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Farm Corollaries to Murphy's Law

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  • Farm Corollaries to Murphy's Law

    Just something I got to thinking of tonight, while encountering the first one.

    The minute you are handling a nice, slobbery, icky, sticky, just-used ivermectin tube, your nose will start itching.

    If you ever say, "He always/never . . . " then this time he won't/will.

    If you wonder if you left the water on, the answer is determined by whether you go back or not. If you go back to check, you did not. If you don't, you did.


  • #2
    If you wonder if you left the water on, the answer is determined by whether you go back or not. If you go back to check, you did not. If you don't, you did.
    That is so brutally, painfully true...

    If you leave them out, it will thunder or freezing rain... if you leave them in, the front will pass far south and it will be the nicest day of the week.

    I'm sure I'll think of more... Murphy was an Irishman afterall.
    InnisFailte Pinto Sporthorses & Coloured Cobs

    Bits are like cats, what's one more? (Petstorejunkie)


    • #3
      When you fall off, you will land on your most recent injury.
      Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


      • #4
        If you mention the word sale to your horse, he will go lame.
        Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


        • #5
          The low tire on the horse trailer will always go flat when you are already late.

          The Jack Russells will chase the cat through the newest horse's stall within minutes after you unload him and get the protective shipping boots off him.

          If you pile the shavings outside the barn, it will rain.
          If you pile the shavings inside the barn, it will not rain, and it will make you sneeze for threee weeks until the pile is used up.

          The INSTANT you say, "he'll walk right on", he trips, jumps up, hits his head on the top of the trailer, fling himself, backs up, rips the lead rope through your hand and gets loose, running all over the farm for 15 minutes then you spend the next hour reloading.

          The barn's hotwater heater will break the exact day you need to bathe four hunt horses for a 10am start.

          There is no greater incentive than a pending thunderstorm for encouraging a baler to breakdown, and further, the forecasted amount of rain has a direct relation with how expensive the part will be.

          How are those?
          Proud & Permanent Student Of The Long Road
          Read me: EN (http://eventingnation.com/author/annemarch/) and HJU (http://horsejunkiesunited.com/author/holly-covey/)


          • #6
            If you have to run quickly to the barn to do anything wearing clean clothing that you need to go out in public in, you can bet that one of the horses will manage to get you dirty.
            There are friends and faces that may be forgotten, but there are horses that never will be. - Andy Adams


            • #7
              When you're one trip away from your turn to enter the show arena, you will suddenly have to pee.

              When one of his blankets is at the cleaners, the leg straps or buckles on the alternate blanket are likely to break.


              • #8
                You could repair an exploded artery on a black horse and not spill one drop of blood, but the minute you start working on a light gray or a horse with lots of chrome the teensiest needle prick gushes like Old Faithful.

                Oh and THAT's the one whose owner will be in attendance.
                Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
                Sam: A job? Does it pay?
                Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
                Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.


                • #9
                  If you go out to blanket the two young fillies because the low is going to be in the 30's-- you will not be able to catch them, it will be cold and it will rain that night.
                  The only difference between a runaway and a fast gallop is nothing but a SMILE
                  Most horses cross the Rainbow Bridge, but TEDDY JUMPED IT!!!
                  Member of the COTH Enabler Clique


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by pinkdiamondracing View Post
                    If you go out to blanket the two young fillies because the low is going to be in the 30's-- you will not be able to catch them, it will be cold and it will rain that night.
                    And if you DO get the darn fillies blanketed, the temps will skyrocket into the 70's within 2hrs. *headdesk*


                    • #11
                      That the amount of horses you have on your place will directly relate to the amount of space you have...you will never have excess space/stalls.
                      Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique


                      • #12
                        Horses are twice as likely to lose shoes the day AFTER the blacksmith's most recent visit.

                        Horses with fragile, patched, acrylic feet are 5 times as likely to lose shoes that day.

                        The odds get even worse if the blacksmith goes out of town.


                        • #13
                          Temperatures will be well above normal until you finally give in and body clip your horse. Then they will plunge to below-normal.

                          If two people buy weanlings, the taller person will end up with the shorter mature horse.

                          If you drag yourself out of bed to ride in the 8 am lesson b/c only one other person had signed up for it by the time you left the barn the day before, seven people (including at least one with a psycho horse, one who has panic attacks during every lesson, one who never figured out left-sides together when passing...) will have signed up by the next morning.

                          If you take your standing wraps home to wash them and then forget them the next day, that is the day that you will need them for sure.

                          When you get the justifiably reactive rehab horse out because it seems so nice and quiet, suddenly the gardeners will arrive with blowers and weed-whackers, people with umbrellas that they open and close rapidly will walk down the road and stop to watch, small boys on bicycles will appear from nowhere, and someone will walk a zebra down the road. (someone truly did walk a zebra down the road last weekend at the beginning of our lesson, but it was mercifully before it was time for the rehab horse)

                          (I had one pull a re-tacked on shoe as the farrier was pulling out the driveway: I ran after him, but it was too late)
                          The Evil Chem Prof


                          • #14
                            The day you have your horse all soaped up in the wash stall is the day your well pump dies.
                            The day you don't sweep the aisle because you are just too tired from the day is the day the MFH stops by, of course.


                            • #15
                              The very instant you or your DH states "It will only take about an hour to do XXXX", you can be positive that three days later you'll still be trying to get it finished.

                              No matter that you live miles from town on a rarely traveled back road - if you run out of your house in the morning in your ratty bathrobe to check on something, that's when every car within a hundred miles decides to take the scenic route right by your driveway.

                              No goat will get it's head stuck in the fence furthest from the barn/house until you are dressed for work and walking out the door to go to work.

                              The horses will absolutely hover around the gate until the instant you get back to the farm with wormers/shots/new halter or whatever it is that you want to give-try right now, and then they'll both take off to the absloute far end of the pasture - at the top of the mountain, and stay there indefinately.

                              The mini donkey will be completley in your pocket and under your feet until the day you decide to do her feet - and then acts like one of the wild burros - staying just out of reach, ducking all attempts to catch her and hiding behind any convenient goat.

                              Any mud, anywhere, will be just deep enough to rise over the top of whatever mud shoes/boots you put on that morning.
                              "The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear" ~ Socrates


                              • Original Poster

                                A horse can turn himself in 15 minutes from a neatly groomed equine into a walking mud pie who looks like he has never been groomed this decade - but he will save up his best efforts at this for the days when somebody is coming to look at the horses.


                                • #17
                                  Love this!

                                  If you decide to clip your horse the day before an opening hunt meet; then you can guarantee your clippers will break OR your blades will crash....don't ask me how I know this......

                                  This thread makes me howl!!!


                                  • #18
                                    The day you ask a friend who ships in if you can use her trailer to review trailer loading while she is having her lesson is the day your horse will forget it ever knew how to load, so your friend has to spend an extra hour at the barn watching trailer training.

                                    And from auditing many clinics I know very well that the day you pay tons of money to ride with a European trainer is the day your excellent new fancy dressage horse will act like he's still at training level, and you'll spend the whole expensive lesson working on forward, willing and on-the-bit.


                                    • #19
                                      If you take your eyes off the camera for a quick shower, your mare will foal.

                                      The higher the show fees are, the more likely your horse will go lame.

                                      If the weather turns suddenly cold/wet, the blanket you need will not be available

                                      If your horse develops rain rot, abcess or other ailment, your tack store will be out of the supply you need. If you are lucky enough to find Micro Tek or other liquid in stock you will drop it at home and break the sprayer and spill half of it
                                      Epona Farm
                                      Irish Draughts and Irish Draught Sport horses

                                      Join us on Facebook


                                      • #20
                                        If you need a vet in an emergency, look at the calendar, its probably the weekend so you get that nice emergency call charge,
                                        Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.