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Lesson Issue - not sure how to proceed

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  • Lesson Issue - not sure how to proceed

    I started riding with a new trainer (ship in only). I have only had one lesson a few months ago (very busy with personal stuff the last few months). I went Sunday for a lesson. I had talked with the trainer twice - once to set up and once to confirm. Discussed what to work on, etc. I even explained why I had not been back for a lesson even though I had touched based with trainer once during absence. I got on at the correct time, warmed up while other lesson finished. Then it got weird, trainer taught two lesons completely with me there and never indicated anything to me such as 'your lesson is next, or I am booked up but you can ride with this lesson'. So when the third lesson started (now an hour after my scheduled lesson) I went ahead and rode around, worked my horse (stayed out of the way on the far side of the arena, got off, untacked, told trainer I would pay the going arena rental fee, paid and left. Not rude, just left. Trainer made no reference to my riding or anything.

    Now I am not a regular rider so I don't generate much income. It was the first pretty day we have had in a while. But why not tell me that the trainer was over booked during our phone conversations, why not say something while I was on the horse, or am I expecting too much?

    My reaction was "What the heck was that?".

  • #2
    Originally posted by Bopper View Post
    My reaction was "What the heck was that?".
    Mine, too!

    Are you sure you want to ride with this person?

    Just as an aside, it sounds like the lessons are really short, too. 3 lessons in an hour?
    The journey is the destination.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Bopper View Post
      I started riding with a new trainer (ship in only). I have only had one lesson a few months ago (very busy with personal stuff the last few months). I went Sunday for a lesson. I had talked with the trainer twice - once to set up and once to confirm. Discussed what to work on, etc. I even explained why I had not been back for a lesson even though I had touched based with trainer once during absence. I got on at the correct time, warmed up while other lesson finished. Then it got weird, trainer taught two lesons completely with me there and never indicated anything to me such as 'your lesson is next, or I am booked up but you can ride with this lesson'. So when the third lesson started (now an hour after my scheduled lesson) I went ahead and rode around, worked my horse (stayed out of the way on the far side of the arena, got off, untacked, told trainer I would pay the going arena rental fee, paid and left. Not rude, just left. Trainer made no reference to my riding or anything.

      Now I am not a regular rider so I don't generate much income. It was the first pretty day we have had in a while. But why not tell me that the trainer was over booked during our phone conversations, why not say something while I was on the horse, or am I expecting too much?

      My reaction was "What the heck was that?".
      I agree the trainer should have said something to you. Since they didn't why did you not ask the trainer what was going on when you were there?
      Auventera Two:Some women would eat their own offspring if they had some dipping sauce.
      Serious Leigh: it sounds like her drama llama should be an old schoolmaster by now.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Bopper View Post
        I started riding with a new trainer (ship in only). I have only had one lesson a few months ago (very busy with personal stuff the last few months). I went Sunday for a lesson. I had talked with the trainer twice - once to set up and once to confirm. Discussed what to work on, etc. I even explained why I had not been back for a lesson even though I had touched based with trainer once during absence. I got on at the correct time, warmed up while other lesson finished. Then it got weird, trainer taught two lesons completely with me there and never indicated anything to me such as 'your lesson is next, or I am booked up but you can ride with this lesson'. So when the third lesson started (now an hour after my scheduled lesson) I went ahead and rode around, worked my horse (stayed out of the way on the far side of the arena, got off, untacked, told trainer I would pay the going arena rental fee, paid and left. Not rude, just left. Trainer made no reference to my riding or anything.

        Now I am not a regular rider so I don't generate much income. It was the first pretty day we have had in a while. But why not tell me that the trainer was over booked during our phone conversations, why not say something while I was on the horse, or am I expecting too much?

        My reaction was "What the heck was that?".
        Did YOU make a reference to your riding?

        People are rarely this blatently rude and inconsiderate. Even if they want to be, social norms would usually prevent it. I would call the woman and ask her. It'll be more awkward doing it now since you didn't do it then, but you should just call her and ask her what was up. She may have forgotten who the heck you are or not even recognized you!

        Why on earth didn't you say anything?
        Originally posted by tidy rabbit
        Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community.

        Comment


        • #5
          Honestly?

          If you are certain there was no mistake or misunderstanding on the trainer's part (did s/he think you were just trailering in to ride?) Then I would be searching for a different person to spend my money on. Did your trainer say anything to you when you informed them you were paying the rental fee?

          That really is a weird (awkward!) situation.

          Comment


          • #6
            There had to be some kind of miscommunication! Either she didn't remember your lesson, or someone got the time or date wrong.

            When your lesson didn't start I would have asked am I riding now? Is my lesson next? Do you want me to ride in this group lesson this time? Why didn't you ASK?? If the trainer let you trailer in, ride around and never said anything to you that would be really strange.

            Why don't you call and straighten it out. Good luck!
            Last edited by nickers@dawn; Feb. 7, 2011, 08:10 PM.
            "Your best can be worn at any length"- Jason Mraz

            Comment


            • #7
              I suspect the traienr got her days mixed up or something like that. I mean, it happens when you run a busy facility, every now and then I will forget a lesson, when I forgot to mark on my calendar, usually like a makeup or something and maybe that happend. So rather than jumping to conclusions, I would recontact the trainer, explain that you would like to work with her, and tell her that you had THOUGHT you had a lesson that day, did you make a mistake? ("You" bein the OP), probably she will say "Oh My GOSH! I had scheduled a make up lesson for XXXX and completely forgot we had a lesson, I am SO sorry!" or soemthing to that effect. If not, then you know it's time to consider another place
              www.shawneeacres.net

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              • #8
                Bopper, this is extremely unprofessional, not to mention RUDE! How does this person keep clients, when s/he treats them this way?!? (Scratching head.) Even if you are only an "ocassional haul in" (and even if she had overbooked the day and didn't have time to squeeze you in after all), she should have at the very LEAST acknowledged you, spoken to you , apologized if she had to keep you waiting, and taken a few minutes to set things straight.

                She sounds like an asshat! NO trainer is *so* uniquely talented as to justify treating paying clients this way (or people in general, though, ahem *cough* GM might disagree ), so if I were you, I would take my business elsewhere. Pronto.

                I am a trainer myself (though do it P/T), and I can't imagine behaving like this towards a rider (or anyone!), not in my wildest dreams!
                "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

                "It's supposed to be hard...the hard is what makes it great!" (Jimmy Dugan, "A League of Their Own")

                Comment


                • #9
                  But yes, I would definitely follow up with a query--and next time, don't be afraid to speak up and ask! With luck, you won't have a "next time"...
                  "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

                  "It's supposed to be hard...the hard is what makes it great!" (Jimmy Dugan, "A League of Their Own")

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Dr. Doolittle View Post
                    I am a trainer myself (though do it P/T), and I can't imagine behaving like this towards a rider (or anyone!), not in my wildest dreams!
                    Hence why some of us think it must have been a misunderstanding. I mean, that's like sociopathic behavior. I'm assuming the trainer isn't a sociopath.

                    So lets wait before we call her an asshat
                    Originally posted by tidy rabbit
                    Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm confused. When it was time for your lesson, and someone else was getting a lesson, why didn't you ride over and say something? Like, "I thought it was time for MY lesson". Then the trainer could have said "your lesson is NEXT Monday" or "gosh, I thought you just scheduled ring time".
                      Did you really ride around for over an hour and never ask why you weren't being taught?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Did the trainer even acknowledge your presence? If they didn't, I find that odd. Usually trainers are curious who is on the property, even if they're in a lesson and especially if this strange person showed up on a horse! What did they say, if anything to you as you were leaving?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I don't get it....you ship in, so obviously you're there for something. Trainer did not have an "aha!" moment and ask why you were there?

                          Huh?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Honestly, I think your behavior sounds as strange as hers, if not stranger. I can't imagine being there and not actually saying anything to her, such as, "What is our lesson plan for today?" or "Our lesson is at 1, right?" -- something to make her realize you were there for a lesson.
                            Looking for horse activity in the Twin Tiers? Follow my blog at http://thetwintiershorse.blogspot.com/

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              What an odd situation!

                              It's very odd for trainer not to acknowledge you, at all, throughout.
                              But also pretty odd for you to just work your horse, pay a ring fee, and trailer away.

                              I think it would have been easier/less awkward to ask her at the time what the plan for the day was, rather than just riding alone and leaving, but if you still want to ride with her again, I guess you could start off with something like, "I'm sorry we got our wires crossed last weekend, I really had to be home by 4 and couldn't wait around, what is your schedule for next weekend" or something. But I would also make sure you clarify when you arrive that you are still on track for whatever time lesson.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                You've only had one lesson with this trainer, months ago. I'd bet a bunch on money she doesn't remember what you look like AT ALL. She probably thought you didn't show since you never said anything. I'd call her and sort it out. Why didn't you speak up when you were there? I would have said something for sure, I really bet she doesn't remember what you look like after meeting you once.

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster

                                  #17
                                  Sorry if my behavior seems strange to some. I am the type of person that just handles things on my own. When lesson # 3 started I realized things weren't going quite right and in order to not have to hang around for another 1/2 hour hoping I was next I went ahead and worked my horse (I don't have a covered arena at home and it was the first real ride I had gotten in about a month). I did not want to make a scene or say anything during another rider's lesson. I had thought thay maybe I had just been forgotten except for: 1. I confirmed the lesson two days ahead of time and discussed what we would work on, 2. trainer acknowledged me when I arrived, I asked if I could put my horse in the barn crossties she said no problem you can even put him in a stall while you unload your stuff, 3. watched about 10 minutes of another lesson before tacking my horse up standing 3 feet from the trainer (outside the ring not disturbing lesson) trainer never said a word about lesson, 4. trainer at the start of lesson #2 she said something like - you can go ride at that end of the ring and it won't be in the way. I never discussed coming to ride without a lesson.

                                  At least I got a good ride out of it but I also drove quite a distance and could have gotten a good ride at the local arena without having to drive 1/6 the distance.

                                  I probably will not go back but I am just kind of lost. I try to always treat people with respect and when others are rude and disrespectful it always leaves me feeling weird.

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    I would not go back. Too weird for words. I am not very assertive and would expect a trainer to at least direct me when I was there, ready, for an HOUR. If she didn't provide some sort of "actually I'm running a bit behind, can you wait half an hour to tack up?", I would pack up and go home too. My horse doesn't need to carry me around all day.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by HappyHorselover View Post
                                      I'd bet a bunch on money she doesn't remember what you look like AT ALL.
                                      I did this last year.

                                      Someone contacted me about lessons. She said she knew me from another barn. Super! I remember her, nice girl, nice rider.

                                      We arrange a time. I get out to the barn and she isn't there. There are a couple of people talking to the BO. I putz around a bit, trying not to get in the way of the BO and the prospective new boarders.

                                      Well, d'oh. The young lady must have thought I was crackers to be so rude. I had no idea who she was until she introduced herself to me.

                                      I had *remembered* the wrong person!

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        My trainer has forgotten about me before.. I went about 30 minutes before she asked "are you in this lesson!?"

                                        Probably just a simple error.. I can't imagine she did it on purpose.

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