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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Well, everyone, I was going to wait to post about this, but I am so worked up and anxious that I have to unload. Awhile ago, I posted this:

    "I'm really bummed about a remark my trainer tossed out yesterday. She and I were watching one of her riders take a little QH around the course, practicing for the show, and as usual, he was being a very good boy, showing off his cute jump and perfect lead changes. This is a horse I trained and showed for three years and who was my regular mount before Sky. I take a lot of pride in him as he was an extremely green five-year-old when I started riding him. I taught him how to jump and do his changes, etc. He's smart and fun, and I love him dearly. My coach has told me many times what a beautiful job I did training him. Since then, he has been a very useful horse, doing lessons and IEA and IHSA shows.

    Anyway, we were watching him go round, and the coach remarked, "Dang, I really need to sell him as he is worth some serious money." My heart fell into my boots. The little girl who was riding him is leasing him, and I know she, too, would be heartbroken. She is cleaning up on the local circuit, and I know she adores him.

    I can't decide if that was a throw-away remark or not. Frankly, I need to ask her, so I can start preparing myself emotionally.
    "

    Well, I never could bring myself to ask, and now I am kicking myself. The trainer took a bunch of horses and riders to Charleston this weekend--no big deal--that happens all the time. However, when I was at the barn yesterday tacking up, one of the barn workers remarked to me casually if I knew why the little QH had gone to Charleston, as his regular rider does not show that circuit (too expensive). I was very puzzled but soon began to fear that the trainer had taken him to try to sell. I began to put things together. I knew she had taken one of her regular riders sans mount "to try to get some catch rides"--what if she went along to show the little QH? Also, I have noticed to my puzzlement that the trainer has been putting the QH's regular rider on another horse frequently during lessons--what if that is in preparation to selling him?

    I am sick over all this. I have no control over anything as he is not my horse. I am just venting, and it may be a tempest in a teapot: I may go to the barn tomorrow and find him in his stall just as usual.
    I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

    Comment


    • Aww..I know this must be difficult! Stinks when you have no control. Does the girl currently riding him have a written lease agreement on him? Any way you can buy him back? Then you can lease him out? Just trying to think of something. No easy ansers. I am sorry.
      “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
      ¯ Oscar Wilde

      Comment


      • I don't know what the details of the lease are. I'm afraid the asking price may be beyond my ability to pay...and DH would have a fit. I think the trainer would love to keep him, but she may be selling because he's worth a good bit and she probably needs the money. I know a few months ago she tried to sell a nice warmblood mare she has but got no takers. She did the same thing--took her to some of the bigger shows she regularly takes riders to (not A shows--maybe B or C?) and hired a pro to show her.

        I could inquire about the lease. I am afraid my emotions are getting the better of me. I appreciate your concern, Paradox.
        I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

        Comment


        • Tough situation Dewey - ((hugs)).
          http://fromdressagehorsetocowpony.blogspot.com/

          "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Finzean View Post

            Tiger Horse - migraines are the worst & this weather seems to make them more common place for me. I've been having the several days won't go away, instead of severe/to the ER, then loose 3 days b/c of meds. But they still shut things down. feel better! So glad you & DD enjoyed some time together...need to do some bonding w/my own DD over something not horse related...
            Sorry to hear you also suffer from migraines. My boss saw me taking some meds on Friday and asked if I was OK - I said, "as long as I can stand up and not throw up - I'll be here!" He was shocked - folks who don't get them have no idea and it's amazing what you can learn to live with headache wise. Hope you and DD get some time together.
            http://fromdressagehorsetocowpony.blogspot.com/

            "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy

            Comment


            • Button welcome!! I know all about fear issues!!!!! I have finally decided that I am no longer going to suffer from the fear of jumping. My trainer is going to compete my big guy and I will just keep schooling him on the flat and take him for his conditioning rides. ( I am a hunter now posing as an eventer .) Problem is now solved and I have no more anxiety.

              Dewey- Sky is gorgeous!! Good luck with future shows with her!!!!

              Tiger Horse- Glad you had a nice spring break with your kiddo and welcome back to the grind.

              Comment


              • Dewey - Sorry to say it but it does appear that she's trying to sell him. IMO there's no other reason to take him out to a big show and hire a pro other than to get him better exposure to a wider market. If I was a trainer, I wouldn't be reaching into my own pocket just to get him more mileage unless I thought that investment was going to be paid back (and soon). And if I was just getting him mileage I would be trying to get the same for my student, not hiring an already experienced pro. You have every right to be proud of your work with him, it takes a lot of skill to bring along a youngster correctly. Just remember she's got to make a living too, and I suspect at the price she'll ask for him he'll be going to a home where he's appreciated an well cared for. That said, it never hurts to ask, and I bet you'd be able to negotiate his price a lot lower than anyone else could.

                Finzean - I swear it's like they know when they can get away with being lazy! I think any animal smart enough to hold it's breath when its girth is being tightened is also smart enough to screw with us at will.

                Comment


                • A few of you asked about my potential Appendix. Nothing yet. I just talked to my trainer today. He has been out of town. He will call me and the seller tomorrow to try to arrange a time that all three of us can make. Fingers crossed it is this week, but trainer is leaving town again Thursday. If not this week, it will be the 30th when I have my lesson. In the meantime, as of yesterday Chico is alone. Poor baby. But he's fine, really. My friend picked her horse up yesterday (to sell) so we're on our own. We spent a lot of time with him yesterday though. Probably more than he wanted -- DH body clipped him for me! He desperately needed it.
                  “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                  ¯ Oscar Wilde

                  Comment


                  • Button, that is what I am telling myself. If he is going to be sold at a good price, he will undoubtedly be well cared for. I have been mulling over possible plans to make buying him feasible for me, but I just think it would be an emotional decision and not really that smart. You're right: I could probably negotiate the price down because the trainer would still get to use him (and he gets used all the time in lessons and shows), but would that be smart? How many people buy an expensive animal that they themselves don't have time to ride? And in ten years or so when he's ready to retire, what do I do then? I don't own property with pasture.

                    I haven't totally given up hope, but...
                    I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                    Comment


                    • Dewey, you're probably right. If your gut is saying let him go, then you probably need to listen. Our hearts are the tricky ones. When I sell a horse, I usually prefer it to be out of state. I don't like to see them around. It makes me sad.

                      And who knows, maybe your trainer will not get what she wants for him, and he'll be around for a long time. That's what I'm hoping for. Fingers are crossed.
                      “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                      ¯ Oscar Wilde

                      Comment


                      • Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I will keep you posted.
                        I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Button View Post
                          Finzean - I swear it's like they know when they can get away with being lazy! I think any animal smart enough to hold it's breath when its girth is being tightened is also smart enough to screw with us at will.
                          Thanks for the much needed chuckle!
                          http://fromdressagehorsetocowpony.blogspot.com/

                          "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by ParadoxFarm View Post
                            A few of you asked about my potential Appendix. Nothing yet. I just talked to my trainer today. He has been out of town. He will call me and the seller tomorrow to try to arrange a time that all three of us can make. Fingers crossed it is this week, but trainer is leaving town again Thursday. If not this week, it will be the 30th when I have my lesson. In the meantime, as of yesterday Chico is alone. Poor baby. But he's fine, really. My friend picked her horse up yesterday (to sell) so we're on our own. We spent a lot of time with him yesterday though. Probably more than he wanted -- DH body clipped him for me! He desperately needed it.
                            Good luck Paradox - I sure do admire your patience!
                            Last edited by Tiger Horse; Mar. 18, 2013, 04:35 PM. Reason: spelling
                            http://fromdressagehorsetocowpony.blogspot.com/

                            "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy

                            Comment


                            • Thanks, Tiger Horse. I'm trying. . We sold our second horse over two months ago. I really thought I would have had a new one by now. I guess the right one will come my way when the time is right. Let's just hope this Appendix mare is the right one!
                              “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                              ¯ Oscar Wilde

                              Comment


                              • Gool luck Paradox, and when you get the timing worked out pics please!

                                Comment


                                • Oh, for sure! Love sharing pics.
                                  “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                                  ¯ Oscar Wilde

                                  Comment


                                  • Dewey I'm sorry to hear about the little QH. When my lease horse was sold (not the same thing I know), I was so sad. I understand how you must feel at the very least, though it's not the same. I guess take heart in knowing your trainer is trying to show the horse off to get as many inquiries as possible, so there's a better chance of a good home?

                                    Paradox, good luck! Keep us updated with the Appendix. How exciting, eeee!

                                    Classyride, I hope the barn situation gets better for you soon. Hopefully it's just a fluke and things will be smoother from now on.

                                    Hope the weather is getting better for everyone! I check in and read about everyone every week but it's hard to post so often.

                                    Bug is doing so much better! The wound is almost closed -- maybe in a week?
                                    We had some good schooling. It will be better when the wound is closed and he can finally be turned out like a normal horse. He bucked 4 times in the roundpen today! Poor guy. He loves the pampering though.
                                    We had a long lesson today. Trot poles and haunches in to figure out better self-awareness, then when he's ready, some small jumps. He can figure it on his own about 1/3 of the time, but we're trying to go for that "click" where he gets it 2/3 or more. My biggest challenge is his greenness -- his attention span is shorter than the average horse, and trying to challenge him but not confuse him is hard. My trainer is amazing and is right there telling me when I should ask for more and when what I'm doing is appropriate, but sometimes I wish I knew intuitively...then hoping I can get the same out of him when I ride alone.

                                    There's a big show coming up I wish I could do but I can't with my schedule, so my target is in mid-May. It's a USEF "C" rated show, however, so I have to register and pick a name! Eeeee. It's challenging!

                                    Your reward for reading: Pics!
                                    Fancy Pony!
                                    Trot Poles
                                    Trying to control this hind end ain't easy
                                    Trot poles! (How come rising at the post is so unattractive?)

                                    Comment


                                    • Finzean don't feel bad about weather whining. Misery loves company . More snow and freezing rain on the way.

                                      Dewey, no words of wisdom but sending you lots of frozen hugs.

                                      Pancakes the pics of Bug are lovely. And you need to do equitation classes when you start showing you look great!

                                      6 weeks til show season starts and still a couple of feet of snow on the ground. Everyone is so sick of riding around in circles in the indoor. Going to buy my horse one of those lights for seasonal affective disorder. Maybe he will share it with me...

                                      Comment


                                      • Well the past few days or so have been riddled with snow/sleet/hail and rain. I have not ridden at all since last week. I really hate this month!!!! Come on spring!!!!

                                        Anyway today I went over the plans for Jack as far as competitions go. My trainer competes him and I have a blast watching my boy rock!! We went over to the dark side from Hunters. He LOVES eventing. I think his favorite XC jump is the water, he is so funny. We are shooting for a starter trail at the end of April and going BN with a move up to Novice in May if all goes well.
                                        He is still so green but way too athletic. BN is too easy for him so he doesn't really try. I am so excited to get him back out there!!

                                        As for my older guy. He has been retired for a year now and I just keep thinking he is too young still ( turning 19 next month) to just sit around. But everytime I try to bring him back he doesn't stay sound.. He doesn't owe me anything but on the other hand how can you tell if he is happy??? He seems so to me anyway, but will stand at the gate and watch me work with Jack instead of grazing with his buddies.

                                        Anyway sorry about the lease horse Dewey, that's always hard!!

                                        Good luck Paradox with checking out the appendix!!

                                        Comment


                                        • Well, everyone, I feel very foolish. I didn't post last night because I was so embarrassed.

                                          My little QH buddy is home again safe and sound. He went to the show as a temporary lease for a girl whose pony was lame--a possibility I never considered in my panic attack. He was a very good boy and was champion in his division one of the two days. (I think it was crossbars? Something I never showed him in.)

                                          I had worked myself into a state on the way to the barn. Much to my relief, there he was, as cute as ever, his head hanging over the stall door, looking for a treat from me. I ran into a girl who had gone to the show, and she asked, "How are you?" I told her about my anxiety, and she said, "What were you worried about? He was a star at the show!" I said, "Then he's not for sale?" And she looked at me as if I had two heads.

                                          I still haven't talked to the trainer about this as she was busy with lessons and always had other people around. But I will. I need to ask her to warn me if he does go on the market, so I don't get an ulcer not knowing. But the situation seems safe for now.

                                          I am so sorry I worried everyone. And the next time I go to the barn, I am going to ride my little buddy.
                                          I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                                          Comment

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