• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

How would you approach neighbor?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How would you approach neighbor?

    We just moved last Feb. Little bit of a weird situation... our house was part of a larger 110 acre piece with another house, barns, farming operation, etc. The couple who built our house were older and have farmed about 400+acres around us for the past 70+ years. Older man passed away- wife went into nursing home and later passed away. Son (in his mid-50's I'd say) moved into the house with all of the farming "stuff" and took over ownership of ALL the buildings, acreage, etc. Our house was parceled off with 5 acres. The thing is, we would LOVE to buy more land one day. We don't want to be presumptuous and assume that he WOULD sell us another 5 acres, but how would you approach maybe throwing out the idea?

    It's one of those things where if we could be another 5 acres, we would probably be happy making it a "forever home". If not, we can see ourselves here 10 or so years then moving closer to civilization. Neighbor has been a bit fatherly towards us and friendly. I'm sure it's weird, but nice that we are nice people living in their parents' home. He comes over and chats with DH and does occasional favors for us transplanted city-folk. He took one look at DH's weeny riding lawnmower when we moved in and said "you're not from the country are you?" So... would you just wait for it to casually come up come springtime when we're all outside again and throw a hint in there? Or would you flat out ask? I know I'm over thinking it, but I don't want to do anything to offend him or weird him out or something. Basically, if this was you with the land, would you think it was weird that I was asking you this?

  • #2
    Originally posted by dmalbone View Post
    The thing is, we would LOVE to buy more land one day.
    If you are ready and willing to buy 5 acres now, I would talk to the neighbor. Let him know that is something you would love to do, and ask if he would consider it.

    If it something you are dreaming about doing someday in the future with no specific date, plan or budget I really don't see the point in bringing it up at all.
    Auventera Two:Some women would eat their own offspring if they had some dipping sauce.
    Serious Leigh: it sounds like her drama llama should be an old schoolmaster by now.

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      #3
      Yeah... I see what you mean. I guess, no, we're not ready to do it right now, but in about a year maybe. Will it make any immediate difference in our plans? No way, our house is still brand new to us even after almost a year! Our barn's not even done yet. I guess it seemed like I didn't know if I should "plant a seed" in his mind or not. Never know what they're planning... I guess they could be planning as we speak to sell it to Joe Schmo developer to put a subdivision in and we'd never know until the signs went up. In THAT case, I'm sure there would be a way we could manage something.

      Comment


      • #4
        I agree that if you can work something out in the near future, it's worth mentioning. I wouldn't stress about how to ask - pretend it's a horse that neighbor has that you are interested in. As in.. Have you ever thought about selling off some of your land? Don't worry about it, really. It's not a big deal to ask. If he's not interested, he won't be offended.

        Jill

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          #5
          Thanks, I know I was over thinking it. It just seems weird honestly to be living in his parents house with him next door. We're outside in the summer redoing landscaping, painting, etc., he's in his yard, and I'm wondering if it's weird for him that I'm changing what was partially his childhood home. I guess it's because of stuff like that that I'm over thinking it and worried about offending him. I'll lighten up and just let things play out.

          Comment


          • #6
            Agreed, if you aren't the position to purchase the extra acreage right now, I'd not make a specific trip to his house to broach the subject.
            Wait until spring when you're bound to run into each other and then during the course of the conversation mention something like, "If you're ever willing to part with another 5 acres or so of land, we'd be interested. We like living here and the neighbors."
            Country folk aren't normally put off by conversations like this. I doubt if he's been friendly and helpful he'd be upset by a comment like that.
            You jump in the saddle,
            Hold onto the bridle!
            Jump in the line!
            ...Belefonte

            Comment


            • #7
              I would tell him the next time you see him that if he ever wants to sell of 5 acres that you would be interested in buying, but that you can't afford it for a year or so. I doubt he would be offended, and if he says he isn't interested then drop it. However, if you don't say anything and he sells to some developer you'll probably end up in subdivision hell, and have to move. Plus, if you never mention it to him and he does sell someday it would be good if he knew you wanted the acreage-after all if you don't tell him how is he supposed to know? I don't see the harm in just mentioning it-maybe when you take the cookie plate over this week or some other friendly gesture.
              You can't fix stupid-Ron White

              Comment


              • #8
                I agree with the others who said to mention buying the extra acreage next time you see him. As you said, you never know what he may be thinking of doing with the land and it is a good thing to plant the seed. I highly doubt he will be offended.

                Around here there are certain neighborhoods that people really want to live in and many houses change hands without realtors being involved because of the people just stopping by and knocking on the door. Sometimes the sale happens quickly, sometimes years later, sometimes never. In fact, my neighbor always jokes about hoping for that knock on the door - they have yet another wedding to pay for!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Just a practical ?:

                  Can you handle another 5 acres? Do you have a big tractor now?
                  “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #10
                    Originally posted by JohnDeere View Post
                    Just a practical ?:

                    Can you handle another 5 acres? Do you have a big tractor now?
                    Nope, not right now which is part of the reason we really couldn't do it asap. We have 5, half is pasture and the two horses will keep that taken care of fairly well, the other half is not a big deal to mow, but 5 more would mean a tractor. It's currently farmed and I honestly have NO idea what we would need to do to get it back to grazeable (is that a word lol) pasture for the horses.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Right now, just be a great neighbor.

                      During the holidays, bring him over a bottle of wine or something you baked, whatever.

                      Hang out a little bit and admire the farm his parents built. Let him tell you stories about it or listen to what he has to say. That may tell you a lot about how he feels about the farm, your living in the original house, etc..

                      When the time is right to broach the subject, you'll know. He may really enjoy the idea of having someone keep at least part of the farm a farm. Or he may find the whole thing a burden.

                      Since you will continue to be neighbors for a very long time if he sells those five acres to you, give him time to get to know you as people he wants around.
                      The armchair saddler
                      Politically Pro-Cat

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I got another 5 acres for my farm by just mentioning to the neighbor if he ever wanted to sell his piece, I'd be interested. It took several years to occur, but when he was ready he gave me a call.
                        Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #13
                          Thanks for all the great advice! I was going to bring them over a batch of cookies this week regardless, so I'll just try and get closer with them. They're very nice people and we'd love to get to know them more regardless. I'll just feel him out and play it by ear. He's always out in the spring and summer so I'll just keep it casual.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by mvp View Post
                            Right now, just be a great neighbor.

                            During the holidays, bring him over a bottle of wine or something you baked, whatever.

                            Hang out a little bit and admire the farm his parents built. Let him tell you stories about it or listen to what he has to say. That may tell you a lot about how he feels about the farm, your living in the original house, etc..

                            When the time is right to broach the subject, you'll know. He may really enjoy the idea of having someone keep at least part of the farm a farm. Or he may find the whole thing a burden.

                            Since you will continue to be neighbors for a very long time if he sells those five acres to you, give him time to get to know you as people he wants around.
                            I really agree with everything mvp said.

                            I am older than your neighbor. My 40-something brother still owns our grandparents' small dairy farm and I currently live on 23 acres of someone's farm (who have passed) that was loved and cared for.

                            You will know the "right and respectful moment" to ask the question

                            Comment

                            • Original Poster

                              #15
                              Originally posted by walkinthewalk View Post

                              "right and respectful moment"
                              You hit the nail on the head. Thank you- I really want to approach it respectfully since this is the farm that his father started (or continued?) and has family history.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                And maybe if he agreed to sell it to you, you could lease it back for him to use until the day comes that you feel ready to take it over.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Great advice already, particularly about picking the right moment and approaching the topic in a respectful manner.

                                  I just thought I'd share our experience in making a similar proposal to our elderly neighbors. Just while chatting over the fence one day about gardening and growing grass and what-not, I casually said something like: "Don't know if you'd ever thought about this, but if you WERE to become interested in leasing or selling some of your unused land, Mr. CH and I may very well be interested in expanding our pasture. If you don't mind, please keep us in mind."

                                  It was very well-received and, in fact, Mr. CH reports that Mr. Neighbor mentioned to him this week that they were thinking about leasing 5 or so acres. So maybe a "if you ever were to think of selling, will you think of us first" approach, you might get a similar positive reaction, particularly if you were willing to make some concessions for his needs.
                                  Equinox Equine Massage

                                  In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me invincible summer.
                                  -Albert Camus

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    All great advice. We bought our 200 acre farm after a good five years of cultivating our neighbors. We always brought them Christmas goodies, and I helped them hay one year for free (that was an education, and paid dividends for years later). Our line was "We hope you never sell, but if you ever do, please let us know, we would be very interested in talking to you." And when they were ready, they let us know and we ended up buying the farm without it ever being put on the market.

                                    We each got appraisals, and luckily they came in exactly the same. And then we paid 20% over the appraised value after much negotiating.

                                    Good luck!
                                    https://www.facebook.com/SugarMapleFarm
                                    Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/peonyvodka/
                                    www.PeonyVodka.com

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      It sounds like you have a nice releationship established with the
                                      neighbor so I would just ask. "Hey would you be interested in selling
                                      us another five acres.?" you will never know untill you ask.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        I second the "If you eve think of selling, think of us" approach -- but be prepared for nothing to ever come of it.

                                        People get old and forget. People get sidetracked by tempting offers from other quarters. People die and nobody in charge knows/remembers interest in buying was expressed.

                                        Comment

                                        Working...
                                        X