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Goats are not cute. I used to think so.

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  • Goats are not cute. I used to think so.

    I have goats. I'm not sure why. I guess it's because I'm a glutton for punishment. They've been hell to keep fenced in (you should see their pasture, it looks like I'm keeping velociraptors in there), they pester the hell out of each other, and worse still, neither of them are pregnant, so I won't have any milk this spring.

    So, today, I'm cleaning out their feed trough, which is about at chest height, because devil-spawn goat #1 has been sleeping in it (and also pooping in it). Since I don't want to dump clean feed on goat poop, I go into the stall to clean it out. At this point, goat #2 is NOT standing in the feeder.

    I turn around, get goat feed, and stick my hand containing the scoop and feed through the goat feed hole in the stall wall. At this point, goat #2 all of a sudden is now standing in the feeder. Since idiot me doesn't look before I stick my hand in the goat hole, I neglect to realize that there is no room for goat #1's head, goat #2's head and body, and feed scoop. As I attempt to withdraw said feed scoop goat #2 shoves her head through the hole from the inside and traps my hand.

    Problem: When my hand and the goat's head are in the hole, the only way for the goat's head to get back out of the hole is for said goat to completely crush my hand.

    I now can't lift hay nor buckets with my left hand.

    Why did I think they were cute?? Argh! Anyone else have these devil-spawn?

  • #2
    They're only cute at other people's farms.
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    • #3
      I don't know why you thought they were cute but I am wondering why you bother feeding them. I haven't fed my goat once in the 12 years I have had her (how long do those freaking things live anyway?) and she is so fat she waddles. People tell me to cut down on what I feed her but its hard to cut down on nothing.
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      • #4
        Originally posted by OneGrayPony View Post
        (you should see their pasture, it looks like I'm keeping velociraptors in there),
        Originally posted by barka.lounger
        u get big old crop and bust that nags ass the next time it even slow down.

        we see u in gp ring in no time.


        • #5
          Originally posted by FatCatFarm View Post
          They're only cute at other people's farms.
          Agreed! After working at a farm that raised goats, I will never ever own one!
          "People ask me 'will I remember them if I make it'. I ask them 'will you remember me if I don't?'"


          • #6
            Hubby suggested a goat instead of a second horse as a companion to our other horse.
            Erm...no thanks.
            He changed his mind when I explained what keeping (or trying to keep) goats is like:
            You jump in the saddle,
            Hold onto the bridle!
            Jump in the line!


            • #7
              Um... Hellooooo????

              Why do you think SATAN is usually depicted with goat horns and goat eyes???


              InnisFailte Pinto Sporthorses & Coloured Cobs

              Bits are like cats, what's one more? (Petstorejunkie)


              • #8
                I was cured of wanting goats when I worked at a farm that had a petting zoo, complete with goat that would get out no matter what you did. One of his favorite past times was to stand on the picnic table while the camp kids tried to eat lunch.

                My friend has those little goats that get stiff when they get excited or worried or something. They do not jump out anywhere, but they will climb through gates if they can.


                • Original Poster

                  I don't know why you thought they were cute but I am wondering why you bother feeding them.
                  I had goats as a kid. Apparently I was feeling like recapturing my youth and conveniently forgot many things about them.
                  Like the fact that they assess your pasture with those weird little eyes and will be out of it before you can even close the gate.

                  Feeding them is an interesting story. My mother loves said goats. My mother made our goats into the fattest creatures on the planet. These are dairy goats, so they are naturally meant to look a little spindly, you know, all that "fat" is supposed to go into the milk.

                  My mother is convinced that we are starving said goats, despite the fact that between the two of them they get 3 quarts of grain per day, and two flakes of nice timothy and alfalfa hay. And no, neither are milking.

                  Now I have fatter devilspawn goats. I've been tempted to give my mother the goats, but she refuses. She just feels "sorry" for them. I would add that this is also the woman that made the barn cats so fat that they not only could barely walk, but they were totally useless at their intended purpose (vermin control).

                  The funniest thing about it? She's a life-long ethical vegetarian. So now I have fat goats that aren't even edible!


                  • #10
                    Too funny!! (Sorry, probably not for you)
                    So, what happened? Did you lose a hand, or are you & the goat still stuck in the feed hole?

                    ETA - oops missed the last sentence in your post 'cause I was still laughing (at your story, not at you ). Sorry to hear about your hand!
                    Last edited by Serendipity; Dec. 15, 2009, 11:50 PM.


                    • #11
                      My friend related to me this conversation that she had with another friend. Said friend also had a devil-spawn goat, I don't remember how old but she had had it for quite some time:

                      My friend: "How long do goats live, anyway?"

                      Her friend: "I ask myself that EVERY DAY."


                      Adams Equine Wellness


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by FatCatFarm View Post
                        They're only cute at other people's farms.
                        My opinion.... not even then.

                        I didn't think I would ever meet a type of animal I didn't like. That changed with goats. I really can't stand the things and keep threatening to steal a friends goat and dump it in the yard of a nice Jamaican family in her area. They raise goats to make fine dishes like goat curry and goat jerky.
                        Sometimes I just think funny things - Dudley Moore in Arthur
                        Come join us at - TheMuckBucket


                        • #13
                          ROFL -- not at you ! But can totally picture that scene!

                          Never dealt with goats... lots of sheep and bottle lambs but no goats really. My friend from college had a few and remember talking to her on MSN and her saying "Be right back the goat is on the kitchen table!" :S :O

                          A Wandering Albertan - NEW Africa travel blog!


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by pintopiaffe View Post
                            Um... Hellooooo????

                            Why do you think SATAN is usually depicted with goat horns and goat eyes???


                            OMG! You owe me a new computer screen! Or at least some Windex. That was seriously funny!

                            I HATE goats. Yes, hate them. Horrible creatures. I have owned my last goats. I don't care how many weeds and blackberries they eat, that's why God made TRACTORS with BRUSH HOGS for Pete's sake!!!!
                            Family Partners Welsh Ponies - Home of Section B Welsh stallion *Wedderlie Mardi Gras LOM/AOE http://www.welshponies.com
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                            • #15
                              And then there are the goats you don't even own, yet wind up rescuing.

                              Go out to feed/tend my mares at the self-care farm where we board. Neighbor has 3 goats: Snow, Brownie & Barley. Barley goat (a wee alpine) just HAD to stick his head, replete with uber long horns, through the hogwire fence to reach the privet hedge on our side. Naturally, once he grazed it all gone, he wanted to move on down the fence. Alas, horns get stuck in those wire squares and the owners are NEVER home.

                              Enter me...pushing overly full wheelbarrow full o'poop out to the pile. Beh-eh-eh-eh goes Barley, pitifully, cocking his head sideways to look up at me equally as pitifully.

                              "Oh for cryin' out loud, you dumb goat!" goes me, whilst I traipse back to the feed room to get wire cutters in the event I could not successfully push Barley goat's head back through.

                              Which I couldn't.... of course. Because Barley goat had chosen the section of fence where there was new fence and old fence (like 30 years old) strung parallel together. So even if he got free of new fence, he couldn't get free of old fence. Wrestling with a goat's long-horned head is not very effective.

                              Cut old fence....end of cut old fence rakes into my fingers as I rastle with Barley goat's heat, taking out two chunks of skin in the process. "**)&^()! Goat!"

                              And with a twist of his cute lil old head, Barley goat frees himself of new fence and happily jigs off, Beh-eh-eh-eh-ing all the way, without so much as a Thank You Dumb Human for Doing My Bidding.

                              <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.


                              • #16
                                I have goats. Looooots of goats. We breed Boers, and I have a couple of Lamanchas for milk, some Alpines because they were cute and a couple of mixes - including a wether who looks like any minute he'll give birth (much like Laurieraces one). I love my goats! Don't find them hard to fence (ELECTRIC!) or keep and they're very affectionate. That being said, they are not the smartest animals and feeding them is sometimes taxing as they climb all over you...

                                I was feeding the gang a few weeks ago, had my cell phone in a back pocket. I had been texting my BIL (we're very good friends) and I guess one of the goats jumped up on me and it dialed him.

                                He called me back laughing hysterically - I guess he was walking through an airport and got a audio feed of me feeding the goats, complete with swearing.

                                Anyone in the area (MD) that has a goat they don't want I'd be happy to take them off your hands!
                                True North Dressage
                                Select Cheval Canadiens for dressage and eventing


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by OneGrayPony View Post
                                  I have goats. I'm not sure why. I guess it's because I'm a glutton for punishment.
                                  they are however, very good BBqd with a Jamaican jerk sauce
                                  just cover the legs with foil,don't wanna burn anything edible
                                  Production Acres,Pro A Welsh Cobs
                                  I am one of the last 210,000 remaining full time farmers in America.We feed the others.


                                  • #18
                                    We had a small goat dairy.
                                    I don't know how long goats live, because we "recycled" them eventually.
                                    We did keep an alpine doe and our main boy Billy into their old age, but they were here when I came, so don't know how ancient they were.
                                    We did have a cow live to 27.

                                    What keeps goats safe is that you can't convince anyone that they are not the cutest thing around, especially the kids.
                                    I dare anyone to watch them run around and not grin, even if you are a confirmed grinch.


                                    • #19
                                      I have heard/seen bad goats before, the tack store I went to as a kid had 2 that would stand on the customers cars and lick the salt off in the winter.
                                      BUT--- I have the BEST goat in the world!! He lived with my senior stallion until he passed away and now just wanders around the farm keeping company with my babies which he manners if they get out of line. He will get into the feed buckets and is a pain about it but other than that small issue, he's the coolest animal. I even had someone offer me a LOT of money to buy him and refused, I won't ever find another like him I don't think.
                                      There are good goats out there and if you ever met Stanley you would agree!!! ;-)
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                                      • #20
                                        2 that would stand on the customers cars
                                        They are lucky that's all they did. "Otis" and his two large black dog buddies would race down the driveway upon hearing an approaching car. When they neared the car, the dogs would split off on either side while Otis would leap onto the hood. This usually resulted in the car stopping abruptly. The large black dogs would then bark hysterically at the people in the car while Otis jumped from the hood to the roof to the trunk and back.

                                        People learned to call before dropping by.
                                        "If you would have only one day to live, you should spend at least half of it in the saddle."