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Question: Does anybody else's dog not like your SO?

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  • Question: Does anybody else's dog not like your SO?

    I was just curious to know if I'm the only one in this situation and how to deal with it. I have a four year old Australian Cattle Dog (aka Blue Heeler) who loves me, loves other people, but really really doesn't like my husband!Now, she's fine with everybody else, including my husband's friends, so I don't think that it's because Chris is new to her. I don't know what the deal is. He hasn't hurt her, heck he just got back from Iraq! Chris tries to love on her and play with her, give her treats, all that jazz. Nothing works! Molly barely tolerates him being in the house. She doesn't like him being near me either. She barked at him this morning as he was getting ready for work and came in to give me a kiss. She barks at him when he gets home or even just goes outside then comes back in the house.

    Is anyone else going through or has already gone through this? Can it be fixed or am I just gonna have to deal with it? I'm not getting rid of my dog!
    Devil Pup 13 May 2010
    Veni, vidi, nates calce concidi
    Molly~4yo Blue Heeler & Dakota Nov 09 Baby Heeler

  • #2
    It's been two years...

    Our little rescue mutt has been with us two years and still just tolerates my husband. He had obviously been abused as a pup and we are guessing that it was the "man of the house" who beat him and the family because he gets squirrely if my husband is playing with the girls sometimes. Only now will he sit in the same room with DH and occasionally come over for a pet - but just on the tip of the nose or top of his head. However, he will sleep in bed with us and let my husband pet him then. He is an oddball to say the least. He is leary of men in general but it is DH that spooks him the most. He just can't seem to trust him and still barks like a murderer is breaking into the house when he gets home at night. Issues? Yeah, he has a few!

    He is only now starting to take treats from my husband's hand. For the longest time he wouldn't even take a steak from him. My husband tried sitting on the floor with and without food and nothing really worked except for time and kind words. Oddly enough when we are on vacation he is fine with my husband - it is only at home.

    Hang in there - hopefully things will get better.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Walk_N_Gal88 View Post
      I was just curious to know if I'm the only one in this situation and how to deal with it. I have a four year old Australian Cattle Dog (aka Blue Heeler) who loves me, loves other people, but really really doesn't like my husband!Now, she's fine with everybody else, including my husband's friends, so I don't think that it's because Chris is new to her. I don't know what the deal is. He hasn't hurt her, heck he just got back from Iraq! Chris tries to love on her and play with her, give her treats, all that jazz. Nothing works! Molly barely tolerates him being in the house. She doesn't like him being near me either. She barked at him this morning as he was getting ready for work and came in to give me a kiss. She barks at him when he gets home or even just goes outside then comes back in the house.

      Is anyone else going through or has already gone through this? Can it be fixed or am I just gonna have to deal with it? I'm not getting rid of my dog!
      Here's your answer....because YOU belong to her.

      Trying to help, promise.....how do YOU treat Molly? Is Molly a dominant dog and you have subconsciously allowed her to take over the alpha role of the house?

      There was a Ceaser Episode about this very thing not too long ago. In that particular case, it was a bassett hound who HATED the husband.....barked at him, ran from him......They figured out that the husband was so frustrated that he was sending negative energy towards the dog and then the wife was the dog's enabler.

      Does your husband try to go to her? If so, I would tell him to ignore her and let her come to him. I would also try to make her associate him with positive things..not necessariy treats, but things like walks.

      If you can find that Ceaser episode online somewhere, it might help you. It was from this past season.

      Comment


      • #4
        You need to watch "It's Me or the Dog!", on Animal Planet! Your husband and the dog need to bond. He needs to get down to the dog's level and lavish her with treats--now--make friends.... The longer this problem goes on the harder it will be to fix it. It would be helpful if he would take her out for walks and play with her if he isn't now. And watch that show!!!!
        "We want to raise our children so that they can take a sense of pleasure in both their own heritage and the diversity of others." ~Mr. (Fred) Rogers~

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by lcw579 View Post
          Our little rescue mutt has been with us two years and still just tolerates my husband. He had obviously been abused as a pup and we are guessing that it was the "man of the house" who beat him and the family because he gets squirrely if my husband is playing with the girls sometimes. Only now will he sit in the same room with DH and occasionally come over for a pet - but just on the tip of the nose or top of his head. However, he will sleep in bed with us and let my husband pet him then. He is an oddball to say the least. He is leary of men in general but it is DH that spooks him the most. He just can't seem to trust him and still barks like a murderer is breaking into the house when he gets home at night. Issues? Yeah, he has a few!

          He is only now starting to take treats from my husband's hand. For the longest time he wouldn't even take a steak from him. My husband tried sitting on the floor with and without food and nothing really worked except for time and kind words. Oddly enough when we are on vacation he is fine with my husband - it is only at home.

          Hang in there - hopefully things will get better.
          Just wanted to mention that your little guy "may" have been abused by a man....BUT, I have one here in this household who I know has never been abused by a man and he is leery of men, takes him a very long time to warm up to them.

          I think some dogs are scared of men in general because they walk differently, are usually taller/bigger and usually have a deeper voice.

          Doesn't necessarily mean that they were abused.....I've got proof in this house.

          Comment


          • #6
            Dalpal, I wasn't going to admit this but when we first got him and he started acting so fearful my girls begged me to call the "pet psychic" - so we actually have consulted two animal communicators and both mentioned him being beat in the head by a violent man. One said he gets headaches sometimes. They were spot on about some of the things they said about the other pets in the house (in for a penny in for a pound ) so I am inclined to believe their is some truth to the story. It was interesting how similar both "readings" were and I was very careful not to say anything leading since I was a skeptic. We used one my sister likes and another that was recommended at the pet supply store.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by lcw579 View Post
              Dalpal, I wasn't going to admit this but when we first got him and he started acting so fearful my girls begged me to call the "pet psychic" - so we actually have consulted two animal communicators and both mentioned him being beat in the head by a violent man. One said he gets headaches sometimes. They were spot on about some of the things they said about the other pets in the house (in for a penny in for a pound ) so I am inclined to believe their is some truth to the story. It was interesting how similar both "readings" were and I was very careful not to say anything leading since I was a skeptic. We used one my sister likes and another that was recommended at the pet supply store.
              Gotcha...Oh that is so sad for him.

              I just mentioned it because I know that's the assumption alot of the time, but I don't think it's always the case.

              Comment


              • #8
                You might also want to consider the breed. Aussies, heelers, border collies - all are working dogs who tend to be one-person dogs. I loved my husband's late Aussie dearly, and she me, but there was no question that he belonged to her, first!, and that was that. Reba was so jealous at first that any time Mark and I would hug or kiss, she'd stick her head in between us. It was funny to me, and I didn't take offense, since I know that Aussies are just like that. The behaviour decreased as time went on, but never totally went away.

                God rest you, Reba. And keep Rocky in line, will you? And show him the ropes? (We euthanized Reba's best friend, Rocky, yesterday, at age 16)

                I miss you both.
                In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
                A life lived by example, done too soon.
                www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  #9
                  No Molly is actually a very submissive dog. Hard to believe but she is! Before I got her a few months ago, she was kept outside with two other Blue Heelers (one of them her sire who could be mean if you messed with his folks), a rambunctious German Shepard and a Yorkie. The other female Heeler was the omega of the "pack" with Molly right above her. She wasn't abused or anything, I got her from folks my family's known for 50+ years.

                  I'll get Chris to spend more time with Molly and see if that helps. It may be nothing or it may just be her pregnancy hormones

                  Thanks Y'all!
                  Devil Pup 13 May 2010
                  Veni, vidi, nates calce concidi
                  Molly~4yo Blue Heeler & Dakota Nov 09 Baby Heeler

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #10
                    I'm sorry about your loss ESG <<<<<HUGS>>>>>
                    Devil Pup 13 May 2010
                    Veni, vidi, nates calce concidi
                    Molly~4yo Blue Heeler & Dakota Nov 09 Baby Heeler

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      my dog, aussie ACD mix, owner her since she was 6 weeks old, is sometimes fearful of men. I have noticed it is often men with deep voices, and when they try to approach her, she gets more scared. Seeing as you sid you hubby is from the military I am envisioning a manly-man . I agree that you should have him do things with her that rock her world-given that she is an ACD- she has to have things that are "the best" like playing ball, running in the woods, (for my dog it's frisbee and chasing the waves). If she can associate him with those things he will become the best to her. It is important to ignore her and let her come to him.

                      My first meeting of an ACD was when I worked on a ranch in WY. My boss had an old cranky ACD. Everyone said to just ignore him, he wasn't people friendly etc. So I did. Well, his favorite thing was to ride on the back of the 4-wheeler. Well, one night I got on the 4 wheeler to go feed the Llama, and Dawg jumped on the back. I was a bit leary, because he was a grupy crazy old ACD. About halfway out to the pasture, Dawg leaned over and pressed his cheek to my cheek. After that moment we were BFFs.

                      They are smart quirky little dogs, she will have to come to the decision on her own tha hubby is the best, once she does they will be best friends.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Walk_N_Gal88 View Post
                        I'm sorry about your loss ESG <<<<<HUGS>>>>>
                        Thanks. The Bridge got two of ours in one week. The other was my 29 year old TB gelding. That one was tough, too.
                        In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
                        A life lived by example, done too soon.
                        www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I have an Aussie. He was 3 when my first husb and I split up and a little while later I met my current husband.
                          Many of the working breeds are very much one person dogs. When my current husb and I first moved in together, my Aussie actually jumped on his back once (leaving scars and drawing blood) when DH was playing with my older dog, and then one other time bit DH in the hand, quite badly.
                          We were trying to place him and agonizing over possibly putting him down when a friend had a litter of black labs. So we got him a puppy. The change was dramatic. He did a 180, fell in love with the puppy and they became fast friends. Total attitude adjustment where DH was concerned. No problems to this day and the dog will be 13 this year.
                          he is still very much my dog and always will be, but they get along fine now and even hang out together. My Dh has deployed a bunch to Iraq too and it goes well when he returns.

                          Your dog may just be feeling a little jealous since he doesn't have you all to himself anymore and there is a new pecking order in the pack. I think the trick is try not to disrupt the routine any more than you have to. IF he's been sleeping with you, don't kick him out of the bed, for example. That's what my DH tried at the beginning and it didn't go over well at all.
                          Another idea is have your SO feed the dog. And only your SO feed the dog, til he gets over himself.
                          They may never be best friends, but they should at least be able to co exist peacefully.
                          "Perhaps the final test of anybody's love of dogs is their willingness to permit them to make a camping ground of the bed" -Henry T. Merwin

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            #14
                            Well I wouldn't have kicked Molly out of the bed except for one teensy little problem...she tried to tear a chunk out of my husband's butt when we were...ahem...busy ...cuz she thought he was hurting me!!! I called her off but Chris and I laughed our hides off just about. Mama did too didn't you!? Daddy told Mama to tell me to tell Molly to bite Chris again! he thought Molly actually got to Chris.
                            Devil Pup 13 May 2010
                            Veni, vidi, nates calce concidi
                            Molly~4yo Blue Heeler & Dakota Nov 09 Baby Heeler

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              My So is not a dog person... I have two Briards that he thinks are not as smart as his cat. They feel his disdain and as soon as we leave the house the move EVERYTHING the man owns out through the dogdoor into the back yard. This includes going through the laundry basket and picking out only his things<g> They are quite good at looking innocent and smug at the same time...
                              Touchstone Farm. Visit us at the slideshow of our Dutch mares and foals below! 30 mnutes of photos.
                              http://www.smilebox.com/playBlog/4d6...304f513d3d0d0a

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by Touchstone Farm,Ky View Post
                                My So is not a dog person... I have two Briards that he thinks are not as smart as his cat. They feel his disdain and as soon as we leave the house the move EVERYTHING the man owns out through the dogdoor into the back yard. This includes going through the laundry basket and picking out only his things<g> They are quite good at looking innocent and smug at the same time...

                                that is freakin hilarious. YOu need to set up a video camera and send that in to one of those video shows. You might get some $$
                                "Perhaps the final test of anybody's love of dogs is their willingness to permit them to make a camping ground of the bed" -Henry T. Merwin

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by Walk_N_Gal88 View Post
                                  Well I wouldn't have kicked Molly out of the bed except for one teensy little problem...she tried to tear a chunk out of my husband's butt when we were...ahem...busy ...cuz she thought he was hurting me!!! I called her off but Chris and I laughed our hides off just about. Mama did too didn't you!? Daddy told Mama to tell me to tell Molly to bite Chris again! he thought Molly actually got to Chris.
                                  Yep that happened to us too
                                  My husband screwed up in that if he came home and I was already in bed (of course the dog was right there with me) he would order him out of the bed and make a big deal out of it. I didn't think that was fair since the dog had been sleeping with me since he was a little tiny puppy. So it became a major issue, and once i got him to stop being so dramatic about it it got better. Now, there's no dogs in the bed during activities, and after when it's time to go to sleep he can come up.
                                  Of course these days I have to help him since he can't jump that high anymore but when he was younger it took a little retraining.
                                  "Perhaps the final test of anybody's love of dogs is their willingness to permit them to make a camping ground of the bed" -Henry T. Merwin

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Maybe she's just not comfortable sharing a house with a guy, if she's gotten used to a household without a man? My current dog's lived in an all-female household for a long time, and she clearly gets intimidated/defensive when men come into the house. This was not a problem with my previous dogs, who both lived in mixed-sex households. She particularly dislikes my one brother, who is not a dog person and who helped create the problem by losing his temper with her. I've been trying to get them to quit attacking each other by feeding her treats when he comes around - he tosses them to her, I feed her treats off his knee, etc. (edit to add - they don't actually attack each other, just glare)

                                    I agree about "It's Me Or The Dog." Quite a few episodes have a dog who dislikes the husband, and Victoria seems to emphasize having the wife make it clear to the dog that being cranky to the husband results in the dog losing attention - if wife and husband are on the couch, for example, and the dog comes over for a pat from the wife and gives the husband attitude, the wife gets up and turns her back on the dog.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      My husband is in the Navy and wasn't in port for the first 6 months of us having Onyx, our lab mix. I was also working at a barn at the time, so she got to spend almost all day with me. She was DH's sister's dog before, and she lived alone, so she was very much a one-woman dog! When hubby came home... not good! She would not listen to him at all. If he wanted to take her out and asked her to sit, she would literally turn to face me, with her back to him, and wait until I confirmed that she should sit. Eventually she started to listen to him, but she would still turn to face me while doing what he asked. You can imagine how much that irked him!!

                                      She also went on a rampage for a couple days where she destroyed everything of his that she could get her hands on... underwear, t-shirts, his toothbrush, and - get this - his RAZOR. There was blood everywhere! She had torn her gums up while trying to chew up his razor. She hadn't touched anything of mine. Yes, my dog has issues. She has gotten better, and although she harbors a bit of resentment toward him, she now listens to him and asks for attention from him.
                                      Gentleman J - "Junior" - My been-there, done-that jumper

                                      Send Your Love - "Serena" - Aug 10th 2009, Rest in Peace

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster

                                        #20
                                        I think that this may be a big part of the problem! Chris hasn't even been home from Iraq for a week and a half. While I have wanted Molly for several years, my best friend's parents didn't give her to me until the last week of January. so from the end of January until last monday it was mainly just Molly and I, with other folks mixed in. She's had a lot of changes since January so I'm almost positive thats another factor.
                                        Devil Pup 13 May 2010
                                        Veni, vidi, nates calce concidi
                                        Molly~4yo Blue Heeler & Dakota Nov 09 Baby Heeler

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