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I am simply done with dressage...for now

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  • #41
    First of all we all deserve a good horse!

    I am sorry you are feeling frustrated. Sometimes these things cause us to rationalize how we are living life. I don't know if you have family, or are a single gal, but if you have the freedom to do it, think about changing some of the limiting factors. But hang on to your lovely horse, after all that's what gives you pleasure!

    Comment


    • #42
      Here's my take on it, and I'm not being judgemental, because I know where you're coming from.

      You think it is best that you sell him, but because you love him, raised him, and you feel like you are giving up on your dream... you feel a little guilty. Guilty for "giving up", guilty for selling a "pet".

      Hey, there are worse reasons to sell a horse than "the money sure would be nice". You don't need to use the "I live in a horse free zone" excuse. If you feel like it's time to maybe cash in a little, that's OK. I'm sure he would have a nice life with a more competitive person, and you might find another horse that makes you put a little less pressure on you to be something you don't really want to be right now.

      I'm not sure you are seperating in your own heart the issues of making a nice sum of money by giving up your "dream horse" and your frustration on how hard it is to achieve a dream that might not seem worth it anymore.

      Comment


      • #43
        Oh man, do I ever know what you're talking about. I am/was in the exact same position with my filly whom I just posted a video of on another thread. She has world class breeding, attitude, talent, the works and is absolutely my dream horse.

        Unfortunately, I am at rock bottom financially and have not been able to get any help until hopefully this week. I had to start her myself in an unfenced outdoor arena and go from there, constantly forcing myself to keep moving forward instead of obsessing about how I was ruining her. She is definitely behind for her age, but the future is bright. I just moved her to a hunter/jumper barn so I can at least have eyes on the ground but it is a huge stretch for me financially.

        I think you can use resources like the internet to either get trainers you admire to send you feedback, or, if you're brave enough, ask forums like this to chime in. Then just haul out for a clinic when one comes through your region that seems worth driving to, get it video taped, and work from that. It is hard, but I think the key is to just keep moving forward and not let yourself cave in a moment of weakness. Dressage attracts a lot of perfectionists, and sometimes we have to learn to just put that aside and work with what we have.

        Comment


        • #44
          If personal finances not an issue (meaning you don't need the money from selling him), maybe you would consider leasing him and still own him and get to hear of his dressage progress with someone else. I have done this (in eventing) with a lot of horses and I really love hearing about how my guys are doing in their new (typically totally doting) homes.
          OTTBs rule, but spots are good too!

          Comment


          • #45
            I bust my buck-maker 6 days a week to afford my "dressage" horse. Most of the time I am too tired to care if we're rushing our leg yields. I get on, relax, and feel my gelding moving underneath me as my team mate. Because I'm so Ramen noodle poor right now, I had to kiss Spring show season (and my bi monthly lessons) goodbye.

            I was upset for a little while but now I DON'T CARE! I love my horse, he is my dream come true, and just the pleasure of being around him is enough for me right now! This is supposed to be fun!

            I agree that you should consider leasing/selling the other horse. The horse your talking about in your post... it seems you really have a spark with him. Don't dare sell him! Potential is in your eyes, not his. I hope you make your decision easy (: <3
            "No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle" -Winston Churchill

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            • #46
              Sounds to me like maybe you are confusing your horse's goals/dreams with your own. You are the one that saw an upper level horse in him, he doesn't know upper level anything exists, and likely would think it's just much harder work than hanging out in the field! Think about what you really want for you, and then make a plan to get there.

              I was in the same situation last summer. I had my heart horse, an average mover, teenaged ottb with previous injuries that bug him (so not a great prospect for showing/moving up levels) but a heart of gold, and I had a fancy young horse that made me dream BIG. I could keep both horses, but I couldn't afford lessons, clinics, and especially the shows I dreamed of with the fancy young horse! I finally decided that what was really important to me was my bronze medal (then silver, then gold... still dreaming big lol), and that it would actually mean more to me to do it on my heart horse if possible, and that the fancy horse could better serve my goals by providing me the money to reach them than by carrying me into the ring herself.

              It was hard to kiss 2 years of training goodbye, but I still hadn't shown her, and the situation wasn't changing. So I sold her, and in a weird twist of fate, ended up finding a super bargain on a trailer (which was another thing holding me back from clinics/shows, I'd been looking forever but couldn't find one cheap enough!), and then a week or two later stumbled upon a very cheap young ottb that just made my heart melt. So I sold the fancy horse, ended up with another young (not quite as fancy but darn nice) horse and a trailer, and still have cash in the bank. I've got the young one started and at some point he will either further my goals by providing me with more money, or I will fall in love and he will take over as my show horse... but for now, I've been really working with that teenaged heart horse, he got $1200 of joint injections (thank you very much young fancy horse!!) and he is SOUND, and I am hauling him out for lessons with a great trainer, and he is doing work I never dreamed he'd be capable of! I am having SO much fun with him, and I'm actually even enjoying riding/dressage more now... no more pressure to show, just desire to show! Bronze medal now appears in reach

              Decide what your real goal is, and how each horse can best contribute to helping you get there. Once you decide, open your mind and let it happen. I never thought I would find the deal on the trailer like I did, or that I'd even end up with the new young horse I found, but once I set my plan in motion, the rest just fell into place.
              Gallant Gesture "Liam" 1995 chestnut ottb gelding
              Mr. Painter "Remy" 2006 chestnut ottb gelding
              My Training Blog: www.dressagefundamentals.com

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              • #47
                Originally posted by Equibrit View Post
                What you should be concentrating on, is being the best that you can. Your post does not suggest that you are. There is no reason that you couldn't be REALLY good at some other discipline with your great horse - he doesn't care. Whatever you do you should be doing it to the best of your ability. If that means trail riding, chasing cows, doing obstacle courses etc, then so be it. Give yourself a chance to be proud of something. If you think this way, success seems to creep up on you, rather than you experiencing a constant striving for something out of reach. Learn how to just enjoy your horse.
                LOVE THIS!
                "No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle" -Winston Churchill

                Comment


                • #48
                  Have you checked out any of the emerging online training programs? Or maybe find a trainer who is willing to help you based on evaluating video footage? You can get a lot of feedback just based on a video of your rides.

                  If he's your dream horse, keep him. You'll find a way. Progress might be slower, but you sound committed to doing your best, so there.
                  "Reite dein Pferd vorwärts und richte es gerade.” Gustav Steinbrecht

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                  • #49
                    Originally posted by FlashGordon View Post
                    If it is a nice horse that you enjoy riding, why give it up? You will regret it, I am certain. Good horses are hard to come by and if you have one I'd hang onto it and enjoy it, and be grateful the universe sent it your way! Who cares if you guys never light the dressage world on fire, what does it matter in the long run.
                    Ditto. Especially the "good horses are hard to come by" part.
                    Full-time bargain hunter.

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      Life is what happens when you're busy making plans.

                      What I would love to do is be able to show my TWH in NWHA shows that offer the gaited dressage tests. OK I'd like to do that 4-5 times a year, please.

                      Um, yeah, right: There's exactly one show this year thats the bill. And it's a 4 hr drive from here. And it's not until SEPTEMBER! LOL. Eons from now. Just for EVER. Ok to be fair there's one more: just as far away, in May, but with a work conflict. Sob. Gulping, ragged, sobs.

                      Heavens, Whatever CAN I do? What I CAN do is take him to the schooling shows that offer these tests, and I'm happy to say that many do just that, give me a place to go play... I ride to the best of my tiny ability, I pay attention to the notes on the test, watch others ride, see my friends bringing their horses along, gossip with my trainer LOL, all the fun stuff. I can take him to a clinic a year, maybe. I audit clinics here and there, too: but like you there's not much going on around here. So what? He's a devil of a trail horse, too, so off we go to the Smokies.

                      Hey, you chose your place on this rock, just as I did. You can whine and whinge but every day that passes is another day you say oh poor me and another day you wanted and wished and flittered away. Gone. That's it, this ship is going back to port, pronto.

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                      • #51
                        I would look into leasing him out through a reputable dressage trainer. The money you save with him leased take more lessons on the "putzer." Maybe in a year or two you and horse will have improved enough to do it "together."

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          I sympathize completely. While I am in a show and trainer-rich environment (Northern California), and am a competent if not brilliant rider (an ammy, evented through prelim, have done jumpers, etc.), I still feel the frustration. I have a horse of an "off breed" but he is a lovely mover (most people guess he is possibly half-WB. He's not.) I am not overly ambitious, but would like to get to, say 3rd level, before I'm 70 (I'm 65! LOL). But.... I cannot afford to have him in training, I cannot afford more than two lessons a month, etc., etc. I work hard, but he is not an easy horse, and while I'm not in a "he should be" attitude, it IS frustrating to feel that YOU (generic you - which includes ME!) are not able to reach-realize-fulfill (whatever) the horse's potential. Still, as others have pointed out, the horse doesn't care, so I take my two lessons a month, read extensively, beg, borrow and steal videos, take the occasional clinic, and just do my best. *shrug* You do what you can, and again, the horse doesn't care.

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                          • #53
                            Don't buy in to the "timeline." My dressage trainer has a GORGEOUS Dutch mare -- bred her out of her old mare, has Iron Spring Farm bloodlines on both sides and is just drop dead drool worthy. She got her going as a four year old but then life and medical issues and financial issues intervened.

                            The filly is 10 years old now and basically is starting over, so she is GREEN GREEN. So what? She is still gorgeous and because not much was asked of her early in life, she has basically no wear on her body. She has a willing mind and lovely movement and is coming along nicely just training in the backyard. She'll probably still be going when she's 30.

                            Don't stress so much about "should." Just enjoy the horse.
                            Life doesn't have perfect footing.

                            Bloggily entertain yourself with our adventures (and disasters):
                            We Are Flying Solo

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                            • #54
                              Originally posted by Alterrcation View Post
                              I have created a clever Alter so I can vent, I guess.
                              I have a dream horse that is the epitome of what most would ever want for dressage. I look at him everyday and really feel like he should be in a place where he can really live up to what his potential is.
                              I am 100% overwhelmed by how hopeless it it so have a truly nice horse and know that there will be very little progress due to having a low income, living 3 hours from a competent trainer for help, and always riding alone. I am a lower level capable rider. It is not my dream to win in the local schooling shows and be the "queen" of the little local clinics. I have high standards and goals, and now that this horse is at the age where he should be "doing" something, I am faced with the reality that, it is not going to happen. Living out here, everything is so hard. All shows are also 3-6 hours away and it is not a sport for the lower income bracket people. Even if I decided not to show and focus on training, again the distance and expense makes it not a reality.
                              Yes, he does not know he is a "nice" horse and could care less if he ever gets out of Trg Level. But he is a valuable horse and I feel like the RIGHT thing is to sell him to a rider who will be able to be successful and appreciate him. I have another horse I can ride and putz around on and still work on dressage with.
                              Yes it all SOUNDS good, but it will kill me to sell him, I raised him since he was born and I will never have a chance to own a horse of his quality again, I could never afford it. I am his breeder, got lucky with what I ended up with.
                              Has anyone else ever had to make a decision like this? It is very practical, I suppose...

                              I am going to disagree with the first few posters (admit I did not read all replies), because I have most definitely walked in the OP's shoes.

                              I bred a horse who I feel had a real talent for dressage. The plan was to keep this horse for me....but as time went on, I realized I simply don't have the drive to pursue dressage to the level this horse could do.

                              Yeah, the horse could care less - I agree. But I looked at it as a situation where I had a valuble commodity that was being wasted ....and the longer I kept this animal at MY level, the more it was going to lose value.

                              I to had/have another horse who was/is perfectly capable of fullfilling all my needs in dressage or any other sport -- at this stage in my life I really just need a dependable Ford -- the Porche is wasted on me.

                              So I took my time and sold the Porche to someone who cherishes it and knows how to use it. We keep in touch, and I share in this person's joy & love in the animal I bred. Plus, as they move up the levels in sport, I am vindicated as a breeder because I know I produced a talented animal.

                              Plus, that sale gave me some funds to use the Ford to the best of it's ability -- AND mine.

                              I have/had many of the same issues facing me as are facing the OP, so I understand. Lack of funds, age, physical issues, living in a decidely NONE dressage-y area, etc.

                              For me, I am at peace with my decision....but it IS hard to give up on a dream, and I hope the OP will either come to peace with HER decision or keep up the good fight with her dressage journey.

                              Good luck...

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                Well, if you need money, the horse is talented and you think you don't have the time/money/talent to develop it, sure, sell it and get a more "suitable" horse with the cash. But if it's merely, "the horse has such potential......" No. Unless you feel overfaced, keep the *&(&*())% horse and develop it yourself, to the best of YOUR ability. The big caveat is DO YOU NEED THE MONEY? Otherwise, develop the horse yourself and consider yourself fortunate to have a nice horse.

                                HOWEVER, If I may VENT: I think one of the most irrational, to me, statements I ever hear is from people saying something along the lines of "The horse is so talented, I'm holding him back, I must pass him on to someone who can develop his potential." Aaargh!!!! If you are lucky enough to get a talented horse, do your best. The horse will challenge you and you will learn. You will get as far as you get.

                                I remember an article in Practical Horseman where some poor schmuck took her horse to a Bruce Davidson clinic. She learned a lot. She learned how to handle her talented horse better, BUT.....ooooooh, he was talented, he needed to "develop his potential," so she sold him to Davidson. Like Davidson LACKS horses to ride? I believe the end result was father passed the horse on to son, the horse competed a few times, no big wins but competitive, and was never heard from again. Probably passed on to some ammy like his original owner. Really??? The horse NEEDED to develop his potential??

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  I agree with what others have said. Just go out and have fun with your horse. Why put so much weight on shoulda, woulda, coulda? Make him the best darn horse for you. If that means he lives a great life hanging out in the pasture - so what.
                                  Last edited by yankeeclipper; Feb. 16, 2011, 12:32 PM.
                                  \"You have two choices when a defining moment comes along - you can either define the moment, or let the moment define you.\" Tin Cup

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    I am probably looking at it more like a breeder....

                                    But I would like to say that just because the horse might be innately talents in dressage, that doesn't mean the rider can bring this brilliance out. The horse still has to be taught.

                                    And often "brilliant" horses are not an ammie ride anyway.

                                    I agree that if the OP gets great pleasure from just having the horse, then by all means, keep it. However do not expect that animal to hold whatever value it has now as the years go by and it is stuck at Trg. Level or develops various bad habits or holes in it's training which is likely to happen with any beginning ammie (beginning to dressage, I mean) who doesn't have alot of pro help. Or, heaven help her, the horse isn't really trained at all!

                                    The animal will lose value -- you can be sure of it (ask me how I know ); so understand that you ARE paying for this horse whether you know it or not.

                                    If this horse has a market value now of, say $12K, and it's 5 yrs old, then in 5 more years and it's only barely scraping by at Training or 1st Level (because of rider issues, which is the reason MOST horses at the lower levels stall out), the horse will have lost 1/3-1/2 of it's value.

                                    So make no mistake -- you are "paying" to keep this horse unless you plan to keep it for life....

                                    Again, if you are in love with the horse, then it's well worth it, but it's important to make a choice you can live with. Because, just like with anything else, there is a optimum time to sell a horse, and sometimes it's tough to tell when that is....

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      Since you are not showing, if your older horse is a good boy, maybe you could use him to teach some basic riding lessons. A few up-down lessons per week might bring in some extra cash.

                                      Or, since you have a nice barn, could you take on a boarder?

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        Right now I have the epitome of a "should have" horse. She had the talent and brains to be a solid prelim/one-star eventer and ended up with a series of so-so riders with minimal showing ambitions. She is now 15, out of shape, and happy as anything. I hope to have her back training level test 1/2 by April. By almost anyones standards these are very low goals for such a talented horse.
                                        I actually sold this same mare back in 2008 because I felt like she "deserved" a more ambitous rider and that deep down she wanted a life I couldn't give her. Well that persons financial situation changed and 18 months later I got back a thin, wormy, sad horse. That day I realized that she wants a nice green pasture, a fluffy clean stall at night, and someone who knows all of her itchy spots and her favorite treats. Nothing in life is certain, but for now I can promise her that.
                                        If you love this horse don't let it go unless you absolutely have to do so.

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Is it viable to sell him then use the money to:

                                          1. rebreed original sire to dam for another and
                                          2. (in the interim) use the rest of the funds to take some serious (away from home) dressage camp type lessons?

                                          2-3 weeks should make a BIG difference - and once you "get it" you don't "lose it".
                                          Now in Kentucky

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