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Kinda Bummed

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  • Kinda Bummed

    So, as most of you know, we sold a horse back in Jan that we brought up from Novice, to Advanced. The week before advanced at Rocking Horse, he sold. Yipee.....right.

    But, as we are struggling to train the new horses we bought, to bring up the levels, and we do have some nice ones, so I need to get over this, it is just SOOOOOOOOOO, x that "o" a million more times, daunting.

    It was HARD to get that horse up that high, financially, work, vets, my nerves...lol. Now, with several that are just barely competent at BN, N, I wonder, at 51, do I, ME, Dee, have what it takes to watch it all over again?

    I have had a miserable year, with my Dad dying, and my sister dying, and selling Prince. He was like my best friend. I trusted him to take my daughter and take care of her. Now, I have to re-learn to trust again. And Prince was an amazing jumper...some of the others not so much.

    Daughter isn't have the best time either. It's frustrating to bring them along slowly, but what we know is best. She has some that in 3 years, will be wowza. But we aren't, and never have been, someone who just takes a horse right out training, or gasp, preliminary, no matter how talented. We value her life, daughter, too much.

    So...for those who have been there, and sold your high level horse, with nothing in the barn to go above novice....how did you get past that time of....OOH MY GOSH, why did I do that, and WHAT have I done, and WHERE am I going to get the next horse? WILL these make it doldroms?

    Thanks for the advice. Feeling sorry for self, which is, I KNOW, ridiculous. We are very lucky. But right now, just feeling.......overwhelmed!
    May the sun shine on you daily, and your worries be gone with the wind.

  • #2
    Gold, I haven't been in quite your situation, but I breed, and I've had the exceptional baby who was getting offers into the high 5 figures as a 3yo locally, without marketing or showing. (And we live in a notoriously frugal part of the universe).

    One week later a pasture injury resulted in his being euthanized post surgery.

    So my message is that you could have kept him and had him take a bad step... Instead you sold him to a good home and reaped the benefit. This is important to your long term plan, and that is what you have to keep in mind. Your daughter may have to metaphorically kiss a lot of frogs before she finds another Prince, but if she is as talented as you have told us, it WILL happen.

    The blues are a necessary part of selling horses, IMHO. This too will pass, and you will look back on your and your daughter's time with him as the magic that has informed your relationship with every other horse.
    They don't call me frugal for nothing.
    Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.


    • #3
      Whenever the "It's not faaaaair" refrain starts becoming audible in my head, I immediately force myself to count my blessings. In detail. And then I go do something that makes me happy and/or a good deed. Never fails. But I am generally a "glass half full" person temperament-wise.

      Click here before you buy.


      • Original Poster

        Oh, the It's Not Fair, no where in my head. We are lucky, and we both know it. It could be easier, sure, but it's easier then some. And we are lucky that we could sell Prince. It's not everyone that has a big sale like that 4 years after getting into a sport. No, we have it good. It's the missing him, and the competing at the top sports that has us down. The huge hill in front of us. We are lucky, though. We can build a new horse. We have the technology...lol, wait wrong thing...

        Frugalannie, I am so sorry to hear about your 3 y.o. That stinks. Thank you for the kind words, it was appreciated.

        now about that half full glass....where did I put the margarita machine anyway.
        May the sun shine on you daily, and your worries be gone with the wind.


        • #5
          Not all horses are meant to be the next big thing, no matter how much we love them and think they are the bee's knees. Sometimes, we have to do right by ourselves and our horses and sell them on. And because we can't all go out and by Mr. Medicotts and Mystery Whispers, that means we have to put in the time, effort, and, occasionally, frustration (also known as blood, sweat, and tears), with what we get after the one we sold.

          I feel I can speak with authority on this now.

          What makes it worth doing is the moment you realize how much nicer, more athletic, more talented, and better quality the up and comer is than the horse you sold on. It's a little bittersweet, but it is also heartening to know you made the right decision. I had that moment, just this week. I watched some old videos of Vernon, and came to realize that Toby is, far and away, a better horse. Not just on the flat (that's a given!). He's a better jumper, and a better galloper. He's got more scope, and more, well, quality. I loved Vernon. It broke my heart to sell him. I still miss him a year later. But, well, Toby is the best thing I've ever done for myself.

          You all might not be at that point just yet...but it will come. One of those youngsters will hit a point and you all will go "That's right. That's why we moved on."


          • #6
            What frugalannie and yellowbritches said, plus:

            The next horse may not be better - it will be different. Probably some good ways, some bad, but different. And you will grow to love that horse for itself. Or not - and sell it and go find the next one.

            I have been through quite a few horses now, and it is amazing how I've come to like (and even love) some of them when I was convinced I couldn't get over the previous one. (I cry whenever I send one off... even the ones I don't get along with!)

            Having said that... pass the margaritas. I am in search of the next big thing (hopefully), my budget is non-existent thanks to a couple that haven't worked out, and it's not easy.

            You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng


            • #7
              Selling horses is very sad, especially those you have watched move up the levels...pass a margarita this way, please.


              • #8
                Originally posted by gold2012 View Post
                Now, with several that are just barely competent at BN, N, I wonder, at 51, do I, ME, Dee, have what it takes to watch it all over again?
                Yes, you do.


                • #9
                  Try to enjoy this period for all the GOOD things it offers, that you didn't have while competing at advanced:

                  * Everything costs less money with a lower-level horses -- entry fees, travel, stabling, etc.
                  * You don't need to travel far from home to "campaign," saving money and time.
                  * The jumps are little and the threat of injury less.

                  The whole thing can be more fun and less stressful, if you can try to enjoy the journey rather than seeing it as an necessary evil en route to the destination. And, as you know, it's pretty important to do that -- enjoy the journey -- because there's zero guarantee that you are ever going to reach the destination you have pictured in your head.
                  I evented just for the Halibut.


                  • #10
                    It is about the individual journey with each horse, enjoy that. And every horse comes to a rider to teach them something they did not know.
                    I.D.E.A. yoda


                    • #11
                      Dee, if anyone can, you can. You and your daughter do magic. Keep on doing it.
                      --Becky in TX
                      Clinic Blogs and Rolex Blogs
                      She who throws dirt is losing ground.


                      • Original Poster

                        Thank you for the words, and encouragement, and support.

                        Sometimes Thank You isn't enough. This might be one of those times, but it made my day yesterday, and made Missy and I feel we aren't so alone after all.

                        Again. THX.
                        May the sun shine on you daily, and your worries be gone with the wind.


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by NeverTime View Post
                          Try to enjoy this period for all the GOOD things it offers, that you didn't have while competing at advanced:

                          * Everything costs less money with a lower-level horses -- entry fees, travel, stabling, etc.
                          * You don't need to travel far from home to "campaign," saving money and time.
                          * The jumps are little and the threat of injury less.
                          I'm in complete agreement. I also think that those lower costs can give a pro, especially a young one who has a farm, the chance to build the foundation for a successful career at the upper levels. The cost and time of preparing ONE upper level horse for competition, can now be spread out over 2-3 young horses. The pro also gets more miles, and exposure to different types of horses.

                          Get a few nice prospects in the barn, and sell off the ones that aren't going to cut it at the upper levels but that might make super Training-level packers or YR horses. Re-invest those funds into nicer prospects, and you can have a real shot of ending up with at least one really nice upper level horse. If you are lucky, and careful with money, you might even end up with more than one.


                          • #14
                            Was Prince the grey? I remember riding against her at the little local jumper shows when she was on that little bay pony. She and I got into eventing at about the same time, and here I am struggling to decide whether my mare can handle getting back to novice this fall. She's done a lot in 4 years.... a lot more than most can manage in that time. Tell her to enjoy her time at the lower levels, where things are fun and not so stressful. She got through the levels once, she'll make it again. Or she won't. But it's the experience that's the fun part.


                            • Original Poster

                              Yup, Prince was the grey. Do you remember the first jumper show we took hiim to at San Jac? She was doing 3', and went to turn him on an inside turn, and 6 foot wings were in the way, and he jumped them....it was a triple tabout...lol. he was special that boy...lol.

                              We went to a jumper show last night, and just had fun, something we haven't done in a while. And it was little classes, well 3'3" with one and 2'9" with the other....and there wasn't any stress, and we had fun, and she had a smile. It was great.

                              So, have the turn signals on, and in drive, heading down the next road......

                              OH, AND the Margarita machine is in the trunk.
                              May the sun shine on you daily, and your worries be gone with the wind.


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by JER View Post
                                Yes, you do.
                                IO'll second this. Mayhap I'm not completely understanding the logisitics, but I do understand the emotions.

                                Take age out of the equation. Age is never first. "Oh I'm 51 and...' BS! I'm 51 and just started and I refuse to let a number define what I can do, and what I believe I can do...neither should you. What you now have is the opportunity to take a next generation up the ladder. Be wise, be patient, be loving, but honestly, look at the potentials even as you feel the loss. I wish you the best, but like DW, find the half full glass.


                                • #17
                                  I just LOVE to see the horses I breed or train doing well with other people. That is what I do this for. Make a good horse. I am even happy when they move on and do well with the next person. I did my job and the horses have a great chance at a happy life even if they are sold on. PatO