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How do you tell your husband?...

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  • How do you tell your husband?...

    Perhaps something like this....
    Hi honey, I know I just went to watch the saddle fitting at the barn, but "we've" just purchased a wonderful saddle. Yes, it is perfect for "our" mare and it was a really good deal considering the fit and the quality of the saddle. I'll never need to buy another saddle as long as I live.

    *sigh* So far he knows I need to get a new saddle, I just haven't explained I already put a large down payment on it. This sounded bad enough in my head, yet it's looking worse in print. Any ideas? (humor always appreciated)

  • #2
    Originally posted by Sanely Eccentric View Post
    I'll never need to buy another saddle as long as I live.
    Do not, whatever you do, say the above. Alas, it is a fantasy and will come back and bit you in the patottie.

    Buying saddles is like falling in love when we were in high school. Each new love is exquisite and perfect and the Only One We Will Ever Need. Saddles - as much as we may love them today - eventually fade like old what's-his-name from Advanced Placement Chemistry.

    Promising to never need another one - well, reflect for a moment on "Paradise By the Dashboard Light." You might just end up praying for the end of time.
    Chronicles of the $700 Pony
    The Further Adventures of the $700 Pony
    www.blithetraveler.com <-- My Blog

    Comment


    • #3
      I was in the exact same situation!

      When I got home and told my husband he said "That's okay, I just bought a new set of golf clubs."

      Maybe you'll be surprised too.

      Good luck.

      Comment


      • #4
        When I got home and told my husband he said "That's okay, I just bought a new set of golf clubs."
        Humans don’t mind duress, in fact they thrive on it. What they mind is not feeling necessary. –Sebastian Junger

        Comment


        • #5
          Liquor helps!

          I think this is one of the reasons why we keep our accounts seperate, so that way we don't have to justify expenses. But, I would just say that this is apart of horse ownership, and you'll put back the money at a later date.
          Kelly
          It is rare to see a rider who is truly passionate about the horse and his training, taking a profound interest in dressage with self-abnegation, and making this extraordinarily subtle work one of the dominant motivations of his life.\"

          Comment


          • #6
            Ok, Im a queen at this, so listen close! When it comes to new horses and new tack, Ive got it all covered!

            1) You MUST have your own "fun money" account! So you can save up and buy what you need.

            2) If its asked "where did that saddle come from" just say your borrowing it or you traded it out

            3) If you do admit it, swear to sell all your other saddles on Ebay to make up for the cost

            4) If it gets ugly, throw the wild card of "Hey, would you walk around in shoes that dont fit!!? Dont expect him to ride well in a saddle that does not fit!" WE (always say WE!!) did not pay that much money for him to hurt his back!!"

            And for new horses - its easy!! Just keep them all the same color!! All my horses are primarly black or dark bay and he cant really tell them apart anymore!
            www.spindletopfarm.net
            Home of Puerto D'Azur - 1998 NA 100 Day Test Champion
            "Charcter is much easier kept than recovered"

            Comment


            • #7
              This is probably more info that you all want to know, but I just put on some nice lingerie and have a "special" night with him. Then I break the news to him while he's still in his blissful stupor....hee hee!!

              The last time I got a new saddle and told him it was the last one I'll ever need, he said "Yeah, right!".....(he's learned).

              Comment


              • #8
                Timing and sex are your friend...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Is there a reason you must tell him about the saddle in the first place?

                  I guess if he would know the money is missing.....but if he doesn't keep track of such things...does he really NEED to know?
                  *** 4 More Years ***
                  *** 4 More Years ***

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Why try to beat around the bush? Just go home and tell him that you bought a saddle today. Period. End of story. Why do you feel the need to weasel around about the telling?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I don't even think my fiance knows I have certain things. I've got so much of it, and he's not all that knowledgable in the horse-stuff (though he can critique a canter pirouette better than anyone I've seen! ).

                      I've already discussed with him... he knew before meeting me that I had horses, I've always have had horses, and I always will.

                      I had an ex-boyfriend point blank tell me "It's the horses or me." HE THOUGHT HE HAD TO ASK!?!?!?! that's why he's an ex (among other things).

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by STF View Post
                        Ok, Im a queen at this, so listen close! When it comes to new horses and new tack, Ive got it all covered!

                        1) You MUST have your own "fun money" account! So you can save up and buy what you need.

                        2) If its asked "where did that saddle come from" just say your borrowing it or you traded it out

                        3) If you do admit it, swear to sell all your other saddles on Ebay to make up for the cost

                        4) If it gets ugly, throw the wild card of "Hey, would you walk around in shoes that dont fit!!? Dont expect him to ride well in a saddle that does not fit!" WE (always say WE!!) did not pay that much money for him to hurt his back!!"


                        And for new horses - its easy!! Just keep them all the same color!! All my horses are primarly black or dark bay and he cant really tell them apart anymore!
                        I completely agree with STF's approach, except add the sex to keep him happy.
                        Jill
                        www.eurofoal.homestead.com
                        European bloodlines made in America

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I agree with the same color of horses and they can never tell, my husband can because he helps me out so much around the barn and he likes our horses, but my parents on the other hand, I have had one for 14 years and another for about two months and they can't tell the difference between the two! Your husband will forgive you they alaways usually seem to, deep down I think they all expect it when it comes to horsey women.

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            #14
                            Your responses are great! Thank you.

                            BTW, he already bought a set of custom golf clubs a few years ago, though you know, he didn’t tell me until he brought them home. I wonder if I have to tell him if I never bring the saddle home?

                            We do have separate (though still technically joint) accounts and I did get paid yesterday…isn’t timing everything?

                            STF – love your comment on keeping horses all the same color! Too funny!

                            The discussion of a “special night” with him has already been brought up right after the saddle purchase. Since men are men this always seems to work, but how many times can one use this?

                            Dalfan has brought up a good point as well…does he really need to know? Unfortunately I don’t know if I cannot tell him as what if he does that to me in the future? Not sure I’d be happy about that.

                            Angel – not trying to weasel, just feeling guilty about making the decision without consulting him about a spendy purchase and now how to deal with it. If I had called him I don’t know which way he would have voted, so I didn’t call. Bad wife. I know I have to tell him….perhaps after I list my other saddle on ebay along with whatever else I can find, though I’m still going to be short of the overall cost of the new saddle…but wow is it nice and does my mare move like magic in it!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              BTW, he already bought a set of custom golf clubs a few years ago, though you know, he didn’t tell me until he brought them home.
                              Well, there you go! I suppose you could just mention the purchase, just like he did with the clubs.

                              If you are the one running the checkbook (as I am ), it is very easy to, shall we say, disguise such purchases. I am fortunate, my hubby has no desire to take a look-see.
                              *** 4 More Years ***
                              *** 4 More Years ***

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                separate bank accounts, and a budget of how much money goes to the house and joint expenses, helps keep these things straight. i've seen too many women get divorced over horses.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by STF View Post
                                  Ok, Im a queen at this, so listen close! When it comes to new horses and new tack, Ive got it all covered!

                                  1) You MUST have your own "fun money" account! So you can save up and buy what you need.

                                  2) If its asked "where did that saddle come from" just say your borrowing it or you traded it out

                                  3) If you do admit it, swear to sell all your other saddles on Ebay to make up for the cost

                                  4) If it gets ugly, throw the wild card of "Hey, would you walk around in shoes that dont fit!!? Dont expect him to ride well in a saddle that does not fit!" WE (always say WE!!) did not pay that much money for him to hurt his back!!"

                                  And for new horses - its easy!! Just keep them all the same color!! All my horses are primarly black or dark bay and he cant really tell them apart anymore!
                                  OMG you are hilarious, but your advise is SO TRUE!!!! Too bad my second pony went from black to a white few spot palomino POA. Guess I goofed on that color thing..... But I swear if it were not for that, my BF would not know the difference.
                                  Proud to have two Takaupa Gold line POAs!
                                  Takaupas Top Gold
                                  Gifts Black Gold Knight

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    <<Since men are men this always seems to work. But how many times can one use this?>>

                                    You're kidding, right?

                                    The word "always" comes to mind.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      I really don't get many of these posts. Presumably you're a grown-up, yes? You have your own money and you're meeting your household financial responsibilities, yes? So just buy the damn saddle. Why does it have to be justified/hidden/softened/couched?

                                      The "Oopsie daddy's widdle girlie has been vewy baaaaaad" and "sammitch/bj" crap on here (and other threads) is bloody insane.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Well, hubby and I generally discuss large expenses before we write the check, but sometimes I forget to tell him, or assume that the very general discussion we had a month ago was him understanding that I'm doing something. If I were you, I would just tell him that you bought a new saddle because you need one. For the money we spend keeping horses and taking lessons, in the long run, the correct saddle saves money. Shipping dozens of used saddles to see if they fit goes through the saddle budget fast. Riding in a saddle that doesn't fit is more than just a waste of time, <at least with my horse> it's dangerous.

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