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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Tiger Horse, that sounds like a tough situation. I am sure your daughter is worried about losing her surviving parent. Stay sensible, try not to fight about it. I think she will come around eventually.

    Yesterday as part of our warm-up, we chased some newly-arrived Canada geese yesterday (she gets over any fear of critters if she can chase them... and when we made them fly away she was quite pleased with herself!) Had an ... OK ... lesson until the very end when everything came together very well. Trainer had just said, "oooo pretty trot!" when Feronia took a bad step and went instantly lame. She is still lame today. Just had a $1200 vet bill and I am not sure how much more of this I can take.
    You have to have experiences to gain experience.

    1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"

    Comment


    • For better or for worse, I made an appointment to go see horses at the dealers tomorrow.

      I must be out of my mind. I don't NEED a horse. Figures that I post this just after someone's post about recurring vet bills, which would be a not.good.thing for me. We have the $$ but it always seems to have another place to go.
      Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
      you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.

      Comment


      • Thanks everyone for the kind words. I guess, like everything else, we have to take this one day at a time. I do think I will look into some counseling for this summer though. It certainly couldn't hurt.

        CR - sounded like not riding was a good decision! Hope your lesson goes well and can't imagine it won't!

        Event4life - congrats on the new pooch - we will, of course, expect pictures!

        Oh know quietann - hope the lameness resolves without having to get the vet involved - fingers crossed for you.

        Alterageous - of course, you have to go and see! We'll expect pics of your new mount tomorrow night!! Have fun.
        http://fromdressagehorsetocowpony.blogspot.com/

        "I am still under the impression that there is nothing alive quite so beautiful as a thoroughbred horse." -- John Galsworthy

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        • Tiger horse-I am so sorry about your DH, what a shock. I can understand your daughter's fear, driving is likely more dangerous however.

          I watched my now 6 year old OTTB jump with his trainer. He is the calmest nicest jumping horse I have ever watched. My first bolted for her first 2 years jumping (and pretty much half of the time after that), my older TB never picked up his feet until I asked, this new (relatively) guy is really nice. He picks up his feet, takes the right distance and maintains the same pace after the fence. No drama !
          It was 78 today and I left work early and tacked him up for her and did jump set up and carrot giving for jumping new jumps. he was so good, we were both so excited and it was great to spend time with him and watch him jump.

          So two years later and I feel that he is really coming together. Thanks, work has been a disaster and I just needed to write about something positive in my life right now.

          Comment


          • Tiger Horse - I am so sorry for your loss. I have been where your daughter is at. My Dad died when I was in college and my mom was your age. My mom doesn't even have any "dangerous" hobbies and I was still paranoid about losing her for the first couple years. I think I would've tried to talk my Mom out of jumping too, but she would not have listened to me, and ten years later I can understand why. At the end of the day you deserve to do the things that you enjoy. At least for me, it wasn't a fear therapy could remove for me, it just took time and learning how to let go of things I couldn't control.

            I would just keep reminding your daughter that riding is a source of happiness for you, that you are being as safe as you can and that you can't live your life in a bubble. If she is anything like me, eventually she will accept it even if she doesn't like it. Does she ride at all, or ever go to the barn with you? Maybe it would help if she spent some time with your horse and saw what a good boy he is, how you ride together, and how much fun you are having.

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            • Oh geesh Tigerhorse I am so sorry for your loss Isn't it funny how our children act when something happens. I have not lost DH yet but have had several mmm lets just say medical setbacks and the last effected Ds's oddly. Kinda like your DD. Neither really want me to ride I think they would have a heart attacks if I was actually jumping.. (I have yet to ride due to weather) which I plan on doing again once I am sure my balance is back to where it was prestroke. Which I figure will be maybe 2wks then 3ft maybe horse willing 6wks after that.
              I have no words other than have already been said maybe as someone else mentioned. Excpet maybe this would help.
              ( Im not really good that these things soo here is my suggestion).. sit down with her when she is home as her what she is really scared of is it you just riding or jumping, then have her come and what you and see how happy you are and remind her how her father always encouraged you to do this and in so keeps you happy and keeps his memory alive and this is what he would want you to do.. etc. if she is an analytical(sp) type Jumping is just another part of riding and X amount % fall off when first learning but I am not just learning remember I jumped as a JR so it is recalling muscle memory etc. Them x% die each yr from jumping(ring not xcountry) this is out of X amount of ring riders due to both rider and horse error die each year ( the number has got to be very small or it would be all over COTH and we would probably have an obit page...)let her see the amount is really small if nonexsitant. And let her see while the sport is a "dangerious" sport that you and your father know/knew this and excepted this and do your best to reduce the danger by.....
              After all reminder life is terminal and life ( meaning we all have one thing in common we all die eventually) is also dangerous and we do our best to reduce the dangers we face. But we do not stop living because of the danger that are "out there" by not going beyond our doorsteps do we...
              Like I said I am not very good at this stuff and am not very touchy feely some say hard and cold... Good luck with DD..
              Friend of bar .ka

              Comment


              • Tigerhorse- I am so orry for your loss. No words of wisdom except keep communication lines open and listen...
                Well, I must say I feel like the ssteady eddie. Each lesson we have is better nad better and I am finally starting to get inside leg to outside rein! Takes me a while especially when I get near the end of my ride and I am so tired. I love this horse he makes things so simple for me. When I get it right it feels so good. I never thought I would feel movement like that again after losing Tyler. It is about training ore so then natural movement... YIPPEE.. Wish i had more time to ride though.
                Best all and hope for an early dry spring
                Mai Tai aka Tyler RIP March 1994-December 2011
                Grief is the price we pay for love- Gretchen Jackson
                "And here she comes. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's ZENYATTA!"

                Comment


                • Originally posted by jody jaffe View Post
                  Just took my OTTB to a clinic lead by a Ray Hunt type clinician. Best weekend I've spent with horses in a very long time. Did lots of groundwork, saddle work. At first both my mare and I were nervous, but we both left with a much higher level of confidence in each other. And I now have lots of new tools to use if I need them.
                  I think it's a great way to knock off the rust.
                  JJ
                  Yes, I think a good nh clinic is the best for inspiring confidence with a green horse.

                  Comment


                  • Well, went to the dealers. Tried 1 of 2 I went to go see, first was already sold, second was a paint mare who quit in front of the jumps so was a no go. I would have given her credit for the situation but as soon as she caught sight of a jump she'd try to duck away from it. Definitely no dice.

                    In the back corner there was a bay mare, been there at least a month, 12yo. A little cranky, probably either sore or possibly got some ulcers going on after being there a month. I really liked her, but I keep talking myself out of her-- she's not particularly fancy, a bit funny conformationally, but a super kind soul and offered me an easy lead change. A cute mover as well, not a world beater but cute. Considering this was a dealers of the truest sense, I literally rode her in the barn aisle.

                    I'm not sure what to do. She's likely worth what they're asking, but it's hard to tell. I am guessing she'll need ulcer treatment which is an extra couple hundred a month I hadn't counted on. Not sure where to go from here.
                    Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
                    you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.

                    Comment


                    • Alterageous – I’m not sure what the best decision is for you in this situation. For myself, I’ve never had a question in my mind about any of my three. With each of them, it was love at first sight. However, I’ve had friends who went back and forth about a horse, sort of like you with this bay mare, and ended up growing to positively adore the horse. I think you’ll just have to weigh the positives (how willing/kind, and how cute of a mover she was), the negatives (a little sour, possible ulcers), and the unknowns to determine whether you feel she’s worth it to you. Keep us posted! I know you’ll find the right one, whether it’s the bay mare or another horse.

                      I had my little lesson yesterday on Velvet. I feel like I learned *a lot* and my friend made me feel really good about my equitation. She was happy with how good I looked in the saddle, just gave me a couple of pointers. For instance, Velvet’s been tossing her head a little when I ask her to trot. I hadn’t realized, but as a defense mechanism, I’ve started grabbing her up with the reins when she transitions, which is only making it worse. Between steadying my hands and transitioning W/T/W/T until there was no head tossing, we had her doing *beautiful* transitions yesterday. Also, my friend had me drop my stirrups W/T and gave me *awesome* instructions for riding that way. I felt so secure.

                      The crappy thing is that I’m *so* out of shape, and my horses are *so* out of shape, that both Velvet and I were done for after like 20 minutes of real work. Hahaha! I only did W/T, but my friend says she wants us to canter next time, ‘cause she doesn’t see anything wrong with my position in the saddle and doesn’t see any reason I shouldn’t be able to do it from a logistics standpoint. She knows it’s just mental for me, and if I want her to get on and canter Velvet first, she will.

                      I might actually get to lesson with *her* instructor next weekend if schedules work out. If not, I’m sure she could give me another lesson. Either way, I’m so looking forward to it!
                      ~*~*~*~Founding member of the Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique~*~*~*~

                      The equine love of my life: Gabriel
                      4/6/1993 - 8/23/2015 ...RIP my big, beautiful boy <3

                      Comment


                      • Alterageous, I'm not sure if you should get that horse or not. I think I would definitely have to get a good PPE, even if it's a low-cost horse. Like you said, if it is ulcers, that's not cheap to care for. I may be hesitant with that. And they can be a recurring problem with some horses. Might be easier to not get that horse before you fall in love with it!

                        ClassyRide, talk about out of shape! Spending about 4 sedentary months, I am way out of shape. I hate it. I need to lose a few pounds. And my "pony" is slowing getting back in shape, too.

                        My last few rides have gone really well. I ended up buying some MDC stirrups with the adjustable "eye" and they're flexible. They really help my ankle! Love them.

                        Supposed to be a NICE weekend here. (68º or so!). It is the first show of the season that I usually do, but will have to miss this one till we both are in better condition. I'm bummed, though, as it's an all-jumpers show. Sigh.
                        “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                        ¯ Oscar Wilde

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                        • Alteragerous, I read your post several times. It sounds as if you don't really want the mare. I sensed none of the excitement of your posts about the paint pony.

                          Maybe you should keep looking.
                          I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                          Comment


                          • I am very out of shape also. Awhile ago, some of us promised to report on our modest exercise goals weekly. Anyone else up for this? I mean, I really should do some stretching exercises and walk a bit. I'm so lazy.
                            I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                            Comment


                            • CR, great news about the lesson. You'll be cantering before you know it!
                              I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Dewey View Post
                                I am very out of shape also. Awhile ago, some of us promised to report on our modest exercise goals weekly. Anyone else up for this? I mean, I really should do some stretching exercises and walk a bit. I'm so lazy.
                                Dewey, I am right there with you. I consider today a success because I didn't bake cookies and eat them all, and I took the dog for a walk.
                                Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
                                you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.

                                Comment


                                • Dewey, I'm IN!!! I haven't done squat today. But I will make an honest effort this week. I HAVE to.

                                  soloudinhere -- mm...cookies. My absolute downfall. I have a bag of chocolate chips downstairs just begging to be made into Tollhouse cookies. Sigh. I also have a bunch of fruit which I need to eat instead.
                                  “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                                  ¯ Oscar Wilde

                                  Comment


                                  • Originally posted by ParadoxFarm View Post
                                    Dewey, I'm IN!!! I haven't done squat today. But I will make an honest effort this week. I HAVE to.

                                    soloudinhere -- mm...cookies. My absolute downfall. I have a bag of chocolate chips downstairs just begging to be made into Tollhouse cookies. Sigh. I also have a bunch of fruit which I need to eat instead.
                                    I tried to console myself with greek yogurt, and that failed. I'm sure I will turn these M&Ms into cookies before the day is done.
                                    Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
                                    you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.

                                    Comment


                                    • soloudinhere, I hate to say I would do the same thing! Maybe we can all be motivation to each other. I guess we need to hear some people that are having some success with all this health and fitness. Winter did me in this year. I had to sell my treadmill as my doctors said that is not the proper exercise for me after my broken ankle. He suggests a bike or rower. I have a spin bike, but darn that this is uncomfortable. I should just ride my outdoor bike.

                                      We need before and after pics. Hmm. Wonder if there's a website or something we can create/join for those that want to participate. Anyone have any ideas? For the love of my horse, I need to get fit! My goal is to drop 30 pounds.
                                      “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                                      ¯ Oscar Wilde

                                      Comment


                                      • I need to lose about 40lbs.

                                        My situation is complicated by living in hotels as much as 4 nights a week for work. This past year I gained 20lbs because I ate out literally 3 meals a day, more than 50% of the time.

                                        I'm actually having a hard time adjusting to being at home.
                                        Originally posted by PeanutButterPony
                                        you can shackle your pony to a lawn chair at the show...so long as its in a conservative color.

                                        Comment


                                        • Omg, I'm SO in with the weight loss stuff! I know there are Facebook groups, so we could create one of those. Or, didn't Xanga (the blog website) have a thing to join different groups? It's been so many years since I used that, but maybe we could all do blogs on a certain site and follow each other.

                                          Personally, I'm very impressed with myself that I've already lost 5 pounds since finishing my degree, but I have another 15ish to go. I *hope* I still have that 5 pounds off, anyway. I've been so busy with the horses that I've completely neglected the gym the last few weeks.
                                          ~*~*~*~Founding member of the Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique~*~*~*~

                                          The equine love of my life: Gabriel
                                          4/6/1993 - 8/23/2015 ...RIP my big, beautiful boy <3

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