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  • Originally posted by cinder88 View Post
    PS....How does one go about becoming a charter member of the Ignore Slick club?
    Z, since I am the founding member (perhaps only member - very exclusive club, don'cha know?) you must go into the behind-the-scenes area, under the couch, and whack the ignore button.


    So. Who wants to discuss the validity of my theory that "hoofies" (AKA chestnuts or toe-vestiges) actually improve the half-pass by creating a wind resistance that I call The Rudder Effect?

    Comment


    • I would never put Herself on ignore. I don't have TV .

      Why does this thread continue, however, after Herself has declared it UNFUNNY! There will soon be a list posted of What is Funny. So far we have:

      What is Funny:
      1. bullriding
      2. see above
      3. see above
      4. see above
      5. see above

      What is unfunny:
      1.Anything else
      2. see above
      3. see above
      4. see above
      5. see above

      Comment


      • yabbut

        Eggy, I do have tv. And Herself reminds me of NASCAR re-runs: Pointless and predictable. Don't watch that, either.
        I can see the entertainment value for others, however.


        Now then. About hoofies..

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Equa View Post
          Hey Jude - you've blotty well Photoshopped that picture haven't you! There are six stinking (but very clean) big stallioons our front, chained to the smart car and driven by your good self up top of the gooseneck and weilding a giant carrot stick. Come on- confess!
          Oh goodness no, I would NEVER chain my darling baby stallie-wallies to ANYthing! What if their sheaths got dirty???? What if the first one pooped, then the next in line would have to poop on top of it, and the next in line after that, and so on, and then I'd have to turn around and let the first one have a go again, and then my SmartTruck wouldn't fit over top of the poop pile!!

          It is, of course, Photoshopped, though - I have to cut out the Gigantic Trophy Bowl That Would Make You All Jealous. It was filled with cheese. And I had to cut out the background so you wouldn't see that we were at a USDF CSI**** dressage show. That would make you jealous too, especially if you saw Mr. Biggest Name Trainer In All of Dressage Ever grooming for me. Plus, it would make you all want to breed to my stallions even more, and then Erin would get even madder at me. I tell her that it isn't MY fault I have the perfectest-werfectest stallie-studdikins ever, but she's tells me I have to go su...um, clean my boys.

          fiona, I'm so glad you asked!!! Really, all you need is an abundance of luuuuuuuurve, and various vegetables. You have gotten close to our training methods, but like many newbies you know just enough to be dangerous. So I will enlighten you. Never, ever, ever, EVER discipline your horse - he will never trust you again and won't let you read his mind any more. However, you have to get him trained, so when he is lame, you must work him until he starts to stagger. Then, tie up the offending leg so it isn't being hurt while he is standing, because you might do damage to it if he stands on it. He will trust you, because he knows you luuuuuuv him.

          indyblue, you absolutely HAVE to email me!!! You aren't allowed to PM me because *Someone* monitors the PMs, which is totally unfair, if you ask me. But it sounds like my Moochey-Woochey will be just perfect with your mare. I totally agree that colored Shetland crosses are the next hottest thing, and anyone who disagrees is, well I hate to say it, but just kinda dumb. His feet will be perfect for her foal. And my Moochey would never ever bolt, but I won't be offended that you said he might. You can see from his awesome dressage score at a CSI**** event that he is a great mover. My Moochey will make a perfect foal out of your old nag - wait, I meant to type MARE!!!, so you don't have to worry about that. Anky is going to be SOOO jealous, I bet she'll try to buy the foal before it's even born!

          Comment


          • Originally posted by DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho" View Post
            Actually, Ted wanted to do a freestyle to ..."Beep Beep" by the Cadillacs. "

            But shouldn't Ted be doing his freestyle to "Peep Peep" instead?
            "She still had all of her marbles, though every one of them was shaped funny and rolled asymmetrically."

            Comment


            • I'm sorry, I still can't get it out of my head!!!!! "OOGA CHAKKA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKKA HOOGA HOOGA OOGA CHAKKA"

              This STUPID song is still stuck in my head. Please someone, make it STOP!

              Comment


              • Originally posted by YoungFilly View Post
                I'm sorry, I still can't get it out of my head!!!!! "OOGA CHAKKA OOGA CHAKKA HOOGA HOOGA OOGA CHAKKA"

                This STUPID song is still stuck in my head. Please someone, make it STOP!

                EARWORM!!! YF has an EARWORM!!!!!

                (RR falls on the floor and just about splits in half laughing)

                Sorry, YF, but I am a frequent victim of Earworm-itis - with the Eagle's "Life's Been Good To Me" topping the list, followed a close second by "If You're Happy and You Know it, Clap Your Hands"

                (RR falls on the floor again, flailing around crying while small children look on mildly worried about the gene pool from which they sprung)
                Chronicles of the $700 Pony
                The Further Adventures of the $700 Pony
                www.blithetraveler.com <-- My Blog

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Jude View Post
                  It was filled with cheese. And I had to cut out the background so you wouldn't see that we were at a USDF CSI**** dressage show.
                  Murder and mayhem on the dressage circuit - maybe a new series???

                  God, I love typos!

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by YoungFilly View Post
                    I'm sorry, I still can't get it out of my head!!!!! "OOGA CHAKKA OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKKA HOOGA HOOGA OOGA CHAKKA"

                    This STUPID song is still stuck in my head. Please someone, make it STOP!

                    Watch *Charlie the Unicorn* that ought to take care of it!
                    Originally posted by BigMama1
                    Facts don't have versions. If they do, they are opinions
                    GNU Terry Prachett

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Dazednconfused View Post
                      Murder and mayhem on the dressage circuit - maybe a new series???

                      God, I love typos!
                      What makes you think it was a typo?

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        Originally posted by Sparkle's Jewel View Post
                        I swear......If I had a billion dollars I would pay someone to do a musical freestyle to Megadeaths "Symphonie of Destruction" just to see the look on peoples faces!!
                        I would do this for far less. Both Ted and I are cheap dates. Even better because we'd do a crappy freestyle, and a First level one at that.

                        We'd charge only, say, show fees plus the guarantee of a huge rosette with tassles. Any color.
                        www.specialhorses.org
                        a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          Jude, I am very interested in learning more about sporthorse breeding. I understand David Hasselhoff is your head semen collector. I would love to learn from him. Can I be a (hardly) working student?

                          And Rebe, that was brilliant. Between Jude, Rebe, YF, and RR, I have salad spittle all over the keyboard. And I am wheezing from laughing.
                          www.specialhorses.org
                          a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by dizzywriter View Post
                            Anatomists are agents of Satan. Chestnuts are the signs of the chosen. There aren't many, but I think it means heaven is full of horses, and I'm stuck here on earth with my lovely, imperfect Dobbin and enjoying myself much on the road to hell..

                            Your trailer is OK if at least some joints and/or cracks are held together with duct tape. I, personally, have been putting off doing this with my shower head. It sprouted a crack that I debate sealing with duct tape ( 10 cents for 1 1/2 inches) vs. buying a new shower head ($25 minimum). Dobbin, meanwhile, recently got a $1000 Wintec saddle.
                            Oh, does this one count? http://family.webshots.com/photo/265...87069749azvjTS

                            It is held together with various coats of paint, duct tape, baling wire, bubble gum, and spit.
                            http://community.webshots.com/album/548368465RfewoU[/url]

                            She may not have changed the stars from their courses, but she loved a good man, and she rode good horses….author unknown

                            Comment


                            • hey dizzywriter i happen to have a spare shower head - how fortunate is that!
                              i'll trade for "various vegetables" but please none that look like the Hof.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho" View Post
                                Jude, I am very interested in learning more about sporthorse breeding. I understand David Hasselhoff is your head semen collector. I would love to learn from him. Can I be a (hardly) working student?

                                And Rebe, that was brilliant. Between Jude, Rebe, YF, and RR, I have salad spittle all over the keyboard. And I am wheezing from laughing.
                                I now have spit all over my monitor. Thanks!
                                One of a Kind Studio
                                Fine Art Paintings, Horses, Dogs, Wildlife and anything else that inspires.

                                New convert to the cow horse world.. love my QH mare.

                                Comment


                                • Originally posted by Dazednconfused View Post
                                  Completely real! See Amazon.

                                  http://www.amazon.com/Metal-Mood-Mor...e=UTF8&s=music

                                  Enjoy

                                  no...just...no.

                                  After listening to the bluegrass rendition of all the heavy metal classics, I say enough is enough...no more pat boone doing metallica.
                                  "And remember-if it gets really bad, there's always tequila..." J.P.

                                  No horse should be Peepless

                                  Comment


                                  • DGRH, David does oversee our semen collection system. Usually he just pops in to make sure everything is really clean down there. He also often cleans the mares for us, making sure they are ready for mating. He has a very good system of getting them primed that he does in a private stall, and no one is allowed to watch or else his secret technique will leak out. He has taught all of the 14 year old boys that work here how to do it just right. We are all grateful for his expertise.

                                    I would love to have you as a working student, but you would have to leave Ted at home. I have heard he is a great big weenie, and we don't need weenies in my barn full of stallions. Peeps are not very manly, but you could bring some of those mallowcremes!

                                    PS: Sorry about your keyboard!

                                    fiona, big, fat, juicy carrots are the best training tool when working with stallions and broodmares. At least, that's what David tells me.

                                    Comment


                                    • I am actually doing it for a freestyle

                                      I love the David Hasselhoff video so much, it is now my freestyle!

                                      Oh yes, I can picture Odette and I going through a 4th style doing "I........... ugh I...ah.. ugh, I! am hooked on a feeling!! dododoodo hooked on a feeling, your in love with me!!!!"

                                      I have it all marked out, she will wear her princess Tierria, with her pink fluffy blanket, with white floffy lining, we are so set! This is it!

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster

                                        Maybe we should start a new thread, "Freestyle Classics You Have Envisioned?"
                                        www.specialhorses.org
                                        a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                                        Comment

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