• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Ever fallen in love with a horse not your own?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Ever fallen in love with a horse not your own?

    Update (see post 30)

    I am right now! And it doesn't make sense to me... Curious if anyone else has had similar irrational thoughts?!

    A friend has a horse who she doesn't get to ride much anymore due to anxiety and other time commitments. My trainer works him most of the time. I've never been on him but I LOVE watching him go and I handle him on the ground.

    The other day he nickered at me from his pasture when I got out of my car and it hit me that I am really attached to this horse. I've never even been on him but he is the sweetest, most beautiful horse. Would love to ride him and would probably buy him in a heart beat if he were for sale.

    Anyway, I have two horses and ride a few others (all really nice horses at various levels) a couple times a week. Why do I end up so focused on a horse that I don't own or ride? Anyone else had this same issue? Tell me I'm normal- Would be fun to hear about your experiences!
    Last edited by xrmn002; Apr. 6, 2012, 06:37 PM. Reason: Update - Post 30

  • #2
    The pony that got me into Welsh Cobs was that way for me. I worked him for an outside client for a college class and fell in love with him. I'm able to separate emotion from work, but there was some small piece of me on the other side of the wall that I built up that hoped we'd end up together. He has these huge floating gaits, the most trusting personality, and has all the charm of the Welsh Cob breed. We were a quirky, happy team together, and he was a dream to work with. We would have ended up together, as the client was considering selling him to me, but in the end neither I nor the client would end up with him due to a health issue. He's in a place that I can visit him, but he's not my forever horse. It hurts, but it's for the best. I know exactly what you mean by irrational...I'd take him in a heartbeat if I had the money to care for him, but I don't.
    www.cobjockey.com - Eventing the Welsh Cob


    • #3
      Irrational? Nope.

      Horses aren't books, or cars, or other *things*, they're living beings and we respond to them as such -- as they do to us. It's only natural that we feel for them according to their personalities and interactions with us. And it sounds like you have a real connection with this horse, if he's nickering to you from the pasture as soon as you show up.

      Maybe you should approach the owner or your trainer and let them know you're interested in this horse, either if the owner wants to sell, or perhaps as a partial lease.
      Horse & Dog Designs: Clothing, Home Decor, Custom Gifts, ETC:
      WoofNWhinny*GIFT IDEAS for Horse Lovers!
      Fabric, Shoes, & Nail Art
      Personalized Gifts for Adults, Kids & Babies


      • #4
        Sort of like falling in love with someone else's boy friend. I try to walk away. Its only heart ache. I can admire from afar, but I don't wanna fall in love with someone else's horse.
        Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.


        • #5
          Yes and it is hard when someone elses horse developes a relationship with you.
          Ask and allow, do not demand and force.


          • #6
            Yes, and luckily he became my horse about 6 months later.

            Is there any chance of this friend wanting to sell him and you being able to buy him? If not, I'd say take AnotherRound's suggestion...

            I saw my horse for the first time at a horse trial and my trainer was riding him. I thought he was the most beautiful horse I had ever seen. I had just started riding again, and heard tidbits about him being crazy/difficult/unhappy/hard to deal with. When I started looking for a horse I didn't mention him or suggest looking at him because I wasn't sure he was for sale, and given all I'd heard we would be a horrid match. His owner (who knew she was a mismatch with him, and was therefore riding another horse at the trainer's barn while she kept him at her house) was watching me in a lesson, and at that point knew my general price range and what I was looking for - and suggested I try him. My trainer smiled, thought about it, and lit up - and said "I think you'd be a GREAT match!" Turned out we were. But I was intentionally having nothing to do with him thinking we weren't, even though it was totally love at first sight - once I actually rode him, I would have been absolutely devastated had I not been able to end up with him. (The love at first sight was mutual, too - he apparently used to be awful on the ground, trying to bite and kick, but from the first was a cuddler with me.)
            Originally posted by Silverbridge
            If you get anything on your Facebook feed about who is going to the Olympics in 2012 or guessing the outcome of Bush v Gore please start threads about those, too.


            • #7
              Here's my story (and maybe there will be a happy ending one day!):
              I live here in Germany. I'm riding with a Grand Prix rider that is a friend of a friend and I'm leasing an older Intermediare horse (he's a good boy). I tell my friend/trainer that I want to buy a nice, normal horse one day (my horse in the States is not your average amateur horse... and while I can ride that kind of horse I'm kind of tired of it and want a quiet, normal horse ). So, one night we are watching a bunch of people riding in the indoor and there is her young horse (by her Grand Prix stallion out of an Intermediare level mare) being ridden by a young girl. We comment that he is just too cute and she says how he's always been very positive about life and very happy. Then she says "You need a horse like him!" and I ask "Why not.... him??". This horse, Ronaldinho, is best friends with my lease horse and they go to the paddock together and live in stalls beside each other so I'd already been kissing his nose and giving him cookies before this. So then the love affair begins! I've since ridden him once and while it was rather uneventful and slightly boring because there were too many people in the indoor to do anything- I'm quite certain he has the personality and breeding to be what I want in a horse. My friend is confident that he should be a Grand Prix horse one day as well. So... now I need some money! Anyone want to loan me some???????? I'm already daydreaming about all the wonderful clothes I will buy him and the saddle I will buy him (he's really wide so my saddle is a no-go)... and what colors would look best on him....


              • #8
                Yes. I have.
                And it typically doesn't end well unless you can afford to buy him outright.
                Either keep some reserve between him and you or seek a way to have some control over his destiny.
                Voice of experience: mine ended spectaculary badly.


                • #9
                  A couple of times.
                  Once with a gorgeous Rheinlander mare, when I lived in Germany. I was in no way qualified to ride her and never did but she was my soulmate horse until I left.
                  Then here, fell in love with a trained to GP gelding who was semi-retired to a farm close to me. I ended up being able to ride him whenever I wanted; his owner never plans to sell him and so he is now totally retired at the same farm.
                  Neither one of mine were bad endings. Both horses were well taken care of by their owners and stable owners and I see no reason to discourage such a thing, myself. Just loving a horse doesn't mean you have to own it; if it is in a bad situation, then that is a different matter.


                  • #10
                    yeap love this little foal black and beautiful with plenty of spirit
                    6yrs later
                    shes mine haha now shes 18 and we still love each other and have plenty of fun


                    • #11
                      He was a welsh cob stallion belonging to a nearby stud, so I took my welsh cob mare to him and have his son now, and I'm luckily equally besotted with him


                      • #12
                        Have definitely been there. When I was a working student I was really fond of all (well, most) of the horses I worked with, but one came in for sale that was really it for me. I spent tons of time with him and he would come over to the fence and graze by me while I hung out; there was definitely a mutual attachment. I was SO sad when I moved home and had to leave him - but ended up being given him a few days later, so it all worked out!


                        • #13
                          Yep! His name is Totilas...I believe you know him as well.

                          Other than him, yes their was a grand prix dressage horse called Häagen Dazs that was ridden by David Lackey at the time. He was boarded at the same barn I was and I fell head over hills for him. I found out years later that he had been sold to South America. I was 13 years old at the time.....long long time ago
                          I wonder if he is still alive, anyone know him?
                          Ms Robin
                          Farm Websites & SEO, Low Prices, Barter available!
                          ~No Horses to Slaughter clique~


                          • #14
                            You know the scene in Hannah and Her Sisters, when Diane Wiest and Carrie Fisher meet the architect at a party they are catering, and they have this awkward cab ride home, jockeying to be the one who goes home with him?

                            That's how my friend and I used to horse shop. I would send her a link to a DreamHorse ad I was considering, then she'd get interested in the horse, and we'd go back and forth trying not to get into fights over them. It was very high school!

                            Right now, my horse has quite a few admirers. There is a trainer who loves him and wants to have him in her barn, but I can't afford to keep him with her. His current trainer also loves him but can't afford to buy him. And I have this perfect Romeo but am having some health problems that prevent me from riding.

                            It's like a Victorian novel.
                            2012 goal: learn to ride like a Barn Rat

                            A helmet saved my life.


                            • #15
                              Its fine to fall in love with a horse that belongs to another, as long as you keep it in perspective.You don't want to become a horse stalker! Eventually the attraction becomes less intense and you meet other horses you adore, if you are exposed. Horses are like that- generous spirits that will attach to people they like and are familiar, so they are total enablers.

                              But you have many choices: wait for the attraction to pass, walk away, talk to the present owner about a lease or rehome, or outright offer a fair price and buy him. I've done that. But I also learned that part of the joy in loving horses is... loving horses! Lots of them. I certainly don't want the responsibility of taking care of lots of them so window shopping is just fine.

                              Just like if some handsome sexy young man gives me a one of *those* smiles these days, I sigh inwardly and enjoy the fact that I can experience such nice feelings, without thinking too much about the fact that I would never act on those attraction feelings...or that the guy might actually be thinking I look like his mother or grandma and the smile was totally innocent.

                              Have fun with good feelings and find a way to make the situation work for you.
                              "The Threat of Internet Ignorance: ... we are witnessing the rise of an age of equestrian disinformation, one where a trusting public can graze on nonsense packaged to look like fact."-LRG-AF


                              • #16
                                Yep. Jaime brought Jaeger to me to ride so she could sell him.

                                I rode him through as planned, but no sale'd him, even though she got what she wanted.

                                I paid the RNM commission and gave her what she wanted.

                                He was a son of Jazzin Around, and a gorgeous bay with three gorgeous gaits and a 'point and shoot' jump. And manners. Oh boy. He was run through a fence by a neighbors dog-got stitched in his nose. It was time for the stitches to come out, I walked up to him and pulled them-no halter. I gave birth to my son the next day. THAT's how trustworthy and easy going he was.

                                I sold him after a bad wreck that wasn't his fault (a roll of wire was left in the grass, and it 'chased' him-I came off, head injury, not good) and my family convinced me he was too dangerous. He wasn't, he just had some ghosts in the closet that involved ropes and feet.

                                I regret it every blessed day. Anyone ever runs across a big bay gelding with scar on his nose, and a tat registered to a 1996 gelding name Jagged Edge-let me know. :-(
                                I am not allowed to look at breeding stock.
                                Or babies. Or CANTER, et al.

                                ESPECIALLY not CANTER, et al.


                                • #17
                                  As a trainer, all the time.


                                  • #18

                                    the minute I saw Fuego under the lights at the WEG and he bent down to rub his nose before going in.

                                    Now, my DH says that I may "never, ever buy another gray horse".

                                    I think even he'd make and exception for him.


                                    • #19
                                      I have a few times. Usually a stallion, but the one time I did manage to bring home one she never left

                                      It is rare to see a rider who is truly passionate about the horse and his training, taking a profound interest in dressage with self-abnegation, and making this extraordinarily subtle work one of the dominant motivations of his life.\"


                                      • #20
                                        Currently am riding a friends horse while hes a way for the holidays. Have fallen in love-and I think its mutual. He nickers for me and comes to the gate when he hears my car. He also gets a bit wierd when I go get my own horse out. He has so much personality I've even considered making an offer. We also really fit well together under saddle-he can be quirky and I love that.
                                        Do not toy with the dragon, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!