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Freakin' mare!--A month gone by w/o her. (Final moments p.8; maybe mare update p.12)

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  • Original Poster

    Holy crap, I've been a wreck the last 24 hours. I was crying within 5 minutes of opening my eyes this morning, and randomly at lunch just broke down sobbing. My 5yro son walked over and hugged me, and I cried on him. He later brought me two Breyer horses, saying, "Here Mommy. These two horses can keep you company."

    I've agonized over this, but my husband and I agreed...it is time to say goodbye. GAH it kills me to say that. Still. But, she is in pain, even with the medication. She is walking and using the leg now, but tonight, spending a lot of time with her, I could see...she isn't right, and not just in gait. She is dull; languid. She just wanted to put her head in my lap and seemed unusually disinterested in grazing (I led her 10' out of her stall and sat in a chair with her lead rope in hand--just to let her out). She grazed, don't get me wrong, but seemed to just want to go back to her stall. She nickered for and readily ate her dinner, but again--something is different in her demeanor. My sweet baby.

    I made the appointment for Friday at 10am. I figured it gives me time to say goodbye and love and spoil her until then, and then I don't have to go back to work the next day to try and function. Her pain will be managed in the meantime.

    I knew this day was coming as I recognized she was growing older. I just didn't think it would be today.
    Last edited by Lauruffian; Sep. 26, 2011, 09:55 AM.
    SA Ferrana Moniet 1988-2011
    CP Trilogy 2002-2015
    My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie


    • #42


      • #43
        I'm so very sorry.

        Your love for this mare comes through in your posts and I'm sitting here crying with you.

        A random stranger sends you--well, I don't know what to send you, really, but hugs, best wishes, deepest sympathy.


        • #44
          I'm so sorry.
          If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. - Lemony Snicket


          • #45
            I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You clearly love Ana and will make the right decision for her.


            • #46
              So sorry. I knew you would know what to do. Please remember that euthanasia is the greatest gift you could ever give. It is literally taking their pain away and making it your own so wear that pain like a badge that shows just how deep your love went. Godspeed.
              McDowell Racing Stables

              Home Away From Home


              • Original Poster

                She still would crawl into my lap if she could.

                And I would take her.
                SA Ferrana Moniet 1988-2011
                CP Trilogy 2002-2015
                My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie


                • #48

                  You know her best. And it sounds like she's telling you it's her time.

                  I'm so very sorry.
                  Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
                  Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
                  -Rudyard Kipling


                  • #49
                    Many hugs to you and everyone who loves your mare.


                    • #50
                      (( Many hugs ))
                      <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.


                      • #51
                        Many hugs. You've made the toughest call - the mark of a truly loving owner. I'm so sorry.


                        • #52
                          I'm very very sorry. Bless you for giving her the life and release that every horse would wish for.
                          Against My Better Judgement: A blog about my new FLF OTTB
                          Do not buy a Volkswagen. I did and I regret it.
                          VW sucks.


                          • #53
                            ((hugs)) You made the hardest choice for you and the best choice for your mare.

                            She can join our sweet mare that we sent across the Rainbow Bridge unexpectedly last Thursday.
                            Crayola Posse~ on the bus in Mahognany


                            • #54
                              The very sad merit badge earned by a true horsewoman: the one where the horsewoman puts her horse before herself. The most gracious final reward any horse can hope for, and lucky are those horses who receive it.

                              So, so sorry.


                              • #55
                                So very sorry.
                                What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!


                                • #56
                                  I'm so sorry. I myself have a geriatric horse whom I love dearly, so while I can't begin to comprehend what you're feeling at the moment, I can sort of empathize.

                                  Hugs and hope "the day" goes as smoothly as possible.


                                  • #57
                                    I am so sorry. Make sure you spend this week, not just for her, but for you and family as well. Take lots of pictures, get some of her hair, gmnaybe even get a hoof print with plaster of Paris. Buy her a carrot cake and groom her. . When Chocomare had to put her Star down, we gave her a carrot cake, and spent a long time grooming her and taking pictures, before the vet arrived. Which brings me to another point - do have a close friend with you, who is willing to be there to the end, in case you can't.

                                    The Equine Wellness and Nutrition FB Group - Come join us!!


                                    • #58
                                      I'm so sorry.


                                      • #59
                                        I am so sorry for your pending loss and your sweet mare's pain. I admire and support your decision and courage. This will be both the longest and shortest week of your life I imagine. Love and spoil her rotten for the week and try and remember the happy times. We are all here for you.


                                        • #60
                                          My heart breaks for you - this is very very sad. But like others have said if you can, take comfort in knowing you are doing the right thing by your lovely mare. It's just so damned heart wrenching to do what is right.

                                          There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness". - Dave Barry