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BO Vent - how to get through to the employee?

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  • #61
    Blondmane, you are a kind soul. Remember that boyfriend we all had when we were younger, the one we dated for months or even years longer than we should have but then were sooooooo happy to be rid of once he finally went away? Remember the thought, "what was I THINKING keeping this guy around so long?"

    Just like that boyfriend, you have given her more chances than she deserves. For the record, I do personally believe that she probably does have a drug, alcohol, or mental health problem, but that is not YOUR problem, and by making it your problem you are doing her no favors. Maybe the kick in the pants this girl needs is losing yet another job, her place to keep her horse, and her lessons. People never seek help or change their ways until they feel they have no other option. You are giving her an option to continue acting just as she has before, and in the process you, your husband, and your horses are getting the short end. In other words, by doling out chances like you are, you are helping her dig her and your hole deeper.

    You need to ask yourself why you are doing this. You have said before that she doesn't have much money and has a bad family life. Clearly you are a compassionate person. But you need to look inside yourself and figure out why you are allowing this, what inside you is being compelled to give this woman so many chances. Once you figure that out, it will probably be easier for you to step back and, as they say in my family, "do the needful."

    Make sure that when you do give her the 10-day notice, you have arranged it so that someone else is doing her work from that notice on. So she gets 10 free days, so what? After she knows she is leaving and you're done negotiating, she cannot be trusted to do any work. Just accept that and find someone else.

    Good luck.
    Lark B
    socialwstudent@gmail.com
    _________

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    • Original Poster

      #62
      Thanks again for all the replies. I'm going to do it on Tuesday - just tell her to find a new home for her horse by the 31st. Her mom has a "farm" as does an aunt, so it's not like I will be kicking her horse out into the cold. I've just had enough and eveyone is right - I'm stressing WAY too much~

      I did stalls today and my husband said the barn finally smells better. I'm doing them again tomorrow (gave her 2 days off) so we'll see how nice the barn smells after me doing stalls 3 out of 4 days~!
      Enough with the drama!

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      • Original Poster

        #63
        Well I finally said goodbye to this employee/working student. The straw that broke the camel's back was when she forgot to make up the evening feed for the horses. She was in such a hurry to go meet a friend she just left after cleaning stalls. I gave her a checklist a week ago so she could go over it and make sure everything was done - but she couldn't even initial it at the bottom on a daily basis to let me know she read it - how hard is that?

        So I told her she would have to pay board and work off it for the next month. She showed up the following day with a friend who helped her do chores in a record 3 hours and then didn't show up the next morning (Saturday). No phone call, nothing. Then she calls me that afternoon to tell me she's going to pick her horse up sometime on Sunday. She shows up today with a friend, the friend's mom and her mom (she's almost 19) and acts like nothing happened. Never said thank you for anything, just got all her stuff, strutted around like nothing happened and her mom said goodbye. What a piece of work! But the good thing is I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't mind doing the work myself - it burns alot of calories!

        Honestly, I think she has a substance abuse problem and doesn't realize it and therefore doesn't want any help. Oh well, I think I gave her plenty of chances and from what posters on the bb's are saying, I did the right thing by letting her go. Guess I have to be the bad guy - already saw a nasty posting on a local bb in response to a Help Wanted ad I have for the position. Rude comment (from either her or a friend) about my advertising for a working student and wondering why I couldn't keep help. WTF? This girl was here 8 months (the last 2 were when the laziness kicked in because I had been helping her for 6 months) and I have another that has been here almost a year. I just love this generation of upcoming adults - they all think they are owed something by the world and that they can get by without working for a living.
        Enough with the drama!

        Comment


        • #64
          why dont you - as you teach go for a college
          we do that in uk -- right

          and goverment pays toawrd its --
          so got giel working help bit of a wage 6mthsd contract

          you trian them to be barn managers or suvisors
          via college - so you a filed trip practicing with live animals

          sy 10 mths of year 2 mths off

          can work

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          • #65
            BM, I'm glad to hear that she is gone. Your life will be better for it. It was only going to get worse if she stayed. I am sure you'll be able to find someone more suitable. Just ignore any sour grapes from her; she'll be distracted soon enough by some other issue in her life.
            Where Norwegian Fjords Rule
            http://www.ironwood-farm.com

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            • #66
              OP... it sounds as if she didn't realize the cake situation you gave her. Especially since she could just walk out as if nothing happened. You did the right thing, there's plenty of horse owners who'd give their eye teeth for the sweet deal you were giving the ingrate.

              Please dont' give up on youngsters. There's still a few out there who know the value of hard work and appreciate when someone gives them a break.

              Then again, there's lots of adults with entitlement issues, too... But I'm glad you're rid of this kid.

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              • Original Poster

                #67
                I'm glad to be rid of this person also. And ironwood you're right, things would have gotten worse. She would have kept taking advantage of my kindness and my husband's feeling sorry for her. She'll keep using people until one day it comes back to bit her in the A*s.

                Sansena - I know all teenagers aren't bad - the one who's been with me for almost a year is 16 and a fabulous student and hard worker. But we need to remember, children are a product of their environment. If they've been taught respect, value and what it means to work for a living they will do it when they are old enough.

                I have to laugh because the person who left the nasty posting on the local forum posted again saying she wasn't the one who worked for me and made the comment that people didn't understand why she was posting what she posted. Again - ???? - whatever that means. I told my husband about the posting and he just laughed. The phrase "sticks and stones" comes to mind.
                Enough with the drama!

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