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Funny things said by non-horsey sign. others

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  • Funny things said by non-horsey sign. others

    As I was cleaning my stalls today, I got to thinking about all the funny things my non-horsey significant other has said to me over the years. Some that come to mind are:

    After a very poor showing by my greenie at his second event, my boyfriend asks why horse was so bad. I said that it's because he's green. Boyfriend then asks, quite seriously, "When's he going to move up to another color"?

    Another time, after my upper level mare claimed temporary insanity during dressage, boyfriend asked why I didn't sell her and get a horse that behaves

    SO- lets hear em' gang! What goodies have you got to share???

    Riding: the art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.
  • Original Poster

    As I was cleaning my stalls today, I got to thinking about all the funny things my non-horsey significant other has said to me over the years. Some that come to mind are:

    After a very poor showing by my greenie at his second event, my boyfriend asks why horse was so bad. I said that it's because he's green. Boyfriend then asks, quite seriously, "When's he going to move up to another color"?

    Another time, after my upper level mare claimed temporary insanity during dressage, boyfriend asked why I didn't sell her and get a horse that behaves

    SO- lets hear em' gang! What goodies have you got to share???

    Riding: the art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.


    • #3
      This happened yesterday. I was on a hack ride. I met a man who was out working on his new house nearby. I was riding my 17.1hh TB who looks like he stepped off the track this morning. The guy walked over and said,"WOW. That is a good looking horse." (of course we all like to hear that!) So I said,"Thanks." He said,"What is it, an ARABIAN?" So, that nice fat compliment he had given me shriveled right up because OBVIOUSLY he didn't know squat about horses.. NO, YOU BIG STOOPIT, I said, (not really, but sheesh.) So, I launched into my big education speal and now he knows a little more about our furry friends! With any luck he'll let me keep riding thru his land!


      • #4
        My husband thinks the correct term for lunging a horse is "spinning" a horse. He also thinks that any horse that can jump is "scopey" (he tries to be in the know) and any horse that isn't lame is a "good mover." which, come to think of it, he might be hittin the nail on the head on some of that!


        • #5
          My husband thinks that if a horse is sick it can only be colic or founder.

          When I sold my older gelding last month there was a lot of interest since he was well known in the area. My husband was getting a bit upset about how many times I was leaving him with the kids so I could meet people. He thought I should just tell everyone to come out at the same time and have a little private auction for the horse.

          -Member of the Short Stubby Leg Clique-


          • Original Poster

            OMG-I want to print these out their so funny!!
            Keep em' coming!

            Riding: the art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.


            • #7
              Mr. Frugal's favorite part of dressage is when they do "sideways stuff".

              When we first moved into our 18th century house, we had very little furniture, and houses of this era do not come with closets. So I was in the process of sneaking out at lunchtime and searching for appropriate furniture (cheap, of course), and so was Mr. Frugal. He came home one day, very proud of himself, but laughing as well. Seems he had gone into a fancy furniture store and asked the salespeople to help him find a broodmare. He couldn't figure out why they looked so puzzled until he realized on the way home that he'd meant to say "armoire". Got to love a guy who can laugh about that!

              And every one in my family but me says that foals are "milking" rather than nursing.
              They don't call me frugal for nothing.
              Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.


              • #8
                lol, theses are funny, I got one..
                My aunt and I were lunging our, at the time 4 yr old appy, and of course, it was new to her so the whole "going in a circle" blew her mind! lol, and so my uncle was watching because it's suppose to be "his horse" (you know how that goes). and He said what if we tied her to the hitchin' post and let chip (our other appy) do it and then she can watch and know how. My aunt and I both started cracking up, and he didn't have a clue why. lol!

                "In what other sport do you put on leather boots, stretch-fabric breeches, a shirt and tie, a wool jacket, a velvet covered cap and leather gloves, and then go out and exercise?" -A. London Wolf
                \"In what other sport do you put on leather boots, stretch-fabric breeches, a shirt and tie, a wool jacket, a velvet covered cap and leather gloves, and then go out and exercise?\" -A. London Wolf



                • #9
                  My horse bucked me off a couple of weeks ago. I was just bruised and sore, but I had to listen to my entire family (with the exception of my husband) tell me that my horse was a "killer".

                  My mother told me she had talked to a "trainer" in her carpool that said trained horses do not buck and that I obviously did not know how to ride (that may be true but really...)

                  I was hacking my horse in a pasture a while back and my REALLY non-horsey husband walked by and in a snotty voice said, "You really need to get that horse in a proper frame".

                  And when writing a check out to pay for lessons, my husband (the same one) obviously adding up all the money I've spent on training, said, "When will you know how to ride?"

                  I've been riding since I was ten!

                  "I have observed in women of her type a tendency to regard all athletics as inferior forms of fox-hunting”- Evelyn Waugh

                  Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
                  Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
                  -Rudyard Kipling


                  • #10
                    Years ago my now x husband was moving some dirt
                    with a payloader in the gate between my mares
                    pasture and barn. She wanted in so she was
                    stepping in the bucket and trying to barge through even though there was no room. Later on I was laughing with him about her trying to barge through. After that I heard him telling
                    one of his buddies what had happened and explained to him it was called "barging" like he learned a new horse term. The terminology always baffled him. Im still laughing about it!!!


                    • #11
                      My dad was really mad that about all the vet bills I had to pay, so he came up to me in a big huff and told me to gather all the info on my horse because he was going to put him up on e-Bay! I told my dad that people dont sell horses on e-Bay, and his response was "Rubbish, you can sell anything on e-Bay" !!! What a freak!


                      • #12
                        I have to chime in...not with something someone said, but with what someone did...it was SO cute.

                        My brother lives in Burlington, VT, and I don't get to see him very often, so a few years ago I asked him to meet me at Huntington HT since I'd be so close. Well, he was a great sport for the entire (unusually) hot July day. I was warming up for Show Jumping when I noticed him standing on the sideline, and reaching his arm out and leaning toward me with a bottle of Gatorade in his hand as I cantered by--just like they do for cycling or marathon competitors! He had the most sincere, earnest look on his face--he wanted to help in any way he could. I just had to swoop by and grab it!

                        He's a handsome guy, too...many of the other girls competing saw it and thought it was just adorable.

                        I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. - Margaret Thatcher


                        • #13
                          I took my husband to watch a dressage show. We were watching upper levels, which I thought would be interesting enough, but he was bored to death. A scientist (neurosciences), his mind soon began to wander. First, he was really impressed with the horses' frames and how their foreheads are perpendicular to the ground. He said it would be more interesting if they got two horses going at a powerful extended canter around and around the arena, and then down centerline and **KEBLAMB**** Crash into eachother to see if any new particles were created (think supercollider where they do this with electrons or protons or something)

                          That got him thinking, they should have dogs do dressage! I asked him how they would tell the dogs the movements and he said, "They could be ridden by monkeys." I asked him how we would tell the monkey what to do and he said, "With electrodes."

                          Now, no flaming my husband for animal cruelty, he was just joking and was really bored so he had a lot of time to be REALLY creative.

                          And though I found it very funny, I'll never drag him along again! I'm afraid of what he might come up with next time!


                          • #14
                            These are great!!! I love the one about supercollider dressage horses!
                            In '87 I bought a 3 year old OTTB who happened to still be a stallion, but very mellow. Well, he had no breeding potential and I'm a single- horse, amatuer so it was clear that Sam would be gelded as rapidly as possible. The night before the surgery, I made a flip remark about 'Susie Sissors' coming to see Sam the next day. My husband turned absolutely WHITE! I had to explain the procedure and he had to SIT DOWN. He thought Sam was getting a vasecotomy! (sp?)

                            Just remember, I had it done to him....


                            • #15
                              My favorite personal stoopit comment:

                              First, realize that I work part-time, have two young kids, and have just started eventing a year ago, on my green home-broke horse, at beginner novice.

                              I was signed up for the Mark Phillips clinic at The Fork (didn't get to go--Gully was lame--I heard it was a blast) and was excitedly telling my non-horsey friends. I said, "He's the coach of the Olympic Event Team!" and one of them said, "Wow! I had no idea you were that good!"

                              They were thinking I was under consideration....

                              Which, the more you think about it, the funnier it gets.


                              • #16
                                I would just run with the Mark Phillips thing. It's funny, but at least they think your doing a "real" sport, rather than "Well, the horse does all the work". My boss rides dressage for pleasure and her daughter does low level eventing and pony club, but everyone else in the office is clueless.

                                -Member of the Short Stubby Leg Clique-


                                • #17
                                  I was just chit chatting with a random stranger one time, talking about horses. He asked me how much a horse would cost, and I told him the price of my gelding- who was actually quite cheap. His eyes got really big and he said "WOW! That much for a used horse?"




                                  • #18
                                    My wonderful long-term equine parter is a big white leopard appy mare, who my husband adores and has been around since the day he met me. One day, we were at a horse show, and a big, distinctively dappled gray walks by. Hubby comments on what a nice appaloosa that is...

                                    The worst was when I was running my tack shop. The store had stuff for everyone....from high end english tack to western stuff for trail riders. Well, this guy comes in one day, and you can tell that he is NOT a horse person, but more likely has some poor equine soul carting his uneducated butt around on the trails. He needed something for his wife's horse. "But you know," he says, "that horse is about durn near crazy. When I tied him to the gas grill..." At that point, I desperately tried not to listen any longer, and I though I was going to be sick for that poor horse, but he proceeds to tell me about how much his vet bill were and how his gas grill ended up a mile down the road.

                                    Another incident while running my tack shop... A man calls, saying that he was in earlier that day to purchase wormer, but needs to know how to properly administer it. I explain in a nutshell, and he says, "oh, I think I did it wrong. I noticed that the box said to give it orally, but I, um, gave it rectally." He then proceeded to ask me if it would hurt his horse (I told him to check with his vet...I wasn't getting in on this one!), and then sheepishly asked if it would still take care of the worms. Duh!

                                    I finally set up a photo album...take a look!


                                    • #19
                                      I was involved in running a barn/co-op for a few years. We rented the property from a man who was definitely not a horse person and was decidedly a perfectionist.

                                      One day one of the horses tied up and in his pain was pawing and scraped in the cement in the aisle. The owner was livid and could not understand why the owner let this happen. We explained over and over that the horse could not be moved, but he just didn't see that as an excuse.

                                      It took many such conversations before we finally realized why we weren't getting through to him. He thought the horse was simply standing in the cross ties. He had no clue what tying-up means.

                                      I guess he didn't 'speak horse' like the rest of us!


                                      • #20
                                        My SO is definitely NON-horsey, but he's been to watch me at a few events and tries earnestly to pick up whatever info he can.

                                        One day, I was bemoaning the fact that over the past few years my dressage has improved consistenly, while my jumping has remained hit-or-miss. He then *rolled* his eyes and said, "Oh NO! You're not going to become a *DQ* are you?!" I was so taken by surprise, that I laughed my head off. I have NO idea where he picked that up!