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The Suzy Roast is in Session!

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  • Original Poster

    #21
    Originally posted by narcisco View Post
    I have been informed by PM that Heavenhead is no longer actually poll high, she is nose high. She does not meet the classical standards set down in stone by the ODGs , so no wings for me, yet.
    In that case, you don't get my harp either!
    Last edited by suzy; May. 7, 2013, 12:39 PM.

    Comment


    • #22
      I haven't received any PMs, positive or otherwise, but that's not going to stop me from claiming a significant silent horde of support for my strongly worded opinions. After all, every answer you're looking for has already been written down 3000 years ago, and the fact that you don't know means you're an ignoramus.

      As the late great Xenophon said, "Just tellin' it like it is. Learn to ride."

      At this point I've usually got a dearth of legs to stand on, so I'm going to throw up this video to cover my tracks:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKbqokuTzh8

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #23
        Originally posted by cnm161 View Post
        As always, there's no point in anyone critiquing unless they're ready to pony up some pics.
        CNM, which part of "Roast" don't you understand. You have to pony up some really hideous pictures if you want to be included in the critiquing. You have failed miserably. Stand in the corner with whomever it was that failed the eye test. What a bunch of LOSERS!

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          #24
          Originally posted by nhwr View Post
          And you never should ride your horse that deep or with that much flex through the poll. Really! we can't even tell what color his tongue is.
          Lambchop, I think it's a foregone conclusion that it's blue.

          Comment


          • #25
            cnm161 really you think you can throw a video up here of some ODG and make things all sunshine and roses? Please.

            I saw that ride in person so I speak with some authority here. Just because the guy had a gazillion medals doesn't mean he can actually ride. Look at the canter work, medium, collected or extended, it is decidedly 3 beat throughout. Just look how the neck telescopes at the walk. Check the video around 6:50 into it, the guy can't ride a straight line, he is all over the arena. And you must consider the context. What the video doesn't show is that at the end of the day, the rider was so wiped out he couldn't even hold the reins with both hands or decide what lead to canter on.

            By the way, the rider has PM'd me and he is livid that you posted that without his permission. Expect to hear from his people shortly.
            See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

            Comment


            • #26
              Narcisco, regarding the earrings...that was an eye test. You failed.
              Good thing that doesn't preclude you from being a judge!

              NJR
              Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behaviour does.

              Comment


              • #27
                AND... just when I was taking a much needed break from COTH and all the snarkiness, you, Suzy, come up with the best thread in the Dressage forum in like forever. I want to read again!!! and Laugh!!! and better yet I can totally relate

                Oh and my horse can really get his head in the air - even better than yours,
                Here he is saying - "But mom I was bred to be a jumper why do I even have to do this dressssage stuff???"
                http://s1072.photobucket.com/user/ft...36122232353709

                Comment


                • #28
                  Well dear take heart

                  Klassically speaking your halt is MUCH better than Anky ever did.

                  There might be a few little movements that come before the final halt that need a tad of work.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    As a usual lurker, I can adopt an air of superiority because I am "above the riff raff that usually partakes in the inanity of these trainwrecks" and therefore submit my entry as a vastly superior breed of air sniffer. For the group's inspection, I present the rare "Snow Salutation" pose and will henceforth silently skitter back to lurkdom.

                    http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/...psefe0830b.png

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      Originally posted by Reddfox View Post
                      As a usual lurker, I can adopt an air of superiority because I am "above the riff raff that usually partakes in the inanity of these trainwrecks" and therefore submit my entry as a vastly superior breed of air sniffer. For the group's inspection, I present the rare "Snow Salutation" pose and will henceforth silently skitter back to lurkdom.

                      http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/...psefe0830b.png
                      That one wins the Afrin Nasal Decongestant Spray award!!!!

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Originally posted by suzy View Post
                        ... The last time I was able to drag (literally) my husband to a show as he has since smartened up and knows not to eat or drink anything offered to him the day of a show as he ends up passed out and wakes up hours later at (OMG) a dressage show!!!
                        Oh and BTW - I even mention the words "Dressage Show" to my husband and he drops immediately off into a coma.

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #32
                          Originally posted by quietann View Post
                          Well those of us down in the smurf levels can't hold a candle to you, but here's the creaky Training Level rider with cute Morgan version:
                          https://picasaweb.google.com/1036348...25216155273810
                          .
                          Cute Morgan does have a few Chernobyl moments, but when he's good, he's very very good! And who wouldn't LOVE his color!!! I just reminded myself of a very funny conversation I had several years after I bought the horse pictured in the OP. I ran into a young woman whose sister had ridden him when he was 3-4 years old. I asked, "Oh, how did she like him?" fully expecting a glowing report. Totally dead pan, she looked straight at me and said, "He was a little bastard, but when he was good, he was very very good." Truly a Depends moment. Not sure she understood why I was laughing so hard, but it was a combination of her dead seriousness and the actual comment. Gotta love people who have ESL and can communicate clearly enough but haven't yet figured out about filtering certain words.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            I'm very dissapointed in all the canter videos Not one shows the required degree of "mare face" and bucking that makes my rides so interesting Sadly DH never comes to barn to record our attempts at lessoning.
                            I will have to beg him or bribe him to come out soon.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              I prevent my horse from being croup high with the one-rein stop.

                              And I have *thigh blocks* on my saddle, which help at the highest point of the bucks to keep me from being shoved forward out of the saddle. I do, however, suffer from a chair seat in this photo.

                              I admit to not having the half-a$$ problem Suzy does, as I'm more double wide.

                              http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7329/8...1c08dcd07e.jpg
                              Originally posted by Silverbridge
                              If you get anything on your Facebook feed about who is going to the Olympics in 2012 or guessing the outcome of Bush v Gore please start threads about those, too.

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                Originally posted by nhwr View Post
                                cnm161 really you think you can throw a video up here of some ODG and make things all sunshine and roses? Please.

                                I saw that ride in person so I speak with some authority here. Just because the guy had a gazillion medals doesn't mean he can actually ride. Look at the canter work, medium, collected or extended, it is decidedly 3 beat throughout. Just look how the neck telescopes at the walk. Check the video around 6:50 into it, the guy can't ride a straight line, he is all over the arena. And you must consider the context. What the video doesn't show is that at the end of the day, the rider was so wiped out he couldn't even hold the reins with both hands or decide what lead to canter on.

                                By the way, the rider has PM'd me and he is livid that you posted that without his permission. Expect to hear from his people shortly.

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  well, my seat is somewhat chair positioned and the saddle flap it a touch long for my leg, and well, the mount could only be considered cow hocked.

                                  http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m...rip2006266.jpg

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    OMG. Your cow horse actually comes with a saddle flap, chisamba! lol

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      Originally posted by crystalyoung1 View Post
                                      I'm very dissapointed in all the canter videos Not one shows the required degree of "mare face" and bucking that makes my rides so interesting Sadly DH never comes to barn to record our attempts at lessoning.
                                      I will have to beg him or bribe him to come out soon.
                                      Unfortunately my 1st husband destroyed any of my really old booper photos or they are on VHS, which I haven't had transferred to digital (if it's even possible). So I don't really have any to share (and believe me I used to have plenty). I do have this "gelding face" shot taken right before blastoff. Do I get to roast
                                      Suzy now, too?

                                      http://s1147.photobucket.com/user/cf...tml?sort=3&o=0
                                      Groom to trainer: "Where's the glamour? You promised me glamour!"

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        That cow has a better neck set than Star Sniffer.

                                        I am considering chapters for Lost at C's book "What the Hell is Happening and How do I Ride That?" A longer term vision includes different versions like the Chicken Soup Series. "What the Hell is Happening and How do I Deal/Sleep/Cope/ with That?" and so on.

                                        But back on the dressage track, and speaking of which, do you know that I am one of the few riders who can put a horse on one track? I have a photo. Anyway, I think that belongs in one of the chapters:

                                        Mystery Movements.
                                        Last edited by narcisco; May. 7, 2013, 07:44 PM. Reason: What is a booper?

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by crystalyoung1 View Post
                                          I'm very dissapointed in all the canter videos Not one shows the required degree of "mare face" and bucking that makes my rides so interesting Sadly DH never comes to barn to record our attempts at lessoning.
                                          I will have to beg him or bribe him to come out soon.
                                          Well, I mean, he's a gelding, but just before the 4th leg left the ground...
                                          https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...85769394_n.jpg

                                          I also have fun images like:

                                          The butt plant which convinced chicken mare the plastic really WAS a monster
                                          https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...21962411_n.jpg

                                          Spontaneous levitation, including one attempt at a mid-air twist:
                                          https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.n...36402216_n.jpg
                                          https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.n...20482472_n.jpg
                                          https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.n...08515881_n.jpg


                                          But on the plus side, he can REALLY bring his hind legs up and forward. (Each time in response to use of my leg which brought my heel up, because as you know in dressage that's EXACTLY how you're supposed to ride...)
                                          https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.n...84773723_n.jpg
                                          https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.n...58487167_n.jpg
                                          https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.n...82101194_n.jpg

                                          Note that most of the bloopers shown are actually from the same day - the butt plant was off the horse who was otherwise well behaved, and the other antics from my TB whose nuttiness is why the well behaved mare thought there were monsters and believed the blowing plastic was one of them.

                                          ETA: One more. This was after my back injury last year - for 6 months my left leg hung limply at my horse's side, and this was the first time I was actually able to get it to squeeze. It surprised him a little...
                                          https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.n...16789487_n.jpg
                                          Originally posted by Silverbridge
                                          If you get anything on your Facebook feed about who is going to the Olympics in 2012 or guessing the outcome of Bush v Gore please start threads about those, too.

                                          Comment

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