Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You're responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the Forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it--details of personal disputes may be better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts, though are not legally obligated to do so, regardless of content.

Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting. Moderators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts unless they have been alerted and have determined that a post, thread or user has violated the Forums' policies. Moderators do not regularly independently monitor the Forums for such violations.

Profanity, outright vulgarity, blatant personal insults or otherwise inappropriate statements will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Users may provide their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, individuals, etc.; however, accounts involving allegations of criminal behavior against named individuals or companies MUST be first-hand accounts and may NOT be made anonymously.

If a situation has been reported upon by a reputable news source or addressed by law enforcement or the legal system it is open for discussion, but if an individual wants to make their own claims of criminal behavior against a named party in the course of that discussion, they too must identify themselves by first and last name and the account must be first-person.

Criminal allegations that do not satisfy these requirements, when brought to our attention, may be removed pending satisfaction of these criteria, and we reserve the right to err on the side of caution when making these determinations.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it's understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users' profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses -- Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it's related to a horse for sale, regardless of who's selling it, it doesn't belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions -- Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services -- Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products -- While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements -- Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be "bumped" excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues -- Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators' discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the �alert� button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your �Ignore� list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you'd rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user's membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 5/9/18)
See more
See less

Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Can we have an adult re-rider support group?

    Maybe we already do, in which case, sorry!

    I have had a rough week and I'm possibly over-analysing this, but I'm sure other re-riders have had these feelings too.

    I'm a working mom, and I have a fabulous, diamond-in-the-rough OTTB, who is green but learning EVERY day and is just a gem. He's awesome. We're working on straightness, doing some canter work, and cross-rails for fun. He's really smart, in a very good way. You tell him what you want and he goes "ok!".

    The thing is? I don't know HOW to tell him. I'm a capable rider, but have lost so much coordination and that instinct of what to do, that I'm basically starting over, when he is too.

    Thankfully, I have a really great trainer who is extremely sympathetic and helpful.

    Part of me is like WTF was I thinking getting this green horse. Another is like WTF is wrong with me, and maybe I'll never get better. Another is why am I even bothering trying to improve?

    I know this horse will be amazing. And he's ridden 4x/week by other people under trainer supervision and is doing amazing. So even if I can only ride him once a week, he's better every time I do. So that's a +1.

    The thing with me is, I can ride my other horse fine. I rode him yesterday, took him over a 2'3"/2'6" jump, no problem and no getting ahead (my big problem).

    Try to trot a X-rail on the new horse and I'm flopping around like a fish. My weakness is really made obvious with smaller, trot fences.

    I've really been thinking that I need to get my core in shape and I think that will help me. But WHEN? I have a 3 year old, a job, a house, and the horses. Oh, and a husband too. lol

    Sorry, I'm rambling. I know what I want, but I feel like I don't have the time, and I don't have the ability! I would love to know that I'm not the only one going through this!!!

    I did enjoy reading other re-rider threads, and knowing I'm not the only one, and that there's no shame in entering the long-stirrups for awhile to get my feet wet!

    Hi there,

    I totally understand the constraints of adult life and limited time, coupled with a green horse and feeling like you used to be a better rider when you were younger!

    After a few "breaks" from riding in my 20s (college, grad school, jobs, etc.) I finally purchased my own horse in my early 30s. He was unstarted but very easy and now goes pretty well on the flat but is still fairly green over fences. Coming back to riding on a more regular basis, I think I have lost some of the "feel" I had on the flat, as well as some of the "eye" I had (for distances, etc.) over fences. (Weirdly, though, I think I "get" riding and its mechanics much better now in a sort of intellectual sense than I did when I was younger, but it doesn't come as naturally when the time comes to actually use my body.) I do think this is sometimes compounded by my horse's greenness--if he is unbalanced or something, and he is sort of still learning how to find his spots, our weaknesses can feed off of each other. I wonder if this is what you are experiencing, too, with your off-the-track horse.

    Anyway, in the past month or so I've really taken to gymnastics with him. I have Jimmy Wofford's gymnastics book and I decided I'm going to start at the beginning and go as far as I can with it. The book is obviously geared towards eventers, but I would recommend it to anyone working over fences. It has made a world of difference with my horse, who was pretty timid over fences when he first started jumping (which of course made my riding worse because I would worry before the fences and "fiddle" too much). Once he is "in" the gymnastic, I've found, he's going through them; he doesn't really have time to think about getting nervous and he just goes. The gymnastics keep him straight, and forward, and rhythmic. As a result, it has already made him a lot more confident over fences. The distances are figured out for us by the gymnastics themselves, and so I just sit there and keep him straight and let him do his thing. As a result, I am reacquiring my eye and my feel for over fences work, while my horse is figuring out how to keep his rhythm, where his spots are, etc.

    Also, I don't think you could really jump ahead of the horse through a gymnastic. I mean, you could, but it would really encourage you not to--it would help correct that habit. And you can set them up as little trot fences (the earlier gymnastics in the Wofford book all have trotting poles leading into them to establish rhythm, etc.), so you could work on that, too.

    The only problem, of course, is time. This can be time consuming because you have to set the jumps! But if you can carve out the time even once per week, I bet it would really help. (And it is probably ultimately less time consuming than carving out time to go to the gym--not that I'm discouraging that at all, but speaking for myself: I am much more likely to carve out the time to set jumps than do crunches.)

    Plus, gymnastic jumping is super fun. I haven't left one gymnastic jumping session frustrated with myself (yet). From one adult rider on a green horse to another: Let's hear it for fun!


      I'm a 53 yr old rerider who ONLY rides green OTTBs! I can't remember what it is like to ride a made horse or one who just carries me instead of me trying to make him carry himself. I too "get" good riding in themental sense, but on a greenie it is just difficult to maintain. However, when the light comes on and a greenie has an "ah-ha" moment, what a great feeling that is. I'm hoping to keep my chosen OTTB as a forever horse - after a year of work he is finally getting it and is less work to ride correctly. I know this process has made me a better rider, but damn it's work!!!!!
      Little Star Chihuahua Rescue
      The Barkalicious Bakery
      On Facebook!!!


        Another adult re-rider on a green horse with busy job. Yup. I know what you are going through. I remember being VERY out of shape when I first started back about 2 years ago and wondering how I was going to fit it all in. I think it took me a year and a half to start feeling like I was back to where I was skill-wise when I left. Part of it was due to the fact that I was riding a green horse who was progressing with me. I did (and do) spend some time in the gym (and should spend more), but most of what got me in shape was riding.

        As for the green horse? Its great you have another horse to work with to help you get your riding solid and keep your confidence in your abilities. It also sounds like you have a great support group for your green horse. It sounds like you're on the right track. It does take time, but you will get there!


          Cowboy clinic

          Just took my OTTB to a clinic lead by a Ray Hunt type clinician. Best weekend I've spent with horses in a very long time. Did lots of groundwork, saddle work. At first both my mare and I were nervous, but we both left with a much higher level of confidence in each other. And I now have lots of new tools to use if I need them.
          I think it's a great way to knock off the rust.


            Original Poster

            Thanks guys! Its nice to know I'm not alone!

            My trainer told me yesterday I think too much. I really don't think many people would say that about me, lol. But I think what she meant was that the younger students do as requested. The adults overanalyse it.

            I'm looking into a pilates class to get myself stronger. I have a useless gym membership but I hardly have time to go! Early in the morning means I have to wake my kid up and drag her along, later at night means I have no time for anything else (aka, real life!)


              I just sold my OTTB mare last october

              My vent is finding a lesson barn for adults. Around here, most are swarmed with small kids, and/or are overcrowded.

              I cannot have a horse of my own right now as hubby is going into the air force, but would like to take this time to work on ME on a good lesson horse.

              I've always ridden greenies and so my seat has suffered as I was focusing on them and not myself. I'd like to get back into riding shape and really be able to focus on myself. I'm not interested in showing anymore except maybe a schoolie here or there. I mostly foxhunt nowadays when I can catch a ride.

              It's just finding a quiet lesson barn where an adult can go ride without kids on ponies careening around the arena or feeling like the trainers don't have time for a non-showing adult.

              /end vent.
              Friend of bar.ka!
              Originally posted by MHM
              GM quote of the day, regarding the correct way to do things:
              "There's correct, and then there's correct. If you're almost correct, that means you're wrong."


                Original Poster

                Rx - I think the key is finding a time that kids AREN'T there. So weeknights are probably out.


                  Right that's an option too.. IF I wasn't a 9-5er
                  Friend of bar.ka!
                  Originally posted by MHM
                  GM quote of the day, regarding the correct way to do things:
                  "There's correct, and then there's correct. If you're almost correct, that means you're wrong."


                    My turn to hold the Rant Stick!

                    Not only am I a SENIOR re-rider, but since I lost my Steady-Eddie (well, for me he was) Hunter I had for 20 years & acquired a rescued GP Jumper, I have totally learned what OP means about riding one fine, no prob, then the polar opposite.

                    My last rated show was in 1999.
                    Since then I've done a couple schooling shows and a handful of clinics. Mainly focused on dressage.

                    But I have this wonderful new guy who will do dressage - actually he knows more than me, has gears I haven't tested yet
                    But I thought I'd see how he was O/F.

                    Thanks to a COTHer who trains nearby, I was able to see how he liked jumping.
                    Him? Yay! Whee!!!
                    1 -Could not find his center &
                    2 -learned how vast is the abyss between Hunter & Jumper &
                    3 -Missed my old guy - we sure knew each other, I could file my nails & jump a course on him all at the same time

                    If I could retire tomorrow...and win the lottery... then I could really see what is possible for me & New Guy to do together
                    Sandwiching him in between work & scraping together the finances to get the occasional lesson just S-U-X

                    So hang in there, OP.
                    It sounds like you have a great support system at your barn.
                    As you get fitter, your horse will get better-trained & some day the 2 of you will Click & end up on the same page at the same time
                    Patience, Little Grasshopper.
                    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                    Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                    Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015


                      Original Poster

                      Rx, sorry, I am with ya. I'm limited to weekends for lessons for the most part.
                      Thanks 2Dogs, Its so nice to know we're in the same boat.

                      Thanks for talking me down. I'm not a pity kind of person but I keep forgetting I'm not 20 anymore!


                        I find that the main sucky part about being an adult rider who is funding the enterprise is this -- being limited to weekends due to work commitments (for the most part) means the progress is slower than we'd like. I always think about how much better I would be if I could routinely ride 4 times a week rather than 2.
                        Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson


                          Originally posted by moonriverfarm View Post
                          after a year of work he is finally getting it and is less work to ride correctly. I know this process has made me a better rider, but damn it's work!!!!!
                          Right there with you on that one...i'm not a re-rider...never really took a break, but I feel your pain, OP regarding the mental "get it" and the physical "body won't do it!"


                            Original Poster

                            Tarheel, you are so right on the money. If I had the time I could probably progress SO much faster. But age, time, all work against you.

                            Slow and steady, I suppose. I'm setting a goal of a few schooling shows on him next summer.


                              Originally posted by TarheelJD View Post
                              I always think about how much better I would be if I could routinely ride 4 times a week rather than 2.
                              This goes for me as well. Even the once a week lessons sometimes get rescheduled due to my work. Although I am hoping that maybe 1/2 leasing a school horse next year would give me enough flexibility that I could go out and ride when I have some unscheduled downtime.

                              (It also doesn't help that my barn is in the opposite direction of my work ... by 1.5 hours.)
                              The dude abides ...


                                Hang in there! It takes time, especially with the family and the full time job. I started re-re-riding three years ago, and even though my progress hasn't been fast, it's been steady. I got the green bargain TB, but I took lessons and rode, rode, rode. Pilates was a big help, especially at first. If you're into the process and not just the end result, you'll get where you want to go and love every minute of it!
                                Mon Ogon (Mo) and Those Wer the Days (Derby)


                                  Original Poster


                                  Question - I don't want to start a whole new thread for what level/capacity did you take your horse to a clinic? I think it would be really beneficial to take my new horse to a clinic (and would give me some motivation), but I'm not sure he's skilled enough yet to get alot out of it.


                                    I've seen that question posed on here quite a few times, with lots of replies of people who did it, and really felt better taking their greenie rather than their old schoolie. I think it really depends on who you want to focus on for that clinic, you, or your horse?
                                    Friend of bar.ka!
                                    Originally posted by MHM
                                    GM quote of the day, regarding the correct way to do things:
                                    "There's correct, and then there's correct. If you're almost correct, that means you're wrong."


                                      Oh my goodness I could have written this thread! I don't have any suggestions but plenty of empathy. I am finished with an absolutely miserable show season (ie: didn't finish one course of eight jumps during the season). Trainer thinks its time to shop for a new horse. I am not convinced that four, lousy, local shows means send my horse packing. Tried to explain that as an adult who spends 50 hours a week working and 20 hours a week commuting to work, barn, home and back again I just have some simple limitations. I have a green OTTB too with gobs of talent - more than I will ever utilize I imagine. No answers for you, OP, however I hear where you are coming from and I second all of your thoughts!


                                        I agree that I think a lot of us adults are in the same boat! I'm not a re-rider (I picked up riding as an adult) and progress has been sloooooooow. But, some days I just have to give myself some perspective and realize that I'm doing this for fun. There are no real time constraints to reach my goals, I have no dreams of doing this for a living, so it takes a lot of pressure off myself.

                                        But yes, if I didn't have this pesky 9-5 job taking up all my time, I imagine I would be advancing and be much more adaptable in new situations! But its such a catch 22-without the job, wouldn't have the horse! LOL