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The Suzy Roast is in Session!

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  • #61
    Photos eagerly awaited.
    And we'll certainly be able to tell if they've been photoshopped. Don't try THAT little trick again!

    I agree with fiona (even though she mortally, unforgiveably offended me by indirectly referring to me as a "Yank" when I am very obviously CANADIAN) on taking up juggling, especially using a large exercise/yoga ball to balance on. This might help you learn how to use your hands properly.
    Lifestyle coordinator for Zora, Spooky, Wolfgang and Warrior

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      #62
      I was wondering what it would take to get Fiona to come out from under her rock. I deeply appreciate all the amazing (keep in mind that word can have more than one meaning) advice all of you have proferred. You have truly given me the key to the realm!

      Regarding running away to join the circus...BTDT. This may shock some of you, but I was an abject failure. Somehow my chimpanzees juggling Uzis act was not the stunning success I envisioned because they behaved like, well, proverbial monkeys with razors. Then I tried Liberty Alligators which was impressive during practice but problematic during the actual performance when they noticed small children in the front row. Next was my Pythons on the trapeze act, which really could have been pretty amazing (remember what I said about "amazing") except that "Snuggle Bunny" liked to go AWOL on a regular basis which kind of freaked out the audience. There were other innovative things I tried, but I've gone on long enough. Anyway, you can easily see how I made the logical progression to the world of D R E S S A G E.

      Rugbygirl, quit thinkin' you're so special--Fiona mortally and unforgivably offends everyone!

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #63
        Originally posted by narcisco View Post
        She's on a level of her own. She has attained Prix St. Suzy.
        Or Pox St. Suzy

        Comment


        • #64
          Mortally offending and being unforgivable are indeed talents of mine. I have a certain affectation for Canadians though on account of one of them liking my dog.

          Anyhoo back to the talentless dimpressario that is Suzy. Do you have photos of you achieving any of the skills you think you possess? Even if it is scaring the public at Billy Smarts circus?

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #65
            Thinking you meant "affection" rather than "affectation," but you Brits do such weird stuff with words--"aluminium" instead of "aluminum" for example. [spelling police at your service]

            And speaking of being unforgivably, offensive, you never responded to my PM of several months ago.

            Comment


            • #66
              Iz gots mad skillz i can hardly dismount without falling on my a$$! Extra point if the horse spooks at me!

              There is the whole unintented leg yeilds when one of my legs quits listening and does whatever,

              My flying monkey minions are in the shoppe, but they do dressage too!
              Beyond the Ring-para dressage, training, coaching
              www.facebook.com/btrparadressage

              Proud Team Four Star Minion! Renegade for Life!

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by fiona View Post
                Mortally offending and being unforgivable are indeed talents of mine. I have a certain affectation for Canadians though on account of one of them liking my dog.

                Anyhoo back to the talentless dimpressario that is Suzy. Do you have photos of you achieving any of the skills you think you possess? Even if it is scaring the public at Billy Smarts circus?
                Yes I did. Wrote a book that you in turn totally ignored. If I had feelings they would have been hurt.

                Comment


                • #68
                  suzy,
                  Are you sure your saddle fits? Has your horse been adjusted lately, had his teeth done, does he need accupuncture, to be injected or to be given electrolytes? Have you called your vet?
                  Have you had enough lunge lessons or clinics with BNTs? Do you do pilates, yoga or personal training? Are you boots too stiff, stiff enough? Do you have a mild enough bit or is your bit too mild? What kind of pad are you using (whatever it is you must change it)? Have you asked a trainer?


                  The major criticism I have of the shots you've posted is that your are actually riding.
                  That can't be considered correct by any stretch
                  See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by nhwr View Post
                    The major criticism I have of the shots you've posted is that your are actually riding.
                    That can't be considered correct by any stretch
                    Thank goodness someone was brave enough to say this. Being intimidated by all the DQs here, I was afraid to say it.
                    Donald Trump - proven liar, cheat, traitor and sexual predator! Hillary Clinton won in 2016, but we have all lost.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Will no one say it? Where is da bling bling?? Cant take you serious not enough swarski there!
                      Beyond the Ring-para dressage, training, coaching
                      www.facebook.com/btrparadressage

                      Proud Team Four Star Minion! Renegade for Life!

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Workin on a bling saddle but even my spurs be blingin'
                        Beyond the Ring-para dressage, training, coaching
                        www.facebook.com/btrparadressage

                        Proud Team Four Star Minion! Renegade for Life!

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #72
                          The bling was on my ears, you morons. I aurica-azzled, and NO ONE noticed!

                          Fiona, I am still reading that tome you sent me on how to prevent flying changes from being late. I'm on the chapter about how to set my watch.

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            #73
                            Originally posted by nhwr View Post
                            suzy,
                            The major criticism I have of the shots you've posted is that your are actually riding.
                            That can't be considered correct by any stretch
                            Sigh. I guess it's time to come clean. I'm not riding. That's actually a custom-made armchair my husband gave me for Christmas, tack included. We lugged it all the way to a show ground just to make things look more authentic. Someone noted my mutant right hand earlier...the remote was sliding out of my hand, and I didn't want to drop it.

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Originally posted by suzy View Post
                              The bling was on my ears, you morons. I aurica-azzled, and NO ONE noticed!

                              Fiona, I am still reading that tome you sent me on how to prevent flying changes from being late. I'm on the chapter about how to set my watch.

                              Still not enough bling!!! No excuse!!! Your circus monkeys are obviously not trained well enough, they would have fixed this!!

                              There IS a reason eventers wear those huge watches

                              I suggest you train the monkey minions better unless you dont want them surpassing you in the ring? Oh the conspiracy!
                              Beyond the Ring-para dressage, training, coaching
                              www.facebook.com/btrparadressage

                              Proud Team Four Star Minion! Renegade for Life!

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Double post
                                Beyond the Ring-para dressage, training, coaching
                                www.facebook.com/btrparadressage

                                Proud Team Four Star Minion! Renegade for Life!

                                Comment


                                • #76
                                  Since the monkeys have come up again here's me Suzy and maybe was it alcohol in a pas de trois sans razorblades. Will take several tries since I have shoephone.


                                  https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.n..._4009436_n.jpg
                                  Last edited by narcisco; May. 13, 2013, 12:48 PM. Reason: missing link--alcohol was supposed to read slc

                                  Comment


                                  • #77
                                    Originally posted by suzy View Post
                                    Fiona, I am still reading that tome you sent me on how to prevent flying changes from being late. I'm on the chapter about how to set my watch.
                                    Jeezlouise!! Setting your watch is the easiest bit....
                                    get a shuffle on Suzy ...clocks ticking

                                    Comment


                                    • #78
                                      WAIT I WANNA PLAY!! I finally took the time to read most of this and I want a turn heheh

                                      Self explanatory: the movement around half the ring when an Audi is the vehicle of choice for the test runner. Sorry, my horse is only used to crap box cars. Nice vehicles are scary.
                                      https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.n...81684831_n.jpg

                                      My position is just so flawless through this medium canter, I'm not sure any COTHer can even comment. I mean you can't fix perfection
                                      https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...25061164_n.jpg
                                      https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.n...62527346_n.jpg
                                      https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.n...20304637_n.jpg
                                      https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.n...63965076_n.jpg
                                      https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...57644697_n.jpg

                                      Comment


                                      • #79
                                        Originally posted by suzy View Post

                                        Fiona, I am still reading that tome you sent me on how to prevent flying changes from being late. I'm on the chapter about how to set my watch.
                                        Seriously?!! I read the Fionapedia when I was 3 years old. I had clean changes on my 3-year old Westphalen stallion the next day. No wonder your half-passes are more like quarter-passes. Just sayin'. And I think you need to spend more money on bling than on lessons/clinic/shows. You need to get your priorities straight. If I'm not blinded by your lower lobes, you're riding dressage wrong.
                                        Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation

                                        Comment


                                        • #80
                                          Originally posted by kmmoran View Post
                                          WAIT I WANNA PLAY!! I finally took the time to read most of this and I want a turn heheh

                                          Self explanatory: the movement around half the ring when an Audi is the vehicle of choice for the test runner. Sorry, my horse is only used to crap box cars. Nice vehicles are scary.
                                          https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.n...81684831_n.jpg
                                          Alpacas are legal in dressage since when?
                                          Last edited by Bristol Bay; Jul. 19, 2013, 12:24 AM.
                                          A helmet saved my life.

                                          2017 goal: learn to ride like TheHorseProblem, er, a barn rat!

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