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I am simply done with dressage...for now

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  • #61
    So what will it cost you to get this horse noticed by eyes that can ride it to the levels you believe it can reach? Will a good trainer take her in full training as a sales horse at this point? Would she be better with 3-6 months dedicated work?

    I only ask because there seem to be few people with the magic combination of money, time, ability and desire to take on a prospect.

    Sometimes your horse may sell for a price to another person who will also get stuck at the lower levels...if you really want to see the horse at top training, that is a different goal than maximizing your own riding skills.

    Both of these are good goals, but realize that selling the horse for good money to make changes in your own -and their life- isn't a terrible one, either.

    And if the new owner should be happily stuck in the lower levels and is also a decent horseman your former horse will still have a good life. Yes, there are other poeple who take good care of horses; selling is not a 'last resort' choice, often it works out best for all in the transaction.

    Then there is leasing, if she is truly that wonderful.

    Comment


    • #62
      Originally posted by Alterrcation View Post
      I am 100% overwhelmed by how hopeless it it so have a truly nice horse and know that there will be very little progress due to having a low income, living 3 hours from a competent trainer for help, and always riding alone. I am a lower level capable rider. ..... Living out here, everything is so hard. All shows are also 3-6 hours away and it is not a sport for the lower income bracket people. Even if I decided not to show and focus on training, again the distance and expense makes it not a reality.
      ...
      I have a 10 y.o. gelding that I bred and raised.

      He's a fancy horse - could he be much farther along with someone else other than with me? Yes. But he's mine and I wouldn't trade him for the world. He's got a great life - lives out 24/7 with a few mares - thinks he's king of the world

      Do I make a lot? No.

      Do I live 3-6 hours from a trainer / shows? Yes. I haul for a lesson twice a month - it's expensive, takes up the whole day and I gotta get down the road to get home afterwards.

      There will always be someone who makes more and has lots of access to training.

      There will be people wished they had "as much money as I do" to even afford to own a horse. There's someone sleeping in a carboard box tonite. Someone panhandling for money.

      I try to focus on what I can change and not what I can't. If you live far away from stuff, look for a new job and relo. I have been but it is a slow go.

      Comment


      • #63
        I understand what the OP is saying. I'm in a similar position, but I haven't decided to sell the horse. Yet. I do saddleseat, not dressage, but I'm NoVA. I may as well be in a desert. I have a 4 hour round trip to a trainer, and when I get to showing, it will be expensive, more so than for most dressage shows, and there aren't many cost cutting measures. It is frustrating. Finding another job in another geographic area would still keep me on the east coast, because that is where jobs in my field are. There are few saddlebreds anywhere along the coast. Besides, I like my job.

        I could relocate the horse to NoVA and do dressage, hunt, jump, trail ride, etc, etc, etc. But I DON'T WANT TO. If I had wanted to do any of those things I would not have bought this horse. I would have bought a quarter horse. There have been many posts in other threads about riders who retire from horses completely because they are no longer able to perform at their desired level. This isn't that much different. I would not be happy "making do".

        I am well aware, and the OP is too, that there are others who are in a much worse position financially. Horses are nothing but a luxury. But unless one has limitless funds and resources (not necessarily $$), there is a choice that has to be made - a) do you participate at the level you want, b)particpate at the level you can afford, or c)not participate at all. For some type A personalities, 'b' is not really a choice.
        Visit my Spoonflower shop

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        • #64
          Originally posted by red mares View Post
          I understand what the OP is saying. I'm in a similar position, but I haven't decided to sell the horse. Yet. I do saddleseat, not dressage, but I'm NoVA. I may as well be in a desert. I have a 4 hour round trip to a trainer, and when I get to showing, it will be expensive, more so than for most dressage shows, and there aren't many cost cutting measures.
          I got ya beat. My last gaited horse, I drove over 4.5 hours one way to the trainer. Made it to 3 shows. Did ok in two, awesome in 1. I look at that blue ribbon every morning (it hangs in my closet) and go ride my barefoot horse bareback. I burned out. But it was fun while the money and ambition lasted

          Comment


          • #65
            Yup!

            I've got a horse that a lot of people have told me is very talented. I've dealt with exactly the same issues you have. She's 18 now and I'm finally getting some lessons on her and I showed her training level at a couple of schooling shows for the first time in the fall. I feel grateful to have had the opportunity to have such a nice horse in spite of the fact that we haven't really done anything and she's very happy to have her own little herd (of two) and her own little farm. I've also learned a lot from her, even when I didn't have an instructor.

            That said, I also have a potentially very talented hunter that I bred and I'm in the same situation with her. I've decided to put her up for sale for several reasons 1) I don't want to waste the talent of 2 horses, 2) I really need the money, 3) I really can't keep 3 horses in work, 4) she really wants to be someones pampered #1 and 5) she LOVES to jump and I don't.

            Good luck with your decision but, if you enjoy the horse, I don't think you are wasting it.
            Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Goethe

            Comment


            • #66
              Don't "Should on yourself"!

              Your horse could care less if he ever gets out of TL.

              Do what you can and enjoy the knowledge that if your position changes, you can always get someone to tune him up again.
              Show me your horse and I will tell you who you are.

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by SmartAlex View Post
                I got ya beat. My last gaited horse, I drove over 4.5 hours one way to the trainer. Made it to 3 shows. Did ok in two, awesome in 1. I look at that blue ribbon every morning (it hangs in my closet) and go ride my barefoot horse bareback. I burned out. But it was fun while the money and ambition lasted
                I can beat that though - I showed my old mare in Indianapolis out of her retirement home in Fort Wayne. 13-14 hours each way from SE VA. We got a blue ribbon & a crystal bowl in our 1 class. Very expensive blue ribbon Not bad for horse the trainer wouldn't take to a show 3 months earlier.
                Visit my Spoonflower shop

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by Calhoun View Post
                  I don't think your horse stands at the fence looking at you, asking "Why am I not a show horse?" It's obvious you love him, so keep him and just ride. Owning a talented/valuable horse does not equal dressage shows. I'll bet there are many people on this Board, who have equally talented horses and do not show due to circumstances in their lives, but would never give up riding.
                  This.

                  I also think it's a far bigger shame, when a top trainer tries to push a good horse beyond what it can handle, because they are "almost all the way there". I'd much rather have a horse who is far more talented than I am so we can grow together. I doubt any horse will complain about the work being too easy

                  I have a lovely horse, and my only goal is to progress as far and as fast as we can while still having fun. If we max out at second level, so be it. I love him and my only desire for him is to enjoy his time with me as much as I enjoy my time with him.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    I always say that a horse's long term goal is dinner and short term goal is lunch.

                    Enjoy your horse. He doesn't care much about his career.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      I know this will be an unpopular answer.

                      I think the OP is saying that she thinks her nice horse should get a shot at developing his potential. She feels her current situation is standing in the way of that. She did not say that the horse HAS to be a dressage horse and going to the shows. She just feels he might be quite good at it, and doesn't want to stand in his way.

                      I don't think, just b/c we own a horse, that we can do anything we want with it. Honestly, I think that if Secretariat had not been allowed to run, that would have been a tragedy. Going by the movie (and the outtake segments on the DVD), it would have been a tragedy to not have let that horse reach his potential. Fortunately, he got on the path he should have been put on, by the people who took his budding, albeit erratic, potential seriously.

                      I think we are guardians, not owners, of our horses. And it is part of our job to do our best to get them to the life they are best suited for. I think all living creatures have potential, and if they are in our care (as a parent, as an 'owner), it is our job to set them up for success.

                      If this OP, in her heart of hearts, feels that her nice horse will do better in a situation that she currently seems unable to provide, I say kudos to her for not making this horse about herself and for making that horse's wellbeing the priority.

                      People can say the horse doesn't care about a career, but there are many, many horses who through good training, have found themselves thriving as a jumper, trail horse, lesson horse, or dressage horse. Horses may not pull out the calendar and plan the next three months of training and showing, but lots of retired horses get bummed out when they 'lost their job.'

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by Mariesonny View Post
                        I always say that a horse's long term goal is dinner and short term goal is lunch.


                        But as you do not wish to keep him, and do wish to see him go on, see what you can do to sell him to a more advantaged rider. Horses DO like to advance in their training and some horses live for it, just as we do. Between rides though, most horses want to bask in the sun with their buddies and snooze. That's 22 hours out of every 24, so a good lifestyle is vital when you accept an offer on him.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Hello! You have received a lot of wise and empathetic replies. I would like to add my 2 cents (maybe worth 1 cent with inflation
                          No matter who you are, or what your income, or where you live, you will always have drawbacks, barriers, challenges of one kind or another. You certainly have your share of them. But one of the things I've learned in my old age is that things change - as often for the better as not. . .
                          You have bred a wonderful horse; that is a blessing and a gift. Who knows? Someday you may have a better job, with more income, etc. or you may find yourself moving somewhere closer to a trainer etc. You never know. If your horse is young, you have all the time in the world to develop him; going up the levels more slowly might be better for the horse than moving faster anyway, and in the meantime, do what your collegues have suggested: enjoy him. There is a lot you can do just hacking out. . .
                          I am not rich and I have weathered many setbacks on my "dressage path" but so have many many others. It's about staying in the game more than anything else - in whatever way makes sense to you. Some of my barriers are having no indoor arena and living in an area where winter can ground you for six months at a time. . . I have found I can do quite a bit of schooling on the road (leg yields from one side of the road to the other, shoulder and haunches in, transitions, half-halts!) I also went back to school for an advanced degree that allows me a job with a bit more money but ironically less time. . . so there is always something in one's way, it seems. My trainer is three hours away too. I have fewer lessons than I'd like but the ones I do have are awsome and give me lots to work on at home, and in the meantime I read, watch videos, audit clinics. There are ways and ways of staying in the game if you love it and it's what you want.
                          I can understand how very discouraged you must feel, but in the end it's about what you really want. If you want to keep the horse and carry on in whatever way you can, more power to you. You may find your fortunes changing for the better at some point.
                          I wish you the very best and I hope what whatever decision you make, is the one that makes you most happy.

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Face it, everyone out here will have an opinion. Asking this board for suggestions and ideas is probably not going to help you make up your mind. You are writing out here that you've already given up (at least in the OP). If you have, then sell the horse, take the money and run.

                            If you were serious about riding, you'd make a complete lifestyle change to be able to reach your goals. If you aren't serious about it, but instead have some ideal in your mind that you know you are not going to be able to make the sacrifices to meet, be a realist and give it up. It's okay. You can do something else and be just as satisfied with your life as you think you would be if you somehow fulfilled your dressage fantasy. (In this scenario you can keep or sell the horse. Six of one, half dozen the other.)

                            If you are serious, then make major changes. No more pity parties. Low income and living in an area away from trainers is an excuse. Anyone can move and find side jobs that will help make up the difference so you can pay for the lessons and board for the horse.

                            JMO
                            "And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling." - Capt Reynolds "Firefly"

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Originally posted by cyberbay View Post
                              I know this will be an unpopular answer.

                              I think the OP is saying that she thinks her nice horse should get a shot at developing his potential. She feels her current situation is standing in the way of that. She did not say that the horse HAS to be a dressage horse and going to the shows. She just feels he might be quite good at it, and doesn't want to stand in his way.

                              I don't think, just b/c we own a horse, that we can do anything we want with it. Honestly, I think that if Secretariat had not been allowed to run, that would have been a tragedy. Going by the movie (and the outtake segments on the DVD), it would have been a tragedy to not have let that horse reach his potential. Fortunately, he got on the path he should have been put on, by the people who took his budding, albeit erratic, potential seriously.

                              I think we are guardians, not owners, of our horses. And it is part of our job to do our best to get them to the life they are best suited for. I think all living creatures have potential, and if they are in our care (as a parent, as an 'owner), it is our job to set them up for success.

                              If this OP, in her heart of hearts, feels that her nice horse will do better in a situation that she currently seems unable to provide, I say kudos to her for not making this horse about herself and for making that horse's wellbeing the priority.

                              People can say the horse doesn't care about a career, but there are many, many horses who through good training, have found themselves thriving as a jumper, trail horse, lesson horse, or dressage horse. Horses may not pull out the calendar and plan the next three months of training and showing, but lots of retired horses get bummed out when they 'lost their job.'
                              I agree with you. The OP understands that the horse does not care.
                              Originally posted by Alterrcation View Post
                              Yes, he does not know he is a "nice" horse and could care less if he ever gets out of Trg Level.
                              But she is also thinking that he could give someone else the opportunity to shine. I think that's comendable, and a good reason to sell him, especially when she has another horse she can enjoy.
                              Originally posted by Alterrcation View Post
                              But he is a valuable horse and I feel like the RIGHT thing is to sell him to a rider who will be able to be successful and appreciate him. I have another horse I can ride and putz around on and still work on dressage with.
                              Donald Trump - proven liar, cheat, traitor and sexual predator! Hillary Clinton won in 2016, but we have all lost.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Sheesh, Velvet. Did you trip getting out of bed this morning and smack your little head! I do get what you are saying to a point. However, the job market has changed so dramatically in the past 3-4 years that I, for one, wouldn't dare quit my job and move just to be closer to a trainer. Heck, I'm not even sure I could sell my house in this market. And, the OP may have an SO and/or children to consider.

                                Anyway, I am in the camp that believes horses are not concerned about career ladders, seeing their names in print, their faces on the cover of "Dressage Today," or having vacation barns in exotic locations. They are much more concerned with a reliable source of food and water, comfort, a safe haven, and companionship. All the other stuff is stuff we impose on them--they can happily do without it.

                                Comment


                                • #76
                                  By the time my children were old enough to not toddle around the showgrounds-nonhorsey husband-and my finances allowed me to show locally, my horse went lame. I fell apart over not being able to show a talented calm horse that I waited to show but my horse was OK, even though he loved to show. I think he missed it but when I just could not go out and face my pain and ride him, he missed me more.

                                  I would love to have the life and money that allows me to ride and show, but I don't. I work full-time and now have two horses and it is hard. I am also a show mom to my daughter now, my showing is essentially over. I have horses and my daughter loves to ride, and I am blessed. It is hard having to rearrange your goals but that is just a part of life.

                                  Comment


                                  • #77
                                    Folks, the thread is over two months old. It was bumped by a newbie poster in post #72. Something to keep in mind as you talk amongst yourselves.
                                    Head Geek at The Saddle Geek Blog http://www.thesaddlegeek.com/

                                    Comment


                                    • #78
                                      Originally posted by xQHDQ View Post
                                      I hate the word "should." He should be doing more. He shouldn't be just a TL horse. I should sell him.

                                      Maybe his talent is not upper level dressage (potential is nothing if it's not what you want) but instead it's being the best all-around horse ever. Your all-around horse.

                                      He's your horse. Do whatever you want with him. Period. End of story. Stop worrying so much and have fun with him. If you don't need to sell him, don't.
                                      Agreed. Free-lease him to some deserving young rider/WS who can't afford her own horse and who would happily live on Ramen noodles if need be while your horse proves himself. And if he doesn't prove himself — well, he's still your horse.
                                      "Go on, Bill — this is no place for a pony."

                                      Comment


                                      • #79
                                        my favorite saying about my talented horse matched up with my unambitious self is: "he's my horse, I deserve a nice horse and I'll waste his talent all I like!"

                                        :-D

                                        YAY for me. he's your horse. have fun with him. and waste his talent all day long!

                                        oops sorry, old thread; well hopefully the OP is still subscribed and she'll get an email at midnight...

                                        Comment


                                        • #80
                                          Originally posted by jn4jenny View Post
                                          Folks, the thread is over two months old. It was bumped by a newbie poster in post #72. Something to keep in mind as you talk amongst yourselves.
                                          I'd noticed that as well, though it seems like it's a common enough theme. Though the OP has hopefully made a decision by now, I can't imagine s/he was the only one on this board who wonders if they are wasting their horse's talent and/or feels held back by finances.
                                          "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming part dog."
                                          -Edward Hoagland

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