• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Funny things said by non-horsey sign. others

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Funny things said by non-horsey sign. others

    As I was cleaning my stalls today, I got to thinking about all the funny things my non-horsey significant other has said to me over the years. Some that come to mind are:

    After a very poor showing by my greenie at his second event, my boyfriend asks why horse was so bad. I said that it's because he's green. Boyfriend then asks, quite seriously, "When's he going to move up to another color"?

    Another time, after my upper level mare claimed temporary insanity during dressage, boyfriend asked why I didn't sell her and get a horse that behaves

    SO- lets hear em' gang! What goodies have you got to share???

    Riding: the art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.
  • Original Poster

    #2
    As I was cleaning my stalls today, I got to thinking about all the funny things my non-horsey significant other has said to me over the years. Some that come to mind are:

    After a very poor showing by my greenie at his second event, my boyfriend asks why horse was so bad. I said that it's because he's green. Boyfriend then asks, quite seriously, "When's he going to move up to another color"?

    Another time, after my upper level mare claimed temporary insanity during dressage, boyfriend asked why I didn't sell her and get a horse that behaves

    SO- lets hear em' gang! What goodies have you got to share???

    Riding: the art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.

    Comment


    • #3
      This happened yesterday. I was on a hack ride. I met a man who was out working on his new house nearby. I was riding my 17.1hh TB who looks like he stepped off the track this morning. The guy walked over and said,"WOW. That is a good looking horse." (of course we all like to hear that!) So I said,"Thanks." He said,"What is it, an ARABIAN?" So, that nice fat compliment he had given me shriveled right up because OBVIOUSLY he didn't know squat about horses.. NO, YOU BIG STOOPIT, I said, (not really, but sheesh.) So, I launched into my big education speal and now he knows a little more about our furry friends! With any luck he'll let me keep riding thru his land!

      Comment


      • #4
        My husband thinks the correct term for lunging a horse is "spinning" a horse. He also thinks that any horse that can jump is "scopey" (he tries to be in the know) and any horse that isn't lame is a "good mover." which, come to think of it, he might be hittin the nail on the head on some of that!

        Comment


        • #5
          My husband thinks that if a horse is sick it can only be colic or founder.

          When I sold my older gelding last month there was a lot of interest since he was well known in the area. My husband was getting a bit upset about how many times I was leaving him with the kids so I could meet people. He thought I should just tell everyone to come out at the same time and have a little private auction for the horse.

          -Member of the Short Stubby Leg Clique-

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            OMG-I want to print these out their so funny!!
            Keep em' coming!

            Riding: the art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.

            Comment


            • #7
              Mr. Frugal's favorite part of dressage is when they do "sideways stuff".

              When we first moved into our 18th century house, we had very little furniture, and houses of this era do not come with closets. So I was in the process of sneaking out at lunchtime and searching for appropriate furniture (cheap, of course), and so was Mr. Frugal. He came home one day, very proud of himself, but laughing as well. Seems he had gone into a fancy furniture store and asked the salespeople to help him find a broodmare. He couldn't figure out why they looked so puzzled until he realized on the way home that he'd meant to say "armoire". Got to love a guy who can laugh about that!

              And every one in my family but me says that foals are "milking" rather than nursing.
              They don't call me frugal for nothing.
              Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.

              Comment


              • #8
                lol, theses are funny, I got one..
                My aunt and I were lunging our, at the time 4 yr old appy, and of course, it was new to her so the whole "going in a circle" blew her mind! lol, and so my uncle was watching because it's suppose to be "his horse" (you know how that goes). and He said what if we tied her to the hitchin' post and let chip (our other appy) do it and then she can watch and know how. My aunt and I both started cracking up, and he didn't have a clue why. lol!

                "In what other sport do you put on leather boots, stretch-fabric breeches, a shirt and tie, a wool jacket, a velvet covered cap and leather gloves, and then go out and exercise?" -A. London Wolf
                \"In what other sport do you put on leather boots, stretch-fabric breeches, a shirt and tie, a wool jacket, a velvet covered cap and leather gloves, and then go out and exercise?\" -A. London Wolf

                [url]http://community.webshots.com/user/tjh82703alb[

                Comment


                • #9
                  My horse bucked me off a couple of weeks ago. I was just bruised and sore, but I had to listen to my entire family (with the exception of my husband) tell me that my horse was a "killer".

                  My mother told me she had talked to a "trainer" in her carpool that said trained horses do not buck and that I obviously did not know how to ride (that may be true but really...)

                  I was hacking my horse in a pasture a while back and my REALLY non-horsey husband walked by and in a snotty voice said, "You really need to get that horse in a proper frame".

                  And when writing a check out to pay for lessons, my husband (the same one) obviously adding up all the money I've spent on training, said, "When will you know how to ride?"

                  I've been riding since I was ten!

                  "I have observed in women of her type a tendency to regard all athletics as inferior forms of fox-hunting”- Evelyn Waugh

                  Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
                  Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
                  -Rudyard Kipling

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Years ago my now x husband was moving some dirt
                    with a payloader in the gate between my mares
                    pasture and barn. She wanted in so she was
                    stepping in the bucket and trying to barge through even though there was no room. Later on I was laughing with him about her trying to barge through. After that I heard him telling
                    one of his buddies what had happened and explained to him it was called "barging" like he learned a new horse term. The terminology always baffled him. Im still laughing about it!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My dad was really mad that about all the vet bills I had to pay, so he came up to me in a big huff and told me to gather all the info on my horse because he was going to put him up on e-Bay! I told my dad that people dont sell horses on e-Bay, and his response was "Rubbish, you can sell anything on e-Bay" !!! What a freak!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I have to chime in...not with something someone said, but with what someone did...it was SO cute.

                        My brother lives in Burlington, VT, and I don't get to see him very often, so a few years ago I asked him to meet me at Huntington HT since I'd be so close. Well, he was a great sport for the entire (unusually) hot July day. I was warming up for Show Jumping when I noticed him standing on the sideline, and reaching his arm out and leaning toward me with a bottle of Gatorade in his hand as I cantered by--just like they do for cycling or marathon competitors! He had the most sincere, earnest look on his face--he wanted to help in any way he could. I just had to swoop by and grab it!

                        He's a handsome guy, too...many of the other girls competing saw it and thought it was just adorable.

                        I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. - Margaret Thatcher

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I took my husband to watch a dressage show. We were watching upper levels, which I thought would be interesting enough, but he was bored to death. A scientist (neurosciences), his mind soon began to wander. First, he was really impressed with the horses' frames and how their foreheads are perpendicular to the ground. He said it would be more interesting if they got two horses going at a powerful extended canter around and around the arena, and then down centerline and **KEBLAMB**** Crash into eachother to see if any new particles were created (think supercollider where they do this with electrons or protons or something)

                          That got him thinking, they should have dogs do dressage! I asked him how they would tell the dogs the movements and he said, "They could be ridden by monkeys." I asked him how we would tell the monkey what to do and he said, "With electrodes."

                          Now, no flaming my husband for animal cruelty, he was just joking and was really bored so he had a lot of time to be REALLY creative.

                          And though I found it very funny, I'll never drag him along again! I'm afraid of what he might come up with next time!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            These are great!!! I love the one about supercollider dressage horses!
                            In '87 I bought a 3 year old OTTB who happened to still be a stallion, but very mellow. Well, he had no breeding potential and I'm a single- horse, amatuer so it was clear that Sam would be gelded as rapidly as possible. The night before the surgery, I made a flip remark about 'Susie Sissors' coming to see Sam the next day. My husband turned absolutely WHITE! I had to explain the procedure and he had to SIT DOWN. He thought Sam was getting a vasecotomy! (sp?)

                            Just remember, I had it done to him....

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              My favorite personal stoopit comment:

                              First, realize that I work part-time, have two young kids, and have just started eventing a year ago, on my green home-broke horse, at beginner novice.

                              I was signed up for the Mark Phillips clinic at The Fork (didn't get to go--Gully was lame--I heard it was a blast) and was excitedly telling my non-horsey friends. I said, "He's the coach of the Olympic Event Team!" and one of them said, "Wow! I had no idea you were that good!"

                              They were thinking I was under consideration....

                              Which, the more you think about it, the funnier it gets.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                I would just run with the Mark Phillips thing. It's funny, but at least they think your doing a "real" sport, rather than "Well, the horse does all the work". My boss rides dressage for pleasure and her daughter does low level eventing and pony club, but everyone else in the office is clueless.

                                -Member of the Short Stubby Leg Clique-

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  I was just chit chatting with a random stranger one time, talking about horses. He asked me how much a horse would cost, and I told him the price of my gelding- who was actually quite cheap. His eyes got really big and he said "WOW! That much for a used horse?"

                                  -Amanda

                                  www.risingstarfarm.net
                                  http://the900facebookpony.com/

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    My wonderful long-term equine parter is a big white leopard appy mare, who my husband adores and has been around since the day he met me. One day, we were at a horse show, and a big, distinctively dappled gray walks by. Hubby comments on what a nice appaloosa that is...

                                    The worst was when I was running my tack shop. The store had stuff for everyone....from high end english tack to western stuff for trail riders. Well, this guy comes in one day, and you can tell that he is NOT a horse person, but more likely has some poor equine soul carting his uneducated butt around on the trails. He needed something for his wife's horse. "But you know," he says, "that horse is about durn near crazy. When I tied him to the gas grill..." At that point, I desperately tried not to listen any longer, and I though I was going to be sick for that poor horse, but he proceeds to tell me about how much his vet bill were and how his gas grill ended up a mile down the road.

                                    Another incident while running my tack shop... A man calls, saying that he was in earlier that day to purchase wormer, but needs to know how to properly administer it. I explain in a nutshell, and he says, "oh, I think I did it wrong. I noticed that the box said to give it orally, but I, um, gave it rectally." He then proceeded to ask me if it would hurt his horse (I told him to check with his vet...I wasn't getting in on this one!), and then sheepishly asked if it would still take care of the worms. Duh!

                                    I finally set up a photo album...take a look!
                                    http://community.webshots.com/user/flypony74

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      I was involved in running a barn/co-op for a few years. We rented the property from a man who was definitely not a horse person and was decidedly a perfectionist.

                                      One day one of the horses tied up and in his pain was pawing and scraped in the cement in the aisle. The owner was livid and could not understand why the owner let this happen. We explained over and over that the horse could not be moved, but he just didn't see that as an excuse.

                                      It took many such conversations before we finally realized why we weren't getting through to him. He thought the horse was simply standing in the cross ties. He had no clue what tying-up means.

                                      I guess he didn't 'speak horse' like the rest of us!

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        My SO is definitely NON-horsey, but he's been to watch me at a few events and tries earnestly to pick up whatever info he can.

                                        One day, I was bemoaning the fact that over the past few years my dressage has improved consistenly, while my jumping has remained hit-or-miss. He then *rolled* his eyes and said, "Oh NO! You're not going to become a *DQ* are you?!" I was so taken by surprise, that I laughed my head off. I have NO idea where he picked that up!

                                        Comment

                                        Working...
                                        X