• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Annoying self identified dressage person at work

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #21
    Originally posted by emipou View Post
    I was sincerely touched when a coworker whose only affiliation with horses was that he grew up in Texas, drove 2 hours to come watch me in my first schooling show. Intro a, b, c. I tried to tell him how boring it would be but he came all the way out anyway.
    Are you young , pretty and single?

    And for the rest of you---Dressage is a mental exercise, and yes you are expected to focus. Actually if you do it long enough, your body takes over a lot automatically, freeing your brain to plan even further ahead. Until a moment of panic! I'm riding which test?

    But I will agree that the self appointed Grand Masters are tough to take without a grin on your face.
    Last edited by merrygoround; Aug. 4, 2014, 06:19 PM.
    Some riders change their horse, they change their saddle, they change their teacher; they never change themselves.

    Remember the horse does all the work, we just sit there and look pretty.

    Comment


    • #22
      I for one like to listen to people talk about their passion(horses)! Sometimes it's just nice for another person to tell someone how special and good their critters are,even if they aren't.It doesn't take much to make another person happy even for a few moments of your time.
      mm

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #23
        I know, I know. I'm coming off kinda beyotchy based on if we'd had just one intro conversation. It was when a non horse person asked about my upcoming show and she radar-eared the conversation, came over and interrupted to tell us what she had done with her horses over the weekend that I went from bemused to irritated at her total self focus.
        I do hope to find a group of fun dressage riders when I start taking lessons again. I loved my instructor and hope she has room in her program.

        Comment


        • #24
          Originally posted by myrna View Post
          Sometimes it's just nice for another person to tell someone how special and good their critters are,even if they aren't.
          Aw, but to that person, the critter is! But I agree with your sentiment, be kind.
          where you invest your love, you invest your life

          Comment


          • #25
            Yeah it was a bitchy remark...I actually don't discuss my riding all that much with anyone but my trainer. I do get "lessons" occasionally from her other students on the sidelines at shows...I tell them I am all set I have a trainer thank you very much.
            I teach and train some but I don't try to go on and on about myself...I must be a bad example of a dressage rider Sorry OP.

            I did just take up golf again and what I like about golf is it's just as tedious as dressage when it comes to you position and the effect on the horse or ability to hit a golf ball...do you want to discuss that?
            Humans don’t mind duress, in fact they thrive on it. What they mind is not feeling necessary. –Sebastian Junger

            Comment


            • #26
              Originally posted by merrygoround View Post
              Are you young , pretty and single?

              And for the rest of you---Dressage is a mental exercise, and yes you are expected to focus. Actually if you do it long enough, your body takes over a lot automatically, freeing your brain to plan even further ahead. Until a moment of panic! I'm riding which test?
              No. No. and No.

              My coworker showed up before my mom or my husband. So there ya go!

              And yes - I yearn for that feeling when the horse and I are in the zone. I have this perfect vision in my head. I'm spacing out, into the ride. Totally aware and totally automated all at once. All I can see are two fuzzy, fuzzy ears and arena between them and it feels SO good.
              "I am but a passenger on this ship"
              -- Stendal (epitaph)

              Comment


              • #27
                Originally posted by JBD View Post
                I know, I know. I'm coming off kinda beyotchy based on if we'd had just one intro conversation. It was when a non horse person asked about my upcoming show and she radar-eared the conversation, came over and interrupted to tell us what she had done with her horses over the weekend that I went from bemused to irritated at her total self focus.
                I do hope to find a group of fun dressage riders when I start taking lessons again. I loved my instructor and hope she has room in her program.


                I wish you had stated that in your OP.

                Comment


                • #28
                  Re fellow BOARDERS, etc. commenting at shows or when you are schooling, there are cases, of course, when it's fine: There's one gal at our barn, who, like me, is a former eventer, and who is presently schooling 4th level (and just did her first show at that level). I'm working on 2nd/3rd level. She is inclined to yell to me when she thinks I'm getting out of position, or not asking enough, etc., but right from the beginning she said to me, "Tell me to shut up if it's none of my business, and feel free to yell at me if I'm doing something wrong." While her comments were not initially asked for, they were on point, and I respect her level of knowledge, so it's helpful and I told her to feel free to say things if she thinks things are going wrong.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    Did she state that she is a superior rider to you? If not, it seems like you have an inner dialog going that is kind of unfair. You're assuming she is thinking or feeling things that she might not even be CLOSE to thinking or feeling. She might have just been excited to share about her horse with someone that would understand. Perhaps she has no idea you were offended or thought she was bragging...??

                    I say just be happy there is horse water cooler talk. My poor work mates are probably so sick of hearing my horses name and I think they all just glaze over when I mention it. It would be lovely to have another horse person around!

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #30
                      Originally posted by rockfordbuckeye View Post
                      Did she state that she is a superior rider to you? If not, it seems like you have an inner dialog going that is kind of unfair. You're assuming she is thinking or feeling things that she might not even be CLOSE to thinking or feeling. She might have just been excited to share about her horse with someone that would understand. Perhaps she has no idea you were offended or thought she was bragging...??

                      I say just be happy there is horse water cooler talk. My poor work mates are probably so sick of hearing my horses name and I think they all just glaze over when I mention it. It would be lovely to have another horse person around!
                      I think you're correct that I may have projected things in a way that wouldn't have happened if she was self absorbed about a non-horsey topic. It still wouldn't have been a conversation(s) I wanted to repeat as it really was a monologue and not a hey let's talk about our common interests. But there are bad listeners everywhere including me on occasion.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        OP, From your first paragraph I was sure that I was that annoying dressage person at work. I will talk about it to anyone who will listen.

                        But then I realized that it can't be me. I don't know any Arabian or western people at work. Or maybe I do. I wasn't listening anyway.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          Originally posted by JBD View Post
                          I may be wrong but I've seen (heard) more assumption of superiority from dressage wanna-bes than I ever heard in other disciplines. As I plan to return my hunter to dressage lessons and shows, I dread dealing with these kind of people. I love to ride and show but have definitely enjoyed the camaraderie of my Arabian show barn more than the dressage barns where I took lessons previously.

                          I guess I'll mind my own business and try to avoid big talkers but it does take some of the joy out of returning to dressage.
                          I don't know where you are located, but in Region XII (TN, NC, SC, GA, Fl, AL, MS)
                          there are a lot of Arabian sport horse shows, with Sport Horse in Hand, Sport Horse under Saddle, Working Hunter, and Dressage. Many, many people who once did Halter and Pleasure are now doing the Sport Horse shows instead.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            The things you feel when she talks about her horses and Dressage are what most non-horse people feel when a horse person (like you, and I and everyone on this board) goes on and on about their horses.

                            Have you considered that there might be people in your office that are saying the same things about you and her and that's why they shoved you together?

                            Food for thought.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              Originally posted by JBD View Post
                              I may be wrong but I've seen (heard) more assumption of superiority from dressage wanna-bes than I ever heard in other disciplines. As I plan to return my hunter to dressage lessons and shows, I dread dealing with these kind of people. I love to ride and show but have definitely enjoyed the camaraderie of my Arabian show barn more than the dressage barns where I took lessons previously.
                              Funny, but my experience has been exactly the opposite.
                              At my dressage barn I've found a community of people who truly care about their horses' well being and happiness in their work, and who truly love to learn about how to ride their horse better and progress in partnership. They've been nothing but welcoming of me and my 3 crazy ay-rabs.

                              When I used to show the arab circuit, most of the people I encountered were more concerned with winning, and with show ring politics, and with keeping up with the latest fashion of gait or tack. Riding well and accomplishing something significant with your happy horse was less of a priority.

                              I don't think all arab barns are that way, but most of the ones I encountered were, and it sure spoiled the show experience.

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                Originally posted by JBD View Post
                                I think you're correct that I may have projected things in a way that wouldn't have happened if she was self absorbed about a non-horsey topic. It still wouldn't have been a conversation(s) I wanted to repeat as it really was a monologue and not a hey let's talk about our common interests. But there are bad listeners everywhere including me on occasion.
                                Well she might have just gotten so excited that there was finally a person at work that would understand her that she kind of spewed horse info. that was bottled up inside. From time to time we all get so excited about something that we kind of blast it out at someone else and ignore them (not meaning too). It's just good natured enthusiasm. Think of children and how they communicate ;-)

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  I'm not sure who was the self-absorbed one in the office, but I will say it's kind of in poor taste to come to a dressage forum and tell the members how dressage riders are the most intolerable horse people around based on a sample size of 1.
                                  Originally posted by Silverbridge
                                  If you get anything on your Facebook feed about who is going to the Olympics in 2012 or guessing the outcome of Bush v Gore please start threads about those, too.

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #37
                                    Originally posted by netg View Post
                                    I'm not sure who was the self-absorbed one in the office, but I will say it's kind of in poor taste to come to a dressage forum and tell the members how dressage riders are the most intolerable horse people around based on a sample size of 1.
                                    Read my posts again please. I've taken lessons at a dressage barn for a couple years as well as shown schooling and a couple rated shows. But if you'd like me to add you to the sample size, consider it done

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      Nah, I think the hunter and Arab people would miss you too much. We'll let them keep you.
                                      Let me apologize in advance.

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by Scandias View Post
                                        Oh God! I'm the annoying Dressage person at work. I must go hide under my desk now.
                                        LOL! After these responses, I think the OP is most like hiding under the proverbial rock!

                                        Comment

                                        • Original Poster

                                          #40
                                          Originally posted by Winding Down View Post
                                          LOL! After these responses, I think the OP is most like hiding under the proverbial rock!
                                          Not hardly, I'm not particularly sensitive to Internet pile ons. Plus I been on COTH long enough to know that this is mild. It would be fun to continue prodding the DQs who have responded negatively but I'd rather spend my time more positively and productively

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X