• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

What does it take

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • What does it take

    To realize you're with the wrong trainer or instructor?

    For me, it was the gradual realization that my new horse was not progressing at all. The same instructor who had helped me get relative success with my previous horse was NOT the right person to help me with New Horse. But it took me a while to realize it. A bucking fit and a bad fall during a lesson was my tipping point.

    What tipped the scales for you?

  • #2
    Oh God. LOL. Eventually, a train wreck starts to really look like a train wreck, LOL.

    I think the best way to do 'quality control' on your trainer is to go to dressage shows with well trained judges. Clinics with well established clinicians can also help. If the judge's and clinician's comments and methods are very different from what your trainer or instructor is doing(and if you've chosen a good judge or good clinician) you may be looking at making a change.

    The thing is...it just isn't always simple. The trainer that gets you to do 'more stuff', even if it's cooler 'stuff', isn't always the better one. The trainer that keeps you back doing simpler stuff isn't always the better one, OR the worse one. The trainer who you feel angry at after the lesson, or upset with...even he isn't always the bad one.

    The trainer you ADORE and think you can't do without....also may actually be a very bad choice. Your horse may be very inappropriate for you. Or your horse may have limitations that mean ANY trainer would have a tough time helping you. Those who you ask for help may be very biased, due to some personal conflict (or benefit) from the trainer. It's really so hard to know, especially when one has less experience.

    The toughest thing to learn, is that what we're trying to do is just difficult. There just is a certain avoidable amount of difficulty in learning a technical sport. Dressage is just not easy. Lessons - good ones - are usually at some point, frustrating, difficult.
    Last edited by slc2; Sep. 12, 2009, 02:02 PM.


    • Original Poster

      Thank you for answering the question I did not ask.

      Yes, I stubbornly stuck with a trainer who had done good work (or so I thought) with a previous horse. After he died, why change? Well, turns out, the trainer was not sufficiently experienced with young horses. I would have been better working on my own.

      Now, with a few more years of experience under my belt, and a coach with true ability, I do indeed get positive feedback from judges and clinicians. But back then, there were signals I either could not or would not recognize.

      It's OK to call me Queen of Denial -- it fit in those days.


      • #4
        Originally posted by Beasmom View Post
        To realize you're with the wrong trainer or instructor?
        For me, it was the gradual realization that my new horse was not progressing at all.
        What tipped the scales for you?
        About the same reason for me. I think if you have a competent horse and you are a dedicated rider with at least average talent, you should be progressing in a reasonable amount of time. Progressing doesn't necessarily mean moving up the levels, but you shouldn't continue to be struggling with the same issues with no resolution except to be told.......'do it again'.

        I think, as you said Beasmom, it is not necessarily that the instructor is not good, but rather it may not be the right instructor/trainer at the right time for that particular horse and rider. It imo is vital that a trainer have experience teaching what it is you are paying them to teach; i.e. young horse, FEI horse, green rider,....etc.

        I stayed with a couple trainers way too long because I wasn't wise enough to realize it wasn't working, even though my gut told me so. Probably even now, while I'm wiser, I could get stuck in a bad match situation again, but I think I would recognize it more quickly and get out.

        What 'tipped the scales'? Well, I think it's just a straw that breaks the camel's back kind of thing. You just get sick of leaving training sessions frustrated.


        • #5
          It is a delicate matter to be able to switch trainers without ruffling too many feathers. I have had many. Some I would love to work with again but geography is not in favour. Some I will work with again on particular issues with particular horses. I don't think I have ever had a bad trainer, but I outgrew them for different reasons.
          One because she was a good third level rider and I was schooling 4th at the time. One because he did not like my first horse, and the second horse did not like the trainer. Another because he doubled his rates and I had trouble with that. But in the end, if you are not feeling reasonably satisfied and like you've got somewhere after a workout with your trainer, you need to look at why. Change is a good thing as long as not too frequent. It gives you a different perspective.
          "The Threat of Internet Ignorance: ... we are witnessing the rise of an age of equestrian disinformation, one where a trusting public can graze on nonsense packaged to look like fact."-LRG-AF


          • #6
            You'll "know" when it's time. However, it does take some courage. I've seen a rider who took clinics with a top judge. The clinician all but told the rider her previous instruction wasn't correct. Now we get down to opinions but when the clinician rode the horse, the owner could see what the clinician said was working in ways she had only dreamed. Did she find a new instructor? No. She didn't have the courage to change and can not break out of the cycle of bad riding.

            I fired a trainer because of the way she treated another student who was a friend of mine and mistreated her horse. There was just too much drama and ego. Unfortunately, it's not always that black and white.

            Remember, don't let that drama and over inflated ego rob you of your passion.


            • #7
              I think when you begin to question your goals and wonder if they are being met by the current trainer, and you start asking yourself questions. Like you are.

              One thing I would find important would be what you observed - is the horse progressing [the way I want him to] with the current trainer. A year should produce some nice results. I am amazed, for example, with the change in my school horse under my trainer's riding over this past year. He's been scoring 75% at his rated shows this summer, in Training 1&2 and will continue showing training in 3 and 4 and maybe a level 1 class next year. The horse uses his back, he swings, he responds to lateral aids by moving off correctly, listening, waiting to be asked for something interesting. Very impressed. A year ago, his head was up and his back was hollow, and he seemed to be waiting for somone to ask him for something bad. (new horse in the stable). A happy, working, strong-backed, strong legged horse, now. I would be willing to keep such a horse with such progress with the trainer another year, were he mine.

              I would evaluate a trainer year by year, myself, unless the trainer showed up doing things I just objected to, like shorting me on the rides he gave, using unapproved equipment, like a bit I didn't agree with or which was illegal in his discipline. But I feel like all trainers are just that - good for something. Their time may come when the horse is ready to move on to something else, someone else, or someone else can bring them along in this next thing I want him to improve on. That's all, its not breaking up with a boyfriend and its not a life time commitment, its hiring the right person for the right job, so use your instincts and use your brain to decide where and under whom the horse belongs, today.
              Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.


              • #8
                I think this is a good thread and food for thought for those who may be seriously questioning whether or not they should quit riding. I know that wasn't the original intent of your post necessarily, Beasmom, but this can be a serious problem for riders. I only choose to comment on this because I am aware of an adult amateur right now in my area that is considering giving up riding because she feels like a failure. But everyone else on the outside looking in at her realizes she would be so much happier if she just could get away from the training barn she is in.

                I have had a student or two come to me when they decided to leave their instructor/trainer as a "last ditch effort" just before they nearly sold their horse or gave up riding completely. I'm pretty sure they felt their riding would never improve and that the horse they had was the problem, but before quitting, someone sent them my way. It was nearly IMPOSSIBLE for them to leave their former trainer because of the emotional and psychological issues involved, even though their riding was bringing them absolutely NO pleasure. They nearly sold their horses and quit, but someone wisely advised them to try another instructor and just make sure that it was the instruction/training they were in and NOT that they simply SUCKED or that their horses were "bad" in some way.

                PLEASE, for all of you who are stuck in this scenario, I know it is hard to break away from someone and risk hurting them in some way...but wouldn't it be worse to never try another path before ending your journey?


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Beasmom View Post
                  To realize you're with the wrong trainer or instructor? <snip>

                  What tipped the scales for you?
                  well to answer the first question: guts. you have to be strong to admit you were wrong. this is tough.

                  as for the 2nd: finally admitting that it wasn't working anymore - and the horse speaking loud and clear that things were not good.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by slc2 View Post
                    The toughest thing to learn, is that what we're trying to do is just difficult. There just is a certain avoidable amount of difficulty in learning a technical sport. Dressage is just not easy. Lessons - good ones - are usually at some point, frustrating, difficult.

                    Thank you for that. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who struggles!


                    • Original Poster

                      Very good post, PennyRidge! Yes, I was at that point with my previous trainer. Riding wasn't fun anymore, I wasn't getting anywhere, horse & I were bored, and the big fall shook my confidence. I wanted to quit, but horses have been a life long passion. So, while I wanted to hang it up, I couldn't imagine life without horses.

                      So I tried another instructor. Things started getting better, and she has been instrumental in rebuilding my confidence and improving my riding skills. I found another, better horse, and life is good again.

                      If you recognize yourself in this thread, frustrated, bored, frightened, intimidated, have any inkling that something is NQR with your trainer/instructor, don't be afraid to shop around. Trainers don't own us. We don't own them. I've even told my own students this. I don't ever want them to feel afraid to make a change if they feel it's in their best interest. Flip side, I've told a few folks that I don't think I'm the teacher for them.

                      Robyn, this is a difficult, technical sport. When I took up golf (briefly) the BO asked me why on earth I would take up the SECOND most frustrating sport in the world. Dressage, of course, being the FIRST most difficult! We all struggle. This is hard! However, when every. single. lesson. is unrelentingly frustrating, with no discernable progress made, that's the time to either have a sit-down with the instructor or see if there's a better match out there for you and your horse.

                      Life's too short, and even more so for our equine partners.
                      Last edited by ThreeFigs; Sep. 12, 2009, 08:47 PM. Reason: addition


                      • #12
                        I am going through this right now. The trainer I chose was excellent for the task I presented her with: take a hot horse with some very incorrect training and essentially retrain her, and help me get over my fear of riding her. Those goals have been accomplished very well. It helped, actually, that I was badly injured in a fall from a different horse right after I put my horse in training, and was unable to ride my horse at all for 2 months (and it was about 5 or 6 months before I could handle a full 45 minute lesson.)

                        Over the past few months I've realized that she's a very good trainer of horses, but not necessarily the best choice for someone just starting out. I've developed a few bad habits, most notably too much "hand riding." (And I can say that the more advanced students do *not* "hand ride.") OTOH she took me on when I was at my lowest, and I now feel very safe and confident on my horse, who can still be hot and silly and always has an opinion, but is turning out to be a great choice for me after all. (I went from being basically afraid to ride her without someone walking beside us, to taking her out on the road on my own... oh yeah, and coping with her being at her spooky "best" at a Linda Zang clinic...)

                        I have many other reasons moving on - most importantly getting the horse much closer to where I live (I have been putting over 1000 miles per month on my car just getting to the barn 4 days per week), and getting good trails access. Money has also become an issue. I am also at a point where I need to catch up with my horse, who's now schooling First and Second levels, and that is best gotten from a trainer who will focus on correcting me. I will be out of full training but still getting lessons from the new place's trainer(s), who work more with newbies, and probably my current trainer as well.

                        The current trainer has been very understanding; I think she knows I need something she is not the best at providing right now, and she definitely wants me back when I am ready for her again.
                        Last edited by quietann; Sep. 12, 2009, 11:03 PM.
                        You have to have experiences to gain experience.

                        1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"


                        • Original Poster

                          Quietann, sounds like you have excellent reasons for moving that have little to do with the trainer herself. It also sounds like she understands why you need to move on, but she'd be happy to have you back in the future. The best of all possible worlds!

                          Few instructor/trainers are equally good with their horse AND human clients. The ones who can teach AND train have a special gift.


                          • #14
                            urm- a good intructor is one that can listen to the horse and to the rider
                            the art of instructing is to improve both horse and rider

                            a good instructor - is caperble of assessing the rider skills be it from a noivce to imtermidate to advanced

                            a good instructor is one that - encourages the rider - not battle with rider nor horse

                            a good instructor --- is one with proven background from eperiences or fully qualified
                            or is an accredited trianer instructor not one from hearsay


                            • Original Poster


                              But GLS, wouldn't you also agree that some instructors are better than others at certain things? For instance, some excel at teaching children. Others excel at fixing problem horses. Another, while equally skilled in dressage or jumping, might favor one thing over the other.

                              Not all instructors, even those with certification, have equally good people skills. Some people are naturally charming and personable. Others are gruff or authoritarian. Not every instructor is right for every student, and vice-versa.


                              • #16
                                i dont think there is anything wrong with switching trainers... but. some people switch with the changing of the seasons and that isnt good either.

                                i think that once you find a trainer that works for you, you work with them until it doesn't work anymore. but i feel that we have to be honest and ask why it isnt working any more.

                                for me it has been that i just didn't understand the trainer when at one time i did. this might be that i "outgrew" them, or maybe i changed enough that i longer was able to learn form them. <shrug>

                                to me the most important thing is to listen to the horse. if the horse is progressing and is happy then i would stay. if the horse is not happy and is not progressing then i would start to question.

                                and if i were going to give up riding or breed my horse and put her in a field i would know something was horribly wrong and try to figure out what.

                                i think ToN said it best.

                                for me, i just want to learn and progress my horse in a horse friendly way. i am happy with any trainer that can teach me the correct way to train... they can be loud, quiet, unsocial, social, etc etc and i don't care. as long as they have what i want to learn and are willing to put up with me trying to soak up knowledge like a sponge, then i am good to go

                                but, it is very hard to make this kind of decision. at least for me it is. especially if i have been with someone a while..... somehow i feel like i am betraying someone.... not rational i know... just how it feels.....


                                • #17
                                  I've always wondered at people who start with one trainer and stick with that one trainer forever.
                                  There are *very* few trainers out there who can take a green rider from green to constantly advancing and improving forever. We grow out of trainers if the trainer we have is doing their jobs right. And a good trainer moves a student or horse along when they've hit their plateau of expertise.
                                  For example...in dressage I don't think many top level trainers can relate the best or most effective way to an intro level rider or horse. And the ones who excel with the newbies don't usually do very well with students or horses when they hit a certain level.
                                  Some trainers are great at explaining concepts to riders and can't train horses very well. And vice versa.
                                  Some will have styles or personalities that don't jive well with certain equine personalities.
                                  Moving trainers more often than once every ten years isn't unusual and shouldn't be weird. Because if a trainer can't teach you all they're able to in ten years...there's something wrong with the trainer. (or the student isn't very bright at all)
                                  You jump in the saddle,
                                  Hold onto the bridle!
                                  Jump in the line!


                                  • #18
                                    How do you know? When you're stalled out completely and can't seem to grasp the topic/subject. Then you go to a clinic or watch other instructors teach and see if anything they say makes more sense to you. Otherwise, it could also be you just having a problem with one thing and not everything with that instructor.

                                    I would strongly disagree with a show being the best way to judge an instructors ability to teach you--if you're a beginner/low level rider. You need to look at videos to see how you are riding normally, over quite a few days on your own and many lessons. The show ring often makes good riders at home look terrible in front of the judge. Also, only one or two videos of a lesson can also be bad because many people get nervous there as well and fall apart because they ride for the camera and not their instructor--or they're just having a bad day.

                                    That's my 2 cents worth. Once you find the person that you really click with and normally things go great, don't be too quick to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Then again, when you work on something FOREVER and feel you still don't understand it (months of trying), then you move on.

                                    Always remember, it's sometimes the instructor, and sometimes it's the student and/or the horse. There are so many pieces of the puzzle that unless you really know much about dressage, you should get the opinion of someone else you trust and who knows a bit about dressage.

                                    But with all that said, the original poster seems to have some more experience with her past horse and realized it was a style issue in training the horse. So good call on that one. If you know more and are a bit more advanced in your knowledge and skills, jump ship and find someone who understands your horse (age, breed, abilities or lack thereof).
                                    "And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling." - Capt Reynolds "Firefly"


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by Beasmom View Post

                                      But GLS, wouldn't you also agree that some instructors are better than others at certain things? For instance, some excel at teaching children. Others excel at fixing problem horses. Another, while equally skilled in dressage or jumping, might favor one thing over the other.

                                      thats why i said listening skills not al trianers have that and not all people in any kind of industry has that
                                      listening to what your clients needs are important if you want to sell yourself as a trianer
                                      then you must be able to listen and if you want to sell your self as a trianer in what ever field then you must be able to comply to all parts of that teacher trianer
                                      for exsample any one that cant inform the client or demonstrate what they are teaching
                                      arnt worth alight a lot of people come on here with problems with the horse with there bo and trianers of the barn and the simplest of foundational flat work isnt being tuaght
                                      ie the half halt stride which is a a freind of a pace to the rider and the horse the same as the trot is its a pace which is the most common of paces used in all displines right across the baord yet none know how to teach it nor to perform it

                                      Not all instructors, even those with certification, have equally good people skills. Some people are naturally charming and personable. Others are gruff or authoritarian. Not every instructor is right for every student, and vice-versa.
                                      people skills 1st is to listen - but then thats a two communication if the rider isnt listening to the instructor then one might not get as far as they would like
                                      the 2nd part to people skills is people tend to forget that there 3 personalities in that one lesson with one rider more if in a group

                                      theres you - the horse - and the instructor

                                      another thing is how big is the group of people in a gruop lesson it should be a maxium of four people so you can give each an equal share off ones time

                                      and in that as i have seen evidence on here how is each group being taught
                                      lots of people in small groups in the same big areana being tuaght at any one time
                                      the voice of the instructor or hearing of the rider might be mis commnication as not being heard so ther fore the instruction given isnt and wont be 100% on either party
                                      so the rider might get pissed of but so might the instructor
                                      thats a fault that can be rectified by not teaching loads of people all at once with lots of trianers all at once

                                      there are many reasons why people get anti at each other plus it can be a persoanlity clash in that sernerio you best off out of it and look for another trianer

                                      the point is you have to ask yourself what are your goals or aims for this year or
                                      how high or indepth do you personally want to go
                                      or how far has the horse training gone and can it get better or worse

                                      some people send there horses off 30 days trianing and yet have problems when they come back - and when they come back they have trianers in there yard but the trianer is limited
                                      in the knowledge of how to get the horse to do xyz when its just been broken
                                      thats lack of knowledge of the trianer

                                      or a trianer in there lack of knoweldge truses up a horse like its in bondage
                                      hoping for an outcome of better behaviour which not only brings pain but doesnt do anything
                                      for the horse except make him pissed off more which in truth could then put the rider in potential danger as being thrown

                                      if a trianer cannot answer you or give you sound adice and instruction for improvement and encourage you and your horse ----- then you move on to another that can

                                      also remeber that changing trianer is variety of work so the horse and you can be given new ideas
                                      vareity is the spice of life helps keep the horse and you more focused
                                      sometimes people need it told a diffrent way for it to sink in, or shown even tho you might be learning the same thing-

                                      i have one main bnt trianer then i have also have a couple of bnt others none are tied to my barn or yard i also go for lesson with a other people that are recongised jump judges of the bsja

                                      why its knowledge - there for me to learn and improve myself in my own limitations

                                      and your own limitations are key of what you want to do or be and then you use a trianer or instructor to help you acheive them once achieve if they cant improve you to the next set of gaols or aims you change it -


                                      • Original Poster

                                        Well said, GLS.