There are also a few "treat queens" at the barn who like to go around stuffing horses' faces with all kinds of treats, and being the ham that he is, my horse loves it. Not so good for his belly, though. I added to the above English paragraph, "ALSO, PLEASE DO NOT FEED HIM ANY HORSE TREATS." I know I'm going to get a lot of eye-rolling "stick-in-the-mud" accusations, but so be it. My standard response will be, "You can give him a treat if you buy him a tube of Gastrogard. That'll be $37, please."
I think the real trick, though, will be if anybody actually bothers to read the note. There seems to be a lot of selective illiteracy going around.