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Do you get distracked.....annoyed at...

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  • Do you get distracked.....annoyed at...

    When sharing the arena with others while schooling I am easily ditracted by other riders wanting to chit chat, ask..Did you see that...or why does he do that..or how did that look, or feel as though they need to discuss all THEIR incoming calls and texts that THEY accept while riding in the arena. I can't seem to block it out and loose my concentration and get discouraged. Should I ask if the other rider would like to take turns and she ride while I stand in the center and can give comentary and then switch. I really prefer to ride alone but she needs to be in-company because her horse will act up unexpectedly and with NO warning. I don't mind sharing the arena..plenty enough room...and I do want her to be safe, it's just that (I) can't concentrate with all the chatter. BTW, It is her horse and in her arena that I am riding and I am very grateful for that and try to express it not only verbally but show it by farmsitting,leaving the barn, tack and horse clean and cared for ect. Or do I just need to suck it up and work harder on focusing. What do you do to block it out??...or do you call em out??
    "Success comes in cans, not in cannots!"

  • #2
    I'd make a point of chit-chatting with her while you are walking your horse to warm-up, or on a break. Then say something like "It's time for us to get back to work. Let me focus on this for a bit and we can chat again when I give him a breather." You can also add, "If you need help with anything, I can watch you after I finish my trot warm-up (or some such thing)." Then, if she says something while you're working- pretend you don't hear her the first time. If she repeats it, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I must have been concentrating really hard. Give me two minutes to finish what I'm doing and we can talk about it while he takes a breahter. I have trouble focusing on two things at once." She'll catch on.


    • #3
      Here is how I try to handle it. I try to be friendly and chit-chat while loosening up my horse at a walk. After I feel like my horse is warmed up enough to start trot work, I usually say something in a friendly manner like "Ok, to work!", and that is exactly what I do. The rest of the ride is quite active, depending on the level of the horse ranging to just trotting, collected walk, canter to leg-yield, shoulder-in with minimum walk breaks as they are (or will become ) the signal to begin chatting again.

      For me at least, the other person does not feel ignored, but you are able to get whatever you are working on done too.


      • #4
        "I'm really bad at multi-tasking, so if I don't seem to hear you or reply, it's not personal, I'm just focusing on my ride."

        Then tune her out. The way you want your horse to tune out everything but you. If you expect that self-discipline from your horse, then you can expect it from yourself.
        Ring the bells that still can ring
        Forget your perfect offering
        There is a crack in everything
        That's how the light gets in.


        • #5
          Have any goals you haven't told her about yet?

          Or, heck, even tell her it's a resolution for you. I would deal with it OFF the horses - tell her that you've found yourself too absorbed in conversation and not focusing on your horse enough, so you are going to try to keep yourself focused at all times while schooling anything - but will still chit chat during warmup/cooldown/rest walks. Ask her to help you do that - because people love being seen as part of the solution, not part of the problem.

          If you suggest maybe taking turns watching each other, even better - I know *I* would love to have an observer nearly every ride I take to give feedback!
          If Kim Kardashian wants to set up a gofundme to purchase the Wu Tang album from Martin Shkreli, guess what people you DON'T HAVE TO DONATE.


          • #6
            Originally posted by MelantheLLC View Post
            "I'm really bad at multi-tasking, so if I don't seem to hear you or reply, it's not personal, I'm just focusing on my ride."

            Then tune her out. The way you want your horse to tune out everything but you. If you expect that self-discipline from your horse, then you can expect it from yourself.
            Plus I add an ipod. Many of the adult riders at my barn ride with their ipods in while training horses. We can ride together all day long, but we chat when we tack.
            chaque pas est fait ensemble


            • #7
              ... _. ._ .._. .._


              • #8
                I must be lucky. At my barn we'll chat to eachother as we warm up but as soon as speeds reach a trot we all shut up and try to keep away from eachother. lol

                If you want her to give you some space maybe say "I need to use this circle right now to work on -blahblahblah-". There you go, got a third of the arena to yourself. It's pretty much protocol at my barn... if someone is working on a circle no one else gets in that circle.
                Tru : April 14, 1996 - March 14, 2011
                Thank you for everything boy.

                Better View.


                • #9
                  There is a woman at my barn who talks constantly. You can't walk from the crossties to the tack room without her following you. It's truly non-stop. In the arena she just gets louder when you start to work. One time I was on a baby (like 3rd ride) and she was walking along side me yakking away. When I went to trot, she did too and stayed with me. I even commented that she wasn't in the safest place and should go to the other end, she laughed. I have found with her the 'time to go to work' phrase works really well. I just have to say it everyday! 1 girl at the barn actually said, "I don't want to be rude but this is my time with my horse. If you want to talk to me about your life, please call me or email me at home." They haven't spoken in over a year. They are cordial and nod a greeting, but no words are exchanged. The woman who talks too much took it as the other woman is the problem, the one who stood up for her time doesn't care. They get along fine at Christmas parties and things.
                  Do not toy with the dragon, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!


                  • #10
                    Get over it and ride


                    • #11
                      I would go for the "talk while taking a breather" - my dressage schooling is seriously interval training as I find that gets my mare fitter faster. When I am having a lesson, my trainer talks to me through the "WORK" interval but doesnt expect an answer unless I am confused. When she calls "BREATHER" - we walk on a long rein and chat about what we have just done and other things - and then "BACK TO WORK" - I just dont feel an hour or so go by.


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Still Workingonit View Post
                        I would go for the "talk while taking a breather" - my dressage schooling is seriously interval training as I find that gets my mare fitter faster. When I am having a lesson, my trainer talks to me through the "WORK" interval but doesnt expect an answer unless I am confused. When she calls "BREATHER" - we walk on a long rein and chat about what we have just done and other things - and then "BACK TO WORK" - I just dont feel an hour or so go by.
                        see, the thing is, for me that time is crucial too. I've found if I focus on the quality of the walk on the loose rein, to a few lateral steps, really get my horse reaching over his topline and happy groaning, when we pick back up its amazing. If i just fluff around during that time, we pick up where we left off.
                        I think lessons are probably a bit different because you have to communicate back and forth for it to be productive.
                        chaque pas est fait ensemble


                        • #13
                          My response is:

                          "Sorry I can't chat, I'm having a conversation with my horse."
                          "No matter how well you perform there's always somebody of intelligent opinion who thinks it's lousy." - Laurence Olivier


                          • #14
                            Now that is a great response!


                            • Original Poster

                              Thank you all for your great and tactful advice!!! I'll let you know how it goes!!!
                              "Success comes in cans, not in cannots!"