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I'm (FINALLY) outta there!!!

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  • I'm (FINALLY) outta there!!!

    Well almost anyways. Let me start this out by saying this:

    1. I am incredibly STUPID.

    2. I should have left a VERY long time ago.

    3. I will fully admit, that you guys told me so and I should have listened then.

    Saying that, here's the update. So I've lasted at the (insert adjective) barn I was at until now. I stayed because I couldn't find anywhere else that had lesson horses I could use and I didn't want to let my lesson kids down.
    I did my best to get in, do my thing and then go home. I figured it was a place to ride and a place to teach lessons, that's all I needed. It worked for awhile but even so, things have gone even further downhill as the weather has gotten colder and the days shorter. (meaning everybody's moved into the indoor arena).
    First the barn owner started changing the days they did their lessons on and didn't tell anyone, so you'd show up and couldn't ride. Once in awhile, no problem. But it's become a pretty often occurence. Hmmm... so I can't ride regularly but at least I can still teach lessons right?
    Not so much. I switched my lessons (as per a discussion with the BO weeks ago) to sundays due to daylight savings time. I would much rather not have my lesson kids trying to go out and catch horses in the dark. She says "Sure no problem! So and so has lessons but will be done by noon and then there are some more lessons from 3pm on." Not a problem, I've got two lessons from 12-1 and 1-2. I show up and at noon, they were still in the ring... Ok so luckily it was nice enough, we could go outside and ride. But I figured I should probably say something, so we're all on the same page, figuring that perhaps this other instructor doesn't know about my lessons (even though they're on the board). So I say to her "Hi there, if you guys could be done and have the arena cleared (of jumps) by noon next week for my lessons that would be great". She goes "Oh. But I have a lesson with so and so at 12:30-1:30 and the group in the morning wants to ride a bit longer next time". I said "Well I'm sorry but I have the arena booked from 12:00-2:00" and she says "Well that's not what the barn owner said!". I said, "It's been marked on the board for awhile now, you are more than welcome to share the arena with us if you'd like". So basically the BO "forgot" about my lessons and because of it, I have to re-arrange my lessons, not the other instructor. This is how the BO works, she gets a new "flavor of the month", makes every accomodation possible for them and makes everybody else have to work around it. Nice. I guess the fact I've been there 3x as long means nothing. Or the fact that she's got ONE person from 12:30-1:30 and I'd have 6 kids from 12-2. Hmmm $10 vs. $60 income for the barn...
    Not only all that but the BO's had badmouthed the local vet to the point where she will no longer come out to do routine visits. I have to have my horse looked at before I go away and she asked me if I could bring my horse to her place because she really didn't want to deal with the crazy BO.

    So I'm really and truly DONE. It's obvious that I'm "chopped liver" so to speak and if I can't ride or teach there, then there's no point of being there. It's really unfortunate but I think I'm just going to have to give it up for awhile. I'm going to do my best to find another instructor to take my kids on and then I'm pulling my horse next monday. (I'm going away for a week and don't want to put my horse at a new place without being around to go check up on her, otherwise I'd do it tomorrow.)
    I'm so incredibly frustrated. It's such a ridiculous situation all because the BO has no clue what professionalism or running a business is. So much for trying to make it work. There's no way to do that with someone who isn't willing to put some effort in too.
    I think the BO's crazy reputation has gotten around because the barn is absolutely empty this year.
  • Original Poster

    #2
    Sorry that's so long. Thanks for reading if you made it through all that.

    Comment


    • #3
      Man, I'm really sorry for you. I can understand all of that, and the frustrations of having the BO just sort of deal with your face when its around and then just go off and deal with the others who's faces are around more. Really sorry.

      I don't know where you are, but I really hope you find a nice place to teach. Sounds like you love it and love your kids. Really feel for you.
      Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #4
        Thanks I really appreciate it. I feel like someone that's been in a bad relationship but just can't leave because......? I can't wait to pack up all my stuff and just be done with it. As much as I will miss teaching "my kids", it comes with way too much stress at this barn.

        As they say, one door closes and another one opens. I think this door definitely needs to be closed with a strong SLAM. I'm sure other things will come about.
        On a positive note, the local pony club asked me to teach them next year, I filled in for another lady and they were so pleased with me, they want me back! yay! Just have to wait till april for that to start up again. That makes me feel really good and makes me confident that I AM doing a good job and that my good reputation will get around.

        Comment


        • #5
          Your good reputation will get around much better if you are not staying/teaching at Crazy BO's barn.

          Comment


          • #6
            Even though you aren't moving your horse for a week, I hope that you are taking everything home that goes with your horse that they won't need for a week? After all people who are acting strange can also be vindictive.

            Good decision on your part, and your lesson people don't need to be exposed to this either.
            You can't fix stupid-Ron White

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #7
              Originally posted by JanM View Post
              Even though you aren't moving your horse for a week, I hope that you are taking everything home that goes with your horse that they won't need for a week? After all people who are acting strange can also be vindictive.

              Good decision on your part, and your lesson people don't need to be exposed to this either.
              I haven't taken anything home just yet. I'm contemplating how to go about it. I'm thinking I will probably just not say anything until the day comes, load all my stuff up, ask for the rest of the month's board back (doubt I'll get it), say what I need to say and be gone (since we don't have a contract stating notice must be given).
              Option B (the "faint hope" stupid option) is to go talk with the BO and ask what's going on and if she wants me to be there anymore. Say that if she does, then I need to be able to teach my lessons without interference and without getting jerked around having to move them here, there and everywhere to accomodate other people. This option will likely end with her PO'd but at least I can say I tried. But again, a leopard never changes their spots, so I'm sure this won't ever end as long as I'm there, so is there a point to even talking to her?
              Option C (fun but not so professional) is to stay till the end of Nov and be an absolute PITA. It's a fun thought but it'd be more grief than it was worth.

              Comment


              • #8
                Yep, she sounds exactly like a BO I finally had enough of and left. I saw the signs waaaaayyyyyy before she finally turned her wacko self on me, and I still kick myself for waiting until it reached the breaking point to finally leave. Long story short, but she was pretty much as crazy as the one you're describing.

                The horse industry has some nuts, that's for sure. Sorry you had to deal with this one!

                ETA: The bit about the "flavor of the month" cracked me up- it's so familiar!! I'm kind of wondering if you are indeed describing the crazy BO I had to leave! Lol.
                Last edited by simc24; Nov. 8, 2010, 10:30 AM. Reason: more thoughts:)
                The best is yet to come

                Comment


                • #9
                  That does sound frustrating - - glad you have made a decision... however saying that; make sure if you have a contract you follow it. Do you have to give a 30 day notice in writing etc? If you just pull your horse and you do have a contract; you will never hear the end of it if you stay in the area.

                  It's funny how the horse world is a very small one!

                  Good luck to you AND your students... I hope you can find a place that you could take them to that is safe, professional and fun.
                  Live in the sunshine.
                  Swim in the sea.
                  Drink the wild air.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If I were in your position, I would not have another conversation with the BO. You will just prolong the inevitible by falling victim to false promises.

                    If you don't feel you could not use her as a reference, best to cut the ties immediately. I would not ask for return of the board, just move your horse as planned and be done with it.

                    If you would like to use her as a reference and feel that she would give you a good one, then give 30 days notice and finish out the 30 days of board and teaching, or offer to teach until you are replaced.
                    Proud Member of the "Tidy Rabbit Tinfoil Hat Wearers" clique and the "I'm in my 30's and Hope to be a Good Rider Someday" clique

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #11
                      Originally posted by doublesstable View Post
                      Do you have to give a 30 day notice in writing etc? If you just pull your horse and you do have a contract; you will never hear the end of it if you stay in the area.

                      It's funny how the horse world is a very small one!
                      Nope we don't have a contract of any sort. I am SO glad for that.
                      She's already the type that talks about everyone behind their back to anyone that will listen, I'm sure she's already saying stuff. That said, if you go to ANY other barn in the area and tell them that you board at that barn, they go "Oooh....Really?", she's got a reputation for running people off and being a full out crazy person. I'm not worried about what she has to say about me because her reputation will be taken into account.

                      Originally posted by Spud&Saf View Post
                      If I were in your position, I would not have another conversation with the BO. You will just prolong the inevitible by falling victim to false promises.
                      This is exactly how I feel. I don't want to get sucked back in, it's happened a few too many times already. I kind of halfway want to have the conversation so I can tell her exactly why I'm leaving. I don't like just running away with my tail between my legs.
                      As for using her as a reference, I don't want any association with her or the barn at all. I definitely don't want to be painted with the same brush.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Kudos to you!

                        I have learned from you when I try and go into teaching. I have had experiences (as a boarder and lessonee) where BOs tell you to leave the arena because they want to ride while the instructor is in the middle of a lesson and one instructor who reserved the arena for 1 day of the week (the entire day) just to teach one student for 5-10 minutes in the morning. Both separate barns but where do you really draw the line between profession-ism and being plain rude?

                        I feel it's time to go back to common sense 101 for these kind of folks.

                        I am proud you got out while you can. It seems your future is brighter now that you won't be associated with that farm; it's a shame not to do anything and your reputation gets ruined over someone else's mistakes.
                        Proud owner of 2 Oldenburgs

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #13
                          Y'know what's really funny? My horoscope both yesterday and today said that I needed to get away from people with bad energy and that if I did it would be most beneficial, both financially and in terms of success.

                          I always get a chuckle out of horoscopes but the ones I've had the last couple of days have hit the nail on the head! LOL

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by CrocusPony View Post
                            I haven't taken anything home just yet. I'm contemplating how to go about it. I'm thinking I will probably just not say anything until the day comes, load all my stuff up, ask for the rest of the month's board back (doubt I'll get it), say what I need to say and be gone (since we don't have a contract stating notice must be given).
                            Option B (the "faint hope" stupid option) is to go talk with the BO and ask what's going on and if she wants me to be there anymore. Say that if she does, then I need to be able to teach my lessons without interference and without getting jerked around having to move them here, there and everywhere to accomodate other people. This option will likely end with her PO'd but at least I can say I tried. But again, a leopard never changes their spots, so I'm sure this won't ever end as long as I'm there, so is there a point to even talking to her?
                            Option C (fun but not so professional) is to stay till the end of Nov and be an absolute PITA. It's a fun thought but it'd be more grief than it was worth.

                            'K, I'm voting against Option B. You have been there and done that. If it was ineffectual the first (or 7th) time, and you go for round 8......

                            You can't fix stupid, but you can waste time and sanity trying.

                            Your BO has told you who she is, then take her at her word.
                            The armchair saddler
                            Politically Pro-Cat

                            Comment

                            • Original Poster

                              #15
                              Originally posted by mvp View Post
                              'K, I'm voting against Option B. You have been there and done that. If it was ineffectual the first (or 7th) time, and you go for round 8......

                              You can't fix stupid, but you can waste time and sanity trying.

                              Your BO has told you who she is, then take her at her word.
                              Yup the BO has definitely shown & proven who she is time and again. That and I've had SO many people in our area tell me "who" she is as well.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                I'd pack my stuff and get outta there. There's no telling what the BO is capable of with your horse and stuff.

                                Comment

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