Sport Horse Spotlight

Vitalis_img_4461skawx LL_Fotos

Real Estate Spotlight


Sale Spotlight

COTH_without Subscribe
  • Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You�re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the Forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it�details of personal disputes may be better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts, though are not legally obligated to do so, regardless of content.

Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting. Moderators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts unless they have been alerted and have determined that a post, thread or user has violated the Forums� policies. Moderators do not regularly independently monitor the Forums for such violations.

Profanity, outright vulgarity, blatant personal insults or otherwise inappropriate statements will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Users may provide their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, individuals, etc.; however, accounts involving allegations of criminal behavior against named individuals or companies MUST be first-hand accounts and may NOT be made anonymously.

If a situation has been reported upon by a reputable news source or addressed by law enforcement or the legal system it is open for discussion, but if an individual wants to make their own claims of criminal behavior against a named party in the course of that discussion, they too must identify themselves by first and last name and the account must be first-person.

Criminal allegations that do not satisfy these requirements, when brought to our attention, may be removed pending satisfaction of these criteria, and we reserve the right to err on the side of caution when making these determinations.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it�s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users� profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses � Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it�s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who�s selling it, it doesn�t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions � Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services � Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products � While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements � Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be �bumped� excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues � Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators� discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the �alert� button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your �Ignore� list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you�d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user�s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 5/9/18)
See more
See less

BO Vent - how to get through to the employee?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #61
    Blondmane, you are a kind soul. Remember that boyfriend we all had when we were younger, the one we dated for months or even years longer than we should have but then were sooooooo happy to be rid of once he finally went away? Remember the thought, "what was I THINKING keeping this guy around so long?"

    Just like that boyfriend, you have given her more chances than she deserves. For the record, I do personally believe that she probably does have a drug, alcohol, or mental health problem, but that is not YOUR problem, and by making it your problem you are doing her no favors. Maybe the kick in the pants this girl needs is losing yet another job, her place to keep her horse, and her lessons. People never seek help or change their ways until they feel they have no other option. You are giving her an option to continue acting just as she has before, and in the process you, your husband, and your horses are getting the short end. In other words, by doling out chances like you are, you are helping her dig her and your hole deeper.

    You need to ask yourself why you are doing this. You have said before that she doesn't have much money and has a bad family life. Clearly you are a compassionate person. But you need to look inside yourself and figure out why you are allowing this, what inside you is being compelled to give this woman so many chances. Once you figure that out, it will probably be easier for you to step back and, as they say in my family, "do the needful."

    Make sure that when you do give her the 10-day notice, you have arranged it so that someone else is doing her work from that notice on. So she gets 10 free days, so what? After she knows she is leaving and you're done negotiating, she cannot be trusted to do any work. Just accept that and find someone else.

    Good luck.
    Lark B


    • Original Poster

      Thanks again for all the replies. I'm going to do it on Tuesday - just tell her to find a new home for her horse by the 31st. Her mom has a "farm" as does an aunt, so it's not like I will be kicking her horse out into the cold. I've just had enough and eveyone is right - I'm stressing WAY too much~

      I did stalls today and my husband said the barn finally smells better. I'm doing them again tomorrow (gave her 2 days off) so we'll see how nice the barn smells after me doing stalls 3 out of 4 days~!
      Enough with the drama!


      • Original Poster

        Well I finally said goodbye to this employee/working student. The straw that broke the camel's back was when she forgot to make up the evening feed for the horses. She was in such a hurry to go meet a friend she just left after cleaning stalls. I gave her a checklist a week ago so she could go over it and make sure everything was done - but she couldn't even initial it at the bottom on a daily basis to let me know she read it - how hard is that?

        So I told her she would have to pay board and work off it for the next month. She showed up the following day with a friend who helped her do chores in a record 3 hours and then didn't show up the next morning (Saturday). No phone call, nothing. Then she calls me that afternoon to tell me she's going to pick her horse up sometime on Sunday. She shows up today with a friend, the friend's mom and her mom (she's almost 19) and acts like nothing happened. Never said thank you for anything, just got all her stuff, strutted around like nothing happened and her mom said goodbye. What a piece of work! But the good thing is I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't mind doing the work myself - it burns alot of calories!

        Honestly, I think she has a substance abuse problem and doesn't realize it and therefore doesn't want any help. Oh well, I think I gave her plenty of chances and from what posters on the bb's are saying, I did the right thing by letting her go. Guess I have to be the bad guy - already saw a nasty posting on a local bb in response to a Help Wanted ad I have for the position. Rude comment (from either her or a friend) about my advertising for a working student and wondering why I couldn't keep help. WTF? This girl was here 8 months (the last 2 were when the laziness kicked in because I had been helping her for 6 months) and I have another that has been here almost a year. I just love this generation of upcoming adults - they all think they are owed something by the world and that they can get by without working for a living.
        Enough with the drama!


        • #64
          why dont you - as you teach go for a college
          we do that in uk -- right

          and goverment pays toawrd its --
          so got giel working help bit of a wage 6mthsd contract

          you trian them to be barn managers or suvisors
          via college - so you a filed trip practicing with live animals

          sy 10 mths of year 2 mths off

          can work


          • #65
            BM, I'm glad to hear that she is gone. Your life will be better for it. It was only going to get worse if she stayed. I am sure you'll be able to find someone more suitable. Just ignore any sour grapes from her; she'll be distracted soon enough by some other issue in her life.
            Where Norwegian Fjords Rule


            • #66
              OP... it sounds as if she didn't realize the cake situation you gave her. Especially since she could just walk out as if nothing happened. You did the right thing, there's plenty of horse owners who'd give their eye teeth for the sweet deal you were giving the ingrate.

              Please dont' give up on youngsters. There's still a few out there who know the value of hard work and appreciate when someone gives them a break.

              Then again, there's lots of adults with entitlement issues, too... But I'm glad you're rid of this kid.


              • Original Poster

                I'm glad to be rid of this person also. And ironwood you're right, things would have gotten worse. She would have kept taking advantage of my kindness and my husband's feeling sorry for her. She'll keep using people until one day it comes back to bit her in the A*s.

                Sansena - I know all teenagers aren't bad - the one who's been with me for almost a year is 16 and a fabulous student and hard worker. But we need to remember, children are a product of their environment. If they've been taught respect, value and what it means to work for a living they will do it when they are old enough.

                I have to laugh because the person who left the nasty posting on the local forum posted again saying she wasn't the one who worked for me and made the comment that people didn't understand why she was posting what she posted. Again - ???? - whatever that means. I told my husband about the posting and he just laughed. The phrase "sticks and stones" comes to mind.
                Enough with the drama!