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A COTHer parody - Update, post #152 (because we all need a chuckle)

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  • Originally posted by ACMEeventing View Post
    And the teacher becomes the student. Well done!

    Where's the little clapping hands icon?
    Thanks and by the way you are a really, really, really good writer. I copied your "Battle With The Monster" and I'm putting it up on my kitchen cupboard. I "bought some "real estate" this weekend at Senaca.

    Unfortunately, I don't think anyone knows what we're talking about. Not enough beer yet and or calgon.
    RIP Kelly 1977-2007 "Wither thou goest, so shall I"

    "To tilt when you should withdraw is Knightly too."

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      Aw, thanks eventer55! My non-horsey sister also posted it on her kitchen cabinet for motivation. I was like "do you even know what a Swedish over is?" She said no, but it sounded bad

      Sorry you got lawn darted at Seneca. That bites.

      And @ Pegasusmom - moving near the 1st of November. Give me 5 minutes and that date will change again Can't wait to watch you drive the carriage by! I'll be your support crew like at marathons. When I see you coming I'll hold out a plastic cup with some form of bubbly liquid refreshment. You can take a slug then pour the rest on your head. Of course, you'll smell like beer the rest of the day but there's worse things.
      Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman.

      The Grove at Five Points

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Eventer55 View Post
        Not enough beer yet.
        sorry did my horse drink it all at the water complex?

        Comment


        • I'm sitting here pondering the cost/benefit analysis for a bath in Theakston's Old Peculier which is once again available in the US. Plenty of bubbles, probably excellent for the skin, Would probably cure all joint ailments. And so much fun to drink and drown in. I'd die happy.
          Last edited by vineyridge; Sep. 27, 2012, 09:48 PM.
          "I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay."
          Thread killer Extraordinaire

          Comment


          • Viney, isn't Old Peculiar found in the bloodlines of excellent jumpers? I seem to remember a thread about that...
            They don't call me frugal for nothing.
            Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              Originally posted by frugalannie View Post
              Viney, isn't Old Peculiar found in the bloodlines of excellent jumpers? I seem to remember a thread about that...
              Sorry Frugal, you must be confusing it with the lesser known Fernhill Old Peculiar.

              And Viney, I like your style. You can soak and sip with minimal effort. Genius, just genius.
              Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman.

              The Grove at Five Points

              Comment


              • Indeed, Old PeculiEr (not to be confused with Fernhill Old PeculiAr) was a very influential sire in the foundation days of the American Thoroughbred. Born in Yorkshire, a deep liver chestnut with blonde mane and tail, he was imported to the Virginia in Pre-Revolutionary days. He is not in the GSB, as he was one of those exports to America who was not deemed fit to be considered an "aristocratic" English thoroughbred. However, it must be noted that he is famous for his strength, soundness and very sweet disposition. Because of his unusual strength, which came from near perfect conformation, he is occasionally seen today in jumpers and is well loved by knowledgeable eventer riders, who have been known to dance on tables when he is present.

                In Dosage, he is generally considered to be in the Stout category.

                HOWEVER, given the paucity of the historical records, there are some who deny that Old Peculier was even a thoroughbred, since he seems to lack the light and elegant characteristics of the breed. These dissenters would argue that like at least one other stallion who had an impact on the early TB, he was a British draft, not entirely unlike the modern Irish Draught who are generally considered Stout.

                It is believed that his breeder was related in some way to the current Samuel Smith.

                Snoopy can probably verify some of the above.
                Last edited by vineyridge; Sep. 28, 2012, 09:41 AM.
                "I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay."
                Thread killer Extraordinaire

                Comment


                • Viney, have you ever explored Old Peculier's connection with the Old Speckled Hen line? (The latter generally not found in the US except in the offspring of Smithwick's.) I don't think there's any overlap with the Grey Goose line, but I would defer to your greater knowledge.

                  And I thought his breeder was related to Samuel Adams?
                  Last edited by frugalannie; Sep. 28, 2012, 11:16 AM.
                  They don't call me frugal for nothing.
                  Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.

                  Comment


                  • There may well be some connection between Old Peculier and Old Speckled Hen. He is a good bit stronger than she, as one expect of a male; and while her disposition at the finish is said to be dry, his is definitely on the sweet side.

                    Samuel Adams might have emulated some elements of the breeding recipe that produced Old Peculier. His mares' production of Old Peculier type horses has been extremely small but of top quality.
                    Last edited by vineyridge; Sep. 28, 2012, 12:20 PM.
                    "I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay."
                    Thread killer Extraordinaire

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by vineyridge View Post
                      There may well be some connection between Old Peculier and Old Speckled Hen. He is a good bit stronger than she, as one expect of a male; and while her disposition at the finish is said to be dry, his is definitely on the sweet side.

                      Samuel Adams might have emulated some elements of the breeding recipe that produced Old Peculier. His mares' production of Old Peculier type horses has been extremely small but of top quality.
                      Oh great, now I'm thirsty !

                      Comment


                      • 'scuse me, Flying Ponies. That's not thirst: that's research.
                        They don't call me frugal for nothing.
                        Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          Narrator: It’s been quite some time since we’ve been able to capture the migratory Eventers in their natural habitat. It would appear that they are participating in some kind of strange “learning” ritual. Let’s listen in.

                          TD: Alright people, listen up. As you know, your usual TD is out with the flu. I will be your substitute. I don’t want any chicanery out of you people. I do NOT play.

                          Riderboy: Did someone say substitute? Oh, this is gonna be fun.

                          TD: Let’s take roll. Pay attention, people. Snoopy?

                          Snoopy:

                          TD: Judybigredpony?

                          JBRP: Here. And let me just say you have got to see the new one. Jump? Got it. Good mover? 10. This one will not last more than an hour. Aaaand he sold.

                          TD: Polydor?

                          Polydor: P.

                          TD: JER?

                          JER: Sorry, I’m going to need a hall pass. Pentathalon Finals and all.

                          TD: Penta-what? Nevermind. Deltawave? Deltawave?? DELTAWAVE???

                          (Mutterings around. Where is she?)

                          TD: Okay, detention for Deltawave. ACME?

                          ACME: Presthent

                          Pegasusmom: ACME, are you drinking in class? You should be ashamed! Oh, who am I kidding, where’s my glass . . .

                          TD: Detentions for both. JP60?

                          JP60: I’d like to thank the class for giving me this opportunity to speak. As a pilot and an accomplished sailor, I feel more than qualified to speak to the heart of this sport (see footnote). This is not a test of athleticism, this is a test of partnership. A test of one-ness. No ribbon or number can possibly describe the freedom from truly knowing what your horse is thinking; not in a figurative way, I mean literally, KNOWING what your horse is thinking . . .

                          BFNE: Seriously JP60? This sport is completely about athleticism. And that’s the last I’m going to say about it.

                          JP60: Well, I think you’re wrong. It’s all about the partnership. And that’s the last I’m saying about it.

                          BFNE: Agree to disagree. And now I’m done. Not saying another word about it.

                          JP60. Disagree to agree. I’m out. No more energy devoted to this.

                          TD: My God, enough. Detentions for both.

                          Greenie1: Hi, sorry I’m late. My stupid BO has an obnoxious new horse and she won’t listen to a word about it. Clearly does not want to learn a thing from someone as experienced as myself. And what with me struggling with my horse’s new diagnosis of multiple personality-gluten allergy-mystery tail lameness . . .

                          Findeight: Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

                          TD: Jumpincarryon?

                          Jumpincarryon: Here. And EN is the devil.

                          NCRider: Wow, that was harsh. Who peed in your cheerios?

                          TD: Snicklefritz?

                          Snicklefritz: Yeah, here. Listen, there has been a mistake. I’m in the AP class, so if you’ll kindly give me a hall pass I’ll be on my way.

                          Gardenie: Overachiever.

                          TD: Okay class, tighten up you bunch of smurfs.

                          Weixiao and Lizloveshorses (in unison): GASP! You just said smurfs!

                          Heinz57: Hey, is that mustache coming off? WHAT!?! Is that CMP?

                          Jenarby: I’ll take care of this, I have an elite team of Special Forces OTTBs . . . ATTACK!

                          Wildlifer: I’m blaming the establishment. I saw this coming a mile away.

                          Narrator: Oh dear, it would appear that pandemonium has broken out. The FEI is imposing some sort of sanction on free speech, USEA is discussing an alternative to detention that would require some sort of sacrificial offering, and the class has erupted into a polarized discussion on what is known as “hybrid levels”. Aaahh, everything should be fine soon, the Parelli’s have arrived with their DVD series.
                          Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman.

                          The Grove at Five Points

                          Comment


                          • Hey, where am I? You forgot me! Now I am slightly unhappy but hoping for the best and you know we are all in this together. Burp.
                            Proud & Permanent Student Of The Long Road
                            Read me: EN (http://eventingnation.com/author/annemarch/) and HJU (http://horsejunkiesunited.com/author/holly-covey/)

                            Comment




                            • Best laugh of the day (well that and my lesson). The mirror is harsh, but loving.

                              Sorry, can't stop chuckling. Well done. Between you and my trainer I am done in

                              Comment


                              • Woot! I feel so special that I made this version! And this thread rocks.

                                P.
                                A Wandering Albertan - NEW Africa travel blog!

                                Comment


                                • Well done!
                                  Blugal

                                  You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng

                                  Comment


                                  • Hey, I'm here!
                                    Give me a hand with dragging in this deer bow hunter that my foxhunter/eventer, Rubi, and I bagged. Rubi is great at treeing them. They are amazed that she can reach so high when she gets up on her hind legs. Those cliffs and natural obstacles on the mountain galloping trails are great training. Builds that 5th leg.
                                    Intermediate Riding Skills

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster

                                      Narrator: In an interesting development, we've snuck a camera in to what can only be described as a clandestine gathering. There seems to be one, more mature, eventer standing on a tree stump. What is she saying . . .?

                                      Retreadeventer: Change is coming. Change is good. Change changes things that need to change so that the unchanging is supported for the changed. Cha-cha-chaaaaange......change of fooools. I love you guys, love you so much.
                                      Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman.

                                      The Grove at Five Points

                                      Comment


                                      • Wow, I made the list here despite being based in Hunterland, I'm honored...

                                        So, I can now ask the more important questions like what color jacket would be acceptable in the Dressage phase with what color shirt on a bright bay horse with chrome? Do I have to wear white full seats? Should I buy a black bridle with blingy browband ? Would the judge notice what brand belt I wear in Dressage and mark down? Can I have matching monogrammed fly bonnet, saddle pad and polos in the show jumping? How about on CC?
                                        When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                        The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                                        Comment

                                        • Original Poster

                                          Originally posted by findeight View Post
                                          Wow, I made the list here despite being based in Hunterland, I'm honored...

                                          So, I can now ask the more important questions like what color jacket would be acceptable in the Dressage phase with what color shirt on a bright bay horse with chrome? Do I have to wear white full seats? Should I buy a black bridle with blingy browband ? Would the judge notice what brand belt I wear in Dressage and mark down? Can I have matching monogrammed fly bonnet, saddle pad and polos in the show jumping? How about on CC?
                                          I'd say you need detention, but I think you just need a margarita.
                                          Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman.

                                          The Grove at Five Points

                                          Comment

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