• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

my mare lost her only pasture buddy

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • my mare lost her only pasture buddy

    How do I help my old girl? Her only, beloved, equally old pasture buddy died in the field with her late yesterday afternoon. She was so attached to her friend. She didn't get turned out today, but stayed in with a new little pony in the stall next to her. She called out some, but mostly just paced in circles.

    If she can't bond with this new little guy, and is frantic out in the field, she is in danger of hurting herself or someone else. The barn owner has told me if that's the case, I'll have to move her. That's not an appealing option - she's old, and doesn't adapt easily to new situations. She's been on this farm for almost 10, years, and I can't see moving her as a realistic option. So, I 'm faced with the real possibility of having to have her PTS. My heart is breaking. She will be 29 in April, and isn't ready to go quite yet.

    So, tomorrow, they'll give her a little Ace, turn her out with this new little guy, and hope for the best.

    If anyone has any suggestions of how I can help her adjust, I'd love to hear them.

    Thanks in advance.
    Defying Gravity...Flying High
    * Forever Teddy*

  • #2
    Give her a chance! I bet she'll adapt better than you think..Maybe part of her anxiety today was just from being kept in. Good luck!


    • #3
      Why would they keep her in and work her up even more by disturbing her usual routine?

      When an event like that happens it's best, IMO, to stick to the usual routine as much as possible. The horse will be more stressed and think even more is wrong if not. Some horses really rely on their routine.

      I hope she does get along with they new guy. She might realize her friend is gone and that she'll just have to deal.


      • #4
        Jingles for your mare ! She will bond with her new buddy ~ just needs a little time. Try not to worry - sounds like they have it all thought out - a little Ace and she will be fine.
        Zu Zu Bailey " IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ! "


        • #5
          More Jingles for your mare. I think she will adjust and that you have a good plan.

          Where I boarded in CT, my mare had a "boyfriend", a gelding that was head over heels in love with her. They were always together (both on 24x7 pasture board). He was not a happy camper for a few days after we left, but he adjusted.
          There are friends and faces that may be forgotten, but there are horses that never will be. - Andy Adams


          • #6
            Our ancient pony lost her equally ancient Arabian 'husband' last year, very suddenly. I believe she was in shock. She whinnied for several days and was very depressed for a long time. We did consider some Ace to help her, but did not give it.

            I kept her routine the same, spent a lot of time with her. It was very hard for her, I've never seen a horse grieve so deeply.

            I also used flower essences Rescue Remedy (for stress, etc.) and also Star of Bethlehem (for grief). I put them in her water.

            Give her time. They have such deep connections, just like we do. It's very hard for them. A kind new friend will help her a lot.

            BTW, my elderly pony who grieved so much a year ago.....Very soon it will be her time to join her mate in Heaven. She has never quite recovered from losing him a year ago, which has pained me a lot. I am consoled by the fact that she will be with her friend again soon, which makes my impending loss of her easier. Hang in there.


            • #7
              Originally posted by ThoroughbredFancy View Post
              Why would they keep her in and work her up even more by disturbing her usual routine?

              When an event like that happens it's best, IMO, to stick to the usual routine as much as possible. The horse will be more stressed and think even more is wrong if not. Some horses really rely on their routine.

              I hope she does get along with they new guy. She might realize her friend is gone and that she'll just have to deal.



              • #8
                Does your mare have neighboring pasture boarded horses she can see from her field? If so, I would have her back outside alone ASAP, and then work to slowly introduce her new friend. Or I know a local-to-me retirement farm that will have openings soon....
                Good luck, I know how stressful it is when the old ones get stressed out!
                Do not take anything to heart. Do not hanker after signs of progress. Founder of the Riders with Fibromyalgia clique.


                • #9
                  I agree with keeping the routine as much as possible. She will adjust to her new pal. My girl was able to say goodbye to her pasturemate after the deed was done and I think it helps them realize the finality. She has her goats that have been with her for years and they make a nice little herd all their own. There is a grieving process , no matter what and it might take time, and it may never be the same, but that's how it is. Sorry for the loss. It's never easy.


                  • Original Poster

                    Originally posted by ThoroughbredFancy View Post
                    Why would they keep her in and work her up even more by disturbing her usual routine?
                    I think that would have been best, too.
                    But when her friend died, she died quickly, falling into the fence.
                    So, that had to be repaired before they could let her back out.

                    Well, I'm crossing my fingers.
                    They are supposed to call me with an update this morning.
                    I know I'm being silly worrying so much, but I can't help myself.
                    Thanks for the words of encouragement.
                    Defying Gravity...Flying High
                    * Forever Teddy*


                    • #11
                      I had a 25 year old mare who became very attached to my 8 year old gelding. I didn’t think he was as attached because he never screamed for her when they were separated like she did for him, but she died suddenly in their pasture one day and my young gelding went into a deep depression. He we very upset in their normal pasture (the vet said it was likely because he could smell where she died) and basically just laid down in a mud hole and refused to get up. After a week of forcing him up, just to find him back down in the mud shortly thereafter, I decided to make a drastic change and move him to another farm. He loaded up with his depressed attitude and stepped off the trailer at the new farm as if he didn’t even remember his best friend anymore. It was really crazy! The vet couldn’t really explain it, but said every horse is different and maybe it was his ability to smell her around the old farm that upset him.

                      Good luck.... sending jingles to you and your mare!


                      • #12
                        I am sorry to hear. Hopefully the suggestions made will help you.
                        I find it somewhat unpleasant that, after 10 years, the BO does not offer to help but tells you "you 'll have to move her"? My barn owner would offer solutions and try to find other pasture mates and moving a horse would be the last thing on her mind!


                        • #13
                          Animals have a remarkable ability to 'move on' unlike people which linger or a loss for extended periods of time. What she needs to move on is a new friends, whether she likes that friend or not. Animals are blessed with the herd mind set and more than anything seek to be IN a herd. Her "herd" is gone now, she needs a new one. Plain and simple. Find a new pasture buddy for her and let them alone for a good bit of time, even if they do not seem to like each other at first. As much as she is looking for her "friend" she is REALLY looking for her herd. You must try your best to NOT humanize the situation. Do animals mourn? Yes I believe some do. But so long as the have a herd to be a part of that period of mourning is short lived. We should all be so lucky as to recover from the loss of friends and family as well as animals do.


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by FalseImpression View Post
                            I am sorry to hear. Hopefully the suggestions made will help you.
                            I find it somewhat unpleasant that, after 10 years, the BO does not offer to help but tells you "you 'll have to move her"? My barn owner would offer solutions and try to find other pasture mates and moving a horse would be the last thing on her mind!
                            I agree. If you were close to me, I would keep her for you.


                            • #15
                              Any updates yet? I sure hope that your mare is doing okay. Will keep jingles going for her........


                              • Original Poster

                                update from this morning

                                Ok, I talked to the barn manager this morning, and things look promising

                                They actually put her out (with her new buddy) yesterday afternoon after they fixed the fence. And then again this morning. Both times she took one speedy lap around the field, screaming and calling for her fallen friend. Her new buddy trailed behind (actually a funny picture, if I do say so). Then they settled down to munch grass. They never got particularly close to each other. But she also didn't pin her ears and chase him off. She definitely likes to be the boss, and from what I was told, her new friend will be fine with that. So, if that's the routine for a little while, I'm ok with that. Just as long as she doesn't hurt herself in the process.

                                Yea, I guess I'd expect a little more sympathy (or is it empathy?) from the barn owner. I have been there a long time, and I'd like to think I was a good boarder. I would hope that she'd keep in mind that I'm just trying to do the right thing for my horse. My horse is a little high maintenance, and maybe she's just sick of dealing with her. I could send her to a retirement facility, but I don't know of any close by, so that would mean I'd never get to see her. And even though I don't ride her anymore, I still get a lot of joy from going once a week to groom her, cuddle and give her treats. I'd love to have a younger horse that I could ride, but having 2 is not an option. I feel like I made a commitment to this one, and I want to fulfill it. I've had her for 25 years, and plan to care for her to the end.

                                So, her comments could be born of frustration and just an unwillingness to go out of her way to help anymore, or maybe it was grief speaking - it was her old retired pony that died.
                                Defying Gravity...Flying High
                                * Forever Teddy*


                                • #17
                                  I am so sorry. Wish we lived close enough to you for you to board here. We like the older ones and high maintenance is no problem. Keeps life interesting. Maybe someone on COTH knows of a retirement farm that is close enough to you for you to visit.


                                  • #18
                                    Sounds like she's doing OK. They do look for their friend for a while, but eventually settle down. Hang in there - she sounds like a real sweetie and is lucky to have such a caring owner. Giver he a little extra attention while she's going through her grieving period to help her along.
                                    She wasn't running away with me, I just couldn't stop her!


                                    • #19
                                      Good news - glad your mare is getting along with her new buddy !!! Jingles for all three of you - mare-buddy and owner !
                                      Zu Zu Bailey " IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ! "


                                      • #20
                                        I'm in a very similar situation with my old mare. I've had her for 21 years. Some people understand that we're in this till the end, others don't get it. Hopefully, your BO will come around and all will be well.

                                        My mare lost the love of her life three years ago and it was very hard on her. Making a new friend was the biggest help. She isn't anywhere near as close to her new buddy as she was to the other horse, but she's happy and thriving again. They do adjust, though it can take some time.