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Spinoff: What funny things non-horse people say to YOU

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  • Spinoff: What funny things non-horse people say to YOU

    I was laughing at the threads on the H/J and Evening forums about using horse lingo to non-horsey people and I had a funny memory. Ever have a non-horsey person try really hard to use horsey lingo back to you, only they don't have a clue what they're talking about? I heard some good ones but my favorite by far:

    My mother, who at the time was totally clueless about horses in general, while we were discussing vetting a horse with the horse's owner: "Oh well, we will need to vet this horse thoroughly. I mean, we can't take him if he's caught founder or anything."
    Eventing-A-Gogo: Adventures of a Barefoot Event Horse and her Human
    The Reeling: An Unexpected Mareventure

  • #2
    I once had a non-horse friend who wrote a story about horses way back when we were in middle school. As I distinctly recall, she wrote the following:

    "The stallion pawed the ground with his muscular hoof."

    I think I about died from LOL.


    • #3
      Maybe it reflects the popularity of the breed, or the area where I live, but when someone finds out I'm into horses, their first question is almost always "Quarter horses?". Or the second most popular: "You mean like equestrian?".

      I am unfailingly nice when I answer (what I say really depends on my "read"--are they actually interested, or just making conversation?) because it always makes me sad when horse people roll their eyes and make fun of people who don't understand their world.

      I might say something as simple as "I have jumping horses" which the not-really-interested can easily "get", or if they really seem to want some details I'll tell them what I really do. You know, shovel a lot of poop, write checks, throw hay, etc.
      Click here before you buy.


      • #4
        I was giving a tour of our farm in the summer and all horses were turned out with fly masks. One of the people in the group asked why we had all the horses blindfolded. I told him it made them more docile to handle.


        • #5
          I was at a barbecue at my friends house this summer. She and her husband are reiners.

          they let me ride their stallion--do the spins and slides!! sooo fun.

          two non horsie friends yelled at me from the rail:
          "Make him sprint! "

          We still make fun of that one. In fact we have adopted the term and use it instead of gallop when talking.
          When I talk to non horsie people I tell them I make my horsie prance around, jump the big colorful fences that fall down and then I pull a "man from snowy river" and jump of cliffs.

          They like that explanation. lol.
          Horses are amazing athletes and make no mistake -- they are the stars of the show!


          • #6
            I knew some college boys who loved to watch Olympic dressage and drink beer and praise the "drunken trotting" (half pass) and the "mincing" (piaffe) and "prauncing" (passage). I have now taken Prauncing on as one of my favourites. I might start a dressage horse stud called "Prauncely Park".


            • #7
              Mr. Smokescreen is a saint but not horsey at all. He was so proud of himself when he "harnessed the horse and led him into the pasture" when what he actually did was halter the horse and led him OUT of the pasture and into the paddock. Bless his heart.


              • #8
                About a year ago, my incredibly non-horsey husband came with me to the barn, and watched ring-side while I rode the horse I was leasing. Half way through my ride, he unexpectedly says "Do a flying lead change!" I about skidded to a halt and looked at him with "Say WHAT?" plastered across my face. I asked him if he even knew what that was, and using his arms to demonstrate, he pretty much explained a flying lead change... in layman's terms. "Its when they're going like this (his right arm extended beyond the left), and then they kinda skip and then they're going like that (left arm extended beyond the right)

                Not funny because he doesn't get it... funny because he knows exactly what he's talking about! (and yes, I totally picked a winner!)

                Also, though not really a non-horsey person saying something specific, but a friend thought when I was talking about my horse's blanket I was talking about a quilt or an afghan throw. Hehe. She laughed hardily when I said "Oh! not THAT kind of blanket! its like a coat or a jacket, but for horses." She's an awesome friend, and always curious.
                Last edited by missamandarose; Jan. 14, 2010, 11:39 AM.
                I have Higher Standards... do you?
                Apalachicola Native (Alfie), '02 TB Gelding,
                Wild Man of Borneo (Hank), '03 Redtick coonhound,
                Augustus McRae (Gus), '01 Bluetick coonhound


                • #9
                  Originally posted by hstone View Post
                  I was giving a tour of our farm in the summer and all horses were turned out with fly masks. One of the people in the group asked why we had all the horses blindfolded. I told him it made them more docile to handle.
                  ROFLMAO. OMG.
                  Horses are amazing athletes and make no mistake -- they are the stars of the show!


                  • #10
                    Because of inconsistent levels of success, I decided to stop eventing my horse as he got older. When I told my non-horsey husband about that decision, he said, "Oh no! You're not going to become a Dressage Queen?!"

                    ...have no idea where he got that from, but it sure made me laugh.


                    • #11
                      Not entirely the same thing, but I was once giving a lecture about wrapping to a group of D1s in pony club who were really young, and when I asked "does anyone know why we wrap a horse's legs?" an enthusiastic young pony clubber said: "so the horses stand up straight!" I had to try SO hard not to laugh.
                      Last edited by pday09; Jan. 14, 2010, 01:17 PM.


                      • #12
                        I've been with my BF for 9 years and he's learned a lot about riding and horse care. One day he had an upset stomach and said "Owee! I think I'm colicing!" I asked him if he wanted me to walk him

                        When I tell people that I have a horse, they say "oh, you must be loaded." I tell them that "no, I'm poor because I have a horse." They ususally look at me funny after that.


                        • #13
                          Slightly OT, best line by a pony clubber ever, during a rating. The examiner asked if the child was dressed formally or informally (pony club has very strict definitions of these terms). The child incorrectly said formally. In an effort to help her see that she'd answered wrong, the examiner said, "And why are you dressed formally?"

                          The child said, very politely, "Because they told me I had to, Ma'am."


                          • #14
                            I always get a kick out of people saying, "Don't walk behind the horse, he could buck you!" I hear that a lot for some reason.


                            • #15
                              Several years ago, the vet was out at my (now former) barn for fall shots. I asked him to pull blood on my horses for an updated Coggins. The BARN OWNER (an actual horseperson) goes to the vet, "Do I really need to do that, too? I mean, have we even HAD a case of Coggins around here in the last 10 years?"


                              • #16
                                My non-horsey friends always think I'm saying I'm going to the bar when I am actually going to the barn. All my friends must think I'm a drunk!


                                • #17
                                  When I attended my first semester of University, I lived in dorms and kept my horse about 40 mins. away. I used to say to my dorm-mates, "I'm going out to see Blue," or "I'm going out to ride."

                                  One of them told me that for the first couple months, she thought I had a bad-ass biker boyfriend named Blue.

                                  You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng


                                  • #18
                                    My non horsey husband sometimes watches my lessons or goes to shows. He always asks, "why do you hop up and down on the horse like that?" He has asked that many times
                                    Honey Badger don't give a s*#^!

                                    "..a three-day event is not a test of speed and endurance, it is a test of character" ~JW


                                    • #19
                                      My all time favorite is when my son was just a tot, maybe 4 years old. We were standing by my gelding's stall, and that big boy relaxed his uh, thingy, made it hard. My son stared for the longest while..... and then asked:'

                                      "Mommy, why does your horse have 5 legs?"

                                      I thought I'd die laughing, just choked for hours!

                                      Poor me, I had to tell him that wasn't a leg!


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by mybelle View Post
                                        My non-horsey friends always think I'm saying I'm going to the bar when I am actually going to the barn. All my friends must think I'm a drunk!
                                        LOL mine too.