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Buyer etiquette question

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  • Buyer etiquette question

    I've found a filly halfway across the country from me that I like very much. I contacted her owners and initially heard back from them very quickly that she was still available, but that they were traveling and would get in touch with me later. I assumed "traveling" meant "for Thanksgiving."

    When I hadn't heard anything else for a few days, I sent another message essentially asking (politely) if they were home yet. Nope, they're overseas in Germany, and didn't say when they would be back. I feel awful at this point in case I'm wasting their data, send an apology, and don't say anything else.

    It's now been over a week, and I would just like to know when I might expect to hear from them. At this point I've studied all the videos and pictures and am basically ready to purchase her pending a PPE. When can or should I reach back out in a polite way to ask at what point we can start that process? Or should I assume they aren't going to contact me and move on? I very much don't want to be rude, but I'm also trying not to miss this pony.

  • #2
    IIWM, I'd send one last msg asking when you can expect to hear from them, saying you are very interested.
    Are you planning to attend the PPE or will it be setup remotely?
    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
    Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
    Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

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    • Original Poster

      #3
      I would probably have to set it up remotely. I work full-time and am in grad school part-time, which make it hard to travel. Maybe that's a crazy thing to do; I was planning to run the results by my vet for feedback.

      Comment


      • #4
        Who will be suggesting the PPE vet?
        Customary (& safer for Buyer) to have a disinterested 3rd Party - NOT the Seller's vet.
        IIWM, I'd ask Seller for a suggestion contact that vet & take the time off work to be there.
        Unless mare is in the low 5 figures money spent doing this is worth it - IMHO.
        Perhaps a COTHer in the Seller's area can help?
        *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
        Steppin' Out 1988-2004
        Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
        Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

        Comment


        • #5
          They're traveling and told you they will be in touch when they're back in the US. You contacted them a few days later anyway, and they're out of the country.... and a week out you want to bother them again? Reread your first email from them instead of sending them another message.
          If Kim Kardashian wants to set up a gofundme to purchase the Wu Tang album from Martin Shkreli, guess what people you DON'T HAVE TO DONATE.
          -meupatdoes

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          • #6
            OP, I'd look at other horses. If these people were eager to sell, they would have given you more info on when they would be back, when a Ppe could be scheduled, etc.

            it is not to your advantage to send another email. You'll appear very eager and interested and they may have less inclination to negotiate.

            drop off the radar and start looking elsewhere. Turn if they contact you eventually one of two things will happen, either you will have found another horse or will be in a better position to negotiate this one because the sellers dropped the ball for a time.

            Comment


            • #7
              Buying remotely is so frustrating. A few years ago when I was looking, I'd either hear back right away or not for weeks - if ever. When I was the seller, I'd get back to everyone within a few hours. Even those I suspected were tire kickers or who started out their contact with "I know your horse is out of my budget, but I have a few questions".

              Most buyers want promptness (as I did)! I was amazed at how many breeding and/or sales farms NEVER responded to an email or phone call - even when I had a personal referral from another buyer. OP: I'd look elsewhere in this case, although it's frustrating when you've seen a horse you think would suit you!
              Savor those rides where you feel like a million bucks, because there will be those where you feel like a cheap date...

              Comment


              • #8
                I wouldn't worry about wasting their data. Thats up to them. It's possible pony has been for sale for ages and they had an urgent reason to travel.

                I would send one more message saying:

                I remain very interested based on what I see online. I will have some time off over Christmas. If you are back in the next few weeks, perhpwd we can discuss this further. Do you have an estimated time to return, or an agent in the US handling your sale?

                Then keep looking.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I can barely answer emails when I am traveling. Seems the business that made me travel takes up all my time -- evenings, too. So the fact that you haven't gotten a response wouldn't dissuade me.

                  Also, it is possible that owner is waaay behind in emails and when they scroll off the page they inadvertently get forgotten.

                  Lastly, I don't mind if the owner knows I am very interested in their horse -- if I were selling, I would feel best about selling to someone who really liked my horse. (perhaps a long time breeder thinks it is all business, I dunno)

                  I like Scribbler's suggested email and advice, but if no answer, I would still email again in a couple weeks, lol!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I like Scribbler's wording.

                    It is possible they are travelling for family emergency or something, and have little time to answer emails, and may not even know when they will be returning.
                    "So relax! Let's have some fun out here! This game's fun, OK? Fun goddamnit." Crash Davis; Bull Durham

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If they said they would get back to you, then wait.

                      If it was left vague, I'd say something like "So sorry to bother you while you're traveling. Please give me a call when you return so we can discuss my last few questions about Pookie. I remain very interested, and plan to purchase based on video and prepurchase results given my hectic schedule."

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #12
                        Thanks, everyone! I'm thinking this Pookie may not be for me since she is so far away. If they get back to me, great, but there are some super ones that aren't 15 hours away.

                        Horse shopping is so frustrating

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by SnicklefritzG View Post
                          OP, I'd look at other horses. If these people were eager to sell, they would have given you more info on when they would be back, when a Ppe could be scheduled, etc.

                          it is not to your advantage to send another email. You'll appear very eager and interested and they may have less inclination to negotiate.

                          drop off the radar and start looking elsewhere. Turn if they contact you eventually one of two things will happen, either you will have found another horse or will be in a better position to negotiate this one because the sellers dropped the ball for a time.
                          This is excellent advice. It's hard to be rational when you think you may have found The One. It was wise of the OP to post here and get some sane advice. It's even wiser of the OP to have listened. Good luck with your search!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I just sold one across the country. Especially if buying based on pictures and video, I think it is important to have good communication between buyer and seller.

                            I feel like they are not trying very hard to sell this horse, or they would have given you more info. Either about the horse or about their estimated time if return. I would keep looking, and if they do happen to get back to you, and you haven't found a horse yet, then you could move forward with the sale.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hey at least they got back to you. In my recent searches I have one horse I adore whose ad is EVERYwhere, and the seller won't respond to calls, emails, or messages via the sales site. I just have to assume she's sold... and I'm flying to her area next weekend to look at sales horses.... wistfully passing her barn...

                              Then there's the seller local to me who I emailed and called. No reply. Then the sales ad got renewed recently!

                              I was aghasted. Come to find out a mutual acquaintance may have had a falling out w seller... and I mentioned acquaintance's name in my VM. Am now tarred w same brush, it seems. GAH.

                              So yah: seller that replies - that's basically the crystal slipper right there, Cinderella!

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by Xanthoria View Post
                                Hey at least they got back to you. In my recent searches I have one horse I adore whose ad is EVERYwhere, and the seller won't respond to calls, emails, or messages via the sales site. I just have to assume she's sold... and I'm flying to her area next weekend to look at sales horses.... wistfully passing her barn...
                                Pro tip: if the ad is EVERYwhere, I'd wonder why. Nobody works that hard to sell a perfect horse. Last horse I saw advertised like that was disclosed to have already had neck injections at age 5 and behavioral issues that the ad never even hinted at. "Ammy friendly!" Yes, but what KIND of ammy? Hmmm? But that's just the most prominent example in my mind. I've seen it over and over again (in horses and in dogs).

                                So count yourself lucky that those people haven't gotten back to you.


                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Where is this Pookie? Someone could check her out for you. It may be complicated because they are out of the country, or they may not be very interested. It is frustrating when you find something and you are ready to buy and you don't hear back.

                                  And don't feel bad for wasting their data. They should have someone handling their sales in the country if they are serious or the business is paying for their data. No worries there.

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