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Chained (and loving it!)

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  • Chained (and loving it!)

    It is widely rumoured that 5 deprived/depraved female working students on a Virginia horse farm have captured an innocent young eventer, and are keeping him chained in the hayloft, only allowing him partial freedom for their special version of a "work-release" program.
    Interestingly, morale on this farm has skyrocketed, and these women are considering franchising their scheme to other barns.
    This is actual fact, not rumor, as I heard this from someone who heard it from an outstandingly reliable source.
    If anyone has other details, please provide them.
    http://www.tamarackhill.com/

  • #2
    He won't be innocent for long!

    Comment


    • #3
      Ah but you see the flaw in your story?
      An INNOCENT young MALE eventer
      No such thing!
      He probably bought custom made handcuffs to fit him perfectly.
      And any gifts to him have to be battery operated since there's no electricity running up in a hayloft.
      Even duct tape can't fix stupid

      Comment


      • #4
        When you find out more details let me know. Are these women good looking? Looking for another work release student?

        AHAHA. Just kidding.
        http://secondwindequestrian.blogspot.com/

        Comment


        • #5
          Denny, you are neither innocent nor young (no offense). But I cannot figure out for the life of me why they allowed you access to the internet????
          SportHorseRiders.com
          Taco Blog
          *T3DE 2010 Pact*

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by LisaB View Post
            Ah but you see the flaw in your story?
            An INNOCENT young MALE eventer
            No such thing!
            They have to start out innocent at some point...

            They just don't stay that way for long!

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #7
              Hey, it`s cold rain, there`s nothing going on,and so when I read that a horse has been kidnapped by Canadians, I just felt it was my civic duty to warn young male eventers that their very freedom may be in peril as well, because of a similar kidnapping ring being run by event girls, who, as we all know, will stop at nothing in their quest for gold, fame and glory, including incapacitating the competition.
              Soon, I suspect, Will C, and others like him won`t walk onto the grounds of an event without armed guards.
              Then, if this perilous slide continues, can we doubt that before long the only males we see at events will be on leashes?
              http://www.tamarackhill.com/

              Comment


              • #8
                Now why the heck didn't I think of something like this? Honestly...
                "Cynicism is a sorry kind of wisdom" Barack Obama

                Comment


                • #9
                  Denny dear, what virile young man would turn down a kidnapping by fit, beautiful women? You're not old enough to be getting senile...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by denny View Post
                    Soon, I suspect, Will C, and others like him won`t walk onto the grounds of an event without armed guards.
                    Oh Christ. . . more expense?? Maybe it's a good thing Andrew's father is in the business he is in.

                    On the other hand, the leash idea doesn't sound too bad to me!

                    The Germans would call today's forecast here "sau-wetter" (pig weather).
                    www.amiddle-agedmadwomantakesthereins.blogspot.com

                    www.pegasusridge.com

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #11
                      Yep, mom, your boy is definitely at high risk.
                      http://www.tamarackhill.com/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Humm....

                        The leashes (or maybe at least collars) would denote the taken ones. This could be a good system. <G> We could maybe make up collars of different colors to show if he is taken or available and net worth! I loff it!

                        Bobbi
                        Bobbi
                        ~ Jus Passed My Zipper aka Spanky, 11yo QH gelding.
                        ~ Muskogee, 2yo Oldenburg Colt.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by pegasusmom View Post
                          Oh Christ. . . more expense?? Maybe it's a good thing Andrew's father is in the business he is in.

                          On the other hand, the leash idea doesn't sound too bad to me!

                          The Germans would call today's forecast here "sau-wetter" (pig weather).
                          I can see it now..."Back from the hot sands of the middle east, our fearless and highly trained special ops officer finds himself stumped at every turn trying to protect his teenage son from the perilous clutches of the notorious eventer babes, determined as they are to see innocence quashed and life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and finish lines enjoyed to the nth degree."
                          Hindsight bad, foresight good.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            "... what virile young man would turn down a kidnapping by fit, beautiful women?"

                            Well ... I can think of a few!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Well ... I can think of a few!
                              *SNORT*
                              Click here before you buy.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Well I wish you the best off luck ! Im crossing my fingers and hoping in the long run you can get 5 ladies to all get along while sharing 1 man !

                                Be careful not to get to sweaty as well that hay rash can be a real pain in the A**!!!!!
                                Ride it like you stole it....ohhh sh*t

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by flutie1 View Post
                                  "... what virile young man would turn down a kidnapping by fit, beautiful women?"

                                  Well ... I can think of a few!
                                  Virile STRAIGHT young men, I should have said.

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Newsflash! Tanya to the rescue!

                                    Sources have revealed that a consortium of rabid event-babes have secretly engaged Tanya Harding to perfect new methods of "Athlete Equalization", which will allow them to totally dominate the sport. No longer will these women tolerate being defeated by men, and this cruel scheme of Tanya`s is only their first step to finish the job of banishing males , even those men who agree wear breeches.
                                    "They can`t ride with their hands tied", was Tanya`s advice.
                                    http://www.tamarackhill.com/

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by denny View Post
                                      "They can`t ride with their hands tied", was Tanya`s advice.
                                      I met a paraequestrian rider with no arms...

                                      Keep 'em busy with other things, that's my advice!

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        In todays episode of Tanya Teaching:
                                        "The run up while being unnoticed"
                                        Find a dark part of the arena, you know the part that the horse thinks there's horse eating dragon lurking behind the rail. Sit and wait until IMER(innocent male event rider) is cheesing it up with another young hot female event rider. They are too busy making goo goo eyes at each to notice you running up fast and low.
                                        For preparation, the horse he has knows you so running up to him won't be a big deal and he won't alert IMER.
                                        As you swiftly run up, have handcuffs open, facing the inside. Then quickly reach up and slap the handcuff on one wrist. This has be practiced. If you have a large dog, they think it's great fun to be the handcuff test dummy. Then secure handcuff to him and the other to yourself and pull him off the horse and into the hayloft...
                                        Even duct tape can't fix stupid

                                        Comment

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