - I haven't ridden since my fall at last week's lesson because I was too sore for Friday's practice ride. I've been feeling the anxiety today

                                  I did order a vest - not really because I'm scared that every spook will lead to a fall, but because I don't bounce as well as I used - as witnessed by how sore I still am a week later! Granted, I have a really bony butt and that's what I landed on!


                                  • Wish me luck I aranged to have a lesson on Tues and 11am... The weather is supposed to be nice enough here so I don't have to look like the abondmoible snowman to be outside. I think it is to be 65... Winter is finally releasing its grip.
                                    Of course the weatherdude is calling for storms the day before. But so far nothing on Tues.
                                    I cant wait. I get to spend the whole day at the barn just being with the horses. Maybe I will hop on Toby but I guess Ill have to see how my balance and stuff are but the hope is. And I hope that my riding was not effected much..
                                    Friend of bar .ka


                                    • RolyPP, enjoy your lesson. Take a deep breath and maybe visualize a nice fun quiet ride! Let us know how it goes.

                                      bumknees, great on your lesson coming up too! Glad the weather is getting nicer. We all can use a break from winter! Going to be 70º here this weekend. Perfect riding weather.

                                      Dewey, thanks for your thoughts. I think I may have a prospect to go look at. It's a TB, large boned which I like. If we agree on a pricerange, we'll see her on the 14th on the way back from Equine Affaire. It's SOMEWHAT on the way. We'll see how it goes! Yeah, I know it's tough to have such a small budget, but eventually we'll find something. I need to be patient.
                                      “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                                      ¯ Oscar Wilde


                                      • Wow, that's great, bumknees! Best of luck! Just don't expect too much of yourself. Getting out to the barn and interacting with Toby will be the main thing.
                                        I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                                        • Hi, everyone.

                                          I'm trying to get back into posting more again. I know I've been away awhile and I can see so much has happened! I think I need to set an evening aside to read everything I've missed.

                                          Hope everyone is well!