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Update to Forum Rules: Criminal Allegations

In our continuing effort to provide an avenue for individuals to voice their opinions and experiences, we have recently reviewed and updated our forum policies. Generally, we have allowed users to share their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, trainers, etc. within the industry, and that is not changing.

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We are now expanding our policies to allow posters to share their own first-hand experiences involving overt criminal allegations, such as animal abuse or neglect, theft, etc., but only if they publicly provide their full first and last name along with the post. We still will not allow anonymous postings alleging criminal activity.

So, a user may now make a specific claim against a named individual or company, but it must be a FIRST-HAND account, and they have to IDENTIFY THEMSELVES. Users have always been legally responsible for their posts, and nothing has changed there, but we want to loosen the reins a bit and further allow the free flow of discussion and information relevant to the horse community.

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Forum rules and no-advertising policy

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(Revised 5/9/18)
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Am I on the Right or Wrong Track?

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  • Am I on the Right or Wrong Track?

    Warning: Need to Vent Post follows

    Friend - let' s call her F - who drives has inflated ideas of how competent she is at the lines.
    One deadbroke pony & several In-the-Works & by no means finished "project" Drivers to her credit.
    In the mix is a Shetland-type that matches her Saint of a pony & that she has successfully driven as a pair ONCE (on a trail drive with our Club - me as passenger).
    At one point on this drive she handed me the lines & that old saw about Rub Head While Patting Tummy came to mind. There are 2 distinct personalities on those lines!

    Since then this pony has run away with her once as a single, once in the pair - dragging along the Saint - & once single, on her own property, ending in a trip to the ER.
    Life intervening, she has not hitched him (or any of her horses) for near 8mos.
    But she refuses the suggestion of a Pro, Ego says she will be the one to fix him.

    Mutual friend - MF - grew up driving Standardbreds at the track (parents were Trainers/Owners) - IMO she has Driving Cred, although she has not driven for many years save for above friend's Saintly pony @ County Fair a couple years ago. She & F are longtime pals - some 20yrs+. I am a relative newcomer of some 5yrs to the trio.
    MF had a QH for her daughters - since passed on - but never rode herself.

    MF has relocated to another state & house has room for a horse of her own.
    Her husband - knows zip about horses - has decided to surprise her with a pair of Driving minis for her birthday.
    This is on the strength of a 4-hitch of minis he saw at Fair a couple years ago. 2 of those were sold as unsuited, owner kept the best 2 & drives them regularly.
    F contacted owner to ask if there are any teams for sale here (F has also relocated to another state, not same one as MF)

    Talking to F, I have been sworn to secrecy.
    Fine, I like surprises as much as the next.

    But... While I agree with the thought, my reservations are as follows:

    *MF should be the one to pick the mini(s)
    *MF has Driving experience, but not with a team.
    *Personally I think she should get 1, or if 2, both trained to drive, then work up to driving a pair.

    F has plans to obtain minis in my state, then drive up in the Spring to haul them to MF.
    All sight unseen & unproven < although I do trust the gal she called here to find suitable minis.
    Google found me a 8yo mini stud, from a Breeder, trained to drive, located 3h from MF. I msg'd her husband on FB, wording obscurely in case MF sees, hoping he gets back to me.

    F shut me down on all of the above with "How many times have you driven a pair?"
    Um,, never, but your 1-time success does not make you a Pro either.

    Am I overthinking?
    What say, COTH Driving Minds?
    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
    Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
    Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

  • #2
    Suggestion: You have no suggestion, you are not involved, you never say "those po' ponies", you haven't touched one...nobody saw you even look at them....RUN AWAY.

    OK, since you won't listen to those suggestions. Tell the husband to let her pick her own ponies/horses and to stay out of it. He should give his wife a check and increase her life insurance....a lot. Make popcorn, comfy seat, get out the video and wait for the drama to commence. Don't gator for her, just be willing to identify the body(ies).
    "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"


    • Original Poster

      I do not doubt for a minute that MF is perfectly capable of driving a mini, A SINGLE mini.
      Totally agree DH should fork over the $$ & let her pick her mini(s).
      Actually MF is a hella lot more level-headed than F & can most likely defuse any potential disaster before it happens.
      *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
      Steppin' Out 1988-2004
      Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
      Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015


      • #4
        Yeah tell husband to involve his wife in purchase and stay out of it.

        Oh wait. Idiot friend is in the mix shopping for husband.

        Stay out of it altogether. Not your circus not your monkeys.


        • #5
          I dunno what you should do, but I sure hope you keep us updated!


          • #6
            I agree with the above posts.

            I would be extremely upset if someone gave me any animal, but especially driving equines. What if they just aren't my cup of tea? What do I do then? Absolutely tell MF's husband to involve his wife in the purchase.

            As for F's slow motion train wreck with her own horses, as hard as it is, I would stay out of it. And I would also stay far, far away and never get in the vehicle with this person's horses hitched.



            • #7
              I mean from what's presented here it sounds like you are technically correct but people do what they want to do and don't appreciate advice they haven't asked for.


              • #8
                Ack. I would want to buy my own team! Tell him to give her a “redeem for a team” “gift certificate” in a card.


                • #9
                  Originally posted by fordtraktor View Post
                  Ack. I would want to buy my own team! Tell him to give her a “redeem for a team” “gift certificate” in a card.
                  I think “redeem for a team” is THE BEST Idea for a gift certificate! He could have so much fun with a little cartoon to go along with it!
                  Real Horses. Real Riders. Real Results! www.wvhorsetrainer.com


                  • Original Poster

                    I knew I wasn't crazy... well, at least not in this case.

                    If I can contact husband I will followup on my MSG suggestion & add the Redeem For a Team idea (Love that!).
                    If not, I will just stand back and avert my gaze.

                    cayuse Not to worry, you guys are my link to Driving Sanity
                    As things progress & as I am kept in the Loop, I will update.
                    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                    Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                    Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015


                    • #11
                      cayuse, don't you think 2DogsFarm has a lot to worry about if we are her link to driving sanity?



                      • #12
                        Originally posted by RMJacobs View Post
                        cayuse, don't you think 2DogsFarm has a lot to worry about if we are her link to driving sanity?



                        • #13
                          Originally posted by RMJacobs View Post
                          cayuse, don't you think 2DogsFarm has a lot to worry about if we are her link to driving sanity?



                          • Original Poster

                            Originally posted by RMJacobs View Post
                            cayuse, don't you think 2DogsFarm has a lot to worry about if we are her link to driving sanity?

                            Came here to update and....
                            Don't sell yourselves short COTH Drivers!
                            I've found mostly sane, sage, usable advice here on the Driving forum.
                            It may not be the busiest place, but answers are rarely the Majikal Unikorn variety!

                            Saturday my Club did a Driving Demo at a local Military Academy.
                            I went for the chance to drive in their awesome indoor < Ginormous with good footing!
                            If weather had permitted, we would have been allowed to drive on the lovely grounds as well... but cold, damp & overcast put an end to that idea.
                            Attendance was low, but the folks who run the place were very cordial & the few in the audience did want to ask questions & meet the horses & Drivers.
                            Ended up being 9 of us - several teams, Drafts & a team of minis that were a tad smaller than my Bugs.
                            He was a Total Rockstar
                            Noisy PA system, heater fans blowing, jingle bells on many harnesses & one gal who drove her sleigh on the SAND - that made for an interesting sound too
                            Bugs ignored it all, trucked around at a smart pace & even refused to canter when I asked < doing his "NOPE, I'm showing ADS Pleasure here!"
                            Best of all, he stood patiently in the lineup as we drove singly to show off our horses/vehicles/turnout while Announcer read a short Bio.
                            We went dead last, so considerable stand time for a mini who generally gets antsy standing.
                            But, I digress...

                            At lunch afterwards I found the gal F had called to search for the Surprise! team & she told me she had never taken the idea seriously.
                            So far no more brainstorms from F or response from MF's DH.
                            I will let the thing play out without further ado on my part.

                            And YES: you guys are my Encyclopedia of Driving Smarts - Deal with it
                            *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                            Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                            Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                            Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015


                            • #15
                              2DogsFarm, that's a great update! Please give Bug a scratch on the ears from me. I'm still frightened that you include me in your list of sane advisors. You'll learn!



                              • Original Poster

                                RMJacobs Don't be skeered!
                                So far you guys have not steered me wrong... nor neglected to heap on the praise, when earned
                                Consider Bugs skritched all over his wooly body in your name ​​​​​​​
                                *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                                Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                                Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                                Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015


                                • #17
                                  Oh gee, I'm pea green with envy that you were able to drive in a heated indoor arena!! The last drive I did was a Christmas parade and it was 50F with rain and or drizzle the whole time. It's been cold with frozen ground since then so no driving.


                                  • Original Poster

                                    SLW If it helps, the indoor was pretty chilly.

                                    They have gorgeous Gothic 2-story tall wooden doors & those were kept open until everyone had trickled in, warmed up, driven in & out...
                                    I was chilled to the bone when not driving, and that long standtime - while great discipline for my guy - was not helpful either.
                                    Even with thermal underwear under polarfleece breeches & wool apron, t-neck, suede jacket, hat & gloves, I was teeth-chattering C-O-L-D!

                                    But yeah, after not driving for over 2 months, it was gratifying to be able to harness him & go like he'd done it yesterday.
                                    I think I may have won the Mini Lottery
                                    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                                    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                                    Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                                    Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015