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I'm doubting my choices lately... vent and would love advice

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  • I'm doubting my choices lately... vent and would love advice

    I apologize for the length. I'm hoping in my vent the answer will present itself.

    I was bucked off my gelding today. What upsets me is two-fold: Now that he's managed to get me off, its 'game on' as he is/was a career bucker with his former owner and managed to dislodge every rider... every ride... except me.... until today. And two, he had finally gotten better about it, and I was feeling as if we were over the hump so to speak (the thought of bucking all but gone) but the advice I'd been taking lately had been bringing his bucking back to the surface, and today he just exploded.

    The back story is that I've had him for 2.5 yrs, he's 11. He was completely and utterly ruined by the former owners, in every way you can possibly imagine. In addition to his bucking, rearing, flipping, spooking, bolting, he is a true balker.

    It took me a long time to discover the key to getting him willing to work, and the key was quiet yet determined patience. Aggression causes him to shut down. More aggression causes him to defend himself. Whips caused him to become unglued.

    2.5 yrs later, he's a pleasure on the ground, forward and excitable but manageable on the trail, and in the ring he's mostly agreeable, but very behind my leg. Quick to balk, easy to work through, but impulsion is lacking so much I don't even bother asking for canter as it results in a bucking tantrum. I break up his work often (every 20 min) with hacks out on the trail to keep him forward and pleasant. I pick up canters only when he is forward and willing out on the trails.

    This history has resulted in my tending to avoid confrontation. I try to keep things pleasant, and not get after him. Mainly because its the only thing thats worked, but also conveniently because I have become fearful of his past outbursts. I have inadvertently become a weenie.

    I recently introduced the whip to our work. Used sparingly, it was effective without him being overly defensive. But it was always a fine line. We were starting to go places, albeit very slowly.

    In the last few weeks, I've started with a trainer. Her background is xc, but she's got the basics down very solidly. She has a take no crap attitude, so when I mentioned we don't canter and why, she immediately suggested we get him over this. At her advice, I applied the whip repeatedly and sat the bucking until he broke to canter. We've been keeping this up, treating him as if he's a spoiled naughty lazy pony, and whipping him through. Though he's increasingly more willing to canter on when we break to it finally, the bucking has steadily intensified.

    It has advanced to the point where he is resentful of the whip, and now my leg (again). Resentful of any driving aids. He has become obsessed with the whip and is in a constant state of anticipation of my asking him to canter (battle). This is ancient history happening all over again. So today, just schooling w/t and working on getting him ahead of my leg (he was doing VERY well), doing some actually really nice long and low, he finally decided he couldn't take the suspense any longer, got his head down between his knees, tore off bucking, slipped in deep wet footing, and off I came (I was doing well for a while too).

    So here is my dilemma. How do I progress from here?

    Do I start all over, tone things back down, etc? Avoid battles using tact instead, and deal with the slow progression? Get his faith back, and quit using the whip as an 'or else' weapon? Or attack full on with the help of the trainer, keep up the whipping until he's broke of the idea and keep doing what I can to ride it out? Accepting the reality that bucking will now, and probably for a while, permeate all riding, as it once did.

    Part of me wants to be aggressive and is recognizing the enabling weenie I've become. My gut however is telling me this aggression has gone too far, and will just be counter productive long term (he'll always harbor resentment, and won't be a horse I can rely on). A little voice way down deep inside is saying "he's crap, throw in the towel and get something that doesn't scare you half to death".

    His teeth are well attended to, his diet is appropriate for his IR needs, ulcers were present and attended to, his lifestyle is appropriate for him, his saddle is a reasonably wonderful fit. I've had a chiro (found nothing), vet several times (found nothing), acupuncture (did nothing).

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, to anyone who is willing to read and offer advice. Between my paddocks being under water, my hay molding before my eyes, my tack turning a different shade of green every day, manure wars, todays event has gotten me feeling rock bottom.

    btw, does anyone know if alcohol is bad for a possible concussion? I did whack my head pretty good but never loss consciousness and want a frosty one in the worst way
    Being terrible at something is the first step to being truly great at it. Struggle is the evidence of progress.

  • #2
    Trust your gut, you've gotten farther with this horse than anyone. Trainers only see what's in front of them, not the past, not what appears to be gone, and that can sometimes be a good thing, but in this case, I think it's not.

    I would tone it back down and just give him sometime to build that trust back up, you had it before, it won't take long to get it back. My gelding is 6 and I've owned him since he was born, and I can't even ride him with a dressage whip and he was never mistreated, he just gets very upset about them and to me it's not about battling him, it's about being his partner, when I school, I use a short crop (which is okay) showing, no whip at all.

    Good luck, and don't be too hard on yourself, it's always one step forward and two steps back with horses, but stick with him and I think you'll be okay

    Comment


    • #3
      if you think you have a concussion, please go see a doctor.

      one of life's great joys is going for a canter in the countryside (or anywhere else).

      I am glad you weren't hurt.

      this sounds like a bad match.

      there are too many nice horses to be wrongly mounted.

      just my 2 cents.
      A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame or money, but even practices it without any hope of doing it well.--G. K. Chesterton

      Comment


      • #4
        Oh my...

        Sorry to hear things are going not-so-well for you and your gelding. Honestly, if I were you I would find myself another horse. You sound like you've done alot for this gelding and put a fair amount of time and money into him already....thus given him/yourself a fair chance. You only live once and the last thing you need is to become scared of riding altogether and/or to get seriously hurt. It's not worth it. I know I will have others disagree with me, but he's already 11 (I know that's not old, but it's not young either) and I would not be too keen on continuing on at this point. The only other option is to send him to a trainer (one that knows his issues) to get him through this....that is, IF he can get though this.

        Anyhow, that's just my honest view on things....sorry

        Comment


        • #5
          I guess my question would be not what can you do to work through this, but why would you want to? There are thousands of horses out there who will not put your safety at risk just to do a (sorry!) stupid walk, trot, canter. Or do you love the challenge? I'm not that kind of rider - I like to work on things, but not struggle. Some people like that. That's cool if it's working for you.

          But have you thought that part through? What are you getting out of this? If it is making you feel satisfied and happy, then go for it. But it's completely possible this horse just has an innately cantankerous temperament, or whatever you want to call it. I don't think it's about his previous treatment - I've seen many, many horses with "bad histories" that move on and blossom and don't need half the struggle and compromise you seem to have gone through. And I've seen some with lovely, kind owners all their lives that are bad tempered, stubborn, annoying, hard to work with etc. Heck, yearlings with bad attitudes show up once in a while! Not common, but I'm sure it can be just an inborn characteristic of temperament.

          I think you need to pick your battles - do you want to compete or progress in eventing, for example? Then get yourself a horse that can take you there so you can have fun and be safe. If you want to work on training a difficult horse, then keep working on this guy.

          I rarely offer such a strong opinion on this sort of thing, but I've seen *several* dear friends hurt in situations like this, trying to turn incompatible horses into something they can't be, and ending up with broken bones and lost confidence, when what they really wanted was to trail ride or go to some schooling shows and have fun riding with their friends. Wrong horse for that person, and they were too stubborn or proud to give it up and get something more suitable. And these were good riders who could stick a horse, but they got in over their heads with a horse that just wasn't right for what they wanted to do.

          Good luck. Maybe others will have some better suggestions!

          Comment


          • #6
            I agree with redears. You know him best and you were making progress. The only thing you may have to accept is that he will never be much of a dressage horse. If you can have fun with him and accept him for what he is, then you will be fine. If you insist that he be a dressage horse and always in front of your leg (right this very second, no matter what), you are probably doomed to failure because of his history.

            I have a tricky horse (not as bad as this, but still tricky). It has been very difficult to ride her with instructors and clinicians. She requires lots of finessing and they are about getting it done. Cried a lot of tears and finally have an uncomplicated horse for most things and ride her on my own most of the time or in very controlled circumstances and let her be her.

            Good luck. I know it is hard.

            Dressagerose

            Comment


            • #7
              Some horses are willing to work harder to not work, then you would ever have asked them to work in the first place.

              It's called low rideability, amongst other things.

              I'd call it a day. What is the point, really? Maybe it is something physical.. if it is, you probably won't find it. Maybe it's baggage. If so, you've done your best to overcome it. Maybe it's just who he is. Once again, you'll never overcome that.

              Life is too short for this.
              "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
              ---
              The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.

              Comment


              • #8
                If you want to continue working with this horse, my suggestion would be to go back to groundwork in the roundpen. With saddle and side-reins attached, make him go forward at the canter. Use the whip if you need to and get him to accept that he must go forward. Once he is cantering, keep him cantering - for at least 5 minutes, let him rest briefly, and start it up again. He will probably argue with you, so have your trainer available to help. I suspect it will take you several months or more to accomplish this.

                This exercise will also tell you if he is genuinely afraid of the whip, or just trying to avoid work. If he is genuinely afraid, then carefully get him used to the longe whip in the roundpen.

                Once he is agreeable to cantering on the ground, then it might be possible to go back to trying it out again with a rider. But make sure he has been properly longed first, and longe before every ride. The ground work should not hurt your horse, and will likely improve him. You know your horse best, and I think you will be able to tell when the right time will be to try again from the saddle.

                Good Luck!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  I feel like I could've written your post myself last fall.

                  There is a very subtle difference between choosing your battles and avoiding battles altogether. The latter is tip toeing around and does nothing for you as far as progressing nor does it really help the horse "get over it". The former is wise when you have a reactive horse. IMHO, of course.

                  I remember quite vividly being in a lesson with my good friend who had leased this particular mare from me and experienced a total meltdown. She was on her gelding, me on my mare, and the trainer was helping me work on a new skill--new to me and the horse. The horse was becoming frustrated and felt like she was about to explode. I was trying to mitigate some risk so instead of doing as instructed in that moment, I kind of eased off.

                  Of course this resulted in trainer barking at me and asking why I didn't do X, to which I replied, "She's about ready to blow. She's really getting frustrated."

                  The trainer said something to the effect of, "She's fine. She looks just fine."

                  My friend, the more advanced rider who had experience with the mare, saved me, "If she says the mare is about to blow, she's probably right. You won't get it unless you get on."

                  Well, trainer didn't ride, so that didn't happen. And she insisted that it would be fine. It wasn't. Mare lost it. That was a major set back to our training. From then on for several weeks, it was if we'd regressed back to day one with the behavior. I had pushed too far. She was confused about what I was asking, got frustrated, and acted out. Not okay, but definitely a known response. That was on me.

                  Fast forward to this spring...having been out of work over the winter, I was bringing her back. It went well at first in our WT work. But when I asked for the canter, I'd start getting the kick out and if I pushed on, a little bucking/crowhopping garbage, ending with a full brakes and a rear. THAT was not frustration. THAT was "I don't WANNA work!"

                  At that point, I had a choice. Choice 1 was to address this from the saddle where I potentially could get dumped or flipped over on. Choice 2 was to make her wish I WERE in the saddle because that was a heck of a lot easier than what I was going to make her do (safely) from the ground.

                  We had a serious CTJ meeting and I played Jesus. I jumped off (not something I had EVER done before because it is contrary to everything I've ever been taught) and put the longe line on and I got big and scary for a second...then we worked. HARD. For the next few days, I worked her only from the ground. If she gave ANY hesitation when I was asking for forward, I really got after her. (did not beat her...raising my voice or getting growly was more than sufficient) I made her work VERY hard on the ground.

                  4 days into this, I got back on. Guess what? Perfect freaking angel. Back to where we started. I won that one.

                  I don't know if you can ever totally get rid of their default reactions...once it's in their bag of tricks, it's there. BUT, I think you CAN choose your battles by knowing the difference between "oh crap, yeah, I screwed up. I'm sorry I freaked you out. let's slow down" and "no really, I'm not doing anything to you here that warrants this, man up already".

                  If I were in your shoes right now, I'd take a break from the lessons, get back to basics a bit--things you KNOW he can do quietly and well. THEN if he reacts poorly, you can make him wish he hadn't. Then ease into the other stuff a little more slowly.

                  I think he has your number a bit with this cantering thing. If you've ruled out other issues like pain and it's just a matter of "I don't wanna" then I think you'd be better off getting on the ground with him and making him WISH you were in the saddle cuz it's so. much. easier.

                  I don't think you need to whip the snot out of him and ride through potentially injuring yourself...but I think that you need to make sure he's doing great canter transitions on the ground before doing it again in the saddle. Make him trot, canter, trot, canter, trot, canter. Make him WORK. And then when you get back on, ask for just a little.

                  My two cents. But I'm not a trainer and I have one like yours at home that is NOT totally over it. I think there will always be a very fine line for us.
                  A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                  Might be a reason, never an excuse...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Gosh, deciding to sell a horse for a non-pro starts to look like those check lists people do when they are contemplating divorce. :-(

                    1) What are your goals? Can you achieve them with this horse, given his personality?

                    2) Have you had a thorough vet exam? Pain causes a lot of nappy, balky behavior. Kissing spine is an elusive one which can result in explosions.

                    3) Tack fit?

                    4) Get a calendar. Mark on it the really good days where you get off grinning, the neutral days where you are fine and dandy but not happy happy joy joy after your ride, and the number of negative days, where interacting with your horse has bummed you out to some extent, whether because you didn't do something you wanted, you felt unsafe, whatever. Have a look at how those days balance out over time--it this the way you want it to be? How likely is it you will change that? Tracking stuff like this over time can really help you get past a bad bad day here or there, or even a good good day here or there to see what you really have.

                    Obviously, you don't feel safe to do fairly normal horse activities with this fellow, like canter for instance. And by avoiding confrontation, what you've created is a certain degree of compliance, but NOT acceptance of you as the leader. I think that puts you in a dangerous place every time you ride, because the horse will always look to his own plan instead of following your plan when the chips are down. This is how we can get dead in an emergency situation, IMHO.

                    I guess what to do circles back to you and your goals. Are you meeting them? If not, how badly are you off? Do you mind changing your personal hopes or expectations for the rest of this relatively young horse's riding career with you to accommodate the fact that he is the leader here, not you?

                    Now, if you really want to solve it, I would put a canter on him on the ground by pressuring him as much as it took from my own two feet, best in a well built round pen. And be careful, because I know more than one very lazy, willful horse who charged the trainer when really pressured to work. Another thing would be to look for a very good cowboy type trainer who won't back down (I know one in Maryland who is great--no whips, does ride in a spur, all horses in snaffles. He is the last stop before the meat man for a lot of horses).

                    Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.
                    Eileen
                    http://themaresnest.us

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Life's too short......

                      Ditto what pretty much everyone is saying. I think you need another horse.

                      Look, as someone who was one-horse kinda gal for years, got my first horse after years of daydreaming about it, I had sworn up and down I would never sell her, that I would do right by her til the end and that she would live out her days with me. But I outgrew her, bred her, and she produced two lovely babies for me in the past 5 years. I rode her a bit in between, but.. she really loved attention, and I couldn't devote much to her with having eager young horses to work with. Not saying she was miserable, but when the right situation presented itself, I sold her. To a good friend. And now she is someone's Number 1 horse again, and she is fit (at 14), happy, shiny and being loved on. The decision was only made difficult for my own selfish reasons. She is perfectly happy with someone else.

                      Your gelding sounds inherently lazy, and doesn't like to work hard. Find him a home where he can take people on occasional trail rides, be a therapeutic leadline mount, a companion to recently-weaned babies, etc etc... if he's not mean on the ground (biter, kicker, etc), and is relatively pleasant, you can find him a home where he'll be happy. Don't stubbornly cling to the idea of keeping him just because you feel responsible, ok? Some horses just have no work ethic, period. Some people are in even worse situations than you and end up with horses that are downright nasty and dangerous to handle (in that case, my ever-controversial advice is to put them down).

                      There are hordes of sound, loving, gentle, RELIABLE horses out there desperate for caring homes like the one they would have with you. There are even (like one previous poster pointed out) horses who have come from abusive/neglectful homes that are still willing to trust and try their hearts out for a caring owner.

                      Food for thought - a lot of people assume that when a horse came from a bad situation, and was maybe trained/treated harshly, that that treatment is what caused the horse to be fearful/nasty/unreliable/nappy.... sometimes the horse was always like that, and that's why the previous owners resorted to whips/spurs/yelling/smacking, etc .... While I'm not condoning that, I'm just saying... don't always assume that the horse was once a loving, trustworthy animal with a fab work ethic, and that you can "rehab" it with love and patience. It may have *always* been a lazy+nappy thing, since birth - you have no way of knowing.
                      www.jlsporthorsesales.net

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ohhh I'm so sorry.... I don't think I am qualified to give you any advices because I don't have experiences with difficult horses of this degree. However, here is what I feel and think that might prove useful...

                        1. Others have suggested that you find another horse.. I have to agree... If I were you, I would find one that I can enjoy on... Its no fun riding a scary horse.

                        But since you are asking these questions here, I assume you are in love with him, and want to keep him, nothing wrong with that, so ...

                        2. I think you are right as to that whipping has gone overboard and he is resentful. One big tap can get you respect from the horse but whipping is another story. So I will definitely not go that route again.

                        3. Find someone who is really really good at reading horses and helping horses/riders to get through sticky spots. Eddo Hoekstra has helped me to get left lead canter out of my horse, without any whipping, just various simply mounted exercises. A little bit background, this horse is a gentle horse but he plain refused to take left lead canter, or canter at all. Once I resorted to whipping and I got instant bucking instead. Imagine my shock.. This horse has no meanness in him...

                        I took him to Eddo's clinic where we were asked to do a lot of very very simple exercises, all in walk and trot, then all the sudden he asked me to squeeze with my left leg, and, bam, to my utter shock, my horse took the left lead canter instantly!!! I almost weeped (how embarassing). During the whole exercise, there was not whipping or any rough aids, only light tap behind my legs here and there. That was a year ago when I started to go to him. Now the canter problem is way behind us.

                        Please find someone who is really really good to help you, someone who will attack a problem from many different angles, someone who can see the root of the problem not just the symptom of the problems. You see, refusing to take canter is the sympton no the cause....

                        Good luck.
                        Last edited by Gloria; Aug. 14, 2009, 03:55 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ASBJumper View Post
                          Food for thought - a lot of people assume that when a horse came from a bad situation, and was maybe trained/treated harshly, that that treatment is what caused the horse to be fearful/nasty/unreliable/nappy.... sometimes the horse was always like that, and that's why the previous owners resorted to whips/spurs/yelling/smacking, etc .... While I'm not condoning that, I'm just saying... don't always assume that the horse was once a loving, trustworthy animal with a fab work ethic, and that you can "rehab" it with love and patience. It may have *always* been a lazy+nappy thing, since birth - you have no way of knowing.
                          Also very true, I think.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            The "sell the horse" route gets pretty complicated when you have one like this.

                            A) there's the liability--you KNOW that the horse has a propensity to blow. That's typically not what people are looking for as buyers.

                            B) there's the horse--when you've seen a horse go through person after person and have all sorts of issues, there's sometimes a piece of you that says, "if not me, then who?" When I was seriously re evaluating my mare last year, I can honestly say that I would've sooner put her down than risk her ending up in an abusive situation again.

                            C) there's the challenge/black stallion fantasy crap. Deep down inside, you really want to be the one to figure the horse out and make it work. When it goes well, it's a cool feeling. You did it. Flip side black stallion syndrome. If anyone keeps a nutty horse around, you can bet that consciously or not, they really WANT to be the one to finally succeed with the horse and there is some fantasy land stuff going on there.
                            A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                            Might be a reason, never an excuse...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              One more idea

                              I know you've done the vet stuff, so bear with me. Knew a horse that was very similar to what's described. Felt it HAD to be some physical issue, even though no lame steps, saddlefit double checked, teeth done, etc. Horse vetted clean with flying colors (x-rays, the whole she-bang). Vet said horse knows your number, it's ok to push.

                              Decided to try one more thing. Bute/ulcergard for two days (night before, then morning, then rode that evening).

                              Horse was an angel.

                              Get your head checked out. Too many news stories about people who thought they were ok, right before they crashed. :-(

                              Seriously, for those saying sell, to who? How would that be ethical to the buyer (because I doubt anyone would buy a horse with these issues) or fair to the horse?
                              DIY Journey of Remodeling the Farmette: http://weownblackacre.blogspot.com/

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                              • #16
                                Originally posted by ASBJumper View Post
                                Food for thought - a lot of people assume that when a horse came from a bad situation, and was maybe trained/treated harshly, that that treatment is what caused the horse to be fearful/nasty/unreliable/nappy.... sometimes the horse was always like that, and that's why the previous owners resorted to whips/spurs/yelling/smacking, etc .... While I'm not condoning that, I'm just saying... don't always assume that the horse was once a loving, trustworthy animal with a fab work ethic, and that you can "rehab" it with love and patience. It may have *always* been a lazy+nappy thing, since birth - you have no way of knowing.
                                They do come with their own minds and attitudes! I've bred four so far and have really enjoyed bringing them on, but they sure are their own selves right from the get-go. My colt was born with a lazy streak a mile wide and a big fat Make Me sign on his butt. I know he was never beaten about, treated harshly, etc to get him like that, he just came that way. When he was a foal he used to bite and kick his mother and she did not correct him (see what permissive parenting does for you??). I started him slowly and carefully with lots of ground work and a gentle, firm approach with the help of a very good pro after I put the first six weeks on him as a three year old and then laid him off for the winter. He never would work harder than X, and once his quarter ran out he was a monster (being over 17 hands didn't help with this). I free leased him to a lesson barn where he was great with the kids because they didn't really make him work--put someone with serious goals on him who asked him to really *do* something and he would buck and rear.

                                He went on to be a wheel horse, and was good at that, but would not drive alone. An injury ended the driver's career for four in hands and my guy obseleted himself with his attitude, so he moved on to do trails for someone. He always liked that and did well in that job.

                                Two of my other three are under saddle (the third just hit 10 weeks). #2, half sister to the colt, is the most agreeable packer the world has known. #3 is a real pistol, but getting easier by the day.

                                So there is my long winded example of how three youngsters raised in a similar environment can be three very different sorts, one of which was nappy with no work ethic.
                                Eileen
                                http://themaresnest.us

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                                • #17
                                  I read your post thinking, "why is she riding this horse?" sorry, but he does not sound like fun! Too dangerous. Life is too short to ride a horse like that.

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                                  • #18
                                    I never said sell. I said "find him another home". Big difference. No, there aren't many people who would pay money for a horse like this - but take him for free? If what the OP has stated is all true, then heck yes. He seems pleasant enough to handle, quiet enough at walk and trot, albeit a bit lazy, and game on the trails. That would suit plenty of purposes, and heck, maybe he'd even make a nice driving horse! I have recently seen a couple of ads looking for herd babysitters that could do an occasional leisurely trail ride as well. Sounds to me like the horse is fine until he's asked to really work - using his hind end, going forward with impulsion, going in a frame (I assume), bending, etc... plenty of homes don't ever ask that of their horses. Just that they accept a saddle and a rider at a leisurely pace for a bit.

                                    Edited to add - EiRide illustrated my post perfectly.. we were obviously posting at the same time..
                                    www.jlsporthorsesales.net

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                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by BuddyRoo View Post
                                      The "sell the horse" route gets pretty complicated when you have one like this.

                                      A) there's the liability--you KNOW that the horse has a propensity to blow. That's typically not what people are looking for as buyers.

                                      B) there's the horse--when you've seen a horse go through person after person and have all sorts of issues, there's sometimes a piece of you that says, "if not me, then who?" When I was seriously re evaluating my mare last year, I can honestly say that I would've sooner put her down than risk her ending up in an abusive situation again.

                                      C) there's the challenge/black stallion fantasy crap. Deep down inside, you really want to be the one to figure the horse out and make it work. When it goes well, it's a cool feeling. You did it. Flip side black stallion syndrome. If anyone keeps a nutty horse around, you can bet that consciously or not, they really WANT to be the one to finally succeed with the horse and there is some fantasy land stuff going on there.
                                      Getting another one doesn't necessarily mean selling this one. Find a retirement situation, giveaway, pasture buddy situation, etc.? Something like that - just think, the money you spend on trainers would probably cover a low cost retirement board situation! Then he's got his mellow happy life, and you can move on. There have been successful giveaways listed here on COTh where the horse was complicated or difficult, and that was all spelled out clearly, if I recall.

                                      The fantasy thing is probably the hardest obstacle to overcome! Those darn childhood books where the kid tames the wild horse... puts these ideas in our heads!

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                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by twofatponies View Post

                                        The fantasy thing is probably the hardest obstacle to overcome! Those darn childhood books where the kid tames the wild horse... puts these ideas in our heads!
                                        You know something funny? I was never one to be influenced by that with animals - I have never had any use/patience for nappy/aggressive cats/dogs/horses... BIG turn-off for me.

                                        However - I fell prey to a similar syndrome with guys when I was on the dating scene (happily attached now)... I used to always stick with guys who were horrible at relationships because I heard stories about how awful their previous gfs were, and I kept thinking that if I simply behaved like a model girlfriend and treated them like kings, that they would magically wake up one morning and realize they loved me and would stop treating me like dirt. Yeeeah.... NOT SO MUCH.

                                        www.jlsporthorsesales.net

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