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Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

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  • Thanks Ray. I will definitely look into EMDR if necessary. I'm a total geek so I've got some apps for my ipad to help me with the performance anxiety.

    Bumknees - keep your chin up. Don't lose faith in your own ability to fight your way back from the stroke. You can do it. Horse people are tough and you have it in you. Just let the embarrassment go. Its not important.

    I, for one, am happy to support you with my words if I can.
    You don't scare me. I ride a MARE!

    Comment


    • So good to hear from you bumknees! I am sure you are frustrated - I know I would be. So just telling you to cheer up probably won't help. But I can tell you these things:

      1) Your writing/spelling continues to greatly improve on your posts, so you are definitely making progress.

      2) Lots of people suck at math (me included). If you have to use a calculator, no big deal. That is why they were invented.

      3) Your attitude is great - being committed to helping others while you are out of the saddle, and working towards concrete goals for getting back on Toby.

      4) It's OK to cry every now and then. What happened to you sucks. Just know that you will get through this!

      5) As equisusan said above, your re-rider compatriots are here to listen to you, and provide words of encouragement, any time.

      Hazel: Congrats to your daughter on her Reserve Championship! And you are such a good mom to shelf your own showing for a while for her benefit. The selflessness exhibited by so many parents never ceases to amaze me.

      Dewey: glad Sky is doing well.

      PH: major props to you for doing what is best for your previous horse, even though it is hard. That is the difference bewteen merely being a rider, and being a horseperson.

      Vet visit tomorrow on the cryo/sarcoids. I'll let everyone know how it goes.
      Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson

      Comment


      • Bumknees, hang in there! I've known other people who have found they have less control over crying and other emotional expression after a stroke, but that, like most things, can improve with time and therapy.

        Stick with therapy! And BTW, brushing horses could be super good for both your arms. It was part of my informal "PT" after my accident... I had had "frozen shoulders" on both sides 8 years previously, and with the plate and everything after the accident, my left shoulder was threatening to freeze up again. I just started brushing any horse who would stand still for it, using both hands. It really helped.
        You have to have experiences to gain experience.

        1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"

        Comment


        • bumknees - I cry all the time. I cry at happy movies and sad movies. I cry watching fluff bios in sports coverage. I cry (looking the other way) when my 12 year old is a smart ass. Crying is because you are willing to look life in the eye and stare it down. You are brave! You will get back to horses!
          You hate that, don’t you? Do you like oysters? You have to acquire a taste for oysters and the deep distance.”
          -- George H. Morris on learning to love the deep distance

          Comment


          • thanks guys... Im just not use't to it...I guess.
            Oh Out of the blue my neighbr called yeser to aks if i wantedto go and see Toby today... I cant wait.
            It is anazaing sinine I can not drive and DH works weird hrs people when they have time ( which isnt always and I undsand) offer to take me out to see Toby. I wish there was something I could do for them, I know there there is nothing I could do cuz they would not take any thing for doing it. But I wish they would, if you were them and you were to thak some thing for doing this waht wold you want.
            Friend of bar .ka

            Comment


            • Everyone likes brownies, cookies, banana bread, or muffins/cupcakes!

              If someone has dietary restrictions, such as diabetes, you may be able to find a recipe for something sugar free, or gluten free, etc.
              Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson

              Comment


              • Bumkness- have a great visit with Toby! Agree with the others, I can tell you sound better in your posts. Keep up the good work! Gift card to a favorite restaurant works well or heck, even a gas gift card, it hit $3.52 here this AM.

                HazelG- congrats to your daughter and sigh about making the "mom" decision to put your showing on hold for her. I know my parents did this sort of thing for me when I was growing up and I knew and appreciated it.

                I've quite a couple of weeks, which is essentially a book!

                High/low lights include flat tire on the way to the barn in a cell dead zone, texted my trainer and her husband came and put on my spare.

                Schoolmaster I was leasing to see if we could bring him back in to work reinjured himself and is now retired. Sob. We were just really starting to have a good time.

                Totally confused my lesson horse, the Sweetheart (only 6) and ended up spinning in a little circle. Trainer was bringing me my crop but said if I didn't get her going forward before she got to us she was going to use the crop on me! Got her going forward without crop while trying not to fall off from laughing.

                Temporarily on the Little Grey Mare, the first horse I rode when I started at the barn. She is cute and sweet. We had a good ride last night even though I was still upset about the Schoolmaster (he was down in his pasture).

                And now, as is truly my luck, the hurricane is probably going to rain out my Thursday lesson. Something does NOT want me to have two lessons in a row!!

                Hope everyone on the east coast stays safe and can get some riding in.

                Comment


                • New re-rider!

                  Hi everyone! I am usually just on COTH reading but iechris convinced me to join this thread. She and I ride together (well, as long as it isn't raining), and I am so happy to be riding again after taking a break during law school. After I graduated, I ended moving from NC to SC for my job, and even though it took a little while, I feel very lucky because I am now riding at a great barn with an amazing trainer. I have been leasing a horse for a few months and riding 4-5 times a week, so I am finally starting to feel a little like my old self. I have really enjoyed reading your posts and hearing about your progress - you are all amazing! It is also nice to know that I am not the only person out there who struggles with balancing a job, family, and horses, but I can't imagine horses not being a part of my life, so I am determined to make it work!!
                  ~ Mirror Image (1998-2010) ~

                  Comment


                  • I am jealous AAHunter - there is no way I can get to the barn 4 or 5 times a week! You are one of the luckiest lawyers I know! So glad iechris convinced you to come onboard!

                    The vet said the sarcoid areas look exactly like he wants them to - YAY! I will spare you any photos though, because the spots where the cryo was done look really raw right now. He said 2 to 3 weeks and we should be able to tack up again.

                    Between Sunday and today, Tajar managed to throw the same shoe he threw a month ago But since we aren't riding right now, it wasn't too big of a deal. And the farrier was already scheduled to come tomorrow.

                    Headed to the beach for Labor Day, so no riding this weekend. Hope everyone else gets in some good saddle time over the holiday.
                    Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson

                    Comment


                    • Glad to see you back on here, Bumknees! You seem to be improving every time you post. Hope you get some good visits with Toby.

                      Welcome to new posters, and a high five to all who have helped us get to 2000 posts.

                      Tarheel, glad the sacroids are looking like good sacroids should.

                      Mr. Rehab took a major step backwards today. He came out of his stall totally lame on the "good" front foot. And, off on the "bad-but-improving" foot. Barn had the vet out, and xrays don't show anything on the left (formerly good) foot, but show his coffin bone on the right (formerly bad) foot changing angle, and going down too close to his sole. He's wearing some Soft Ride booties right now, and has a recheck on Thursday. All this happened about a week after we were cleared for a bit more work, and we have not been overdoing it. So I'm totally bummed out, and close to emotional escalation, aka meltdown.

                      My barn friends and the barn staff are being great, but the barn owner says he's very concerned. He doesn't say that very often. I'll be doing the happy dance if an abscess pops out!
                      It's 2017. Do you know where your old horse is?

                      www.streamhorsetv.com -- website with horse show livestream listings and links.

                      Comment


                      • Welcome. AAHunter! This has been a fun group.

                        Bumknees, I agree that you sound much better! As for your saddle, I used to ride in a PDN, and mine had a 17" seat. I am small (5'), so you may find a 17" small enough. These are easily available and not expensive. Good luck!

                        I am so glad you have able to visit Toby, and I agree with iechris that a gas card would be an appropriate thank-you gift!

                        pony4me, what a drag. You must be so frustrated at Mr. Rehab's setback! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's an abscess.

                        Tarheel, great news about the sarcoids!

                        Rode Skylark (my pet name for her) yesterday for about 20 mins before the heavens opened. She was very good considering the thunder and swirling wind. Even got one nice lead change in before we rushed back to the barn.
                        I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                        Comment


                        • Welcome AAHunter!

                          Tarheel that's great news!

                          Pony4me no words of wisdom but a sending lots of support. Sounds like the general trend is positive with a setback. We'll just keep hoping it's just that, a small setback, not a total change. Try not to panic, it never helps. Keep us posted, and I'll keep all my fingers crossed for Mr. Rehab's continued recovery

                          Comment


                          • The vist with Toby was wondeful. Lots of suffels..
                            Im on way out of town to Manassass Va. to see my uncle who is turning 80 this weekend. Gosh what do you get an 80yr old who has everything he wants, needs, ect. you got me...

                            tarehkeel I'm gald tht it's only a sarcoid. that meins(sp sorry) soon you can gets back sooner rather than later.2-3 weeks is sooner..

                            pony4me so soory mr rehab seems to be tossing new thing your way.

                            AAhunter welcome. you well have to excuse my speling im the brain damaged one. Im working on it. But welcome all the same. This is a wonful goup of people. Who will support, help you get you though diffiut times ( will pm if you havent post it a while to see if ok), encourage you, etc. //without makeing you feel alwakard about things. Well I imaging some thing are off limits... but you get idea. Welcome.
                            Friend of bar .ka

                            Comment


                            • Bumknees - so glad you got to see Toby - I bet he was just has happy as you were!

                              I too like the relatively flat saddles - love my Crosby PDN!

                              pony4me - Hope Mr. Rehab is is over is lame on the good foot issue. Sheesh - horses!

                              AAHunter - welcome to the group!

                              Iechris - I manage to confuse my poor horse in every lesson. But, think I have figured out part of it - when circling to the left, slight weight on left butt cheek; to the right, the right cheek. Well, yours truly seems to use the left one going both ways and wonders why her horse bulges..........Duh!
                              And nothing bad happened!

                              Comment


                              • Hi, everyone - long time no visit! As pony4me said not too long ago, not much to report while "waiting for paint to dry". Been waiting since early July for Bagavond's feet to right themselves and grow back in. Finally located a wonderful new farrier who did a spectacular - and reasonable! job on him 3 weeks ago. Still some patches in place, and today a nail started to come out where one of the patches chipped off. How convenient to have the farrier in the next town over!! Fixed by this afternoon.

                                In the meantime, in conversation a couple of weeks ago, he ok'd our riding since the indoor has such a good surface, and quiet outdoor riding. Well, "quiet" and "outdoor" have rarely been in the same sentence with B...

                                So haven't had a lesson since...the end of June?!? But getting some set up for next week. Can't wait!

                                In the meantime...we've accomplished some great things! While quietly riding in the indoor with the BO about a week and a half ago, I brought B into the middle while she took her turn and cantered the rail. If you can recall, cantering with B has not been exactly straightforward. Very off balance - has some issues, but not really expected to keep him from cantering. Plus still having that racing mentality, cantering had equaled fast. Well, while BO cantered around, B was paying attention. It finally dawned on me - duh! - that perhaps he'd 'get it' by seeing what the other horse was asked to do. Had her come in the middle, moved him out at the trot, asked in a corner for a canter, and voila! Cantering in the indoor! Finally! Hadn't accomplished it since we moved to the new barn in April. It wasn't beautiful, but definitely less volatile than at the old barn when cantering included buck after buck after buck. Think having 24/7 turnout now helps? I do! I was so psyched.

                                2nd accomplishment happened yesterday. The weather has been so perfect. The huge hayfield across the street was cut last week. Wandered over there at a walk with BO and her WB. Bagavond did a little heart pounding, and some side stepping, but we returned fine. Sunday took a walk down through the trail behind the barn. A little bit of heart pounding when we heard bushes rustling. But curiosity prodded him on. I was so proud, but a little on alert... Yesterday? BOs big hayfield was just cut a couple of days ago. She suggested we try walking along that. It must be a quarter mile long. And last year, as we attempted any field from that barn, it resulted in histrionics, bucking, and the ultimate road landing once. Let alone loads of wiggling, squiggling, whinnying, and squealing. Yesterday? We walked down the depth of the field, along the woods edge the entire length, back up to the road, and back along the entire length without one heart flutter or squeal, or thought-crossing-brain of taking off. I can always feel his excitement. He was tuned into me, and alert, but listened the entire time. He was perfect.

                                In a way, it's a little sad, as I know now that his TB instinct, and significant racing history is being unlearned. Very good for me of course, and maybe now him, too, to be a good riding horse. But still in all, having that racehorse begin to subside is a little melancholy. Although sure he'll remember sometime soon!

                                OK, in the meantime, I've read all the entries from the past month, and it's so good catching up with you all. And all the new members!! Terrific!

                                Bumknees! You sound much better! Yes, sounds like darn! having to have PT with horses - well, couldn't it be more perfect? So glad to hear you're doing better. Please don't be hard on yourself - must be frustrating, but before you know it you'll be back again.

                                Regarding the "why do we ride so differently/perfectionist theory"? I've seen some change in training over the years, i.e. perhaps not the consistency of training I used to see. My last barn the trainer was a drama queen, and they were back stabbers - lots of unprofessionalism by those who claim to be exactly that. Could be part of it.

                                Could also be - and excuse me for bringing it up - but as we get older, especially now at these ages (I'm 58) I think we do get dismissed perhaps a bit easier. So maybe a trainer isn't cueing in on exactly what the problem is, or isn't as sensitive to the fact that, no, we're not going to hop right on and do as you suggest - because we have a lot going on in our minds - much more responsiblity than as kids or young adults, and perhaps we don't get it "instantly". But I've also seen trainers finally take a few minutes to really look over what is going on - as Jas's did - and can figure it out once they think about it over time.
                                Originally posted by equisusan View Post
                                For me it was important to have the right trainer support. I used to ride with a super technical trainer and that fried my brain as I tried to lift my right hand a quarter of an inch and shift my weight slightly from one hip to the other and walk long bending lines in the jumper ring. Ahhhhhh!!! Not for me. I'm an old fashioned hunter girl.

                                I for sure could get in better shape but I think the most important things for me to stay safe and enjoy showing will be confidence and learning some anti-anxiety skills. I can ride just fine but your mind can mess with you. I do this for fun and I'm determined to settle my mind down so it will be fun.
                                Totally agree - also old H/J rider. Beautifully put.

                                Originally posted by quietann View Post
                                And BTW, brushing horses could be super good for both your arms. It was part of my informal "PT" after my accident... I just started brushing any horse who would stand still for it, using both hands. It really helped.
                                I would be happy to volunteer B! He loves to roll in mud! Just spent an hour with him yesterday. Got lots of shoulder involvement. As an aside, learned that those pricker removing rake type combs? They're great for removing mud balls from manes!

                                Originally posted by bumknees View Post
                                thanks guys... Im just not use't to it...I guess.
                                Oh Out of the blue my neighbr called yeser to aks if i wantedto go and see Toby today... I cant wait.
                                You know, the best gift might just be what they are getting out of helping you. Hope that doesn't sound wrong. But perhaps they also appreciate your friendship, and are glad to be able to pay you back?

                                Originally posted by pony4me View Post
                                Mr. Rehab took a major step backwards today. xrays show his coffin bone on the right (formerly bad) foot changing angle, and going down too close to his sole. He's wearing some Soft Ride booties right now, and has a recheck on Thursday. All this happened about a week after we were cleared for a bit more work, and we have not been overdoing it. So I'm totally bummed out, and close to emotional escalation, aka meltdown.
                                Pony - hope all turns out well - fingers crossed.

                                TarheelJD - thanks for the pictures. Really looks different than it did on the tube. The dressage ring looks larger on TV, and the jumps larger in the photos! It must have been an awesome experience. So glad you got to go!!

                                Dewey - sorry about your daughter off to college and the accident - at least no one is hurt. Hope you don't miss her too much!

                                Finally, I get to join the gimp club. Broke my right pinky toe for about the 5th time 2 weeks ago. Sat bolt upright in bed the night before I was volunteering at an all TB show (show was very cool...) to run down and print up the directions, and met a dresser along the way. Still riding when I can, but slowly doing everything else. Plus put on a couple of pounds I can't afford to add, as I usually run around all day, but am moving slowly... But it's only a toe...

                                OK - enough for now! Enjoyed reading how everyone's doing! Have a great Labor Day weekend!
                                But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson

                                Comment


                                • Thanks for the support, folks. You have no idea how much it means to me.

                                  Vet was out again, and will get with farrier to review xrays and get a shoeing plan. Until then, he's wrapped and comfy and can go out in the round pen for an hour or so if it's not raining. No riding.

                                  On a different note, over on the Giveaways forum, there's a post entitled "Underpriviledged Teen needs riding clothes" Or something like that. Great story, and many people stepping up to help. I don't have anything in the girl's size, so I'm going to send some money to be put towards a helmet.

                                  And it's Off Topic Weekend! I am so ready.

                                  Happy Labor Day!
                                  It's 2017. Do you know where your old horse is?

                                  www.streamhorsetv.com -- website with horse show livestream listings and links.

                                  Comment


                                  • Happy Three Day (I hope) Weekend to All

                                    My homework assignment from my trainer at the end of last weeks lesson was to ride with a stick under my thumbs because when I get tense I ride like I am shifting gears. Although I have dowels at home I could have cut to size, I am such a klutz, couldn't figure out a way to put a loop on it so if I dropped it wouldn't have to get off to retrieve. So, I now own a crop.

                                    On the Been There Done That Don't Bang Me in the Mouth mare with my thumbs over said stick. That went fine, yes I CAN ride off my seat and legs with my hands still - how about that! Until my thumbs cramped - yes it sucks to get older....

                                    So, I put the crop away and just concentrated on keeping my hands still. And it was an epiphany of sorts - the mare went much better without me shifting gears! Even managed a canter both ways with my hands in place, but soft, and it was the best canter we have ever done.

                                    The other thing I did was concentrate on where my butt cheeks were - and yes, I do tend to stay on the left no matter what direction I am going. Amazing how that makes the ride so much easier when I shift accordingly.

                                    On a side note, just for amusement - the filly stays in a pasture with Ms. Been There etc. and another mare. Well, both mares got ridden today - and I had to get Been There, etc. after the other was already out.

                                    So, there I am, standing at the gate, my horse in tow, with Ms. Princess totally in my space, as in leaning her head on my arm and occasionally giving me a snuff in the neck, and she would not move for anything. Push - nope. Shove - nope. Whack with lead rope - nope. She is cute as can be and very sweet, but at 6 months old, stubborn as can be. I finally had to get help to get her "off of me" so I could get out the gate.
                                    And nothing bad happened!

                                    Comment


                                    • CVPeg--great to hear from you again! Sounds as if you and B are making excellent progress!

                                      Sky threw a shoe recently, but I have been wrapping the edge of her hoof in duct tape and riding her lightly. She is not at all lame.

                                      Today I coached the IEA kids at their practice because BO is off at a show. It was fun. Had the kids canter a course of poles which is really tricky if you've ever tried it. Before that had them do some flat work and trade horses--put one of the girls on Sky, and guess what?...one of my vintage 1979 stirrup leathers broke! No harm done, the girl didn't fall off or anything--glad it didn't happen when we were jumping!

                                      The bright side is that I now have an excuse for ordering a pair of Gary Mundy stirrup leathers, which I have been coveting for some time! I emailed Gary when I got home, and he answered right away! I should have my new leathers in about a week--am so excited!
                                      I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound. --Nathaniel Hawthorne

                                      Comment


                                      • So it has been awhile since I posted. Things have been going well with the baby, I have someone who comes and rides him Tues.through Friday and she is a very good rider and I can work long days. I ride on the weekends for now. He is getting better and stronger.

                                        We had a tough day today. I turned him out and my daughter rode the old guy. I was walking the baby back up to his paddock when the 6 horse trailer decided to pull out in front of us and he comes unglued. He spun and spun the trailer finally left. I think I have him calmed down and then he runs on the road with me attached for about 20 feet. I just came back from the ER nothing broken but bad road rash.He is just fine, he ran up the internal driveway, turned around and then ran to the cross ties where my older horse was. I really hurt, but I'm thinking OK got this out of the way. Baby injury-check.

                                        Pony4me so sorry about your guy, set backs suck.

                                        So, happy labor day !

                                        Comment


                                        • Holy Horse Bolt, SV! Glad to hear you are both ok. I have a deep sense of awe and appreciation for those who work with young horses. Their bodies mature much faster than their brains.

                                          Happy Labor Day, everyone!
                                          It's 2017. Do you know where your old horse is?

                                          www.streamhorsetv.com -- website with horse show livestream listings and links.

                                          Comment

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