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  • Oh CS... that's just horrible. Especially because I'm so sure that photo represents a real moment of joy for you.

    It's really a consistent pattern all across the internet that the people most vocal about "haters" and "bullies" online are usually the worst people most prone to that kind of disgusting behavior.
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.

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    • Originally posted by Ceylon Star View Post

      Be careful. I never added him, but NP got his hands on a picture of me getting a pony ride on my pony during my first time on him after he got restarted, and NP used it as an example of "fat ugly women who should not be riding horses" (newsflash: not a woman!) and smeared me on social media. He messaged me from a fake account, claiming to be NP's manager or PR person, trying to get my personal info to "send me a personal apology for Nick's alcohol-induced behaviour", and when I declined he then started attacking me telling me I deserve to be beat and r**ed for "subjecting horses to my fat a** and abusive hands". I'll attach the photo in question to the bottom of this post to show just how ridiculous these accusations were.

      I had never said a negative thing about him, but was friends with someone who was very publicly vocal about how ridiculous he is, and unfortunately he went through her friends list looking for material and, unfortunately, Facebook allows non-friends to see anyone's profile picture and cover photo/header, which is how he got my photo. Sigh.

      He is an extremely toxic and delusional individual and is happy to drag anyone through the mud for any little thing.
      Ironically, in that pic you look to be about the same size NP does in HIS riding pics.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Dee-Vee View Post
        How does this guy find time to hold down a “real” job and support a family?
        He doesn't. The guy changes jobs as often as I change underwear.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by RatWrangler View Post

          Ironically, in that pic you look to be about the same size NP does in HIS riding pics.
          I was heavier there than I am now, but by no means was I too fat to be on him. I'm short (5'6 on a good day) and broad built, and carry most of my weight in my torso.

          But at least I have a quiet and (mostly) independent seat, even with a wrecked leg that has no feeling in it. He is heavy in weight and HEAVY in how he rides. Even an appropriately sized horse is going to be miserable under him.

          The big thing that separates him and I is that I work my rear off to better myself and do best by my pony. I try not to have an ego. He is nothing BUT ego and doesn't think he needs to work on improving anything.

          I pity him, in a way. I have schizophrenia, so I know how hard it is to believe in something SO strongly, even though it is completely and utterly fantastical. It's difficult to have everyone you encounter tell you that what you're experiencing isn't actually real/true. With how deeply delusional he is it must be rough.
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          • Originally posted by Ceylon Star View Post
            I pity him, in a way. I have schizophrenia, so I know how hard it is to believe in something SO strongly, even though it is completely and utterly fantastical. It's difficult to have everyone you encounter tell you that what you're experiencing isn't actually real/true. With how deeply delusional he is it must be rough.
            That's a good outlook to have about people like him. I have an in-law I think of as socially disabled. It makes it a lot easier to deal with when I think of his complete lack of social skills like it's a mental disability that he isn't doing on purpose.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Jenerationx View Post

              That's a good outlook to have about people like him. I have an in-law I think of as socially disabled. It makes it a lot easier to deal with when I think of his complete lack of social skills like it's a mental disability that he isn't doing on purpose.
              Legitimate brain miswiring or not, it's not excuse for his disgusting behaviour and bullying/attacks.
              Curious about Trans* issues? Feel free to ask!
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              • Originally posted by Cardboardoux View Post
                Then WHY didn't he enter her in a class they where ready for?
                Because then he would have had kid entrants to compete against?

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Ceylon Star View Post

                  Legitimate brain miswiring or not, it's not excuse for his disgusting behaviour and bullying/attacks.

                  No, it doesn't excuse the behavior. It just helps a bit to take it less personally when I think of the person lashing out because their brain isn't right and it could be anyone, not just me that they're lashing out at. Like in your case, normal size person on a sturdy looking pony, loose reins, and hey look, your hands aren't messing with your zipper as he is prone to do. What's there to attack? Clearly some bad wiring involved to make someone do that, and nothing to do with the actual picture or you personally. Adorable pony btw!

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Ceylon Star View Post

                    It was a fustercluck and a half. Most of the people he attacked were, in fact, openly mocking him. I actually made an attempt to get my friend whose profile he found me/my photo from to calm down and be less nasty in her comments about him (things like he needed to get kicked in the head, or taken out and shot, etc). She was going way overboard and I privately kept telling her to calm down and be less aggressive in her public comments. I even told "the manager"/NP that I didn't approve of the nastiness being spewed, and to please leave me out of it.

                    He ended up making the fat ugly riders page secret, because people were trying to defend the riders he was slandering, but Facebook gave zero farts and said the page didn't go against their ToS. There was a mole on the secret page for well over a year, who confirmed it was still going and shared screenshots with the group of targeted riders, but I eventually left the group chat where she was sharing the info for my mental health sake.

                    Snarky Rider did a blog post shortly after NP started attacking riders and doxing us (or at least doxing in his half-assed way) where she pointed out why he was misguided about (some of) us being too big or abusive by riding, etc. She was very kind to me, and the post she made was a good one. But the whole situation really messed me up for a while there.
                    He's disgusting,

                    Thank you for recounting your Peronace-bogus story for a bunch more people to understand how inflammatory and bogus he is.

                    I'm sorry you had to deal with this, as far as I knew the page was shut down. But the persistance of the page and your image on it seemingly helped separate the wheat from the chaffe. Thank you despite your pain. I'm so sorry for the pain he caused you. This is why I feel nothing for him. Nothing.
                    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Jenerationx View Post


                      No, it doesn't excuse the behavior. It just helps a bit to take it less personally when I think of the person lashing out because their brain isn't right and it could be anyone, not just me that they're lashing out at. Like in your case, normal size person on a sturdy looking pony, loose reins, and hey look, your hands aren't messing with your zipper as he is prone to do. What's there to attack? Clearly some bad wiring involved to make someone do that, and nothing to do with the actual picture or you personally. Adorable pony btw!
                      Java says thanks for the compliment, and that we look a lot better together these days! He's come a long way from the anxious abused little man, and is loving his new career as a therapeutic riding pony 9 months of the year! On his 3rd year now. Then him and I get to do our own thing during the summer.

                      But the NP thing made me not want to ride for a long time. Almost a year at the time. Then just when I got riding again, I had a freak accident and wrecked my leg, and then felt guilty about trying to ride him with a useless left leg (I have no feeling from the hip down due to nerve damage from the impact) which then kept me from riding regularly for another year. Then I had a coach who told me he was worthless and would never be able to do anything useful, which then led to a period of just random bum-fumbling. Sigh. But we are in a good place now with a coach who helps me ride him in a way that works for him as an individual and doesn't make me feel useless with my bum leg (in fact she has gotten us to where my numb leg is more effective than my feeling leg, by some miracle. Haha), and he spends his weekdays helping people who need him the most. I ride most days either on the lunch break or in the evening when classes are over and the other exercise riders are done, and lesson once a week where we are introducing some 3rd level movements just to keep his cheeky brain engaged instead of looking for ways to cause trouble, haha. We dabble in just about everything though, not just dressage. His favourite thing is driving, actually.

                      But even now, years later, I still sometimes think of the NP crap and how awful he made me feel, and I don't ride for a few days because I worry that maybe there was some merit to his words and maybe I am too big for ponypants. And then I feel stupid for letting myself give him that much credit and I eventually go out and ride again. But it's tough. That sort of nastiness really takes a toll.
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                      • Originally posted by J-Lu View Post

                        He's disgusting,

                        Thank you for recounting your Peronace-bogus story for a bunch more people to understand how inflammatory and bogus he is.

                        I'm sorry you had to deal with this, as far as I knew the page was shut down. But the persistance of the page and your image on it seemingly helped separate the wheat from the chaffe. Thank you despite your pain. I'm so sorry for the pain he caused you. This is why I feel nothing for him. Nothing.
                        Thanks J-Lu.

                        When it disappeared I assumed the shaming page got shut down too, but finding out it simply got set to "secret" was pretty ouch.

                        if being shamed for being fat wasn't hurtful enough, he continued to call me a woman, at one point going so far as to call me a fat [derogatory term for lesbian starting with D] and suggesting I needed to "save a horse and ride a man" instead. Oof.

                        By the end of it all, he had messaged me from 3 different fake accounts under various aliases. It seemed that each time I blocked one, he would just make/use another. It confused and hurt me because I hadn't attacked him in any way, and yet he did a damn good job tearing me down anyway. All because he saw my picture on the friends list of someone who had, in fact, been going after him.

                        Sigh. At least it's in the past now, and at least I am able to share my experiences with those who may not yet have believed the level he was willing to stoop to.

                        I still don't wish ill of him, even after all that. I just wish he would admit to having a disconnect with reality so he could get the help he so desperately needs.
                        Curious about Trans* issues? Feel free to ask!
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                        • Originally posted by Ceylon Star View Post

                          Java says thanks for the compliment, and that we look a lot better together these days! He's come a long way from the anxious abused little man, and is loving his new career as a therapeutic riding pony 9 months of the year! On his 3rd year now. Then him and I get to do our own thing during the summer.

                          But the NP thing made me not want to ride for a long time. Almost a year at the time. Then just when I got riding again, I had a freak accident and wrecked my leg, and then felt guilty about trying to ride him with a useless left leg (I have no feeling from the hip down due to nerve damage from the impact) which then kept me from riding regularly for another year. Then I had a coach who told me he was worthless and would never be able to do anything useful, which then led to a period of just random bum-fumbling. Sigh. But we are in a good place now with a coach who helps me ride him in a way that works for him as an individual and doesn't make me feel useless with my bum leg (in fact she has gotten us to where my numb leg is more effective than my feeling leg, by some miracle. Haha), and he spends his weekdays helping people who need him the most. I ride most days either on the lunch break or in the evening when classes are over and the other exercise riders are done, and lesson once a week where we are introducing some 3rd level movements just to keep his cheeky brain engaged instead of looking for ways to cause trouble, haha. We dabble in just about everything though, not just dressage. His favourite thing is driving, actually.

                          But even now, years later, I still sometimes think of the NP crap and how awful he made me feel, and I don't ride for a few days because I worry that maybe there was some merit to his words and maybe I am too big for ponypants. And then I feel stupid for letting myself give him that much credit and I eventually go out and ride again. But it's tough. That sort of nastiness really takes a toll.
                          That’s exactly why these threads about NP persist, to answer the question from another poster. He’s more than just a liar, a fraud, or a fantasist. He actually seems to be an aggressive, vicious, dangerous human being. He insulted you terribly and he has gone much farther with others in terms of threatening and harassing them.

                          As far as weight and horses, nobody cares more for their pony than you do, but as an overweight rider myself, I completely understand. I worry constantly that I am too heavy for my horse, despite assurances from my trainer and vet. I worry that others will think I’m too heavy for my horse and say something. I worry that I don’t deserve to ride my lovely horse because I’m fat. A COTH poster a few years back told me that nobody of my weight had any right to sit on a horse, ever, and that really stuck with me, even though I know it’s untrue. Words matter. I’m sorry for the damage NP did to you.

                          Comment


                          • I’ll share a photo too so everyone can see my overweight butt on my gorgeous perfect horse

                            Comment


                            • Indeed, the lengths this shamateur will go to in order to hurt others, his level of commitment to it is... well, if he was that committed to a job or actually learning about riding and training, it would be impressive instead of pathetic.
                              That more people who know how this faux trainer/rider operates is a good thing.
                              Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

                              http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Ceylon Star View Post

                                Thanks J-Lu.

                                When it disappeared I assumed the shaming page got shut down too, but finding out it simply got set to "secret" was pretty ouch.

                                if being shamed for being fat wasn't hurtful enough, he continued to call me a woman, at one point going so far as to call me a fat [derogatory term for lesbian starting with D] and suggesting I needed to "save a horse and ride a man" instead. Oof.

                                By the end of it all, he had messaged me from 3 different fake accounts under various aliases. It seemed that each time I blocked one, he would just make/use another. It confused and hurt me because I hadn't attacked him in any way, and yet he did a damn good job tearing me down anyway. All because he saw my picture on the friends list of someone who had, in fact, been going after him.

                                Sigh. At least it's in the past now, and at least I am able to share my experiences with those who may not yet have believed the level he was willing to stoop to.

                                I still don't wish ill of him, even after all that. I just wish he would admit to having a disconnect with reality so he could get the help he so desperately needs.
                                I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles with NP, [edit]. I had assumed his nasty page had been shut down too, dreadful that he made it secret.

                                Please be assured that his horrid opinions had nothing to do with you, but they say an awful lot about him. Very disappointed that SW from DH has chosen to feature him on her page (she's so desperate for clicks and any kind of attention), and that people are cheering him on without really knowing who he is, that'll just puff him up again when he really needed to disappear altogether.

                                You keep doing your thing, you're a hell of a lot happier than he is.
                                Last edited by Moderator 1; Feb. 27, 2020, 10:16 AM.

                                Comment


                                • Wow. Just... wow. Comments like that directed towards anyone is just over the top. I'm sorry anyone had to go through that. I'm glad I don't have any friends that are on his friend list.

                                  Comment


                                  • Originally posted by BigMama1 View Post
                                    I’ll share a photo too so everyone can see my overweight butt on my gorgeous perfect horse
                                    You look absolutely fabulous, as does your beautiful horse. You just keep being you, and let the haters stew in their nasty juices.

                                    EDIT TO ADD: You look amazing, too, Ceylon Star, didn't mean to leave you out! People come in an amazing range of shapes and sizes, none any better or worse than the others. Keep doing what you love! The people who put others down are the most miserable souls on earth, IMO.
                                    Last edited by downen; Jan. 10, 2020, 12:48 PM.
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                                    • Originally posted by downen View Post

                                      You look absolutely fabulous, as does your beautiful horse. You just keep being you, and let the haters stew in their nasty juices.
                                      She’s pretty special. 22 years old and still going stronger than most horses half her age :-)

                                      Comment


                                      • Maybe a bit off topic, but every time this whole thing about overweight riders comes up, I like to refer to the following:

                                        https://www.insiderutah.com/2016/03/16/crockett-dumas/

                                        This horse is probably 14.3 or 15.0 at best. He carried 225 pounds over 900 miles in 2015. Endurance has a heavyweight division which is 211 pounds or heavier. At different times the Tevis Cup (100 miles in one day) required a minimum of 150 or 165 pounds with tack although no requirements are currently in effect.

                                        Or how about reiners? For example, Shawn Flarida, one of the current greats - is no small guy and most reiners are under 15 hands. See pictures: https://www.thegreenshirt.com/

                                        Heavier folks, you are letting people prey on your insecurities to the detriment of your enjoyment. Your horses are fine, you are fine, don't let these yokels into your head. Easier said than done I know, but use whatever mental tricks you need to block those thoughts!

                                        Hugs!!!

                                        PS I am no shrimp but I'll be damned if I will let some cyberbully ruin my favorite hobby.

                                        Comment


                                        • Originally posted by Ceylon Star View Post

                                          Java says thanks for the compliment, and that we look a lot better together these days! He's come a long way from the anxious abused little man, and is loving his new career as a therapeutic riding pony 9 months of the year! On his 3rd year now. Then him and I get to do our own thing during the summer.

                                          But the NP thing made me not want to ride for a long time. Almost a year at the time. Then just when I got riding again, I had a freak accident and wrecked my leg, and then felt guilty about trying to ride him with a useless left leg (I have no feeling from the hip down due to nerve damage from the impact) which then kept me from riding regularly for another year. Then I had a coach who told me he was worthless and would never be able to do anything useful, which then led to a period of just random bum-fumbling. Sigh. But we are in a good place now with a coach who helps me ride him in a way that works for him as an individual and doesn't make me feel useless with my bum leg (in fact she has gotten us to where my numb leg is more effective than my feeling leg, by some miracle. Haha), and he spends his weekdays helping people who need him the most. I ride most days either on the lunch break or in the evening when classes are over and the other exercise riders are done, and lesson once a week where we are introducing some 3rd level movements just to keep his cheeky brain engaged instead of looking for ways to cause trouble, haha. We dabble in just about everything though, not just dressage. His favourite thing is driving, actually.

                                          But even now, years later, I still sometimes think of the NP crap and how awful he made me feel, and I don't ride for a few days because I worry that maybe there was some merit to his words and maybe I am too big for ponypants. And then I feel stupid for letting myself give him that much credit and I eventually go out and ride again. But it's tough. That sort of nastiness really takes a toll.
                                          It is really really awful that someone like NP can get inside your head to this extent. Because he, like SW, is clearly just throwing out the nasties and seeing where they will stick. If it's not about weight then it will be about something else. And he aims ridiculous criticism at top pro riders as well.

                                          NP is just being a typical Mean Girl and saying anything he thinks might hurt. It doesn't have to be true. Once in a while it might accidentally hit a nerve because he hits on something his target is actually sensitive about. That doesn't mean it's true.

                                          No comments from NP should ever be taken seriously. If everything else he says is clearly malicious, untrue, or laughable, what are the odds his comments about you in particular are actually true?

                                          On the other hand I realize the emotional toll from getting exposed to this kind of harassment online. That experience sounds absolutely awful.

                                          Bear in mind that you are already a better rider than NP and a better human being. He has not earned the right to comment on any one else's riding, indeed he has forfeited the right to ever be taken seriously again. As indeed has SW. I mean if they said it was snowing outside I wouldn't believe them unless I checked first.

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