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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Financially I will be okay. I won't be able to spend willy-nilly but I can more than afford board, shoes etc. The horse won't be able to see a chiropractor 3x a week, but he'd be well cared for.

    Part of me feels bad that I'm considering this when I still have student loans to pay, about $60,000 worth.

    I am having a lot of trouble because right now I am having difficulty hauling myself out to the barn for lessons-- it takes an hour to get there and I get to spend my lesson beating up a school pony. To take 2 lessons a week, would cost me $320/mo and board is $350. The only difference is that I could quit lessons if things got tight, but I can't quit the horse. I am not really wanting to ride because between the time committment, the crappy lessons, and the fact that there is zero comraderie at the barn because it's mostly lesson kids and I'm "old" to them-- I am just not enjoying it at all. If I had my own I could board 7 miles from my house.

    I'm worried I'll buy a horse and be alone in it because I don't know anyone out here, and with board I won't be able to afford a lot of lessons (especially since there's very little available in the way of training here right now).
    Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
    you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.

    Comment


    • Alterageous - have you investigated clinics? Do you like the trainer your lessoning from now enough to ask if she'll come to you for 1 lesson a month or something along those lines?

      You say you're worried about meeting people...That will come the more you get used to the new place and make an effort to be as friendly as possible. You wont feel at home in a day, but it will happen with time. And if that barn doesn't work out, there will be others.

      Nerves are natural. You are human. Do a PPE, take out insurance on horsey, budget carefully, and you'll be fine!
      "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
      "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Event4Life View Post
        Alterageous - have you investigated clinics? Do you like the trainer your lessoning from now enough to ask if she'll come to you for 1 lesson a month or something along those lines?

        You say you're worried about meeting people...That will come the more you get used to the new place and make an effort to be as friendly as possible. You wont feel at home in a day, but it will happen with time. And if that barn doesn't work out, there will be others.

        Nerves are natural. You are human. Do a PPE, take out insurance on horsey, budget carefully, and you'll be fine!
        Current trainer doesn't travel (or really do what I do-- she is strictly a hunter trainer, and I really want to play more in the jumpers) very few around here do. There's a couple barns that have in house trainers but none with a really good trainer nearby. I could ship out to a lesson once a month but again, pushes the budget when I have to add in $60 of trailering and $100 for a lesson.
        Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
        you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.

        Comment


        • Alterageous - I say go for it! The world will seem brighter with a horse of your own. You will meet people at the new barn because they will all be interested in meeting the new horse. Besides, you won't be alone - you'll have your Canter Cutie!
          http://fromdressagehorsetocowpony.blogspot.com/

          "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy

          Comment


          • zacdos, I'm crossing my fingers that all works out and you can get out of the lease and out of that barn. Keep us posted.

            pony4me, so happy your horse is feeling better! Will you be doing any local shows? Keep us (me) posted. Maybe I can come out and cheer you on, or maybe I'll be showing as well! I would love to come do one of the Hunters Court jumper shows.

            RolyPolyPony, sorry about your fall. Hope your guy gets over his spookiness. I'm no longer quite a fan of spookiness! I didn't bother me so much when I was younger. Good luck! And I hope you are feeling well.

            SuperD, I sure hope Jack is progressing in the right direction. It does sound like it. Thanks for your thoughts about the Appendix. Crossing my fingers all goes well tomorrow, though I still don't have a definite time! Sigh.

            Alterageous...take a breather. Maybe it's not yet the right time? If it's just normal nerves, just take your time searching and try to enjoy the process. If is SUPER nerve wracking, don't be afraid to back off for a little while. But I agree with others that in a new barn you will likely make friends. It'll be a fun challange. Good luck.

            I agree with Dewey, would love to see the Canter cutey! And I promise I won't go buy him from under you!
            “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
            ¯ Oscar Wilde

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Tiger Horse View Post
              Alterageous - I say go for it! The world will seem brighter with a horse of your own. You will meet people at the new barn because they will all be interested in meeting the new horse. Besides, you won't be alone - you'll have your Canter Cutie!
              I agree! If you have your finances in order, you should do it. If you have a barn owner/manager you trust, your time shouldn't be the issue. I work 4 days a week (not that much I know, but sometimes 5 are used for work) and I have $200k+ in student loans. My board costs more than twice yours and lessons are expensive. BUT.... I am SO happy now that I have a horse I love to call my own. He is everything I hoped he'd be.

              But it IS scary. When I was horse shopping and came close several times to buying, I felt like I was going to vomit. It was terrifying. The commitment, the $$. When the right one came along though, it wasn't even scary. It was exciting! If you feel like it's not right, then don't do it. But if you feel like it's a good time for you in your life and a good fit, then what's stopping you? The training thing is a concern, but is this new horse overfacing you to the point where you can't do anything without a trainer? That'd be scary. Having a horse does open up connections. Maybe someone else at the barn knows a trainer for you? Maybe once you have a horse your trainer will seriously recommend someone for you for your chosen discipline? All things to consider Good luck!

              Comment


              • Hello, I am out of the lease! I texted the trainer and the horse owner-who I am sure knows nothing of this. I only told the horse owner I was bailing and the trainer I just cancelled the the lesson. They were both sympathetic. I am real sorry I had to do it I wanted it to work so bad but it was not to be. I loved the horse he was a dream a 3/4 Arabian gelding with 3 crosses to Bask very well bred and beautiful. But it wasn't going to get me anywhere.

                I am considering telling the horse owner about what happened and why I really bailed. I know she really cares for the horse but also has great faith in the "trainer". I have nothing to loose and maybe I can help another leasee in the future.

                My next step is to find another trainer but I only want lessons so I can bail a anytime. I think it takes 6 months to a year to really figure out what is what and if you are going to like it there. My idea is to buy my own horse once I find a barn and instructor I really like. Pony4me suggested I might find a trainer on this forum. Does anyone now how I might do that?

                And lastly I would like to keep posting here and maybe I can help someone else out with my vast knowledge lol!!!

                Comment


                • zacdos - do a forum search first on your area. Posts may come up with boarding barn and trainer suggestions. If nothing comes up then post either here on HJ or on Off Course depending on whether you want a specific HJ trainer or don't mind if the program is more general.

                  As for telling the owner, it really depends on your relationship with her. Part of me says MYOB and don't add fat to the frying pan and all that stuff. Another part of me says if I was the owner I'd want to know your stopping the lease has nothing to do with the horse. You could maybe just tell her that and let her figure the rest out for herself.
                  "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
                  "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

                  Comment


                  • Zacdos, I think the 6 month rule is a good one. I took 6 months of lessons before I half leased a horse at my first barn, and it was a good experience. The only problem was that I fell in love with the horse and was sad when the lease was done! I'd also say that the longer you ride at a place, the more horses you will be exposed to and be able to use. I like the idea of having one horse partner, but I also like being able to ride different horses. All the horses I ride teach me something new.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Event4Life View Post
                      As for telling the owner, it really depends on your relationship with her. Part of me says MYOB and don't add fat to the frying pan and all that stuff. Another part of me says if I was the owner I'd want to know your stopping the lease has nothing to do with the horse. You could maybe just tell her that and let her figure the rest out for herself.
                      I agree. Tell the owner that she has a lovely horse. You don't have to explain specifically why you're ending the lease, and I don't recommend it.
                      I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                      Comment


                      • Dewey - how are you feeling after your foray into the world of human lawn dart?

                        Have been out of the loop not checking in regularly - now I'm so far behind many of your children have graduated...hahaha....

                        Have read through everything but will miss something so apologies now.

                        zacdos - welcome and RUN! Truly - ditto what everyone else said including don't tell the owner anything negative. Though well meaning, that could turn out something akin to shoving a stick in a yellow jacket hole. Do tell her she has a lovely horse and thank her for giving you such a wonderful opportunity. btw - When you mentioned Arabian a GIANT alarm bell went off in my head. Way back in the day -as a just turned teenager - I was given the chance to show some incredibly nice Arabs for a woman with gobs of money, a string of well bred mares & fillies, and that's about it (common sense, where art thou?). I was so desperate to be with the horses and I did learn a lot but getting to ride was never an important part of the package. I rode some but it was almost always (for 2 years) what you described in your original post. I did really well showing the horses in hand but it just kept getting weirder. Anyway - I shouldn't project - but glad you got out of the lease. You asked about trainer/situation recommendations...geographic location would be helpful. COTH has non-scary peeps all over the map. And you know how this horse world is - a web, network, whatever, of horsey people. A big barn with loads of horses may not be where you land, but through the web/network/whatever you will eventually land where you're supposed to be.

                        Paradox - good luck on the horse purchase!! Keep us posted! Chico needs a pal. I would like to suggest that you try to focus on another gelding so you can call it The Man. Chico & The Man....haha, get it?

                        Event4Life - I'm wondering - did you get sucked into a "yahoo" barn and then have to escape? Wilmington area has never had a overwhelming choice of riding opps. sorry it didn't work out but it sounds like the move has been great! And you still live near the salt air!!

                        SuperD - ugh, Jack?? Wish I could do some "I Dream of Jeannie" magic blinky thing and fix those guts!! Sending jingles for continued progress.

                        RolyPoly - feel better?

                        Alterageous - ditto Tiger Horse & others who have said "just do it!" - (projecting in progress so watch out!) Getting my new mare has been like medicine. I didn't realize just how much of a change she made in ME until I overheard my husband, daughter, and some friends talking about how much happier and at "peace" I seemed. Yes, it is the new critter. I can't even mention her without grinning like a big ol' idiot!! I hate to even think it but....YOLO!! hahaha

                        Life here has been crazy! New "farm as a business" is keeping me ridiculously busy - we do the organic & free range gig. Everyone and their brother wanting our blue free range eggs at Easter...several crazies wanting a chick/duck for the Easter basket - let me tell you those phone convos are like being trapped in a craigslist ad during a full moon!! ha! Yesterday was hay day, shavings day, and install the new honeybees day - 2 new hives, no stings - crossing my fingers and toes all those ladies are doing well (yeah, I know, they are bugs but still!! ) . Today I've got plantings outside and "greenhouse" transplants to move into bigger containers; the heavy equipment guy is coming to move an outbuilding; horse stuff AND I am actually getting my hair cut. Always a treat since people won't recognize me for a while without the trademark Compost Happens or circa 1990 Virginia Horse Center ball cap. The Amazon is wonderful but we are having trailering issues - as in she doesn't fit comfortably in the 2 horse straight load XW/XT. Ugh. And the transmission in the truck went out 2 days ago so there goes a giant chunk of the new trailer funds. But I walk out to the barn and holler for The Amazon - whom I call Big Sister, Sis for short - and she literally comes trotting to the gate with her giant stride, immense head, and precious little pony brain....and all the truck probs in the world just vanish. Damn, I LOVE this mare!!!

                        Happy Easter, Pagan Egg Festival, Rabbit Day, or whatever to all y'all! Today I'm waking up feeling just so very blessed & excited...it's a pretty good life.

                        Comment


                        • Great post, Finzean. Would love to see a pic of you and the Amazon. I am fascinated by the description of your business! Sounds wonderful!

                          I am doing better, thanks. The arm is much less sore. Now I have a spot on my ribcage that is sore, especially when I cough or sneeze, but I expect that to lessen with time. I suspect I cracked a rib as a result of my previous fall (about a month or two ago), and the pain from that lessened and was gone after a few weeks.
                          I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                          Comment


                          • Thanks, all!

                            I'm still sore enough to not ride tonight - mainly because sitting hurts, and while I've got a fairly strong half-seat, doing so for 45 mins is a bit much!!

                            Comment


                            • Hi Ok I nave decided not to tell the owner anything bad about my experience. Considering the fact that what is bad to one person may not be bad to another and in that regard maybe the horse owner will not see it as bad. Best to let it go. Even though I have another month on my lease I am not going back there-there is no point!

                              Finzean- Your description with the Arabian show horses sounds a lot like my situation. I was so excited to get involved again I was oblivious to any red flags in the beginning, But the situation could have turned out a lot worse that is for sure.

                              I am in Western WA near Redmond. Any recommendations positive or negative would be greatly appreciated, Also I found a trainer who sounds good but the lesson rate is $100 with school horse, Average here is $50-$60 with school hose.

                              Comment


                              • Well I took the advice-- pending a vetting, my CANTER cutie is coming home to me on April 20.
                                Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
                                you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.

                                Comment


                                • Woooooo hoooooo, Alterageous! Congratulations! NOW can we pleeeeeease see a picture?
                                  I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                                  Comment


                                  • Lots to catch up. I'll respond more later. Just wanted to say that I'm going to look at the Appendix today at 3:00. Wish us luck!!! I'll take pics and/or video.

                                    Happy Friday, all!
                                    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                                    ¯ Oscar Wilde

                                    Comment


                                    • Paradox- Yipee!!! Hope it all works out.

                                      Alterageous- Yea!! I also request pictures. So exciting

                                      Zacdos- I think you are doing the right thing. I have no advice as far as other barns go since I am on the east coast. If you do an advanced search on here you should be able to find something

                                      Comment


                                      • Congrats Alterageous!!

                                        Comment


                                        • Congrats Alterageous, fingers crossed for the vetting & GOOD LUCK Paradox for tomorrow! I'm hoping you get an easter pony!

                                          Finzean - your new endeavors sound really exciting. Will PM you on barn details. I'm pondering a visit to your neck of the woods at some point so will let you know! I think the new barn will work out better - I'm kind of reserving judgment and going to try not to jump in head first this time, but no alarm bells are going off.

                                          zacdos - I don't think there's anything wrong with letting the owner know you enjoyed her horse if the opportunity arises. Assuming trainer is going to handle the next lessor the same way she did you the only will figure things out soon enough. If the horse was in danger our advice would be different of course, but as its not, you are doing absolutely the right thing by staying out of it and not continuing the lessons/rides through this month.
                                          "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
                                          "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

                                          Comment

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