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How Embarrassing Is It, Really?

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  • #41
    Originally posted by webbcutey View Post
    MY DOG DOES THIS!!!
    Mine to! LOL

    When I started reading this thread I just about spit hot chocolate all over my keyboard. Thanks for the laughs!
    Fox Haven Farm, Inc.
    Home of 2002 JC Registered stallion Artrageous

    Artrageous has his own Facebook page!

    Comment


    • #42
      Thanks for the laughs everybody Funniest thread yet! We need more of these

      Comment


      • #43
        Originally posted by amastrike View Post
        It's this weird noise some geldings make... It kind of sounds like someone stepped on a dying duck.
        Ok - I just spit everywhere.

        My gelding does this when he trots in from the field at night. I haven't noticed it much when I work him however. Although, when he runs around like the loon he is in the morning, he bucks and farts at the same time. I think it's quite funny and entertaining to watch.

        Comment


        • #44
          Originally posted by Arizona DQ View Post
          I truly believe my mare's sphincter muscles are tied to her rear leags. Whenever I pick up a hind leg to clean her hoof, she lets one loose.... A BIGGGGG whifff of pungent air. Never fails! If she did not to that, I think I would be worried.
          yep it seems there's quite a few horses that do that... There is also a "fart button" under the tail that is helpful if the horse is rather gassy and colicky. I think there was even a thread on it once.

          Comment


          • #45
            Originally posted by Mukluk View Post
            Horses are known farters... dogs and people too of course. But I have NEVER heard or smelled a cat fart (not that I'm complaining).
            You're fortunate! Our former cat, may he rest in peace, was on more than one occasion referred to as George Jetson for his jet-propelled leaps into laps. He arrived in style, with a mousy perfume....

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            • #46
              As somebody asked before, what is a a sheath noise..?

              I don't think I have ever cleaned Taffy's sheath, and the only noises I get are out of his butt!

              He ALWAYS farts when we're trotting, especially when I do sitting trot. It looks like I'm trying to pump it all out of his body It's really humiliating.

              And did you guys know horses are supposed to be able to poop in a full fledged gallop?

              So none of my horses has an excuse, unless they had a big feed before a ride.

              Comment


              • #47
                Originally posted by foxhavenfarm View Post
                Mine to! LOL

                When I started reading this thread I just about spit hot chocolate all over my keyboard. Thanks for the laughs!
                I nearly spilt orange juice on my brand new key board

                My dog only farts when she's had Vegemite toast, and gets a very innocent look on her face.

                She burps right in your face to. And it SMELLS! Seeing as she has been eating the horses and her poop all day

                Comment


                • #48
                  Originally posted by Bayou Roux View Post
                  You're fortunate! Our former cat, may he rest in peace, was on more than one occasion referred to as George Jetson for his jet-propelled leaps into laps. He arrived in style, with a mousy perfume....
                  Friends cat was like this - after he ate cheese.

                  Could clear out a room in less than 10 seconds

                  They seriously kept gas masks in the lounge room, and put them on when he walked in, and he only farted after they took them off

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                  • #49
                    I am so grateful that my horse doesn't poop under saddle .
                    Against My Better Judgement: A blog about my new FLF OTTB
                    Do not buy a Volkswagen. I did and I regret it.
                    VW sucks.

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      Originally posted by amastrike View Post
                      It's this weird noise some geldings make... It kind of sounds like someone stepped on a dying duck.
                      Good one! Honk, honk!

                      By the way, stallions make those noises too. It's a sheath thing, not a balls thing!
                      Hoppe, Hoppe, Reiter...
                      Wenn er faellt dann schreit er...

                      Originally posted by mbm
                      forward is like love - you can never have enough

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                      • #51
                        Originally posted by Reiter View Post
                        ...
                        By the way, stallions make those noises too. It's a sheath thing, not a balls thing!
                        Oh my. I guess the author of the following poem was wrong then.

                        "Gwendolyn and the Mysterious Gwook" or "It's All Gwook to Me"

                        On a bright springy day in Virginialeeland
                        Rode a girl on her horse (and the weather was grand).
                        They started to trot just past Newbieboob Brook
                        And from somewhere beneath them, a small sound went "Gwook."

                        Gwendolyn was astonished; she reined the horse back
                        As "Gwook" was a sound never heard from her hack.
                        Jogging home in a jiffy, she then searched a book
                        For light on the source of that puzzling "Gwook."

                        And who would have guessed it but there it all was:
                        The tale of the things that a gelding's sheath does;
                        Orchitically speaking, he's two under quotum.
                        And so melodies came from her steed's empty scrotum.

                        Now this lass lends her horse, with his gonadal tune,
                        To the village quartet when they need a bassoon.
                        And that's why I blither, in verse anapestical,
                        Of the wonderful sound caused by lack of a testicle.

                        © Deborah Stevenson


                        Equus Keepus Brokus

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          BRILLIANT!

                          Can we get the horsey stick art group going on this?

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            Originally posted by Liberty View Post
                            Oh my. I guess the author of the following poem was wrong then.

                            "Gwendolyn and the Mysterious Gwook" or "It's All Gwook to Me"

                            On a bright springy day in Virginialeeland
                            Rode a girl on her horse (and the weather was grand).
                            They started to trot just past Newbieboob Brook
                            And from somewhere beneath them, a small sound went "Gwook."

                            Gwendolyn was astonished; she reined the horse back
                            As "Gwook" was a sound never heard from her hack.
                            Jogging home in a jiffy, she then searched a book
                            For light on the source of that puzzling "Gwook."

                            And who would have guessed it but there it all was:
                            The tale of the things that a gelding's sheath does;
                            Orchitically speaking, he's two under quotum.
                            And so melodies came from her steed's empty scrotum.

                            Now this lass lends her horse, with his gonadal tune,
                            To the village quartet when they need a bassoon.
                            And that's why I blither, in verse anapestical,
                            Of the wonderful sound caused by lack of a testicle.

                            © Deborah Stevenson


                            Someone wrote a poem about sheath noises????WTF??

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              Originally posted by Reiter View Post
                              Good one! Honk, honk!

                              By the way, stallions make those noises too. It's a sheath thing, not a balls thing!
                              Although I knew a stallion that did have a balls noise. His rider was a young person, and all through the trot and canter sequences of his YR test, you could just hear that bag thwacking against his inner "thighs". slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-(extended trot) SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP (back to collected) slap-slap-slap-slap.....etc. We always wondered why that didn't hurt as much as it sounded like it did......

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                Years ago I had a mare who would fart on me EVERY TIME I walked behind her. I was 10, so her farts were EXACTLY at nose-level. It was AWFUL...

                                Comment


                                • #56


                                  I have a squeaker and a farter.

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    Originally posted by amastrike View Post
                                    It's this weird noise some geldings make... It kind of sounds like someone stepped on a dying duck.
                                    I have always called it the "gelding grunt."
                                    Riding: The art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      Originally posted by twofatponies View Post
                                      Someone wrote a poem about sheath noises????WTF??
                                      You made me spit my Lucky Charms all over myself.

                                      When my pony is having a gassy day, he will toot for every step he takes. He walks away from his meal, as if saying, "Ahhhh, my compliments to the chef."

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        A friend of mine gives her geldings "herbal enemas" prescribed by an herbalist/accupuncturist who recently visited our barn. She administers these with a huge catheter-tipped syringe once or twice a week. Her older horse responds to this treatment with the most amazing loud and drawn-out farts I've ever heard.

                                        PBpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbff ffffft! I have to hide in the lounge because I don't want to laugh in front of the horse.

                                        Friend has learned not to stand directly behind this horse when she administers the herbal mixture!

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Well, you guys are hilarious. This is, for sure one, of the all-time silliest and funniest threads ever. Even my husband has been cracking-up. Thank you, everyone, for one hysterically funny post after another.

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