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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Well, then maybe Chico is opinionated. He could definitely eat 53 times a day! Maybe I will be brave tomorrow and post a short video of each. You can definitely see the SWB attitude in the video (though we love him anyway), and Chico's willingness.
    Last edited by ParadoxFarm; Nov. 2, 2012, 01:29 PM. Reason: Add
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ¯ Oscar Wilde


    • Pancakes, I am so sorry about your too short stint as a horse owner.

      Paradox - what a lovely, lovely horse!
      And nothing bad happened!


      • Pancakes - just read your thread on Breeding - about your new horse. So, so sorry.
        Last edited by CVPeg; Nov. 1, 2012, 08:47 PM.
        But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson


        • Pancakes how are you doing today?


          • Thank you, CVPeg, Hazel. Today it really sunk in and I cried quite a bit. I didn't go to the barn today at all since I knew it would be too hard to see him and I'd feel even more attached. I have to try to distance myself at all costs. He'll be leaving when I'm at work, so it'll be good. I am going to the barn tomorrow and saying goodbye before heading back to work. It's still heartbreaking, but I don't know what else to do. I'm lucky I'm getting my money back, though, and I am lucky for a lot of reasons. But it's sad to feel that connection, then have it broken, no matter how much you know you shouldn't get attached too early. He was my first horse I ever could say I owned though, you now? My first...

            Today I started looking for horses again. I found a few "maybe" prospects but I can't bring myself to feel excited about them. Maybe I'll feel differently when he's gone. At least I have an awesome lease horse in Paisley to love in the meantime.
            Thanks for asking guys. It's been an emotionally tiring 24 hours. I'm also sad to let everyone down who was so excited for me too. I appreciate everyone's thoughts, though. I'm sure you all remember how it was when you got your first horse.


            • Pancakes, I'm so sorry- how you feel is 100% understandable, and I'd feel the same way. Take you time in looking for another horse- don't push yourself if you're not emotionally ready.

              When I made the decision to part with my first horse after a year and a half, I was devastated even though I knew it was the right thing to do. For you to be upset after a short ownership period doesn't make you abnormal or anything, and don't think you've let anyone down. You are showing what a caring and HUMAN person you are. Give yourself time to grieve over it.
              Blog chronicling our new eventing adventures: Riding With Scissors


              • Hang in there Pancakes. No doubt about it, fate dealt you a crappy hand with this one. Just try to think about how grateful you are that he ended up with you, who took the time to find out about his history, which saved him from future pain and suffering. You have banked a lot of good will in the karma credit plan, and I am sure you will find the right horse at the end of it all.

                But in the meantime it really is unfair, and we all wish there was something we could do to help.
                Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson


                • Absolutely give yourself time to grieve, Pancakes. It was so obvious from the pictures and from your posts how excited you were and how much you loved him. It's going to take awhile to get over that. Remember that we are here for you. We know that it's not "just a horse."
                  I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                  • I'm sorry about your loss, too, Pancakes. Just because you had him such a short time doesn't mean you didn't fall hard. And looking at the pics, I totally understand. I am happy, as others have stated, that he made it to you. Maybe there was a reason for that. For sure you have saved that horse from hardship.

                    The right horse will happen along. Just be open to it when you are ready. I found my current two when I wasn't looking. I just always have my eyes and ears open. Good luck.

                    Oh, and I'm totally with you on not being there. It is hard to see an empty stall, but for me, it's harder to watch them go. I was not home when my last horse left for her new home. Luckily my husband was able to take care of it. I would have cried like a baby in front of the new owners, so I would have been worthless anyway.
                    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                    ¯ Oscar Wilde


                    • Pancakes so sorry, I read the thread yesterday and I just cannot believe what happened. But I will say that I lost my lease horse to colic after about 2 months and could not go back to riding and horses for another 8 months. However, that is when I found my heart horse, my 20 year old retired guy now.

                      Keep your heart open for your next friend he/she is out there looking for you...


                      • Hi everybody! I think maybe I qualify to be in this thread… I took some Walk/Trot lessons as a 10 year old, but had to stop due to my parents’ financial strain (that’s all the further I ever got!). Then, as a twenty-something, I decided to work at a Dressage barn to get some horse-handling knowledge and to save up money to buy my first horse. Now, as a 31 year old, I’ve really succumb to the potato chip syndrome and have three horses (including the “first” guy). I’ve been back in the saddle for …is it 8 years already? I can’t believe it. And I’ve done a lot of firsts in my adult riding life (cantering, going on trail rides, jumping little crossrails and cavaletti, riding out some bucking fits, coming off at a very fast trot/almost canter [unrelated to bucking], my first flying dismount during a spook, etc). Hahaha – lots of things I’ve experienced since coming back to riding! And I have a big “fear” problem now that I didn’t have when I was young. Oy!

                        In any case, I haven’t read through this entire thread, but Pancakes’ story touched my heart and prompted me to post. I am SO sorry that you had to go through this experience, but you’ve done an incredible thing by finding out his history and saving both him and yourself a lot of pain and heartache later on. He is *extremely* lucky that he landed in your care.

                        I, myself, had an experience not exactly the same as yours, but I went through the same emotional pain. As mentioned above, I worked at a Dressage barn to save up money to purchase my first horse. I was shocked when one of the young ladies decided she was going to sell her 13 year old flea-bitten grey TB Gelding. He had always been one of my favorites to lead in and out of the pasture – such a solid citizen and so sweet. I made her an offer on him dependent on a trial lesson since I hadn’t ridden in almost 15 years. A week or so passed before I was able to have my lesson, and in that week I fell *entirely* in love with him. Even my Mom was already congratulating me on reaching one of my lifelong goals of horse ownership. She came to see him at the stable to “meet her new grandchild.”

                        Then, the lesson. The horse did absolutely nothing wrong, but I found out that an old ankle injury of mine had created so much scar tissue that I was in searing pain when riding. Every step he took was like a knife as my ankle flexed, even at the walk. I was bawling 15 minutes in, I was in so much pain. The riding instructor recommended I get physical therapy on the ankle before I think about purchasing a horse. She did not think it was a good idea for me to get him when I couldn’t ride for more than a few minutes.

                        It broke my heart to pieces, but I had to let him go. I cried many times over, and still to this day I wonder where he ended up, and I hope and pray that he’s happy and healthy and living the life of Ryan somewhere. Thankfully, you know your guy is going to a wonderful place, but that doesn’t make the pain any less. I know how you feel – please know that it was the *right* decision.

                        I know you will find your perfect horse, but please do not rush. I had to wait a few months as I went through physical therapy, but I literally found the horse of my dreams – through a rescue, oddly and completely by chance, right about the time I was getting ready to start searching again. If I’d gotten the first guy, I never would’ve been able to afford my horse-of-a-lifetime. I sincerely feel that everything happens for a reason.

                        Hang in there – we’re all here for you.
                        ~*~*~*~Founding member of the Spotted Saddlebred Pals Clique~*~*~*~

                        The equine love of my life: Gabriel
                        4/6/1993 - 8/23/2015 ...RIP my big, beautiful boy <3


                        • Welcome, classyrider! So, did the pt really help the ankle? Are you feeling better riding now? I am interested because I was just put in a cast for an ankle fracture. Funny thing, though, when I rode, it never hurt. It was walking on the ground that got to me.

                          Tell us about your horses.
                          “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                          ¯ Oscar Wilde


                          • Pancakes, there's a thread in the Off-Course forum you may want to contribute to; I forget what it's called, but it has "snooping" in the title. The OP is wondering how much research on a for-sale horse is acceptable. I didn't want to speak for you, but I thought you might have something to say on the topic.
                            I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                            • Welcome, ClassyRide! Very interesting post.
                              I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne


                              • Pancakes, I can only imagine how devastated you must be. You'll know when you're ready to try again...

                                Anyway... the Golden Morgan has laminitis in her right front hoof. It was a very atypical presentation (not to mention that she is a very stoic horse) and I was lucky to have the vet and the (new awesome) farrier at the barn at the same time, because it really took both of them to figure out what was going on. She does have some rotation, which is not good, and there may still be other things going on, but for now we are being optimistic. She has a good trim (at last), new shoes, padding in her frogs, and a treatment regimen. I won't be riding her for a while, but have a one day per week lease on one of my BO's nice schoolies.

                                This was at least partially induced by bad farriery practice. As with Pancakes... I am bit disgusted that people in the horse business will take your money and do you wrong.
                                You have to have experiences to gain experience.

                                1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"


                                • Sorry to hear that quietann. Here's to same good farrier and vet work and a good prognosis!
                                  “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
                                  ¯ Oscar Wilde


                                  • Wow everyone, thank you for the support. Today it's a little easier. I went to the barn and gave him a few cookies and a quick pat and a "thank you" for the times we had. He was happily munching some hay and didn't seem like he felt one way or the other about seeing me. He seemed happy. He will go back tomorrow morning. I'll always think about him but I know that he'll be okay in the end. My trainer has been wonderful too and is going to help me keep looking, though we're going to be somewhat picky (which we really can't afford to do with my budget, but that's neither here nor there).

                                    It is really inspiring to hear everyone's stories about how their current "right" one came along by happenstance, and I thank you all for sharing them. Maybe this will be the case for me? I feel like everyone keeps saying that about men in my life and now horses, so I guess I just have to keep waiting. Tarheel, Dewey, PH, Paradox...thank you for your comfort and making me feel like it's okay to be upset over this. I'll get through it.

                                    StolenVirtue, I can't imagine how terrible that must have been for you to lose your lease horse. Traumatizing, and certainly that break must have been the only thing that made sense at the time. Of course we go back to it, but that must have been a very difficult time for you.

                                    Classyrider, I'm really touched that my story brought you here to this thread. Your story is really heartbreaking as well...to be so close, then to have to give it away. The buildup is so magical and brings you back to that special place in your childhood...but the letdown is really indescribable and I KNOW how you must have felt. Is your ankle better now? I'm glad you were eventually able to find the right one. We welcome you with open arms to this thread as we all are in very similar situations, going through bucking, jumping, lead changes, and various other mental and physical challenges that come with being an adult re-rider.

                                    Quietann, I hope your horse recuperates quickly...such a shame about shady people in this business. It's unnecessary, really, and in the end the horse suffers.

                                    Thank you again everyone. I'll check in as much as possible and let you know how it's going with the search and Paisley. ****HUGS**** to everyone. This hurts but the horse is alive and no worse physically then he was before, and I'm getting my money back, so really I have that to be thankful for.


                                    • Pancakes - so much good advice above. Hard to top it.
                                      But I can identify when you've lost your heart, and then have to walk away. And how could you not looking at that face?!?

                                      But I truly think you will find another wonderful one - there are so many! And after some time together, it will lessen the sting, and you'll be just about good as new.

                                      You did such a wonderful thing - for both you and the horse - by searching his history. Would guess you've imagined the outcome if you hadn't.

                                      Hope your cure is just around the corner.
                                      But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson


                                      • This post is about my evil, evil trainer.

                                        At the end of the year banquet for our local show association last year, I won a gift certificate toward show fees, etc. Due to mostly my mental issues with riding this year, I have not used it and the last show of the year is tomorrow.

                                        On Tuesday, when I was out soaking Finn's feet, I got a text from said trainer asking if I wanted to show, or did I want her to show Finn. I opted for having her show him.

                                        Today was show prep, haul in and school day. This morning, my Evil Trainer informed me that I should have my show gear ready for tomorrow since she entered me in the Adult W/T classes. Gulp.

                                        For some reason, early this morning I had gotten out the jacket, pulled out the noose shirt and the breeches. Was going to take them just in case I got brave or something.

                                        The ET rode him first - thanks to his feet, he hadn't been ridden since last Sunday. She is showing him in the intermediate hunters. My horse never looked at a thing - and the show staff had some interesting jumps in the ring - lots of pumpkins, hay bales, straw bales. He is absolutely beautiful over jumps - snaps his knees up and looks like he is having a ball. He did so well, she took him over to where the bigger jumps live and jumped a few there - and he did great.

                                        Then it was my turn. Gulp. I got on while she schooled another rider in the ring and we just walked. He so had his big boy walk going and I know he wanted to run around and jump some more, but he was so good.

                                        Then, the highlight of my day: We went into the ring we will be showing in. And did trot circles - smallish. With the big stride big boy trot. And I rode my horse. And I corrected him when he got fast going toward the gate and we kept on trucking. And we went to the dreaded right and I kept my left shoulder back and posted it like a big kid. The ET said, and I quote, "That looks very pretty."

                                        Now the last lesson I had on Finn was pretty ugly. Every time we tried to circle right, he bulged left, as in way left. And it was all me and my left shoulder. Such a good feeling to pull it out and do it correctly!!!

                                        And nothing bad happened!


                                        • Nice job, Jaslyn! Glad it went well for you.

                                          Welcome aboard, ClassyRide. Hope you enjoy this group.

                                          And Pancakes....what can I say besides "that really sucks!" I hope you find a great horse soon.

                                          Mr. All Better, (formerly Mr. Stall Rest, then Mr. Rehab) had yet another vet recheck today. He walked, trotted and cantered soundly BOTH directions, including the corners! He was very surprised about being asked to canter. The vet said after he gets reshod he will take one more set of xrays, and then we are cleared for normal work and turnout! He will have to come back slowly, of course, and it will be a while before we start jumping again, but maybe there are some horse shows in our future.

                                          Going to Lexington tomorrow and Sunday for the Alltech National Horse Show. Some of the people from my barn are competing. One of our horses won a class yesterday, which is very cool.

                                          Have a great weekend, everyone!
                                          It's 2018. Do you know where your old horse is?

                                          www.streamhorsetv.com -- website with horse show livestream listings and links.