Sport Horse Spotlight

C-Quito1

Real Estate Spotlight

Birman1

Sale Spotlight

COTH_without Subscribe
  • Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You�re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the Forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it�details of personal disputes may be better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts, though are not legally obligated to do so, regardless of content.

Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting. Moderators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts unless they have been alerted and have determined that a post, thread or user has violated the Forums� policies. Moderators do not regularly independently monitor the Forums for such violations.

Profanity, outright vulgarity, blatant personal insults or otherwise inappropriate statements will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Users may provide their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, individuals, etc.; however, accounts involving allegations of criminal behavior against named individuals or companies MUST be first-hand accounts and may NOT be made anonymously.

If a situation has been reported upon by a reputable news source or addressed by law enforcement or the legal system it is open for discussion, but if an individual wants to make their own claims of criminal behavior against a named party in the course of that discussion, they too must identify themselves by first and last name and the account must be first-person.

Criminal allegations that do not satisfy these requirements, when brought to our attention, may be removed pending satisfaction of these criteria, and we reserve the right to err on the side of caution when making these determinations.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it�s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users� profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses � Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it�s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who�s selling it, it doesn�t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions � Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services � Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products � While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements � Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be �bumped� excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues � Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators� discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the �alert� button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your �Ignore� list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you�d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user�s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 5/9/18)
See more
See less

Jingles needed were for kcmel. She passed

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Originally posted by bradt99 View Post
    I wonder if she maybe took medication of some kind that made her drowsy before she got on the horse? Of course that wouldn't sound like my aunt.
    I would highly doubt this if she was as experienced as I have read she was here. Eventing is dangerous, even for the best horse and rider completely sober. It is an issue in our sport that we struggle with, but it is also a choice every rider makes on their own every time they saddle up.
    Boss Mare Eventing Blog

    Comment


    • Brad I’m so sorry for your loss and understand that you want to connect with people who knew your aunt and who could shed light on what happened. Unfortunately, as in many accidents, you may not find any clear answers. I hope you will follow the advice to seek out help from a professional counsellor to help you process the grief and anger you are feeling.
      Last edited by BigMama1; Oct. 23, 2019, 06:43 PM.

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        Originally posted by bradt99 View Post
        I wonder if she maybe took medication of some kind that made her drowsy before she got on the horse? Of course that wouldn't sound like my aunt.
        I really, really doubt that she did that.

        I understand you are trying to come to grips with how this happened. We all are. Sometimes it gets down to bad shit happens to good people.

        Riding is an sport. I know many people think that all we do is sit there and the horse does all the work. That is not the case in most riding.
        Like most sports riding takes a certain amount of hand and eye coordination especially jumping. We need to assess where the best take off point is for the jump. This is based on a variety of factors such as footing, height of jump, shape of jump, the placement of the next obstacle or turn after the jump. We then need to influence the horse to get them to take off at that spot. This can be done through the particular path we have the horse take to the jump- curved, straight, large arc and the speed- faster, slower and the length of the horses stride- shorter, longer. This takes a lot of communication between the horse and rider. This communication is done through using our body position, where we are looking, pressure on the reins, voice and potentially the use of spurs or crop.

        All of this takes a lot of coordination of a lot of moving parts sometimes in a short distance. It takes a lot of judgement. Some of us are better and quicker at assessing the best place to take off for each jump. Some of us are better than others at influencing the horse to take off at that perfect spot.

        As with any form of communication misunderstandings can arise between the two parties. Therefore a simple miscommunication with the horse may make him think we want him to take off at Point A when we meant Point B. When a horse doesn't jump at the spot we expect it we can lose our balance in the saddle and sometimes this results in getting thrown around in the saddle or falling off.

        Additionally as with most athletic sports there is always the potential for miss judging something. I think most people at some point have gone to step on, off or over an object only to realize is was bigger or smaller than we thought. This can result in slipping, tripping or falling. This is another instance where the rider and horse can part company or both can fall.

        Sometimes the rider has a moment of being uncoordinated and adversely effects the path or the jump of the horse and they can then hit the jump. Or the horse slips on the way to the jump and hits the jump.

        Sometimes the rider makes an error in judgement on where the best spot to take off for the jump and it wasn't. Sometimes the horse can bail the rider out and cover for that mistake and sometimes they can't.

        There are just a lot of moving parts, there are two brains involved, there is a lot of body coordination between two separate entities, there is a lot of decision making on the part of both the rider and the horse. When all of these things line up it is magical. But there are a lot of opportunities for mistakes.

        Think about how many blooper reels you have seen over the years of people and animals having a klutzy moment. America's Funniest Home Video is the perfect example of that. There are plenty of bloopers of top level, Olympic level athletes making mistakes. By and large the majority of the time it is funny or only results in a minor injury but occasionally the results are tragic. The results here were tragic.

        Just like driving a car the driver can misjudge their speed through a corner, miss the turn and hit the tree/curb or wind up in a corn field. This can happen with one driver and a car. The car doesn't have a brain. With a horse you add in the additional factor of another sentient being who doesn't see things from the same perspective as the driver. This is like adding another driver into the mix. Even when we are driving carefully and attentively and the other driver is also sometimes mistakes happen. The majority of the time it is a close call, sometimes it is a fender bender and sometimes people are badly hurt or worse.

        Sometimes nobody is at fault and it is just an awful tragic accident.

        I pay accidental death claims as part of my job. I have had death claims for:
        Slip and fall at home- she hit her head on the concrete garage floor and died.
        I have had an accomplished swimmer die from drowning.
        I had one jogger hit by a single engine plane that was crash landing,
        A golf cart slid on the wet grass, rolled over, the driver was ejected and killed.

        These were all accidents that resulted in somebody dying. They all left behind somebody that was grieving for them. Nobody was necessarily at fault but it still resulted in somebody dying.

        I think you should seek out a good grief counselor. It seems like you are having a difficult time right now and getting some help in processing your feelings would be beneficial.

        I am very sorry for your loss. Those of us that knew Melanie both on COTH and in real life will miss her. She was such a knowledgeable and generous person. Some people are just here in this world with us too short of a time.


        Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community. (Tidy Rabbit)

        Comment


        • I don't think I ever met Melanie face-to-face, wouldn't know her by appearance - but I used to live just north of Unionville and have always been involved in horse sport in the area, and in eventing specifically for years. It's more than likely that she and I crossed paths at Plantation or Fair Hill. And, of course, I know her from her posts here. I think realizing who she was outside of COTH and realizing that she and I could have interacted and I wouldn't even know it is quite literally stunning hard to reconcile. I always took note of her posts being from the same geographical area, and thought her to be a great resource in this community.

          My heart goes out to those of her who were friends with kcmel in real life, her family, as well as those of us who knew her only from her screen name.

          Comment


          • I have this death to deal with and one of my grandmothers died of heart failure in 2013. I know we all deal with death and it's part of the life, but it still hurts. All we can do is try to stay in good health as much as we can mentally and physically.

            Comment


            • A tribute to Melanie in (the British) Horse and Hound; https://www.horseandhound.co.uk/news...ng-fall-699415

              Comment


              • I just got back from the service, it was nice.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by bradt99 View Post
                  I just got back from the service, it was nice.
                  I'm glad it was good service. Hang in there bradt99. Internet hugs to you.

                  Comment


                  • Damn, I would've traded places with her in a heartbeat.

                    Comment


                    • Falling off or getting seriously injured is a risk everyone accepts when riding horses. All you can do is take precautions and hope for the best.

                      Someone I met while riding told me a story that has stayed with me. Her son was in a severe car accident. Instead of declaring him dead, the doctors aggressively persued CPR. They have studies which show that increasing the number of minutes of CPR increases survival rates. The doctors managed to revive him but he was left with severe brain damage. He survived but at what cost? He is kept alive by machines, and will require 24/7 care indefinitely. His mother indicated that it would have been better to let him pass, as he was no longer himself.

                      Many people enjoy riding horses and we all accept the risks- it is likely we will fall off and break something. Usually those injuries aren't life threatening. I know three people who broke ribs, one broke her leg, another her ankle. If you ride long enough you are likely to get hurt. I've had several close calls myself. I was bucked off a horse and came down head first - my helmet saved my life. I was lucky to walk away with a concussion and nothing else.

                      ​​​​​​


                      ​​​

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by 4horses View Post
                        Falling off or getting seriously injured is a risk everyone accepts when riding horses. All you can do is take precautions and hope for the best.

                        Someone I met while riding told me a story that has stayed with me. Her son was in a severe car accident. Instead of declaring him dead, the doctors aggressively persued CPR. They have studies which show that increasing the number of minutes of CPR increases survival rates. The doctors managed to revive him but he was left with severe brain damage. He survived but at what cost? He is kept alive by machines, and will require 24/7 care indefinitely. His mother indicated that it would have been better to let him pass, as he was no longer himself.

                        Many people enjoy riding horses and we all accept the risks- it is likely we will fall off and break something. Usually those injuries aren't life threatening. I know three people who broke ribs, one broke her leg, another her ankle. If you ride long enough you are likely to get hurt. I've had several close calls myself. I was bucked off a horse and came down head first - my helmet saved my life. I was lucky to walk away with a concussion and nothing else.

                        ​​​​​​


                        ​​​
                        I'm so sorry, but I hope you talked to your family about the risks of eventing and warned them that you could be seriously injured to being in a coma.

                        Comment


                        • Brad, it would be a lot healthier to not victim blame mel for her accident. You can have an accident and go into a coma from riding a bicycle or being a passenger in a car. I can pretty much guarantee your aunt would not want you doing this.

                          Comment


                          • I agree that victim blaming is not cool no matter what they are a victim of. Brad you obviously loved your aunt and are hurting but you are not honoring her passion and memory right now. You need to love all of her which includes her love of eventing her horses.
                            McDowell Racing Stables

                            Home Away From Home

                            Comment


                            • I'm angry and I have a right to be. She made a choice and it cost her her life.

                              Comment


                              • We didn't need to go to a service, none of this should've happened in the first place.

                                Comment


                                • Originally posted by bradt99 View Post
                                  I'm angry and I have a right to be. She made a choice and it cost her her life.
                                  You have every right to be angry as part of the grieving process, but be angry at fate, not Melanie. She chose to do what she loved, which means she was actually living a full life.

                                  As riders we all accept the risks, we try and mitigate the dangers as much as possible, but we can’t make them disappear.

                                  "He's not even a good pathological liar." Mara

                                  "You're just a very desperate troll, and not even a good one. You're like middle-school troll at best. Like a goblin, not even a troll." et_fig

                                  Comment


                                  • Originally posted by bradt99 View Post
                                    I'm so sorry, but I hope you talked to your family about the risks of eventing and warned them that you could be seriously injured to being in a coma.
                                    As riders we do everything we can to minimize the risks, but accept that the risks are still there. The same is true of anyone who gets in a car to drive to work every day. You understand that statistically, it’s dangerous - far more dangerous than travelling by plane or train. But you don’t worry about the risks every day and you never REALLY think it’s going to happen to you. If we did we would all be so paralyzed by fear that we’d never leave our homes.

                                    You have every right to feel hurt, angry, lost, and confused right now - that’s what grief does to a person. It’s important to get help from a grief counsellor who can recognize when the normal pain and anger cross the line and start being detrimental to your own long-term well-being.

                                    I work at a church and thus have to deal far too frequently with grieving families. It doesn’t matter whether a loved one dies suddenly and shockingly, or slowly over the course of years. Losing them sucks, period. But what does seem to give families comfort is focusing not on how their loved ones died, but how they lived. Knowing somebody like your aunt had a passion and the privilege to enjoy that passion day in and day out is special. Not everybody gets to spend so much time doing something they truly love. As time passes and the hurt starts to be less raw, I hope you can start to understand that the pure joy your aunt got from riding was a valuable gift.

                                    Comment


                                    • Brad, I know you consider Eventing to greatly increase the risk of death. Yes, there is a risk of death from a fall. After years of working in health care, I have the impression that the risk of accidental death seems to be outweighed by a decrease in death from other causes. My impression is that severe autoimmune disease seems less common in riders. Life threatening asthma seems rare in riders. There is data that the risk of severe allergic disease is decreased by early exposure to horses. I don’t have any data, but I theorize that riders are more likely to live until old age.

                                      Accidental death is hard for families. My aunt died as a teenager when a car drove up on the sidewalk as she walked down the sidewalk. My cousin died when she was on a school trip and the plane crashed. My uncle died in a different plane crash. I have some idea of what you are going through. Please talk with a grief counselor. Your church or school can help you find a grief counselor.

                                      Comment


                                      • Originally posted by AKB View Post
                                        Brad, I know you consider Eventing to greatly increase the risk of death. Yes, there is a risk of death from a fall. After years of working in health care, I have the impression that the risk of accidental death seems to be outweighed by a decrease in death from other causes. My impression is that severe autoimmune disease seems less common in riders. Life threatening asthma seems rare in riders. There is data that the risk of severe allergic disease is decreased by early exposure to horses. I don’t have any data, but I theorize that riders are more likely to live until old age.

                                        Accidental death is hard for families. My aunt died as a teenager when a car drove up on the sidewalk as she walked down the sidewalk. My cousin died when she was on a school trip and the plane crashed. My uncle died in a different plane crash. I have some idea of what you are going through. Please talk with a grief counselor. Your church or school can help you find a grief counselor.
                                        Since she was only 55, I thought she would be able to fight the head injury. You probably heard of traumatic brain injury since you worked in the helathcare field. I guess the survival rate isn't good is it?

                                        Comment


                                        • Originally posted by bradt99 View Post
                                          Since she was only 55, I thought she would be able to fight the head injury. You probably heard of traumatic brain injury since you worked in the helathcare field. I guess the survival rate isn't good is it?
                                          Brain injuries are tough and outcomes vary so greatly depending on the specific areas injured, the amount of damage and swelling, and so many other factors. Trying to make sense of it is a bit like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Unfortunately, there often no clear answers about why person A recovers from a certain injury and person B doesn’t. No two brains are the same.

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X