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I think I am going to be ill- what to do? update pg. 5

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  • I think I am going to be ill- what to do? update pg. 5

    Just to let everyone know, this thread is from 2007 . If you are interested, there is an update (post 100).

    __________________________________________________ ______________

    Brief background: I recently sold my Novice horse, Ty, because he was not solid enough on XC. I took the money that I got from selling him and bought Connor, who is a 5 y.o. Tb that has gone around Training clean. He has some issues in dressage, but in the short time that I have had him, he has made dramatic improvement. The plan was to spend the winter working on his dressage and then start at BN in the spring and go from there. My trainer loves this horse and can't say enough good things about him. And, I am looking forward to something that is a machine on XC that I can finally have fun on and I would like to see how far we can go. I do have two other horses, one that is doing well at Elementary and one that hopefully will start this spring.

    My non-horsey husband was not too happy that I spent all the Ty sale money (and then some) on Connor, especially since I bought Ty for a song and sold him for almost five times as much. In order to justify having all these horses, Mr catalina would like to see some money coming in, rather than it all just flowing out.

    Which brings me to the crux of the problem: my trainer just called me and said that a client of a friend of hers is looking for a horse and Connor fits the bill perfectly. She wants a young, big, nice moving Tb that can go Prelim and she is willing to pay over twice what I paid for him and she wants to come see him on Friday. I am so torn over what to do now that I feel like throwing up. I can't even tell my husband because, as a non-horsey male friend of mine said, he would decapitate me if I didn't sell the horse. But, this is my horse and I worked hard improving Ty to the point that I could sell him for enough to buy a horse like Connor.

    I am just so torn. Connor is a really cool horse that I think I could have a lot of fun on, but there are tons of other OTTBs out there that I could have just as much fun on. But, I have one now that I really like and I don't have to go searching to find another one like him. But, he could get hurt and then where would I be. But, I could see how far we can go and then really get a lot of money for him. I am SO confused .
    Last edited by Catalina; Dec. 29, 2009, 09:01 AM. Reason: Updated

  • #2
    Yikes-I feel for you! If you really get along with Connor I say keep him! After just coming off a long horse search (finally found one) and still looking for one to lease, it's tough to find one you really love!

    But if you aren't totally attached to this guy yet, then it wouldn't hurt to allow this person to come check him out.

    It all depends on what your goal is-if Connor can do the xc great and build your confidence then you might want to stick with him, but if you dn't mind a greenie who is OTT, then it might be worth sending him on.

    Whatever you do -DON'T Tell the hubby until you have made up your mind!

    Comment


    • #3
      It is pretty darn hard to find a horse that you love, that you really click with - there are alot of OTTBs out there, but very few will fit into this category for you. So, if I were in your place, I would stick with Connor and ask my trainer to sell one of the others.

      The only question in my mind is - why did your trainer come to you with this opportunity regarding Conner - if she knows you are happy together and a good fit, it seems odd that this would come up - it isn't as though you told her that you'd be interested in selling him, right? Is there some reason that she doesn't think you should hold on to him? Just curious.
      Treat Jockey for Spellbound and Smidgeon

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      • #4
        Is your goal prelim or a safe bn - t horse? You are likely to find another one if it's the later, and quite easily too.

        As much as I want to say keep the pony, Hubby is ubber important to and you have to consider your marriage (which is probably why you are even considering it).

        Nobody can answer it for you. Follow your instincts. Good luck! Not an easy choice by any means, but personally, my (2 legged) family comes first.

        Comment


        • #5
          If you are a professional, sell the horse. But if you are an amateur, then hang onto who you love.

          This is the deciding factor between a hobby and a job.

          Comment


          • #6
            You need to work this out with your husband. Do you have the horses as a business....or are they your pets. Neither answer is wrong...but your answer does tell you what you should do. If it is a business....if they like him and offer you a great price (what you have decided is worth selling him), then you sell. If it they are your pets...and your marriage will survive...you keep him.

            But I agree...I wonder why your trainer would even suggest it unless you said they are all sale horses of if they don't think it is a great fit for you.
            ** Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. ~Winston Churchill? **

            Comment


            • #7
              Can you sell the other two? You won't get nearly as much for them, but then you'll also reduce your horse-keeping expenses by 2/3rds, and you'll have more time to devote to the horse that you obviously want to keep.

              Think about what your riding goals are. If you eventually want to do solid training and possibly move up to Prelim, keep him. If you just want to ride and event, keep one of hte other ones and sell this one.

              And not that your marriage is any of my business, but... how would you like it if your husband was buying and selling expensive items (cars, motorcycles, gambling, whatever...) and not discussing it with you as his partner and equal? I think you should be upfront with him and talk it over with him. Who knows, he may surprise you and give you some great advice or a perspective you weren't thinking about.
              ~Living the life I imagined~

              Comment


              • #8
                Sell You know a bit about me but I think it's important to always view horses from a business point of view. I love my horses but they are always for sale if the price and home is right. I am not a person who believes that there is only one horse you will fall in love with. I see so many horses that just when I think they are super nice another equally nice horse comes along. The market is down right now so you could find a nice horse with that $.

                Take the $$ and put it in a cd or money market and watch it grow and then wait for the next Mr. Right to appear.

                a horse can get hurt in a second...I always take the $$ if I like the person.
                http://www.benchmarksporthorses.com/

                Comment


                • #9
                  I can't even tell my husband because, as a non-horsey male friend of mine said, he would decapitate me if I didn't sell the horse.
                  bornfree is right, you need to be open about this with your husband. I would mourn terribly if I lost my horse, but I would lose so much more if I lost my OH.

                  You can tell him what you told us-- you finally feel like you are clicking with this horse, and youre proud of how you improved Ty to the point that you could sell him for decent money.

                  Not an easy conversation... hugs to you.
                  SportHorseRiders.com
                  Taco Blog
                  *T3DE 2010 Pact*

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I think if I had a student who got offered a nice price for their horse and I thought they could find something as nice at a lower price I might recommend it.

                    I don't ask my husbands opinion on horses mainly b/c it's my money (we have his, joint and my account to make our marriage happy). If the decision affected $$$ that I used jointly I would discuss with him. If your horse is the only horse that makes you happy then there is your answer.
                    http://www.benchmarksporthorses.com/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Well, depends upon your goals and timeline for achieving them.
                      If you want to hit the mid to upper levels soon, then I'd say you should keep him, since he's got the most experience and can take you there quicker.
                      If you don't care that much about it, then let him go and take some of those dollars to spend on bringing along your other two.
                      If you DO keep Connor, perhaps consider letting one or both of your other two go, so that you get some dollars in and save some, as well!
                      It's really hard as a FT working ammy to keep more than one horse going, esp when you've got another little rider coming along!
                      Maybe compromise on the number of horses you are going to keep in work, satisfy your spouse with some money coming in, less going out and a bit more time for family???
                      I KNOW all this juggling is hard for all of us!
                      One thing you can give and still keep is your word.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        None of us can really give you the best advice without knowing you/husband/horses -- but pay attention to YOUR reaction to our comments -- "no way" "hmm, that's a good point," etc. -- as that will help you sort out your thinking.

                        Keeping multiple horses is both expensive and time-consuming (thus consuming time that might be spent with hubby, or working to pay for horses)...I'm kind of in the camp of seeing whether you could downsize rather than selling on the one you are so excited about.

                        As an ammy with a horse who has become such an amazing partner to me, and who has helped me get to prelim safely and happily, um, I wouldn't sell him for anything -- and "anything" has steadily increased, as he's become more accomplished! I really believe I couldn't find another horse this good for me if I tried for years, regardless of budget.
                        The big man -- my lost prince

                        The little brother, now my main man

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Trust your heart. Only you know the whole story with the you+horse+hubby triangle. I've seen situations where the horse owner was taking complete advantage of the family, but I've also seen situations where it's a husband/control issue. If there is any chance at all that you will completely resent your husband when you sell the horse, especially if you can't find a good replacement, DON'T do it - at least without really talking it out first. If you do decide to keep Connor, make sure you do something extra special (and non horse related) for your husband just because you love him.

                          Good luck!

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Speedy View Post
                            The only question in my mind is - why did your trainer come to you with this opportunity regarding Conner - if she knows you are happy together and a good fit, it seems odd that this would come up - it isn't as though you told her that you'd be interested in selling him, right? Is there some reason that she doesn't think you should hold on to him? Just curious.
                            Originally I was going to purchase another horse for resale with the Ty sale money, but I fell in love with Connor and his potential and that was that. My trainer knows this and is aware that I want to dabble a little in the resale market and she knows that Mr catalina would not be upset if the horse sold (he is only attached to one of my horses, the rest he is eh about). My gut tells me to sell the horse and move on, but the rest of me is really happy that I finally got a horse that I can have fun with (XC was really becoming unfun fast with my last horse). Plus, to be blunt, my trainer gets a piece of the pie if he sells. I don't have a problem with that because I understand that this is her livlihood and she has done a TON for me over the years and not charged me for it.

                            I believe that every horse is for sale for the right price and so I view my horses as pets that could become business. My biggest problem with selling Connor is that I have barely tapped into the potential that he has. But, I do recognize that horses can get hurt and so it is better to take the check and run. But, I want a horse that I can trust XC and not have to go through the whole introduction process just to realize that they don't really like it that much (like Ty). I just want to scream....

                            Of course, if jleegriffith would sell me Carling ....

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by allisontatman View Post
                              Yikes-I feel for you! If you really get along with Connor I say keep him! it's tough to find one you really love!
                              That's exactly what I was thinking....
                              Amwrider: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their genitalia and may their arms be too short to scratch.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Tough decision.

                                You need to keep yourself happy, but also your SO. Can you sell the lower level ones and reduce your costs? Maybe that would be a way for you to keep Connor and not feel guilty about it. If not, personally, I'd say sell. You'll know he'll have a good home and continue his progress, and you'll have double the (seemingly big to you) $$ you paid for him to then spend on another horse. There are a lot of horses out there, so if you're not too attached to Connor, you'll probably be able to find a horse to replace him relatively easily.

                                As for your trainer, don't feel bad about the suggestion to sell. We feel obligated to bring this stuff up. I have a horse in my barn owned by two sisters and I know quite well that they have no intentions of selling him any time soon. However, someone offered a good amount of $$ (much more than they paid for him), for him and I told them about it. It's not that I wanted to pressure them into selling, but that I didn't want them to NOT know about that offer. It was enough money for both sisters to get a very nice new horse of her own! They didn't want to sell, but I don't think it bothered them that I brought it up.

                                I sold a beloved pony about 2 years ago. I didn't want to sell him at all, and he was not for sale at the time, but the money was just too much to turn down. I am a pro, but there are some that come around sometimes you just don't want to part with because they are too valuable. But it was just a logical and business decision.
                                ...for there are wings on these hooves, the speed and power of foam-capped waves...
                                *~v~*~v~*~v~*~v~*~v~*~v~*~v~*
                                Proud member of the artists clique

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  I think you've received really good advice here, and I'll add my 2 cents.

                                  Keep Connor since you like him so much, and work really hard at selling the other two horses and then doing something financially sensible with the money--paying off credit cards, paying down the mortgage, creating a savings account, etc.

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by KateDB View Post
                                    Well, depends upon your goals and timeline for achieving them.
                                    If you want to hit the mid to upper levels soon, then I'd say you should keep him, since he's got the most experience and can take you there quicker.
                                    If you don't care that much about it, then let him go and take some of those dollars to spend on bringing along your other two.
                                    If you DO keep Connor, perhaps consider letting one or both of your other two go, so that you get some dollars in and save some, as well!
                                    It's really hard as a FT working ammy to keep more than one horse going, esp when you've got another little rider coming along!
                                    Maybe compromise on the number of horses you are going to keep in work, satisfy your spouse with some money coming in, less going out and a bit more time for family???
                                    I KNOW all this juggling is hard for all of us!
                                    Part of the problem is that I am not sure what my goals are. After struggling at Novice with Ty, anything bigger then that still looks HUGE and so I don't want to attempt to do Training or Prelim. But, I am aware that a lot of that is because I could not trust Ty 100% XC. I have not schooled Connor XC yet, but his record shows him going clean XC with an amatuer and he certainly has no issue with the jumps in my arena, so I am not sure if he will instill the confidence in me to go higher then Novice or not. Before my son was born I did the high A/A jumpers and never thought twice about the fence heights. I used to occassionally jump Picasso 4'9" just for the heck of it. But, if I sell Connor now, then I will not have an opportunity to know how far we could go. I do intend to put Catling on the market in the spring because she is just too small for me (I am 5'10" , she is 15.2 h).

                                    Like jleegriffith, my husband have mine/yours/ours accounts, but I still consult on things with him. I say I can't talk to him about this because I know he will say 'sell' because he doesn't care about the possible potential, he cares about the money (and I don't blame him- horses are expensive and he has been very tolerent of my passion).

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by Fence2Fence View Post
                                      I think you've received really good advice here, and I'll add my 2 cents.

                                      Keep Connor since you like him so much, and work really hard at selling the other two horses and then doing something financially sensible with the money--paying off credit cards, paying down the mortgage, creating a savings account, etc.
                                      I like that idea, but, like everything, it isn't that simple . I want to try to sell my Elementary horse, but the market is lousy right now and so I want to wait until the spring. I also want to try to get her out some more to make her more appealing. My other horse needs to take a trip to the cowboy to get over his trailer claustrophobia before he can be marketable. I plan on sending him to boot camp in March. Right now, Connor is by far and away the most sellable.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        I must be typing slow today...as others posted before I did...

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