Stallion Spotlight

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46thlane19
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UPDATE post 68* Thoughts on this horse- and if he's worth convincing my husband!

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  • #21
    I have little kids, a 3 year old and a 6 year old, and I ride 5-6 days a week including 1-2 lessons, and I would not consider a horse described as good for a confident adult. I’m in my 40s now and I don’t want to *have to* be confident at the barn anymore. I want the horse to inspire confidence in me so I’m not out there in the arena or the field going, “oh my god, if I get hurt, how is DH going to make sure these kids have clean underwear while also being a full time partner in a law firm?” I want my goals to be the most challenging thing about riding, and not to be stuck in neutral because my horse is nervous, unpredictable, or doesn’t enjoy its job.

    In my 30s I had a horse who did not love jumping (and it was difficult for her), and I fell off every other time I went to an event. Maybe more often. Once on a solo trail ride, she got worried so I decided to get off and as I was getting off she swung around so I stepped off on the down side of a hill and fell over, and she stepped on my shin, thigh, and pelvis. She was actually a gem most of the time, especially in comparison to the unrated TB I had before that, a definite pro-ride. They were what I could afford at the time. But honestly, I should have half-leased and saved for a year or two and then bought the horse I needed. My reasons for not doing that sound so stupid to me now! I was a confident adult rider before having two horses that required a confident adult rider.

    Look for a horse described as quiet whether ridden every day or once a month. They come in all price ranges. I have the fancy WB version, but I also have the right off the track OTTB version. He’s 4 and has about 6 months under saddle, and I have this video of me cantering him on a circle and I accidentally let him sneeze the reins right out of my hands (springtime, tons of pollen). And he just continued to canter on the circle, same rhythm same everything, for a stride until I got the reins back. You want him, but as a 10 year old! Good luck!

    Comment


    • #22
      Originally posted by bip View Post
      I was a confident adult rider before having two horses that required a confident adult rider.
      That is a great line.

      Comment


      • #23
        Originally posted by Libby2563 View Post
        But I suggest you separate the question of whether the time is right for you to own a horse at all from the question of whether this is the horse.
        This is worth repeating!

        By all means, buy a horse if it’s what you want and you can make it work time wise and financially. But think carefully about what kind of horse would fit best in your life and then look for that. Sounds like you are busy and may want to consider half leasing your horse out. Then shop for a horse that would be both suit you and be easy to lease out at your barn. Your trainer probably knows best what type that would be.

        And definitely don’t believe everything that’s written in an ad. Especially if the horse has been advertised for a while with no takers and is fairly priced. Usually the ones that sound too good to be true, are. And if they’re actually as described, they’ve sold before you as an adult amateur shopping on your own even has a chance to think. Horse shopping is a gruelling and demoralizing process. Window shopping is fun because lots of ads sound great. But when you are actually shopping and start asking the hard questions, you quickly realize things are not so rosy.

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        • #24
          Buy when it will not have any financial impact on the rest of the family, the time aspect is less a factor but still partly a factor. Owning horses is a big financial investment, not just the purchase price either, there will continually be expenses, some can be big, like an unexpected colic or injury. If you aren't at a place where money isn't an issue and won't impact your family then perhaps trying a half least or upping your lessons so at least you are riding more. There are times when you buy a horse to ride and end up without a horse to ride, things happen. It's important to have your DH onboard with your horse purchase to keep your marriage happy.

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          • Original Poster

            #25
            Thanks everyone for the thoughtful input!

            I showed the videos and listing to my trainer, and she thinks he'd be a good match and worth the drive. I did message the owner and asked a few questions, and her reason for him needing a "confident adult" is that he can get nervous with a nervous rider. I think the owner is a bit inexperienced, judging from the videos, to tell you the truth. He actually looks super patient and forgiving! Also she said he's the same horse, no antics, if you just hop on after a month, which would be exactly what I'm looking for.

            I did talk to DH and asked him to be open-minded and really think about if we could make it work- he is actually very supportive and knows how much I have wanted this, but just hesitant because there are always projects around the house that stress him out because he already feels like he doesn't have time to deal with them. I understand that. I do feel a bit selfish even asking to add to that stress, but I also feel like life is short, I've put this big part of myself on hold for so many years, and we have the financial means to make it happen (we are fortunate). I'd be completely willing to find a half lessor if it turned out the time commitment was too much. The last thing I would want is for this to become a point of resentment in our marriage.

            I would be fine waiting another year or two, except that this horse looks so perfect for me! I know ads don't tell the whole story, and he could be completely different or there might be huge issues. But I can't stop wondering if I should make the drive, see if he really is that perfect, and then make it work if he is.

            Is that silly.. I guess there are always horses out there. Perhaps I let myself like him a bit too much from some photos and crappy sales videos haha.

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            • #26
              Go. See. The. Horse! Life is always going to be hectic; there's always going to be crap that needs to be done. Learn to let go and enjoy a bit. I have a husband, a now 14 year old daughter and a small farm. I work full time and commute nearly 700 miles a week. I keep more horses than I should. I struggle to get in enough riding time to make me feel competent in my riding abilities. I am actually much better than I usually give myself credit for. It's a constant struggle to juggle everything.

              But unless your are independently wealthy, that is life. My husband is often wrapped up in his job; his own hobbies or just relaxing. His job is stressful. My daughter used to ride but no longer does and is more caught up in her gadgets and friends. If I didn't have my horses as an outlet, I would go nuts.

              So, go see.
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              • Original Poster

                #27
                Originally posted by FatCatFarm View Post
                Go. See. The. Horse! Life is always going to be hectic; there's always going to be crap that needs to be done. Learn to let go and enjoy a bit. I have a husband, a now 14 year old daughter and a small farm. I work full time and commute nearly 700 miles a week. I keep more horses than I should. I struggle to get in enough riding time to make me feel competent in my riding abilities. I am actually much better than I usually give myself credit for. It's a constant struggle to juggle everything.

                But unless your are independently wealthy, that is life. My husband is often wrapped up in his job; his own hobbies or just relaxing. His job is stressful. My daughter used to ride but no longer does and is more caught up in her gadgets and friends. If I didn't have my horses as an outlet, I would go nuts.

                So, go see.
                This made my day! And it's definitely what I want to hear!

                DH and I have been messaging while at work, and he asked to see a pic of the horse He's a good man. He also said "if he's grey, I swear to God...."

                I'll keep y'all posted!

                Comment


                • #28
                  I can see why he caught your eye. I would pass. Too many horses end up as rescues for a very good reason. You already have too much on your plate to take on a horse who may have undisclosed/unknown issues.
                  Better to lease or find a horse with a better history that improves chances of not buying a lemon
                  "The mighty oak is a nut who stood its ground"

                  "...you'll never win Olympic gold by shaking a carrot stick at a warmblood..." see u at x

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                  • #29
                    Originally posted by bip View Post
                    I was a confident adult rider before having two horses that required a confident adult rider.
                    BIP, I think that this is one of the best quotes that I have ever seen on COTH!

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      bip you are spot on with that, I too, was a confident adult rider. Then I owned horses who needed confident riders....

                      OP-I have gained some hard lessons through experience so while there is never a "perfect time" to buy a horse some of what you say feels all too similar to experiences I have had and it didn't end well for me.

                      First-if this horse is truly a packer, is there any kind of show record? "rescue" type horses always have a long story full of reasons why they changed hands frequently or were never in consistent work. It's pretty rare to find a horse with that kind of history that is both sound and sane. Ask me how I know.

                      Second-of course any sale ad will highlight the good and omit the not so good, however this goes triple for a horse being sold by someone you described as inexperienced. The seller may not be intentionally misrepresenting this horse, but they may not know enough to accurately describe this horse in terms of physical and mental soundness.

                      Third-not all advice from trainers is created equal. I was horse shopping four years ago with a trainer who has known me for 16 years and has a really good eye for matching horses and riders appropriately. At this trainers advice I vetted three horses, all failed the vetting, and looking back now, all three were visibly lame in their sales video though I didn't know enough to recognize it at the time. Not to mention, your trainer is never going to fully understand your time or financial constraints, no one but you and your husband understand it. So while your trainer may genuinely think this (or any) horse will be suitable for you, be very very careful that you don't just hear what you want to hear.

                      SO all that said, yeah, go ahead and look at some horses. This particular horse would be a pass for me personally, but if you do go see him I would bring a friend who knows more than you do about horses. Preferably someone who is hypercritical, it is so easy to get swept up in the excitement of "new pony" dreams that you can miss some red flags. That's where your educated but picky and emotionally un-invested friend comes into play. I brought an enabler when I was horse shopping and I wish I had brought a nay-sayer.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Originally posted by YEG View Post
                        I showed the videos and listing to my trainer, and she thinks he'd be a good match and worth the drive. I did message the owner and asked a few questions, and her reason for him needing a "confident adult" is that he can get nervous with a nervous rider. I think the owner is a bit inexperienced, judging from the videos, to tell you the truth. He actually looks super patient and forgiving! Also she said he's the same horse, no antics, if you just hop on after a month, which would be exactly what I'm looking for.

                        I would be fine waiting another year or two, except that this horse looks so perfect for me! I know ads don't tell the whole story, and he could be completely different or there might be huge issues. But I can't stop wondering if I should make the drive, see if he really is that perfect, and then make it work if he is.

                        Is that silly.. I guess there are always horses out there. Perhaps I let myself like him a bit too much from some photos and crappy sales videos haha.
                        In my opinion a horse that needs a “confident adult” is not one that’s going to be easy to half lease out.

                        But if the horse really speaks to you, then by all means go see it! Nothing worse than going through life wondering “what if”. Keep us posted on how it goes!

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #32
                          Update: I’m going to see him on Wednesday!

                          I’m going on my own because I don’t have anyone who can come with me for an 11 hour round trip drive on a Wednesday.. but I’m NOT bringing a trailer haha, and I’ll get video of me riding which I will take back to my trainer before I make any decisions.

                          Super excited Hope I have another update for you soon!

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            Originally posted by YEG View Post
                            Update: I’m going to see him on Wednesday!

                            I’m going on my own because I don’t have anyone who can come with me for an 11 hour round trip drive on a Wednesday.. but I’m NOT bringing a trailer haha, and I’ll get video of me riding which I will take back to my trainer before I make any decisions.

                            Super excited Hope I have another update for you soon!
                            Yeah! I'm excited for you. If you like him make sure your trainer sees him before buying. My current horse I'm riding was difficult at first. Well, that's an understatement. If he thought he could get away with something, he did. Including me getting dumped more times than I can remember. But my rule always was, if it didn't leave a mark, I didn't tell the hubby. 2 years later I am exponentially a better rider because of him. And we have a good partnership.......and I haven't been dumped since Jan! Lol.
                            "Punch him in the wiener. Then leave." AffirmedHope

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                            • #34
                              I would like to see more than photos of him. At the very least I would like to see more jumping photos.

                              Whether you can afford the time for him and the rest of you life is only something you can answer.
                              Some riders change their horse, they change their saddle, they change their teacher; they never change themselves.

                              Remember the horse does all the work, we just sit there and look pretty.

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                I am WAY older than you, close to retirement, but have been through the wrong horses several times. I have 2 horses, one is out in the field healing from a suspensory issue, and the other is a 9 yoa paint who was not started until he was 7. Hence a 4 yoa in a 9 yoa body. I have had to really up my confidence game with this horse who is only 15.1! Though this horse had not done much, I still did a full vetting on him. That was not cheap. Are you planning on doing a PPE if you proceed to buy? You definitely don't want major issues down the line. I have come off once, due to him dropping a shoulder because a horse fly bit him. Even though it wasn't far to the ground, my tailbone hurt for 3 weeks. This is more of a pony than a horse, with naughty tendencies, but he's coming along well. Just be sure you really want this horse, and don't let your heart make the decision instead of your brain. Good Luck!!!

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  I really like bip's input. I have two small kids also (4 and 9) and a moderately flexible (most of the time) job, but my husband travels a LOT for work (as in, gone for a total of 4-6 months every year) and it's a struggle. I've found things do get easier once the kids are 4+ years old as they're less likely to spontaneously self-destruct.... I have the horses at home, which is much easier financially, but comes with its own set of issues (I can't keep up with mowing, pasture & fence maintenance, and all the other stuff on my own).

                                  I'm assuming you're going to be boarding; I would consider whether you can afford to have your trainer/working student ride any horse you buy twice a week, and whether your kids will be able to hang out at the barn with you while you ride at least 1-2x/week. I love doing my own training and horse development, but honestly, I don't have the time to do it all on my own consistently at this point in my life. You will all be happier if the horse is getting consistent rides even when Life throws things at you, and bringing the kids with you sometimes can reduce the chances of your husband getting resentful that he's stuck on his own at home with the kids several times a week while you are out riding. Also, it can be a lot of fun for you and the kids--you just need to be sure they're not going to be disrupting other folks at the barn!

                                  Then as far as the horse, do get something that will be kind to you and the kids. I don't need mine to be kid-safe to ride, but I do need them to be pretty safe with kids around them (one of mine isn't totally trustworthy and it's stressful). It's wonderful to be able at least to give the kids 'pony rides' and let them help with grooming, etc if interested.

                                  Good luck! The horse you're looking at today is cute, but temperament is EVERYTHING in these conditions.

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                                  • #37
                                    @ YEG - Just curious as to if you liked the horse you saw yesterday?
                                    Libby

                                    There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness". - Dave Barry

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                                    • Original Poster

                                      #38
                                      Update:

                                      Haha it's amazing how different real life can be from an ad (as you all wisely mentioned )

                                      I will say: I like this horse, he is great on the ground, very calm, affectionate, seems to have a willing brain, and I think he could be a pretty fancy little sport horse with the right work.

                                      That being said... he needs a LOT of work. As in, I've seen 4 year olds right off the track with more training.

                                      1. He has no trot. At the walk, he was super smooth, forward (good kind), ears forward, happy boy. As soon as any leg was applied, he inverted and tiptoed around like a racehorse being ponied on the track. Blew through leg yield aids, head in the air, seemed frazzled and wanted to canter. Owner says "yeah that needs work. He enjoys cantering more so I just let him canter because that's what he likes and he really finds his rhythm" yikes. His canter was smooth though, and he was able to relax more.

                                      2. His stop is questionable. He doesn't run off, but he visibly braced against the bit and took probably six strides to stop from the walk. Her solution "yeah he could probably use a harsher bit". He's already not in a snaffle (it's a thick mullen mouth with port).

                                      3. Owner says he loves to jump. Well, he certainly locks onto the jump and rushes it, but I think that's more a result of him having super inconsistent/nonexistent training, and trying to find something he can do right. Rushing in my experience does not come from love of the sport.

                                      4. As another example of her doing him no favors, she warned me that his one vice is sometimes walking off from the mounting block before you are settled. Not so bad, right? Well what actually happens is if you don't hover and then lower like you are backing for the first time, he gets startled and leaps to the side! I could fix that, but I mean, not a great start lol. And makes me wonder what other quirks she's installed.

                                      Basically, he's a greenie in a 10 year old body. My imagination is going wild because maybe he's a diamond in the rough and with some correct lunging, basics (maybe even put on by someone who's not me) and strengthening --> relaxation-- > rhythm exercises, he could be great. Or.. maybe he's not a diamond in the rough, just a turd

                                      Why do I like him? He's gorgeous (terrible reason I know), he's fancy, athletic, willing, sweet on the ground. I think I'm letting my imagination get hold of me with how I could turn this backyard find into a masterpiece.. but A. maybe that's not what I need (I was sort of looking for a packer), and B. maybe there are just too many holes/quirks in this 10 year old.

                                      Trainer said hard pass based on the lack of trot, but maybe if I could get him for a song and put that money into training?...

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by YEG View Post
                                        Update:


                                        Trainer said hard pass based on the lack of trot, but maybe if I could get him for a song and put that money into training?...
                                        I was reading your entire update and the whole time thinking "I hope she didn't buy this horse". "Maybe he's a diamond in the rough".....maybe, but probably not. At the end of the day he is 10 years old, and not only is he greener than grass, he also has some (lots of) bad habits under his belt. I actually feel for the current owner, it sounds like she's a bit in over her head.

                                        There will be another horse out there for you, trust me. It really sounds like this one is not it.



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                                        • Original Poster

                                          #40
                                          Thanks, I think you're right. I agree, I feel bad for her as well, which is perhaps partially why I'd love to make this work if I could. But that's not a good reason to buy, and there are many good reasons not to.

                                          Ah well! It would have been crazy to buy the first one I tried, anyway Now I can keep perusing ads all day at work instead, ha!

                                          Really appreciate everyone's thoughtful input.

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