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Frustrating riding buddy

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  • I thought there was some rule against identifying people on this forum. I'll have to go back and read the rules. Am I wrong? Of course, these two are referring to each other by first names, so maybe that doesn't count, and it's not giving anything away to call Debbg221 "Debb."
    "Random capitAlization really Makes my day." -- AndNirina


    • Originally posted by Snowdenfarm View Post
      You are a class act. BTW, as a result of this thread, I have stopped being available for the self-absorbed, non-stop talker in my riding circle. I realized two things, 1. I am not the selfish person, they are; and 2. Life is too short and riding is meant to be fun.
      I've re-evaluated some relationships of my own also - this thread was a good reminder that it might be time to do some metaphorical house-cleaning.

      Originally posted by dacasodivine View Post
      I am not a class act. It was a crappy thing to do.

      I'm glad you did get something out of this thread though.
      Well, now we all know what you've been putting up with. If she speaks IRL like she writes I get where you were coming from.
      I'm not ignoring the rules. I'm interpreting the rules. Tamal, The Great British Baking Show


      • Original Poster

        Originally posted by debbg281 View Post
        if it were just a vent in poor taste that would be bad enough. but I now have learned you have gone to many people on various rides and said horrible things about me. it appears this is more about a person that someone can't trust, as now that others are calling they're telling me this is what you do. I'm really sorry danette, I really appreciated when you called me months ago cause you saw i hadnt been riding lately and told me 'you wanted your riding buddy back'. (i hadnt been riding because of the heat) I met you about a year ago i think it was, and in the beginning i'd shared everything i had, books tack etc because you were trying to figure out what kind of saddle you wanted. You asked for that help. that was a year ago, and when you got this treeless all i said to you about it was 'you know how i think on treeless', other than that when you told me the other day that you thought you were going to put two saddle blankets on with it becuase it didnt fit your horse. I did remind you that the book's take on that was if the saddle doesnt fit it wont fix it long term with adding more pad. The 'vent' as you called it here went on and on about how horrible I am. I told you when we first met I am a compulsive talker, that if it bothered you to just tell me, you laughed and said you're mom was like that, so you would just ignore. But I feel what you've done is more than that, you've talked down on me to people you barely know on rides, but they know me. I have been reminded of some very valuable things with all this, i hope you've learned too that its not kosher to talk about others behind their backs. I do not know why you posted on rockin riders, I had no intention of taking this anywhere else. I have no intention of having anything to do with you anymore. I guess you needed to do that for your own guilty consciounce? I know someone who does this has low self esteem, i feel sorry for you, and wish you the best.
        First, I have NOT been bashing you to loads of other people. In the last few weeks I think I've only ridden with 2 people.

        I posted on Rockin Riders because I felt horrible. Obviously at least one person knew about it as you mentioned someone directed you here and you talked with someone else about it. I wanted everyone to know I had done wrong and apologize publicly.

        I meant it when I called you that I wanted my riding buddy back. I don't know when things really started bothering me. I'm not making excuses. I should have dealt with it in a different way.

        I'm sorry.


        • Dacas, leave it lie. She is showing her true colors here - I know she's hurt but now she's just going on and on and on and on and on...

          oh, wait, that was the initial complaint

          You never mentioned her by name. You also offered many compliments. You were confused and frustrated by your feelings.

          No harm meant on YOUR part. I cannot say the same about "Debb". She wants to harm and hurt you. Not cool.


          • You know, it's not pleasant to find out someone has been speaking about you behind your back, but frankly, anyone who thinks it never happens is just delusional. It happens-- often-- whether you like it or not. You can get upset about it and wallow in a bog of self-pity, or you can shrug it off and get on with your life.

            And in my opinion, there's a big difference between someone talking about their own experiences with another person, vs. someone spreading rumors/lies about someone else. "This person upset me because they did xyz to me," rather than, "hey, did you hear about so-and-so? I heard they had an affair with their boss and they're going to leave their husband!" OP's issues seem to fall into the former category... The latter is usually never OK, but the former? Umm, pretty normal if you ask me.
            *friend of bar.ka

            "Evidently, I am an unrepentant b*tch, possible trouble maker, and all around super villian"


            • Originally posted by dacasodivine View Post
              I am not a class act. It was a crappy thing to do.

              I'm glad you did get something out of this thread though.

              Who in the world hasn't said or done something they regret? You have learned an important lesson that any problem you have with someone needs to be handled face to face. Sadly it looks like forgiveness is lacking on both ends here and that can make things uncomfortable for you both.

              It seems that with the invention of e mail, texting and the like people have forgotten how to communicate. The written word can be very harsh to those reading it, especially when it concerns them ( and not in a good light).

              I hope you guys can meet in the middle and get past this.


              • Dachas, do not beat yourself up. You vented and did not name names. The fact that your description was recognizable speaks for itself.

                Tabula, PM to follow, thanks!


                • Originally posted by dacasodivine View Post

                  I'm sorry.
                  Lordy, I see no need to apologize. You vented. Other person's post, naming names, going on, etc, was uncalled for.

                  The post about 'unsolicited advice' is good for us all to heed, sadly those who need it most probably didn't notice.