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It Would Have Polite to Keep the Vitriol to PMs

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  • It Would Have Polite to Keep the Vitriol to PMs

    Last edited by ProzacPuppy; Jul. 9, 2010, 09:26 AM. Reason: Per Posters I am Destroying my kids' lives - or went off topic immed.

  • #2
    I would think that cleaning a neglected place could be a character building experience, especially if it is done to achieve a goal she is striving for, caring for the horse at home.

    I hope that your daughter can still ride with friends, something that is much harder to do when you have horses at home.
    That may be in the end a deal breaker.
    She will learn much with horses at home, then she may lose interest without peers to enjoy the horses with.

    You know your daughter best, her depth of motivation, her stick-with-it character, or lack of it, what the rest of the family needs, so it is your decision what is best for all of you.


    • #3
      Just a lease, not purchase? If so, I'd go with the nicer house. I hate mobile homes and I can't imagine living in one that's 30 years old. For awhile we lived in one that was probably 5-6 years old. It was very cheaply built and hard to heat and cool (and we didn't even pay the utilities- it was free housing on a dairy farm that DH worked on). Because they don't have a proper foundation, it's also a PITA to keep bug and rodent free. They're also a tornado magnet! I can deal with a lot of stuff as far as houses go (think old farmhouse), but old mobile home- no thanks! If it were a purchase I'd deal with the MH just long enough to build a house.


      • #4
        Well, what does daughter say? Does she get input into her living situation?

        I'd skew towards a decent place for the horses, but not so far that I'd be willing to live in a 30 yr old mobile home. But perhaps your daughter is.

        How about looking for a cheaper boarding situation, is that an option?
        Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia


        • #5
          My question would be...define "poor condition." I wouldn't lease, never mind buy, unless I was allowed to have a professional inspection done. My gut says rent it and deal, but not if it's less a matter of having some ratty carpet torn out and using or replacing twenty-year-old appliances than it is of having sketchy wiring and black mold. Not to mention water-quality issues (is it on a well? Septic field?) Out of date and needing a facelift is one thing, massive overhaul and dangerous conditions are something else.
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          • #6
            I lived in a series of horrid apartments and houses while in college in Upstate NY. One place my toilet used to freeze over in the coldest weather. I had to chuck my shampoo by the drain so that I could thaw out a blob to get on my hand to wash my hair--by the time I was done soaping up and rinsing, the shampoo would be ready.

            I found it very worth it because I was able to keep my horse and go to school. They lived a lot better than me for a good number of years. :-0 I would be more willing to live in a dump than put my horses in one.


            Is there riding room at the 2 acre place? Is there a sacrifice lot so they can be out often, even if it is a small space? Horses can adjust to a lot of situations with good management as long as the facility is safe for them.


            • #7
              is she really aware of and willing to do work involved with keeping horses herself? there is alot of drudgery involved -- plus, you need to consider startup costs for necessary equipment

              similar to EIRide I lived in a garage apt while in college that got so cold one winter (in Houston mind you) that there was ice on the INSIDE of the window
              Nothing says "I love you" like a tractor. (Clydejumper)

              The reports states, “Elizabeth reported that she accidently put down this pony, ........, at the show.”


              • #8
                If your daughter cannot stand the existing mobile home, is it an option to put a mobile home there yourself? Even if you do buy the property, you still need a place to stay in while the house is being built.


                • #9
                  Ick. No to the mobile home. No no no. Sorry. Especially one that old. I lived in one at college that was 18 years old and decently kept up, some tears in the linoleum that I covered with a runner, stains in the carpet, etc. Even with me being fastidious about cleaning, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming all the time, keeping it clean clean clean, it never looked better than it was. And BUGS, oy. I sold it at a loss when I moved, despite sinking money into it on improvements (paint, new floors, new outlets because the old ones were bad and one melted my dryer cord!, removed sagging doors...).

                  Sorry. If moving from the boarding situation saves $1000/month, that can go towards some hay if the two acres isn't enough. But no, no trailer. Horrible. Very sad for me because it was like "wow, this is the best I can afford and it's horrible." I'll never be able to live in one again.
                  COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                  "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


                  • #10
                    I was thinking along the lines Gloria was thinking . . . can you arrange to have a nicer/newer mobile home on the nicer property? Or a modular home? Wouldn't be free, but might work out financially if the move would otherwise save $1K/month.

                    You could even consider renting the older mobile home for a bit of extra income, but that might not be kosher with the property owners, and being a landlord/renter is always dicey, particularly if the rent is low.
                    Click here before you buy.


                    • #11
                      If daughter wants more riding time, it doesnt sound like this will do it. All the work involved in buying supplies and caring for the place and horses will eat up a LOT of her time. Not to mention trying to live in the hovel of a MH. Hard to see how moving her and horses there is going to work out better than her living rent-free and boarding horses. Maybe she needs to find cheaper board. I would be very hesistant to have her take on a fixer-upper farmette when she is not even living on her own now!


                      • #12
                        30 years is pretty much the end of lifespan for most single wides according to our local mobile home dealer.

                        The roofs tend to fail, and even if it doesn't leak inside, it may be leaking down into the walls, leading to mold problems. Plus, how cold does it get where you are? Nothing worse than a cold mobile in winter. Space heaters won't cut it and they are expensive to run! ( cost us over $100 a month to heat a 400 sq ft insulated mobile in winter with electric space heaters).

                        Having done it both ways, 2 acres is plenty of space to keep 2 horses if you are buying supplemental hay and feed, and the nicer, larger, probably warmer house, will be worth it. yes the lovely land is pretty and wonderful, but won't keep you warm in the cold weather.

                        If you do decide on the mobile, get the home inspector to do an inside air quality test. That can detect the black mold spores if they are there. Around here, some landlords won't allow such a test to be done, because if it comes back positive, the place gets condemned until a very expensive mold removal program is done.
                        "The Threat of Internet Ignorance: ... we are witnessing the rise of an age of equestrian disinformation, one where a trusting public can graze on nonsense packaged to look like fact."-LRG-AF


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ProzacPuppy
                          It is over 8 acres with pond, huge pecan trees.
                          There is enough grazing to support a dozen horses.
                          I don't know where you are, but it is highly unlikely that 8 acres (and not all of it is pasture) is enough grazing to support 12 horses.

                          In most of the east coast, the rule of thumb is 1.5 to 2 acres of pasture per horse if the grazing is to "support" the horse from April to October (rather than just providing entertainment without nutrition).

                          chief feeder and mucker for Music, Spy, Belle and Tiara. Someone else is now feeding and mucking for Chief and Brain (both foxhunting now).


                          • #14
                            Passadena on the MH. I have seen how people live in old ones with questionable upkeep. I have seen 100 yo houses with questionable upkeep and no central heat and air, the house won hands down...

                            Around here you can have tons of trailers 'preowned' for reasonable, heck a camping trailer is to be preferred over an old one like that.

                            Unless the owner is willing to put a newer one up, DD will HATE the place, when there isn't a warm spot in the whole place other than the bed, or a cold one (actually window A/Cs are pretty good) other than the fridge...


                            • #15
                              Could DD move home w/Mom & Dad and keep horses boarded? Everyone saves money. DD saves her salary to add to downpayment on property or on the boarding?

                              Her work is downtown? Can she Park and Ride? Cheaper land is up 45 through Willis and New Caney, up 59 through Cleveland and Shepherd (more flooding that way than 45). Park and Riding makes the commute more tolerable.

                              I think the mobile home sounds like an adventure and might be so much fun.
                              But I walked to school in snow and I don't have granite counters.

                              Can she handle it for a year? That would be 12K - substantial $$.


                              • #16
                                What if daughter moves to a different apartment with lower rent? Can it be closer to work/barn so she will have less commuting time?

                                Having the horses at home is hard work and not conducive to more riding time.

                                That mobile home sounds awful, I wouldn't live there.
                                2 acres is awfully small to have a house, pasture, and room to ride.


                                • #17
                                  I think you are being way too generous to pay $1,500 a month for her hobby because you are "too difficult".
                                  I can understand why dad is telling her to sell the horses.

                                  Can't you have a family sit down and figure out why exactly she if finding you/your husband are "difficult". Can you as a family work through these issues.
                                  I have seen where the adult child has been living on their own for a few years. They move home to save money for a house down payment.
                                  Parents go right back to the rules from when the child was in high school, such as curfew, grilling them on where they are going, when they will be home, parents stay up until child gets home at night. Picking on them about how they dress, what they eat, their body piercings etc...

                                  Maybe it is time for everybody to compromise a little bit. DD bites the bullet and moves home. Mom & Dad make sure they are sensitive to the fact that DD is an Adult and is now used to the freedom of living on her own. DD starts paying towards her horses.
                                  Maybe DD means being difficult is that she isn't allowed to leave her dirty dishes on the table for you or DH to clean up or that she isn't allowed to have have loud wild parties at the house every weekend. If that is the case then I have no suggestions.

                                  Its sounds like at this point the only one compromising is you and your husband. You are spending your hard earned money for your adult daughter hobby so that she can board her horses in what soundls like a pretty expensive facility and live in a pretty expensive really posh condo.

                                  I have made many sacrifices to have my horses but moving into a 30 year old moble home would not have been one of them.
                                  Also if the renter is paying utilities on the MH then that $1,000 per month savings may be eaten up in utilities.

                                  I also find that doing self-care or keeping them at home, especially the first year, there isn't quite the savings that I imagined.
                                  Simple things such as needing to buy a wheelbarrow, shavings/pitch fork, muck tub, water buckets, grain bins/trash cans, water trough. Depending on the type of barn the horses are currently at may keep things like ACE, banamine, other first aid stuff that DD now may need to purchase to have on hand.

                                  Generally I have found that when I price out hay and grain and other expected monthly upkeep items there isn't that much of a savings compared to boarding at a basic barn.
                                  Many times a big boarding barn can get better hay, grain, shavings prices since they can purchase in bulk or directly from the field.
                                  If you don't own a truck will you pay for delivery of hay on top of the hay price.
                                  Does the lease fee include the mowing of the fields? If not, do you have a tractor to do it. Do you have to pay for manure pile removal or can it be left to compost? What about basic horse wear & tear repairs- who pays for those? (Broken stall boards, fencing repair) Does DD already own a comprehensive tool box to be able to do these repairs or is that another expense?

                                  I also find I have known a few people that move their horses home and don't ride as much since they are too tired after working all day and then coming home to barn chores. They wind up with not realizing the savings they expected and ride less than expected. Maybe being able to look out their window and see their horses in their yard makes up for that. Most of the time they just seem too stressed to really appreciate that.

                                  I don't mean to come across as harsh in the first part of my post but IMO DD is taking advantage of you and your husband's generosity in paying quite a bit of money to board her horses. I only know what you have written and maybe there are things I don't know that would change that perception.
                                  Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community. (Tidy Rabbit)


                                  • #18
                                    how about something like this

                                    nothing little house but daughter could live in now and you and hubby could build what you want later
                                    Nothing says "I love you" like a tractor. (Clydejumper)

                                    The reports states, “Elizabeth reported that she accidently put down this pony, ........, at the show.”


                                    • #19
                                      or this
                                      Nothing says "I love you" like a tractor. (Clydejumper)

                                      The reports states, “Elizabeth reported that she accidently put down this pony, ........, at the show.”


                                      • #20
                                        Nothing says "I love you" like a tractor. (Clydejumper)

                                        The reports states, “Elizabeth reported that she accidently put down this pony, ........, at the show.”