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The Suzy Roast is in Session!

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  • #41
    mine is both coming towards and going away... My poor reader was in danger LOL

    http://s1319.photobucket.com/user/dr...c216a.png.html

    I think you look great suzy! No roast from me
    ~~Member of the TB's Rule Clique ~~
    http://www.off-breed-dressage.blogspot.com/

    Comment


    • #42
      Originally posted by netg View Post
      Well, I mean, he's a gelding, but just before the 4th leg left the ground...
      https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...85769394_n.jpg

      I also have fun images like:

      The butt plant which convinced chicken mare the plastic really WAS a monster
      https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...21962411_n.jpg

      Spontaneous levitation, including one attempt at a mid-air twist:
      https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.n...36402216_n.jpg
      https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.n...20482472_n.jpg
      https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.n...08515881_n.jpg


      But on the plus side, he can REALLY bring his hind legs up and forward. (Each time in response to use of my leg which brought my heel up, because as you know in dressage that's EXACTLY how you're supposed to ride...)
      https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.n...84773723_n.jpg
      https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.n...58487167_n.jpg
      https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.n...82101194_n.jpg

      Note that most of the bloopers shown are actually from the same day - the butt plant was off the horse who was otherwise well behaved, and the other antics from my TB whose nuttiness is why the well behaved mare thought there were monsters and believed the blowing plastic was one of them.

      ETA: One more. This was after my back injury last year - for 6 months my left leg hung limply at my horse's side, and this was the first time I was actually able to get it to squeeze. It surprised him a little...
      https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.n...16789487_n.jpg
      Very athletic!
      Groom to trainer: "Where's the glamour? You promised me glamour!"

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #43
        Originally posted by chisamba View Post
        well, my seat is somewhat chair positioned and the saddle flap it a touch long for my leg, and well, the mount could only be considered cow hocked.

        http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m...rip2006266.jpg
        I don't think anyone can top this!

        Comment


        • #44
          ya know, suzy, I think chisamba is on to something here.
          A little cow hocked isn't bad for a dressage horse according to Hilda Gurney.
          The rider's attire is unconventional.
          But you could certainly say that she is "all cattle and no hat".


          nhwrhidesinthebusheswaitngforhelmetnazistoappear.
          See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

          Comment


          • #45
            Your horse is CLEARLY:
            -in pain
            -poorly conformed for his job
            -suffering from your poor choice of tack
            -suffering from your saddle not fitting you.
            -wearing too much, and possibly not enough bit
            (this is most certainly an attempt to subvert/corrupt the pure spirit of Classical Dressage through careful misinterpretation of the rules)
            -not ready for the level to which you have "pushed" him
            -sour from your excessive riding schedule
            -unfit from your too-light riding schedule
            -foot sore from your incompetent farrier
            -suffering EPSM/PSSM/EPM/Lyme/ABCD/EFGH/XYZ II/Herda/HYPP or other, which obviously your incompetent vet missed. How can you miss that recurring left hind lameness?! I can see it, clear as day, even in the "halt" photo!!

            While your jacket is certainly pretty and I appreciate the no-earrings look, white gloves are meant to be worn only by PERFECT riders. Your hands are not precisely level in this picture, which I choose to interpret as overall imbalance in your seat and dependence on your hands. You are just not ready for white gloves. That is most likely why your coach is flailing about, she is demonstrating how the gloves amplify your weak hands, and insisting that you spend several months riding on the lunge line. LUNGE LINE! You'd better start at the walk.

            I can't possibly produce pictures of myself riding, because it would be terribly unfair of my horse to push him into the ring just for photos to satisfy you cruel hordes. After months of terrible struggle finding JUST THE PERFECT farrier/bit/saddle/trainer/footing/trailer/horse property/barn friends/trainer again/life coach/vet/animal communicator/grooming products/nutritionally balanced feed regime/reverse osmosis barn water filter/organically produced vegan horse treats AND gluten-free, paleo, alpha-vegan, raw food diet...we are going to forgo doing anything fun together, ever, and train, properly, the way the ODGs intended until we can compete a 100% Walk-Trot test.

            I am clearly a superior horse owner and Dressage competitor.

            VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIDATE ME COTH!

            Lifestyle coordinator for Zora, Spooky, Wolfgang and Warrior

            Comment


            • #46
              Originally posted by rugbygirl View Post
              Your horse is CLEARLY:
              -in pain
              -poorly conformed for his job
              -suffering from your poor choice of tack
              -suffering from your saddle not fitting you.
              -wearing too much, and possibly not enough bit
              (this is most certainly an attempt to subvert/corrupt the pure spirit of Classical Dressage through careful misinterpretation of the rules)
              -not ready for the level to which you have "pushed" him
              -sour from your excessive riding schedule
              -unfit from your too-light riding schedule
              -foot sore from your incompetent farrier
              -suffering EPSM/PSSM/EPM/Lyme/ABCD/EFGH/XYZ II/Herda/HYPP or other, which obviously your incompetent vet missed. How can you miss that recurring left hind lameness?! I can see it, clear as day, even in the "halt" photo!!

              While your jacket is certainly pretty and I appreciate the no-earrings look, white gloves are meant to be worn only by PERFECT riders. Your hands are not precisely level in this picture, which I choose to interpret as overall imbalance in your seat and dependence on your hands. You are just not ready for white gloves. That is most likely why your coach is flailing about, she is demonstrating how the gloves amplify your weak hands, and insisting that you spend several months riding on the lunge line. LUNGE LINE! You'd better start at the walk.

              I can't possibly produce pictures of myself riding, because it would be terribly unfair of my horse to push him into the ring just for photos to satisfy you cruel hordes. After months of terrible struggle finding JUST THE PERFECT farrier/bit/saddle/trainer/footing/trailer/horse property/barn friends/trainer again/life coach/vet/animal communicator/grooming products/nutritionally balanced feed regime/reverse osmosis barn water filter/organically produced vegan horse treats AND gluten-free, paleo, alpha-vegan, raw food diet...we are going to forgo doing anything fun together, ever, and train, properly, the way the ODGs intended until we can compete a 100% Walk-Trot test.

              I am clearly a superior horse owner and Dressage competitor.

              VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIDATE ME COTH!

              FINALLY-- we have a ROAST!! Well Done, rugbygirl, especially given Suzy's blatant attempt to pre-cook her offering!! HURRAH!
              http://www.tunnelsendfarm.com

              Comment


              • #47
                Originally posted by nhwr View Post
                ya know, suzy, I think chisamba is on to something here.
                A little cow hocked isn't bad for a dressage horse according to Hilda Gurney.
                The rider's attire is unconventional.
                But you could certainly say that she is "all cattle and no hat".


                nhwrhidesinthebusheswaitngforhelmetnazistoappear.
                hahahahahaha!!! thanks for the laugh

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  #48
                  Rugby, thank goodness SOMEONE commented on my lurvely jacket. I was getting soooo depressed. Otherwise, are you sure you didn't leave anything out on your critique. I just have this nagging feeling you're keeping something from me to spare my feelings.

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    Originally posted by suzy View Post
                    Rugby, thank goodness SOMEONE commented on my lurvely jacket. I was getting soooo depressed. Otherwise, are you sure you didn't leave anything out on your critique. I just have this nagging feeling you're keeping something from me to spare my feelings.
                    Not quite, Suzy. I think Rugby was just trying to be careful not to overwhelm you with too much to work on all at once. Now, be a good girl, work on all the points she has so diligently enumerated and return to us in a month or so with a video showing your improvement, so we can have a second roast in which you, too, can find your way back to walk-trot !

                    (Assuming, of course, that you've managed to find competent vet, farrier, nutritionist.... If not, I suggest you submit a profile photo of yourself demonstrating your idea of a perfect seat-- you know, like the ones in those great old books. We should find plenty to work on/ roast right there-- especially if you choose to sit on live horse instead of a model! [Brought to you by YUM!])
                    http://www.tunnelsendfarm.com

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      Originally posted by alicen View Post
                      That's a poll high that SH/DH would approve.
                      It took me awhile but I finally figured out who you meant!

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        I just have this nagging feeling you're keeping something from me to spare my feelings.
                        That speaks volumes.

                        You've uncovered the root of your problem. One must not have "feelings" when pursuing Dressage excellence. As you're suspecting, I can't give you a full critique since you're clearly an over-emotional basket-case. I started small, it's important to have attainable goals. I didn't even mention core strength, I didn't want to go there. I think that if you work hard at your lunge line work, you might be able to get through a walk-trot test, PROPERLY. Without "feelings" like "ambition" to push you into the higher levels, you can pursue the Art of Dressage to its purest, uncorrupted form.

                        Walk-trot.

                        Your horse will thank you

                        This can be your mantra: "There's no room for feelings in Dressage!"

                        I'm very selfless. Any time you need another constructive critique, feel free to PM me. I'll reply, as long as I'm not in a fugue state of Dressage brilliance, similar to a Yogic trance.
                        Lifestyle coordinator for Zora, Spooky, Wolfgang and Warrior

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          Ruby. You are wrong.

                          It is the opposite of what you have said. I cannot believe there has not been a pile on ... Yet.

                          She needs MORE feeling. This is art. Yes. Even when you are still learning to jog around inside leg to outside rein, you should not sweat or feel like it is work, because it is art and there are paintings to prove it.

                          You should ride with feeeling, emotions on your sleeve, maybe even play some classical music to go along with your classical mentality and riding style which no matter how classical it is, just wont be enough.

                          Maybe another trainer? Someone with a hat and cape, or maybe just a tweed jacket and a pipe, let your inner dressage artist guide you.

                          Maybe another horse? Preferably white with some spanish relation, preferably something that grows a mane and tail thick enough to help you feel extra full of art as you pick the hay from it and bleach the yellow from the bottom.


                          Maybe a new book? Yes something old, very old, that trains you how to ride like you are charging a line of outlanders. That is what dressage is too you know. Art and exactly how people rode their war horses across the ages.

                          Just a few tips.
                          ~~Member of the TB's Rule Clique ~~
                          http://www.off-breed-dressage.blogspot.com/

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            No. Clearly the problem is that she is simply not blond enough.
                            Groom to trainer: "Where's the glamour? You promised me glamour!"

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              ^ That kind of airy-fairy nonsense is exactly why Dressage is in such crisis.

                              "Feeling"
                              "Emotion"
                              "Long mane"

                              *snort* (derisively)

                              Dressage is HARD WORK. It is about MATHEMATIC PRECISION and ACCURACY. "Feeling" and dripping about the ring mooning about Cavalry horses in Medieval Spain just leads to LACK OF PERFECTION. This in turn creates "frustration" JUST LIKE THE OP'S HORSE IS SCREAMING ABOUT IN HER PHOTOS! This leads to QUICK FIXES from lazy riders and trainers, zooming up the levels with pathetic scores in the 60s, using Rollkur and other ABUSIVE methods to achieve to look of perfection, with none of the SPIRIT.

                              This is exactly why I am so reluctant to return to the competition ring. None of today's competitors want to do the HARD WORK ON THE LUNGE LINE and TAKE THE TIME to create a perfect walk trot test.

                              Today's internet/iPod/microwave dinner world no longer appreciates real HARD WORK.
                              Lifestyle coordinator for Zora, Spooky, Wolfgang and Warrior

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                Clearly, you are both wrong. Dressage is neither about mechanical precision nor artistic feeling. It's about competition. It is clear that Suzy is so competitive she is creating her own movements, what looks like the an extended counter canter down the long side. She's on a level of her own. She has attained Prix St. Suzy.

                                This is epitome of dressage, moving up the levels and leaving the competition in the dirt.

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  See above

                                  Clearly being of European connections I can discern these images have been photoshopped - the colour of the sky being a dead give away.
                                  That particular shade of grey was not fei sanctioned in 2010 either as suitable for a jacket,cloud formation or horse lingering in background possibly overbent or attempting Rollkur.
                                  The alleged rider known as 'suzy's' horse who as one poster pointed out has no business being that bay is clearly travelling in a totally different direction to some, and indeed often, all of his feet.

                                  Aunt Esther who is currently on an European sojourn just tweeted that the most heinous crime is an unbuttoned jacket - it far eclipses the over liberal use of soft focus and dust intended to convey power and movement.

                                  Personally I am more disturbed by the lady leaning on the fence watching and no doubt laughing while your trainer points out just how much length is left before the end of her tether.
                                  Last edited by fiona; May. 9, 2013, 03:43 PM. Reason: My eyes are bleeding

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    ^^ Yes – me too – having spent many years in Europe (shoveling s**t), I mean grooming and riding Olympic caliber horses. I feel I have a superior eye to all of you Yanks out there. Therefore Suzy, I will put my (eurotrash opinion), I mean educated opinion to work on your second photo. Are you trying to perform “airs above the ground”??
                                    That is clearly the least talented attempt at a croupade I have ever seen. I will not comment on the other photos as they show no movements that interest my (inexperienced but will offer my opinion anyways), I mean my keenly trained eye.

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      Well, Suzy, the above are all good points.

                                      It is quite possible you are not flexible enough as well. Horse and rider yoga I hear is quite helpful.

                                      Copious amounts of bareback, bitless, and clicker training may be a start but not before you inject every joint in both your mount and yourself and say something negative about Dutch training in at least 300 posts, specifically about Anky counts for ten each.
                                      ~~Member of the TB's Rule Clique ~~
                                      http://www.off-breed-dressage.blogspot.com/

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        pretty sure it's ulcers or epm, but also get spinal xray and check saddle fit

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Think the question we should be all asking of Suzy is

                                          Can you juggle?

                                          Juggling is de rigeur sans dressage in Europe just now.
                                          No selfpromoting dressage personality is seen without a just released best selling ( euro moms rock!!) tome on how running away to the circus will give you the knife edge in The roller coaster of dressage sport or words to that effect.

                                          clowns were certainly mentioned. As was tight rope..... Point being
                                          if you and dear old Pantaloony ( surely it was he?) can stand on a wobble board and throw caution to the wind you'll be half way there dear Suzy.

                                          Photos eagerly awaited.

                                          Comment

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